Nightmares
I tried to fight against him, crawling at his hands as they pinned mine. Fingers digging so deep into my flesh I was sure I would have bruises for days. Though I doubted I would live that long.
"I'm tired of waiting, Roza. Choose, or I will choose for you."
I cringed at the feeling of his breath, feeling his lips move against my skin. Gone were the pleasurable shivers of anticipation I used to get when he was this close to me. There wasn't even a sense of awe when I looked up at him anymore. The lies that I had been telling myself were no longer believable, the façade broken. This wasn't Dimitri—this was a monster that wore his face.
He shifted, clasping both of my wrists with one hand above my head, his free hand trailed down my body, lust filling his otherwise cold eyes. There was no warmth or love.
His touch became painful again, tilting my chin back with his powerful grip. I glared up at him, pushing all my hatred for the dark creature before me into my eyes, I wasn't going to be deceived anymore. "Kill me!" I spat out, voice low and menacing. I didn't fear death.
Dimitri's jaw clenched, grip tightening until I could feel the bone in my wrists rubbing against each other. A cold, sinister smile pulled at his lips. Such a look didn't suit Dimitri, it was unnatural and wrong. Further proof that he was not the man I loved anymore.
"Wrong answer."
I had expected it, knowing it was a risk. I never had a choice, not really. But that knowledge didn't stop the fear that flooded my body, making my blood feel like ice in my veins. I didn't even have time to scream as my head was ripped to the side and his fang sunk deep into my throat.
I sat up with a gasp, a scream desperate to escape but it felt like my lungs were frozen. My heart was beating so intensely in my chest that I was sure it was echoing in the otherwise quiet room.
My room.
As my eyes adjusted to the darkness I took in the objects that surrounded me, finding a small sense of comfort in knowing that it was only a nightmare. I wasn't in that place anymore.
But the fear was still there.
A shuffling beside me startled me, moving off the bed with surprising speed, picking up my stake off the bedside table and angling it in front of me.
I didn't have a weapon to protect me in my dream, now I did.
"Roza?"
My mind knew I was in my room and not in that dream still, and yet hearing his voice made my body tense, prepared to fight him off again. This time I won't lose.
His eyes widened, watching me with furrowed brows from the bed. Something crossed his face—understanding. Dimitri drew back with his hands up, a look of anguish pulling at his features. "It was just a nightmare. You're safe. Please, Roza, I won't hurt you again."
His voice caught, my heart clenching at the sound.
I glanced at the stake in my hand. What was I doing?
The cool metal slipped through my fingers, landing on the carpet with a soft thump. I covered my mouth as I gasped again or maybe it was a sob. Just as fast as I had left the bed I returned to it, Dimitri hesitating for a moment before his arms encircled me.
"I'm sorry," I whispered against his chest. His skin was warm, heart beating strong beneath my ear. "I'm so sorry."
He shushed me softly, hands rubbing up and down my spine to comfort me, "It was just a nightmare." His words sounded like they were for his comfort as much as for mine.
It had been so long since I had dreamt of Dimitri being Strigoi, most times I did was me staking him on the bridge or of him dying from the flames that had surrounded him.
I couldn't believe I had aimed a stake at him, his expression burned into my mind.
"It's okay. You're safe."
I curled in tighter to him. I wished those months had never happened. That my dreams wouldn't constantly feel the need to remind us both of the weeks he kept me captive.
I wish I didn't cause him pain when I would relive those fears. "I know, Dimitri," I soothed him, feeling the tense muscles of his back. "I love you."
He released a long breath, my words a balm on his ever-present guilt. "I love you too, Roza."
