Climbing out of the knee-deep snowdrift, I fixed my tiara and started making my way to the group of four: only to pause in my steps as the Leader of The Moorish (whom I recognized as the kid dressed as 'Spock' from the fight at Clyde's house the other night) started pacing back-and-forth in front of Jimmy: angrily demanding that he give them the answers they were apparently looking for, or face 'severe' consequences.
"Speak Bard! Where is The Stick of Truth?!" he demanded, in a very-obviously rehearsed tone of voice that proved that his acting skills sucked: dressed in the same cyan-colored shirt as he did as the last time I saw him, though he'd exchanged his pointed ears for a light-grey helmet with a short pair of red horns on top. "Answer him or die, human!" the Moor on the left growled, jabbing Jimmy roughly in the chest with his wooden sword: his color scheme of dark-blue and orange made him a sharp contrast against the blank, white snow: to the point where my eyes nearly burned with discomfort. 'Well…at least he'd be easy to find if he ever got lost.' I mused, waiting for the rest of my friends to catch up as I heard the front door slam shut…guess the new rules of crossing 'lava' didn't apply to them: at least right now.
"The Wizard had it thrown into the ocean!" Jimmy replied, which was true: Eric did throw The Stick into the pond, though it was clear The Moorish didn't seem to like that answer…or even believe him for that matter. "LIES! You shall feel the wrath of The Moorish for your deceit!" the lead Moor shouted, only to pause mid-rant as the sliding glass door loudly slammed open behind me: revealing my friends as they charged out into the yard. Spotting movement out of the corner of my eye, I glanced to my left and grinned as Alex stomped up next to us: both serrated daggers drawn and ready to go. "Feel better?" I asked him, smirking as he glared at me and nodded: twirling his weapons in his fingers in a rather-intimidating display.
"Unhand him, you heathens!" Kyle yelled, brandishing his hockey stick as they came to a stop and took positions behind and around me in a wordless statement that The Moorish stood no chance of getting away without a fight. Glancing around, I noticed that Butters wasn't among the group: instead, Clyde took his place…guess they had him wait outside and guard the door or something. "Release The Bard! Or you'll have the Queen and her General to deal with!" he continued, immediately drawing looks of fearful awe from the boys holding Jimmy hostage: exchanging glances with each other and their leader as they tried to figure out what to do.
"The Queen?! As in 'The Savior of Zaron?!'" the one on the right said, looking to his companions for confirmation: only to find them just as awestruck as he was. "They say she can slay a dragon with one blow! And her General commands legions like nobody has ever seen! We're so screwed!" the other replied, cueing them both to exchange fearful looks as their leader stepped backwards as the situation finally seemed to sink in that they were definitely NOT going to be winning any fights if they chose to challenge us. "That's right! And if you don't-Wait! Wait, whoa…where is the Wizard?" Kyle asked, cutting himself off as we all looked around the yard and remains of the base: finally noticing the lack of Eric's presence among us, which made a scowl cross my face as it took me this long to realize he wasn't here. "Uh…I thought he was with you guys." Jimmy said, causing looks of confusion to drift among my 'Team' as the knowledge that Eric was supposed to be here but obviously-wasn't became even more apparent.
"I can text him, find out where he is." I offered, only for Clyde to beat me to it as he pulled out his phone, rapidly-scrolling through his messages: stopping on the ones that I assumed he was looking for. "No, we got a Distress Signal to come help him here." he said, making my brows furrow in confusion: I didn't get any text or 'Distress Signal' from Eric, let alone one saying that he needed help: which honestly kind of pissed me off, all things considered. Before I could open my mouth to reply to that, my sensitive ears caught a barely-audible 'scrape': causing my head to perk up and refocused my attention to the left and upwards, spotting Eric's large shape somehow perched on top of the fence.
However, instead of being dressed as 'The Grand Wizard' like I'd expected him to be: he was now dressed as a weird hybrid between a human, and (what looked like) a racoon. Complete with short, tawny ears, dark brown mask with big, bushy, black eyebrows, a short, light-brown snout with a black shiny nose, sharp metal claws on his bare fingers and a ringed, fluffy tail attached to his belt: I couldn't help but assume he was trying to cosplay as a half-assed Furry. Biting down on my lower lip to keep from laughing out loud at the hysterical mental image, I took in the rest of his new costume: and couldn't help but think he had taken a page or two out of Mysterion's book.
