"How long has it been?"
It was strange to be wandering these halls again. I had accepted when I left St. Vladimir's for Russia that I would never be returning. Whether that be because I wouldn't be welcomed back or because I was dead. And yet here I was.
Everyone would give me looks in passing, surprised to see me again after being away for weeks. No one knew what happened, not really. Lissa had some idea but not everything. I wasn't ready to reveal all of it to her yet.
I kept what happened with Dimitri in the suite he kept me in to myself. I don't know if it was because of shame or because it was the last memories I had with him. Sure, he was undead, a monster wearing his face, but there were so many times that he acted like my Dimitri.
It wasn't healthy, but I was holding those memories still.
There had been nights I would dream of those days, I preferred them to dreams about the bridge. But sometimes, my dreams were of him feeding off of me.
They terrified me, waking up in a panic that I was still trapped in that high, becoming complacent. What was worse was when I would wake up craving it.
"Rose! There you are." Lissa looped her arm through mine, squeezing me gently.
Since my return we had managed to mend our friendship, it was almost like before her parents died. She had sat with me and let me talk about my relationship with Dimitri, holding me as I cried for him. It brought us closer to rid the secrets between us.
"I'm starving," She complained, "Are you going to wait for me in the cafeteria?"
I didn't feel up to being alone with the questioning eyes of the other students, veering towards the feeders. "I'll come with you." I used to accompany Lissa to the feeders all the time, this was a return to normalcy.
We didn't have to wait too long for Lissa to get in, I followed her out of habit. Since her run-in with Avery, I've been more protective of her, not willing to let her out of my sight. I could tell she appreciated it, that whole situation had messed with her a lot.
The feeder was lounged in the chair, arm positioned for Lissa to easily access. I stood opposite them not paying much attention as they greeted one another. The lady was as out of it as the other feeders. Briefly, I wondered if that's what I sounded like when talking to Dimitri. Did I sound light and carefree? I definitely felt that way, carefree enough to not care that I was making out with a murderer.
It wasn't until Lissa was sinking her fangs into the flesh of the woman's arm that my attention snapped back to them. My eyes instantly narrowed in on where she was biting, hearing the soft moan from the feeder.
I licked my lips, hand creeping up to my neck. The scars were gone but I still remember the places he had bitten me.
"How long has it been?"
I flinched, eyes moving to the feeder's face, finding her eyes on me. She was more aware than I had expected.
"What?"
She grinned at me, dipping her head towards Lissa. "How long has it been since your last bite?"
I stepped back, my mouth becoming dry. I shook my head vehemently. "I don't–"
"I can tell by your face," She explained, "It's an amazing feeling isn't it?"
"I wouldn't know," I replied firmly, turning away from her. Squeezing my eyes shut as memories of Dimitri feeding on me flooded my mind. It had hurt each time, but the endorphins from the bite always made it worth it. They made everything better.
"Rose." I jumped at Lissa's voice, glancing at her over my shoulder. Her eyes were kind, understanding. I dropped mine to the ground.
Lissa knew.
"Let's go." She wrapped her arm around me and led us out into the hallway again. Her thoughts were concealed but I could feel her emotions. Thankfully, there wasn't any judgement there.
I caught her hand, squeezing it.
She gave me a sad smile in return. It's okay, Rose.
Not super happy with this one, but I'm rolling with it.
