A/N: Happy International Asexuality Day everyone! I actually wrote this back during Aromantic Week in February, only to just…forget to post it. Whoops. Fortunately, I headcanon Obi-Wan as both aromantic and asexual, so I didn't have to wait until next year.898
Describes by a friend as "a wholesome vent fic," this is ultimately a piece about my frustrations as an aroace with Dave Filoni's reasons for giving Obi-Wan a love interest in TCW. Contrary to Filoni's claims, Obi-Wan didn't need a romance to be relatable, thank you very much (and in fact, became less relatable to me upon being written with one). This fic is…really what I wish we could've had. Also, first time writing Satine – I hope I did okay!
Lastly and most importantly – it's become a little scarier to be LGBTQ+ in the world right now for a number of reasons, so please do your best to support the community. That's going to look different depending on where you live, obviously, but if you're in a place where you can contact your representatives or petition, I urge you to do so. Be safe and support each other, folks.
"I wasn't lying, you know," Obi-Wan sighed, sitting down next to Satine heavily. "I would have left, if you'd asked."
It turned his stomach to think about, but he really would have. He had been young and unmoored in the shock of finding out just how much the galaxy outside the temple doors revered romance and sex. At the time, he had just been figuring out that not all Jedi felt the same way he did; that he was aromantic and asexual and a Jedi, not aromantic and asexual because he was a Jedi.
Obi-Wan knew that in the chaos of all of that, he would've felt obligated to stay. No matter how much he'd have wanted to do otherwise.
Satine sighed.
"…You would have been miserable." Obi-Wan jerked his head to look at her. Satine smiled back at him - a melancholy thing, in the vaguest sense, though it lightened towards something of a true smile the longer he watched her face. "It's why I never asked. Or, part of why, anyways."
"You knew?" Obi-Wan boggled. "I barely even knew, back then."
The Mandalore mission - or at least, meditating on it afterwards - had been part of what made him realize his identity, for goodness sake!
"What can I say," Satine laughed. "I'm observant, always have been."
"Certainly; I would never dare to suggest otherwise," Obi-Wan chuckled. As the laughter faded, however, a sort of weight settled itself around his shoulders. It wasn't particularly heavy, but it dragged like a net in water, and it moved him to speak with little thought. "…Thank you, you know. For never asking."
"You don't need to thank me for that."
"Yes, I do. I…I knew how you felt about me, Satine, and I can't thank you enough for never pressuring me with that. Not to enter a relationship, not to leave my life as a Jedi behind… Just, thank you."
"Of course," Satine shrugged as if it meant nothing, but Obi-Wan could tell she was touched by his words. "I love you too much to ever do something like that."
Obi-Wan sighed.
"I love you too, you know?" he offered; the shadow of an old, childish guilt at not reciprocating her feelings flickering across his consciousness. "Not the same way, mind you - and I am sorry about that - but… You're my friend, and I consider myself lucky to call you that."
"Obi-Wan Kenobi, don't apologize for not feeling the same way, you self-sacrificing idiot." Satine's words were sharp, as was her tone, though not without a great deal of affection. "That's not… ugh! Handling my emotions is my responsibility, and that includes respecting the boundaries of yours. I consider myself lucky to call you my friend too - you don't have to be my partner or my lover to matter to me! Besides, even if our feelings had matched up, it never would have worked anyways. We're both creatures of duty first, I know you know that."
"I do, I do, trust me. I'd even argue that's what our friendship's foundation is." Obi-Wan let out a huff of gentle laughter. "You would've made a good Jedi, Satine."
Satine beamed.
"Coming from you? There's no higher compliment; I know how much your people mean to you." And she did, he knew, in the knowing of how much her people meant to her. Satine stood, stretching a bit, before turning to face him and smiling. "Don't be a stranger, alright? I'd sincerely regret missing the chance to actually be friends again."
Obi-Wan smiled.
"So would I."
A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Sorry for the lack of updates on anything recently – my life has been unexpectedly busy – so I'm extra glad I had this backlogged to post for folks. For any of you who follow any of my other works, don't worry – they haven't been abandoned.
As for this fic, the barebones concept of it has honestly been eating at me for years. I'm really glad I finally got around to putting my thoughts down. I hope you enjoyed the image of young Obi-Wan realizing that his experiences were Not Universal – something based on my own life, given that I once thought sexual and romantic attraction were made up for TV lmao.
As a grumpy little aside, note that Satine does not, upon being rejected romantically, start immediately gunning for a qpr! She respects Obi-Wan's saying no! This is something that's really important to me, as someone who has been on the receiving end of one too many "jokes" about how someone would "marry me for tax benefits." Please don't just assume that an aro person would just be down for a queerplatonic relationship, yeesh. Also, to any aromantics or asexuals reading this – you never owe anybody sex or romance, or any sort of partnership, no matter how they feel about you.
As a less grumpy little aside, tell your friends you love them! This has been my platonic "I love you" agenda, though you obviously don't have to if you aren't comfortable doing so.