Dressed in a dark-blue and white, long-sleeved shirt, dark-blue jeans and a bright-red cape: I raised an eyebrow at the large, black 'C' that had taken up the majority of the white portion of the middle of his shirt. Holding his cape to his shirt's collar, were a pair of circular, golden clasps that damn-near blinded me as the sunlight reflected off of them: which had the same effect with the several other golden cylinders as well as a large, flat, golden buckle on his belt. Noticing my gaze, he narrowed his own into a glare: silently warning me to keep my mouth shut as he nearly lost his balance: losing his 'badass' position as I sent him an amused smirk of my own before humoring him, turning my attention back to my friends and doing as he wanted. 'This'll be good.' I thought, wondering just what the hell he was doing, but wasn't going to call him out to my friends for two reasons, one: I knew he'd bitch and moan for hours at me for 'ruining the surprise' and two: I was curious to see where he was going with this, though I had a feeling he was trying to copy either Mysterion or myself: which would honestly be funny as shit…considering he definitely was NOT built for it.
Crossing my arms over my chest, I watched the boys glance at Clyde as he put his phone away: only to look around in confusion as Eric apparently decided that that was the perfect time to pounce. "BRRRZZZZTTT!" he buzzed, trying very hard to mimic a loud electrical noise as he landed in a crouch in front of us: drawing both curious and exasperated looks from the boys around me: Alex included. "THE WIZARD IS GONE!" he growled: confirming my suspicions that he was trying to copy Mysterion, only putting WAY too much thought and effort into his voice: making him sound a cross between deep-throating a microphone and getting a vasectomy…which absolutely horrified me that of ALL things: my brain went with THAT! 'Jesus Christ…somebody kill me!' I thought in despair, trying very hard to ignore both the new mental image, and the hundreds of shrieking voices that would happily oblige with my request.
"My name is 'The Coon', I'm from the future!" he continued, effectively gaining my attention away from the cringe-worthy descriptions that were coming to mind out of seemingly-nowhere and didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon…guess that sickness really DID fry my brain…lovely. "Dude, we said we're not playing that anymore." Craig deadpanned, drawing a pair of confused looks from Alex and I: and a heated glare from Eric, who didn't look pleased in the least at that particular response. "Yeah, we're all split up, what's the point?" Clyde added, drawing our attention to him as he sheathed his wooden sword into his belt.
"Wait a minute. Playing what? You guys were playing something else while we were doing this?" I asked, turning to Kyle as he shook his head. "This was after we finished 'The Stick of Truth'. We couldn't decide what to play next, so Cartman suggested we play 'Superheroes'. Sorry about not asking if you guys wanted to join us, Saphira: we thought you didn't want to play, we didn't know you were sick and Alex didn't want to play without you." Kyle explained, and it suddenly made a whole lot of sense: though I was a bit annoyed that they didn't even think to ask me if I wanted to join in with them. Then again, I'm partners with Mysterion: and we already do the 'Superhero' thing almost every night anyway, speaking of which…"And how exactly does Mysterion feel about all of this? Can't say he'd be too happy about you guys essentially taking over his job." I questioned, confused that the vigilante would even allow it, especially considering how sketchy the town tended to get at night: especially recently.
"Myst-oh! He was in on it, too: but he got really pissed off at Cartman for not letting him have his own movie in his 'Superhero Franchise' idea, so he took off with the rest of the guys and formed their own group at Token's house: its been kind of a feud between us ever since." Kyle explained, sending a sharp 'pang' of hurt through me: we were supposed to be partners…and he goes off and forms his own group without even telling me? Now I felt betrayed, suddenly knowing why he never once came to visit me when I was practically-dying in my bed for the past two days. 'You and I need to have a chat when I see you, 'partner'.' I thought, clenching my teeth and nodded curtly at Kyle's reply: cutting off our conversation before I said something nasty, turning my attention back to Eric instead: who didn't appreciate being interrupted by my questions.
"Are you pussies FINALLY done interrupting me?! You're ruining my fucking epic dialogue!" Eric snapped, seemingly wanting to continue his rant: but seemed to wisely reconsider it as I met his glare with my own, vibrant, orange one: showing him I was NOT in the mood for any of his shit today. "Anyway! Now that you finally shut the fuck up: THIS IS THE POINT!" he continued, pulling a 'Missing' poster of an elderly cat that looked as if the poor thing received a bash to the head too many: even had the name 'Scrambles' to add further insult to injury. Poor thing. 'And $100 as a reward? If I lost one of my pets, I'd be beside myself trying to find it: hopefully that's all the owner can afford.' I thought, tearing my gaze from the poster and back to Eric as he started talking again. "In my time, there's a massive Crime Wave and missing cats! I knew my only hope was to assemble the Team." he said, apparently wanting to say more: if the Lead Moorish behind him didn't stomp forward with an angry glare on his face.
