—- Le coeur a ses raisons

He was turned away from her and she could not see his face, but he was only wearing his breeches and his back was bare. His skin glowed in the candlelight as he bent over ewer to wash his face. She had already finished her ablutions and had wandered quietly through the door that adjoined their rooms. He didn't realize she was watching him.

She sat on the edge of the bed, and looked down at her feet. Her bare toes were peeping out under the hem of her nightgown. Her peignoir was a beautiful blue silk and her gown was a sheer wash of white over her legs. She looked up and he was drying his face with the towel. A few drops of water glistened on his shoulder.

"Shouldn't a girl be more nervous on her wedding night?" She mused. She was not, oddly enough. She did not interrogate that feeling any further, but instead she arose and walked up behind him, putting her arms around his waist. She could feel him jump a bit in surprise. She savored the feelings. She could smell his clean scent, of something she could only call "man" and outdoors. She was obsessed with this. How delightful to feel his warmth, his trim waist under her arms, his smooth skin… she shivered and kissed him on his back right under his left shoulder blade. He had frozen but she could feel his heart racing under her cheek. Then she wondered "Or is that my heart beating so fast?" Her breath was coming faster and she didn't know if she was hot or cold.

In one swift move he turned and pulled her to him. His lips were on hers in a flash and she was lost in that kiss. How could a kiss be so powerful and so gentle all at once? He nibbled gently on her bottom lip.. "Oh, Xander…." She whispered, pressing closer to him to deepen the kiss. His hand came up to her neck in that wonderfully possessive way he had… Everything in her was shimmering and aching. She couldn't seem to get close enough to him, and even though she could hardly breath she didn't want him to stop kissing her. After a moment, she took a step back and looked up into the eyes of her husband….. Ralph Starling. She recoiled in horror, feeling as though she had committed a terrible sin. "No, no, no…" she stammered. "This isn't happening."

With a gasp Charlotte woke up in her bed. She was covered in sweat and was freezing because she had also kicked the covers off and the window was open. She pulled the blankets up to her chin and curled her knees up to her stomach. The feeling of horror and betrayal washed over her again. She rubbed her lips thoughtfully against her pillow, remembering the dream. What in God's name was she going to do about this? She couldn't control her dreams. Clearly her heart was not in line with her current path. Her heart didn't seem to care what was proper or expected. She remembered a bit of a verse from Blaise Pascal. "Le cœur a ses raisons, que la raison ne connaît point ; on le sait en mille choses." "The heart has its reasons that reason does not know". She had made Augusta translate some of his sayings months ago. She started to review the lesson in her mind, hoping it would help her fall asleep.