Lord Sesshomaru's POV

Rin grasped on to me with such desperation, and I could see in her eyes what she was pleading for without her having to say the words out loud. I wanted to give into her wishes and never deny her a thing again, but this was something that came along with potential consequences that could have us both suffering in the end.

I gently pulled away from her making my way to the balcony. I kept my composure as usual, but inside I needed the breathe fresh air and get out of this room, before I lost said composure. I heard Rin's steps not far behind me, and once she reached me she wrapped her arms around my waist from behind. My body tensed as usual, but I didn't mutter a word. Part of me would always hate this control she had over me, no matter how much I loved her.

"Lord Sesshomaru, what am I doing wrong?" She whispered, while nuzzling her head into my back.

I tried to find the right words, but as usual little words actually came out. "Nothing Rin, everything is fine."

She held onto me tighter, not wanting to give up. "Lord Sesshomaru don't shut down on me now, please I beg you. If it is truly your wish to live a life here with me, then we must start that life now, every second counts." I didn't respond to her, and I felt her arms release me. Within seconds she pushed herself in front of me, standing between myself and the railing of the balcony. "Look at me, Sesshomaru." I reluctantly did as she commanded, tilting my head downwards to lock eyes with her. She grabbed my hands placing them on her chest, so that I could feel her beautiful heart beating in her chest. "This thing that you feel in my chest beating so rapidly, is yours. It figuratively and literally is beating for you, My Lord. If I don't have your touch, your love, it could explode. I made my choice long ago that this was what I wanted, now it's time for you to truly choose me. No more holding back, give yourself to me in the most physical way possible on earth. Love me back, please."

"Rin, have I not proven it to you? Is this not all one huge gesture just to show you that?" I knew what she wanted, but all I could think about was the beating of her heart beneath my hands and how I never wanted to do anything to cause that beating to go away.

Rin released my hands, and they fell back at my sides. "No more dancing, this isn't about this room, or you bringing me here so that I'll be safe. I'm asking you to make love to me, Lord Sesshomaru, now tell me why you won't."

My face remained free of expression, but inside I felt sadness for Rin. I didn't want to her to think that there was anything wrong with her. "Rin you must know I'm physically much stronger than you, and while I fear the possibility of hurting you, there are much more pressing issues I have with this."

Rin tilted her head side ways in confusion. "What is it?"

"I do not want you to fall pregnant, not now anyway. Not until I can put certain things in order to keep you, and any future offspring safe." I started walking back toward's the bed, dragging Rin along with me by her hand. "Sit with me, please." She nodded sitting beside me. "I struggle with my love for you, and who I was before I ever met you. They are two different people trying to become one, and it's not a simple task. I've told you before I don't care what you are, Demon, human, it doesn't matter to me. At the same time I still have this belief that it isn't truly natural to create children that are mutts." Rin winced in pain as if I had struck her, and I felt immediate regret in my choice of wording. "Please don't misunderstand what I'm saying Rin, I want to give you children, and I will protect you and them with my life, no matter if they are half demon. That doesn't mean that's it's the natural order of things, I know I've mentioned to you before that the Demon of The East is someone for you to stay away from."

Rin nodded. "Yes you did, Kirinmaru."

"Yes him. His power only rivals mine and my fathers, I don't even believe Inuyasha would stand a chance with him. He hates humans, and he will loath the thought of a half demon off spring being born to possibly rule the lands of the West one day. He believes this is only a rightful position for a full Demon, and in fact I'm sure he's planning to one day try and rule the lands of the West himself and over throw the Dog Demon family. That alone is a problem, how can half demon children protect themselves from him if something were to happen to me? They can't, and that is why I need to put things in place so that he can't hurt you, or the child."

Rin's face scrunched up in annoyance, catching me off guard. "Lord Sesshomaru, I hope one day you will stop underestimating humans, including me. Half you, and half me, if you ask me no one could be stronger than that child which is made up of us. I won't stop you from worrying I know this, but I'm going to stop you from living in fear. Let go of all of it and do what you need to to protect us, but understand that no matter what you do destiny always has a way of working itself out. Whatever it's going to be, it's going to be. All that matters is what's right now, and that is you and me in this moment of happiness together. I have no doubt that whatever the future holds, you will always protect us." Rin looked down at the floor, her cheeks blushing bright red. "Besides, who knows when a child would even come to us, this would only be the first time after all. It could take a while."

I could not take her advice to just let whatever will be, be, but in this one moment I would let go of my fear and give her what she asked of me. "Rin don't look at the floor, keep your head held high." She looked up at me and before she could say anything I brought her lips to mine, letting go of the last bit of the old me that was left.