"Hey! You can't switch games like this! Where's The Stick of Truth?!" he yelled, causing Eric to glance over his shoulder at him with annoyance, before turning on his heel and shoving the poster in his face: pointing at it aggressively with a claw to emphasize his point. "Shut the fuck up, Kevin! Nobody cares about some dumb Stick! There's a cat in trouble, and it's the key to finding the Crime Syndicate new to our town! In the future." he continued, backing off and out of the other boy's face and returned to his original spot: holding up the poster for all of us to see, as if we hadn't taken a good enough look at it yet. "Oh, you mean like Blackwatch and Gentek coming by for beer and snacks like they're enjoying a nice vacation? All you had to do was text me and I'd have this shit taken care of in an hour. Or did you forget that little tidbit from the other day?" I said, sarcasm dripping off every word as the boys behind me shared glances with each other in a mix of confusion and wariness: as if they expected me to either be joking or to transform and go on a rampage.
"Being a monster doesn't count, MacManus! How do I know you didn't come to the future and started running the Syndicate yourself?! Sure have plenty of reason and means: what's to stop you from using those crazy, bloodthirsty monsters of yours to control the town?! Sure as shit didn't have a problem with it before, and I haven't even SEEN you in the future! Seems pretty god damn convenient, don't you think?" he spat back, trying to get a rise out of me to prove his point: joke's on him, that 'pet name' is getting really old, really fast and was very quickly losing its…charm: if it even had any at all. "That's because I was sick from that green, alien shit that Clyde got ahold of: you'd know this if you even bothered to text me and ask how I was doing when I never showed up to play with you guys. And I don't even know where those Hunters even went after I sent them after the stragglers, though considering the lack of panic: they're not busying themselves picking their teeth with anyone's bones, so you should consider that a blessing. And if you think you can bully me by calling me a monster: save your breath, I know what I am: you know what I am, so get over it before I kick your ass. There's NOTHING you can say, that'll give you power over me, Cartman." I growled, nearly-missing the contemplative look in his eyes before he let out an obnoxious 'scoff': turning to Clyde as he took off his helmet and began nervously playing with it in his gloved hands, not reacting to the tense environment very well.
"'Crime Syndicate'? That sounds too heavy for 'Coon and Friends'." Clyde said, making me raise an eyebrow at him, before sending a flat look at Eric at the mention of the name: before shaking my head with a heavy 'sigh', not even surprised by the name: as narcissistic as Eric was turning out to be, literally everything had to involve him in some way or other. "Well, what do you want, Clyde?! You want the fucking 'Freedom Pals' to find the missing cat?! To get the $100 reward, and make their Superhero Franchise more popular?!" Eric snapped, causing poor Clyde to back down and seem as if he wanted to hide behind his helmet, while Kyle glared over at Eric and aggressively pointed at him like he was ready for a fight: a complete one-eighty from his docile stance a few minutes ago. "Fuck the Freedom Pals, dude." Kyle stated, causing a smirk to appear on Eric's face as Alex and I shared wary looks: as we definitely weren't used to people being so…hateful to those who were supposed to be your friends. "That's right." Eric smirked, straightening his stance and prepared to continue his rant: only to pause in aggravation as his mom opened the sliding glass door, drawing the attention of everyone in the backyard.
"Poopsiekins! There's a loud 'ringing' coming from your 'Basement Playroom'!" she called, causing Eric's ears to burn dark-red at the name: which spread to his face as I started laughing as soon as Mrs. Cartman retreated back inside. "Shut the fuck up, MacManus!" he snarled, trying VERY hard to look threatening: which was only about as scary as a pissed off pug dog. "'Poopsiekins'?! And you're making fun of MY name?!" I wheezed, leaning on Alex to keep from falling over as the others joined in on the snickering: which didn't do Eric's pride any favors. "Fuck off, you stupid bitch! 'Coon Friends'! You heard 'The Coon Alert'! Go get your stuff and meet back at 'The Coon Lair'! I-In the future!" he ordered, roughly shoving past me as I started to get a grip on myself just enough for me to wipe my tears away and see Kyle, Craig and Clyde shed their armor and take off through the door as soon as Eric's words registered in their heads, like it was some sort of big emergency: cueing the sound of the front door slamming shut several seconds later.
"COON AND FRIENDS, ASSEMBLE!" Jimmy cried, shoving past the boys that were holding him hostage and made his way after the other three at a much-slower pace, leaving the rest of us to stand around the yard and contemplate what exactly just happened. "Sorry guys, you can't play with us! We're playing 'Superheroes' now, aaand you guys are dorks!" Eric said, flipping me off as I stuck my tongue out at him: because jokes on him, again…I didn't NEED to actually 'play' and Anti-Heroes didn't need a Team. With that in mind, I composed myself and stood up straight: giving Alex a much-needed bit of relief from having to hold me upright for as long as he did. Looking around the backyard: I took in the dejected looks on the other boys' faces and wanted absolutely-zero part in cleaning up the absolutely massive mess that was left behind.
