No Anesthesia

I looked over the wound, blood trailing down his arm from the bullet hole. Luckily it was a through and through, missing the bones, and considering the limited amount of bleeding, I doubted it hit any of the major blood vessels.

"You're lucky," I commented as I pulled out the small first aid kit I had with me. It didn't have much, most of it being replaced by whatever material I could find when I got low on the real stuff.

Dimitri didn't even flinch as I prodded the skin around the wound, simply lifting the bottle of vodka to his lips and swallowing it. He glanced down at me before looking away. Based on the scars littering his body, he was no stranger to pain.

These days there weren't too many of us that didn't have a scar of some kind, from a bullet or knife. We called ourselves Guardians, protecting those that held special gifts. The kind of gifts that the Royal Council wanted to use. If they caught you, you were as good as dead, becoming their mindless puppets.

My best friend had one of those gifts, and I would go to the ends of the earth to protect her. I had sacrificed my life for her once before, and I was willing to do it again.

It was because of her that I was here, dragging her halfway across the country to the Guardian's base in hopes of being accepted and not turned away. While they were willing to protect, Lissa and I had warrants out with our names on them. Every person between here and Canada knew to look out for us.

Thankfully, they took us in. I joined those that would fight, and Lissa would heal. I didn't know how to tell anyone that the more she healed, the stronger the darkness became, slowly suffocating me as it grew heavier. But I kept taking it, shouldering the burden so that she could help the people helping us.

The only person noticing was him. While standoffish and a stick in the mud for rules, Dimitri had opened up to me a little. I could always feel his eyes on me when I was in the same room.

I had been trying to avoid him, even going so far as to piss him off so he would stop talking to me, stop noticing as I was being dragged down by the darkness churning inside me. It was fine until I got roped into helping Lissa patch up those who were hurt in the food run that went terrible, one of the many returning injured was Dimitri.

"Did you want me to numb it first?" I didn't have much but I was willing to use it on him. He shook his head, taking another long pull from the bottle.

"Just stitch it up."

I cringed, knowing just how painful it was getting stitches with nothing to stop the pain, though that would explain the alcohol. Better than nothing.

I pulled out the needle and thread, taking the bottle from his hands to pour some of the liquid over them. Everything was limited and we had to make do. I passed it back to him, noticing the slight frown he wore eyeing the bottle.

Holding the needle over his skin, I took a breath. "Try to not move." It was the only warning I gave before pressing the tip through his skin. Dimitri's jaw clenched, breath becoming harsher, but otherwise, was silent as I worked.

As the silence dragged on, I found myself wanting to talk to distract myself from the groans of pain and sight of blood around me. I had some knowledge of first aid but it wasn't something I enjoyed doing.

"What happened?"

His eyes shifted to me again, expression impassive. "Ambush."

I gritted my teeth, I already knew that much. Seemed I had done a good enough job at pissing Dimitri off, now he didn't want to talk to me at all. It was my own choice and yet I regretted it. When I had learned that people were injured, my stomach dropped, the feeling not leaving until I saw that he was alive.

"Ivan took most of it." His voice was so quiet I almost missed it, frowning at his words. Lissa was with Ivan now, hopefully being able to heal his wounds. He was not as lucky as Dimitri.

"Lissa is good. If anyone can save him, she will." I didn't want to give him empty promises but I also wanted to comfort him.

I tied off the knot, cutting the leftover thread. I dabbed some antiseptic cream over the stitches on both sides and then covered them with a bandage. There was no point telling him how often to clean them or to keep them covered, he knew.

As I packed up my supplies his hand caught mine, squeezing my fingers. I glanced up at him, noting the flush on his cheeks from the alcohol.

"It will affect you. Her saving Ivan will affect you." It wasn't a question, Dimitri knew what was happening to me even if I refused to acknowledge it.

I swallowed, looking away but not releasing his hand. "It's worth it."

"Your life is important as well."

I shook my head, "Not as important as hers. They come first."

I heard him sigh, feeling his breath hit me as he stood closer now, leaning down towards me. "Roza–"

"Dimitri!"

We both spun to look towards the voice calling him, Alberta waving him over with a relieved look. "He's awake."

Those two words were all it took, Dimitri released my hand and rushed to the opposite side of the room, disappearing behind the makeshift curtains we put around patients for privacy.

I packed up my kit, closing the latches with a sigh. Dimitri's words repeated in my head.

Your life is important as well.

He didn't realise how wrong he was.