After checking the doorframe for any traps, I cautiously lifted a foot and stepped inside: finding Eric's room to be…not what I expected. From the purple walls, to the brown carpet: Eric's room was so…basic, and not at all filled to the brim with things he considered to be 'trophies' or any other items that would boost his ego: thank god. Paying no mind to his computer, I stepped around a toy truck and approached his toy box: curling my nose at the scent of stale, fried chicken: spotting the abandoned bucket of KFC on the floor next to a lawn chair and an expensive-looking telescope.

'Honestly, Eric.' I thought tiredly, shaking my head in exasperation, before turning my attention back to the toy box: finding a bunch of random toys, (and a very-questionable female doll with a nametag tied around its neck) but not the passcode I was looking for. "Ha! 'Polly Prissypants'?! What the hell?" I snickered to myself, reading the doll's nametag before closing the lid: leaving everything as I found it before opting to check under his bed and (with the exception of several random articles of clothing and dust bunnies) found nothing of interest. When I stood back up, however: a corner of something hidden behind his bedside lamp caught my eye.

Paying no mind to the photo of a red-haired boy on the dartboard, his 'Grand Wizard' hat or his 'Mr. T' poster, I reached behind the lamp and pulled out a small, red notebook that had been turned into a journal (judging by the black and blue crayon): though Eric seriously needed help with his grammar…that wasn't how you spelled 'journal'. 'Well…here goes nothing.' I thought, the feeling of dread coming back with a vengeance, and with VERY good reason.

"What…the-" I barely-managed to get out, nearly throwing the book across the room before feeling the intense need to either bleach my eyeballs, or rip them out entirely: I had a feeling Eric was sick in the head, but this…this was not okay! By ANY means. In addition to random things like tickets to movies and a Christmas wish list: he had drawn (actually fucking DRAWN) our friends in very…VERY sexual positions, to the point where they were literally fucking each other: they were mostly of Kyle, Craig and Butters (who was also drawn fucking Kyle's mother): but one page in particular, ironically also had the words 'Beware! Do not open! Coon Only': which meant it held the passcode I was looking for, also had a very cringe-worthy section of me on the next page…in a god damn orgy with literally all of my friends: himself included! He even had the fucking HUNTERS in on it!

"NO! No! ABSOLUTELY NOT! Fuck this shit! Wie kannst du es wagen, davon zu träumen, dass ich mit allen ein Fickfest habe?! Das ist auf so vielen Ebenen falsch, was zum Teufel, Cartman?!" I shrieked, not even realizing I had switched my language to German during my incredulous rant. Quickly deciding to bleach my eyeballs after I was done throwing up, I practically tore open the flap containing the passcode 'FukYouMom' before slamming the vile book shut with all the force I could manage. With an angry snarl, I grabbed the book and stormed out of the room and back down the stairs: for there was no way in HELL I was going to let him walk away without an explanation for this, and I'll be damned if he tries.

As soon as I spotted Mrs. Cartman sitting on the couch, I turned my head away: not wanting her to see my orange eyes as she spoke on the phone. "Yes officer. Somebody appears to have put lava in front of my door." she said, apparently reporting the mass of LEGO bricks on the front step to the police: and while I liked her, if she wasn't able to figure out the little plastic bricks were harmless…well: that just proved she wasn't very bright. "Well-no, its not hot: but…my son told me that I 'would burn to death' if I try and cross it." she continued, not paying me any mind as I walked past her and over to Alex: who was still trying to crack open the lock, looking more and more annoyed each time he failed. "Uh-huh…oh yes…it won't? I see, thank you for your time." she said over the course of a few minutes before hanging up: probably being told she was an idiot by the cops.

"Your eyes are orange again, why are they orange?" Alex asked, bringing me back to the situation at hand: causing me to tighten my grip on the journal in my hand as a result. "Something that I'm going to kick Cartman's ass to oblivion for, don't ask. You get the door open yet?" I questioned back, hating how short I was being with my brother: but definitely didn't want him around when the fatass and I had our little 'chat'. "I know the code, but he still yells at me and won't open the door. Keeps saying that its 'cheating' if you didn't find the code." he replied, causing me to glare at the door and honestly wouldn't be surprised if there was a camera hidden somewhere. "I've got the code. Move over." I said, and my little brother knew very well not to question anything I told him when I was pissed off: especially considering that the things I said were in his best interest the majority of the time.