"What do you think, want to go after them?" I asked my brother: who cocked an eyebrow at me like I was an idiot for even asking that question. "I thought so, c'mon." I said, sending the other boys an apologetic look before turning around to follow after my friends: only to pause in my steps as they started having a conversation of their own. "Who needs those guys, anyway? We can make up our own Superhero game! Like…umm…uh…I don't know." the Moor in the forest-green sweater and curved horns on his helmet suggested, only to have that idea shot down by his friend in dark-blue and orange. "My parents don't believe in synthetic fabrics, so…that kinda rules out all the best superhero outfits." he said, drawing the attention of 'Kevin': who wiped the dejected look off his face and turned to us with an excited expression. "You guys wanna go play 'Star Trek'? I'm Spock!" he called, drawing the attention of the other two immediately.
"I'm Captain Kirk!" "I'm Scotty!" the boys shouted at the same time, claiming their characters' roles before the other tried to steal it. "What about you guys? Wanna come too?" Kevin asked, turning to us with a hopeful look on his face: only to nearly wilt in disappointment as I shook my head at the offer. "No thanks, I've already got one Tribble." I replied, resting my elbow on Alex's head: laughing as he tried in vain to swat me away and keep me from doing embarrassing 'Big Sister' shit to him. "Y-You're a-HEY! I'm trying to talk to the girl! You guys! Quit it!" Kevin yelped, being forcefully shoved through the door by his friends before he could even try to have a…(fanboy?) conversation with me, especially once he realized I was what they called a 'Trekkie' and wasn't afraid to admit it: since it was one of the only good things I was exposed to in my confinement…and that was when they were feeling VERY generous: which wasn't often.
As soon as they were gone, I led the way into the house: wiping my feet as soon as I spotted Mrs. Cartman washing the piles of dishes stacked in the sink. "Hi, Mrs. Cartman." I greeted, smiling at my brother as he lifted his hand in a shy wave: glad to know he was slowly opening up to the people around us. "Oh hello, dear! The boys are down in their little basement playroom if you'd like to join them." she replied, sending me a smile as I bid her 'thanks', before returning to the dishes: allowing Alex and I to walk past her and into the hallway and over to the basement door. Walking over to the door, I spotted (what used to be) a calculator that had been duct-taped to the wall, with several wires protruding from it and attaching themselves to the door. 'Looks like they made a combination lock out of it.' I thought, glancing down at Alex and almost saw the wheels turning in his head: knowing he'd come to the same conclusion as I had, and just as quick.
"Think you can crack it?" I asked, drawing his focused attention away from the calculator and over to me: taking a couple seconds to adjust his scarf around his face before nodding. "Maybe. Its no 'Guillotine', but I think so: they've got a lot of weird stuff written here." he replied, causing me to ease around the flower vase and glance over the space between his neck and shoulder in order to see the words written on the buttons: and Alex was right, there was a lot of random shit written there: but regardless of that, Eric's little calculator lock was no match for my brother. "Let me see if I can find the combination while you try to get it open, doesn't hurt to have the code in case there's an alarm." I said, stepping away from the door and giving him space: turning my attention back to Mrs. Cartman as she leaned around the corner while pulling out the broom from a hallway closet and started sweeping.
"Oh, did you two get locked out? I'm afraid little Eric put a lock on the door to keep ME out! I'm sure he has the passcode around here somewhere." she said, giving me all the hints I needed: for as 'smart' as Eric thought he was, he was predictable: and there was only ONE place he'd keep anything of importance. With that in mind, I thanked her and headed into the living room: trying very hard not to snicker as I heard the calculator 'talking' in a distorted female voice for each button pressed, and Eric yelling at Alex from downstairs each time he got the combination wrong: makes me wonder just how the hell Eric knew which one of us was pushing the buttons.
'You know what, I'm not sure I want to know.' I thought as I headed up the stairs and stopped outside his door: suddenly feeling an uncomfortable amount of dread, considering his personality…I'm not so sure I wanted to know what the combination was, and while I could probably pick that lock: it would make me feel a whole lot more…normal if I didn't. With that in mind, I shook off the feeling, kicked myself in the ass, and opened the door: hoping that I wouldn't end up regretting it…but my instinct told me that deep-down…I would be, very shortly.
