"Does That Hurt?"
I sat Dimitri on the bed, carefully watching for a reaction, any kind of reaction at this point. He hasn't spoken since he got back to Court, barely acknowledging anyone other than to answer questions from the higher-ups.
Dimitri had always been a man of few words, but with me, he didn't hold himself back. This silence now was eerie. And after being told that he may be dead earlier, I longed to hear his voice.
"Do you want a shower?"
No response. Not even a flick of his eyes in my direction.
He was covered in dirt and blood, the sight drawing more than one set of eyes when we walked back to our apartment from Headquarters. He was adamant that he was unharmed and didn't need to see a doctor. I tried to persuade him otherwise, but Dimitri is much more stubborn than me.
I waited a moment more before reaching for his shoulders and sliding his duster off his shoulders and down his arms, letting it pool around his waist on the bed. I got one arm out and then the other, noticing the hiss when my fingers gripped his wrist.
I held it up, examining his hand. His knuckles were raw and split from fighting. Pulling back his black sleeve revealed the discolouration around his wrist, it was already swelling around the joint.
So much for not needing a doctor.
I lightly pressed my fingers against it and then tested the movement. "Does that hurt?" He grunted but otherwise remained quiet. I withheld my sigh, understanding that he was still processing everything that had happened.
While I didn't find out much, the parts I did hear made my heart break for Dimitri. He went on a mission with five other guardians and only he made it back.
Carefully lowering his hand to his lap, I moved on to removing his shirt, unbuttoning it and untucking it from his jeans. More bruising was on his chest, I winced at the sight, especially around his ribs. Dimitri definitely should have seen a doctor.
"I tried to save them."
My eyes snapped to his, his soft voice was like music to my ears, but the pain in it made my heart clench. I brushed his hair back from his face, his eyes were unfocused, staring blankly ahead. "I know, Dimitri."
"It happened so quickly. I thought I could save Andrews, but he bled out in front of me."
There was nothing I could say that could make this better, there was none that he would believe. Dimitri held the world on his shoulders, always has, shouldering the weight of everything he did even if he was not at fault.
His expression broke, becoming one of anguish and rage, "I recognised one of the Strigoi. I killed him. I killed them all."
I looped my arms around him, leaning his head against my chest as I rubbed his back. His uninjured hand gripped the back of my shirt, pulling me in closer as he broke.
I continued to comfort him, doing what little I could to take away the pain. Right now, he wouldn't accept that he wasn't at fault, he will take all of the guilt and hold it as his own. Later, I will tell him he did everything he could and that he couldn't blame himself.
But for now, I held him.