Not needing to be told twice, he stepped back with his hands in surrender: not wanting to further aggravate me and let me have full access to the calculator lock. 'You'd BETTER open up, you son-of-a-bitch: or I'm breaking this door down.' I thought with a snarl, punching in the correct buttons in the appropriate order: feeling Alex's stare burning holes through my back and silently warning me not to do anything stupid the first chance I got. "Fuck…You…Mom." the feminine voice drawled, which shockingly: got no rise out of Mrs. Cartman, who was sitting not ten feet away and there was no way she DIDN'T hear it. As soon as the door let out a pleasant 'beep', I practically yanked the door off its hinges and stormed down the stairs: only to pause halfway down as the voices of my friends caught my attention.

"Maybe we should go to Raisins and see if the waitresses know anything." I heard Clyde say from somewhere downstairs: only his voice sounded different, distorted: as if he were trying to talk while pinching his nose shut. 'The hell?' I thought, creeping further down the stairs and took in the sight that had become of Eric's basement: and the new costumes my friends were currently wearing. In addition to the string of red lights coiled around the handrail, the entire basement had been turned into a 'Secret Base' that definitely fit the theme of Eric's costume: with raccoon-themed logos, vehicles, a 'costume shop' and other miscellaneous items scattered throughout the basement: including a party table that could easily fit a party of ten, baring the black and white 'Coon and Friends' logo in the middle.

The majority of the seats were empty, the only ones occupied were taken by Eric at the Head (don't know why I expected different), Craig and Jimmy at the end of the left side, and (who I assumed to be) Clyde and Kyle on the right: however, I was unable to confirm who was who due to their backs facing me. Ignoring the rest of the cardboard items scattered to the sides for now, I stepped aside as Alex crept down behind me: allowing him to listen in on their conversation with me. "That's not enough, Mosquito! We have to act fast before the Freedom Pals can! A hundred dollar reward! Do you know what that could mean to our Superhero Franchise?!" Eric said, holding up the missing poster again and pointing to the reward amount with a claw: either not noticing or not caring that we were pretty much eavesdropping from the staircase.

'Absolutely nothing.' I thought, knowing that a measly hundred dollars will do absolutely nothing to help anyone in the making of an actual movie: a little skit, maybe: but an actual movie? The only good a hundred dollars would do is buy lunch for the cast…especially if they wanted to make a movie that rivaled Marvel or DC: the intro alone would be worth more than that, easily. "That cat looks pretty old, maybe it just died in the gutter somewhere." Kyle suggested, revealing he was one of the ones whose features I couldn't see, and though I couldn't make out his entire costume from here, it was easy to point him out by the large, red and yellow kite on his back. "Human Kite, do I have to remind you, that as of right now Freedom Pals have a hundred followers on Instagram?! We have six! The five of us and Billy Turner: who's a Ginger. THIS is the key to finally beating those fuckers!" Eric replied, announcing that Kyle's new superhero name was 'The Human Kite': an easy enough name to remember and was pretty self-explanatory.

"But where do we start looking? That cat could be a-anywhere?" Jimmy said, who was also easy to spot from his position next to Craig: considering his costume consisted of a bright-yellow, long-sleeved shirt with a yellow lightning bolt that was outlined in red on his chest and a pair of red, gaming headphones on his head with another pair of yellow lightning bolts taped to the earmuffs. Glancing at Eric, we watched as he held his chin in his claws for several seconds before jumping down from his chair: drawing the attention of the rest of the boys at the table.

"We'll need to split up! Mosquito! Take to the air and check out all the city parks!" he said, cueing Clyde to jump down from his chair: allowing me to see the rest of his costume, and couldn't help but appreciate his originality. True to his name, he was dressed as close to a mosquito as he could get: wearing a dark-blue hoodie with a brown mosquito with red eyes sewn to the bottom right pocket, four plastic wings strapped to his back, a bandoleer of ketchup packets wrapped around his chest, red gloves and a light-brown and red-striped beanie on his head: he had a pretty elaborate costume, especially once I saw the large, red, plastic horn that had been tied around his head and rested over his nose.

'Well, that explains his pinched-off voice.' I thought, wondering how he was able to breathe with it on: but he seemed to manage it just fine. "Bzzz, you got it! Mosquito away! Bzzz, Bzzz!" he replied, buzzing like a bug as he gave my friends a little 'spin' before running up the stairs: making Alex and I flatten ourselves against the wall in order to avoid being tackled by 'Bug Boy'. "Human Kite! See if the cat is stuck up a tree somewhere! You've got the storm drains, Super Craig!" Eric ordered, smirking in satisfaction as Kyle and Crag got down from their seats and headed for the stairs: allowing me to see their costumes too, making me also appreciate Kyle's creativity he put into his costume, Craig's…not so much. Also true to his name, Kyle had switched his previous costume for a sleeveless cyan shirt with wide, pointy shoulder-pads, a light-grey hood over his curly, red locks and a diamond-shaped kite on his chest, a roll of kite-string looped around his waist, cyan pants, and a yellow and red diamond-shaped kite on his back.

'Hopefully he doesn't trip over that tail.' I thought, taking in the long, bow-covered tail that was attached to the end of the kite, and hoped he wouldn't trip over it or get it stuck anywhere: because I knew that long items weren't your friend in any combat situation, as they could be used as handholds for the enemy and used against you. Craig's costume (if you could call it that) was nothing more than a piece of computer paper with a large red 'S' painted on it taped to his regular clothes: proving he either didn't have any imagination, or was too lazy to come up with an actual costume: the name 'Super Craig' also didn't help with that conclusion. "Whoooo!" "Super Craig!" the boys called at the same time, both sounding unenthusiastic: but humored Eric with the bare-minimum effort. Standing aside to let them pass, Craig didn't bat an eye at our presence, though I saw him glance up at us when we first entered the basement. Kyle however, was nice enough to glance over at us and sent me a grin as he past by: sending a hidden 'Good luck' in that small smile, though it wouldn't be me who needed it in the next few minutes, but I appreciated it regardless.

"Fastpass! I need you to use your superhuman speed to get to the Mayor's Office and tell her we're on the case!" Eric ordered, gesturing to Jimmy with a claw as soon as he maneuvered around the end of the table: causing me to frown at the fact that Eric ironically appointed Jimmy with having 'superhuman speed', but decided to let it go: at least he was being nice enough to let the crippled boy join in on the game, instead of denying him the chance of playing with the rest of the boys. "D-Don't worry, Coon! You can count on F-F-Fastpass! To get there f-f-f-fast!" he stuttered, holding up his crutches with a concentrated look on his face: as if he believed he was about to turn into 'The Flash' and zip across town and to the Mayor's Office at the speed of sound: before lowering them back to the floor and made his way over to the stairs at his normal pace.

"'Scuse me." Jimmy said, politely asking us to stand aside and let him pass and follow the rest of the boys upstairs: muffling a curse or two as soon as he discovered someone shut the door on him. Nudging Alex in the side, I 'jerked' my head in the direction of the table and led the way into the basement: marching straight over to Eric as Alex took in the decorations and other cardboard items of their base up close. Walking up behind Eric, I took notice of the fact that his red cape reached the back of his knees and had a large, black 'C' that was outlined in white covering a large portion of the fabric: which would be pretty easy for him to trip over if he actually had to do any running or climbing like Mysterion and I did. With an irritated scowl on my face, I watched as he typed into a cardboard box with an iPad taped to it as if it were a Super Computer: which, in his mind, it probably was: even gave it the name 'Data 9000'.

"Super Craig! Super Craig, this is Coon! Do you copy? Super Craig, the fuck are you?! I repeat! The fuck are you, Super Craig?!" Eric called, trying to connect a 'Facetime' chat with Craig, but wasn't receiving an answer: making a small, satisfied smirk stretch across my face. Tapping him twice on the shoulder, I only had a second to react as soon as he glanced over his shoulder to address the interruption. "Boo!" I shouted, splitting my face into a wide, toothy grin as he stumbled back into the cardboard box, tripping over his tail and nearly toppled over: glaring hatefully at me as I started laughing, the first part of a very bad day…for him.

"Oh great! Now the 'Security System' isn't working? Dude, what the fuck?! Who let these 'Ordinary Citizens' into The Coon Lair?! Listen, MacManus: we're all 'Superheroes' and you and Douchebag aren't so you can't hang out with us! Please do us all a solid, and fuck off, okay?" he said, pointing up towards the stairs in order to 'show us out': making me meet his glare with my own, glowing-orange one: watching him grit his teeth and glance around me to see what Alex was doing in order to subtly break eye-contact: I, however: wasn't about to let him off so easily. "First of all, dipshit: don't call my brother a douchebag! He has a name: call him by it! Secondly: you and I need to have ourselves a little chat." I growled, paying no mind to the sound of Jimmy as he continued to struggle to open the door with his crutches on from the top of the stairs.

"And what could you POSSIBLY want to talk about with a Hero like me? In case your 'Cooties' are making you blind, MacManus: I'm superhuman! I don't chat with ordinary bitches like you! And stay the fuck away from me! You're infected: I don't want any of your 'Girl Cooties' anywhere near me!" he spat, moving to turn away from me and give me his back: only to pale as I held his journal level with my head in plain view: spine bent and wrinkled from my firm grip. "What the fuck?! That's my journal! Give that back! Who the fuck gave you permission to touch my shit?!" he snarled, making to snatch it away from me: only for me to hold it out of his reach, and holding his angry and embarrassed look with my own, VERY unamused one.

"So…now that I have your…'undivided' attention, just who the FUCK do you think you are?! How DARE you draw me in such provocative positions, and with our fucking FRIENDS, no less! Let me make one thing VERY clear to you, Cartman: I am NOT that kind of girl, I will never BE that kind of girl, and if I ever find out that you're fantasizing me in that way in any way, shape or form again…I will rip it off and make you eat it. Do I make myself clear?" I snarled quietly, not even needing to raise my voice: my glowing orange eyes and tone spoke louder than any raised voice ever could, and judging by the sweat that was starting to form on his hairline and barely-noticeable 'trembling' of his shoulders: he understood every single word.

"Tch, whatever, bitch! Now give me my fucking journal and get the fuck out of here! You already contaminated the base, do you know how fucking long its going to take me to clean and disinfect all this shit?! I better not have gotten any on me!" he ranted, covering up his fear by trying to chase us away, only to let out a drawn-out 'growl' as neither of us made any move to comply with his request. "Phase Three." I stated, feeling a smug smirk slowly stretch across me face: knowing I had him in a position he couldn't refuse, not like he was going to have much of a choice if I had anything to say about it, anyway. "What are you talking about NOW?! Can't you see I have important 'Superhero' shit to do?!" he whined, desperate to make us leave: but also knew he wouldn't be able to do anything if he tried.

"I said: 'Phase Three', 'Intro a Chick': you know, the part of your 'Franchise Plan' that has a female lead: and I don't know about you…but I very highly-doubt that you'll be able to find any girl willing to accept that role that's willing to put up with your bullshit. So either someone is going to cross-dress again: OR you planned to have me join in the game from the very beginning, regardless. Now, either you're embarrassed to ask, or you were afraid of being rejected: either way is cute…to think you have to resort to ass-kissing to appeal 'cool enough' to the New Kids so we would be friends with you: when all you had to do was ask." I explained, feeling my smirk turn into a full-blown grin as his ears turned red, while trying very hard to ignore me: though he was no match for my reverse-psychology: especially when he realized how close to home I apparently hit.

"How the fuck did you even-UGH! Alright alright, look: you can WATCH us play Superheroes as long as you don't get in the way! Make yourselves useful and go grab me the 'Stafernisy Device', its over there." he dismissed, turning his back to me and resumed messing with the iPad: completely-ignoring us in favor of looking over files that apparently contained detailed 'dossiers' of the rest of his Team. Turning away from him, I ignored the dog kennel labeled 'Coon holding cell' and walked around the table, past the 'Big Wheel' that had been modified into some kind of 'Coon-themed, Bat-Mobile' and over to Alex: who was waving me over to the back wall of the basement and pointing at something he'd found inside an open-ended cardboard box that was sitting next to a pair of inflatable animals (a tiger and an alligator): apparently serving as 'training dummies'. However, before I took a look at what he found, a 'Rubix Cube' resting on a stool that had been covered under a glass, cake lid (complete with a Red Alert light duct-taped to the top) with a flashlight shining down on it, caught my attention.

'Oh lovely…more things I want nothing to do with.' I thought, remembering the dozens of Cubes and other puzzles that my…'Caretakers' had me solve in Timed Trials as a 'Test of my Intelligence'. Taking a closer look at the puzzle, I saw it had a large sign written on a sheet of yellow construction paper that read 'Danger! Do not touch!': which obviously was supposed to be some kind of 'extremely-dangerous weapon', even though the puzzle itself was harmless. 'Wonder if he'll have an aneurism?' I wondered, sending a playful 'wink' at Alex: who rolled his eyes at me, but motioned for me to go along with it: clearly just as curious of Eric's reaction as I was. With a sly smirk, I lifted a gloved hand and gave the glass an experimental 'poke' that was just hard enough to rattle the contents: drawing Eric's attention immediately, looking a cross between fearful and angry as he ran over to us with the best of his ability.

"H-Hey! Hey! HEY! DO NOT TOUCH THAT! That device could blow up the ENTIRE Milky Way Galaxy! JESUS FUCK! MOM! The New Kids are trying to play with the 'Cube of Ultimate Destruction'!" he yelled, looking every bit as pissed off as I'd thought he'd be, didn't expect him to complain to his mom though. "You be nice to ALL your friends, Eric! Be a Good Sharer!" she called back, just loud enough for him to hear as Jimmy FINALLY managed to get the basement door open: after I was starting to consider going up there and opening it myself. "'Good Sharer'?! IT'LL BLOW UP THE FUCKING GALAXY! Stupid bitch. Look, we already told you, you can't play! You don't have a costume! You don't have any superpowers! Just go the fuck home, already!" he yelled, nearly blowing a blood vessel with the force of his yelling, making me surprised that he hadn't lost his voice yet: though if he kept that up, it wouldn't be long before he did.

"Freedom Pals are inviting people to join their Franchise! We should be adding people to o-o-o-ours!" Jimmy called, annoying Eric that he'd still hadn't left yet: his position up the stairs leaving him completely oblivious to the anger growing on his face. "These dorks?! Like, wearing a little crown and fucking hobo clothes?! Does that look like a 'Superhero' to you?!" he yelled, paying no mind to me as I glanced behind me to see what Alex was doing: only to spot him taking in the details of Eric's 'Franchise Plan' that had been messed with and crossed out several times: judging by the red marker smudges throughout the large 'message board'. "I can't tell if you're blind, or have REALLY bad short-term memory: I can shapeshift into anyone or anything I choose, once I consume it: and Alex can copy anyone's fighting style and has very good engineering and hacking skills. As for the costumes, I've got my body suit and there's literally several costumes to choose from on that rack right over there that'll fit him. Any more excuses?" I questioned, bringing his attention back to me as soon as Jimmy left: causing him to glare over me for several seconds, before turning away with a 'scoff' of annoyance.

"Yeah, like the fact that I still don't have my god damn Stafernisy Device! If you haven't found it by now, you can't use 'Inspection Mode'! Which is something ALL heroes can do, and if you can't even manage that: you can't play with us, so get the fuck OUT of here, already!" he snapped, making my ears start to hurt at his bitching: which was already grinding on my frayed nerves. "If it'll get you to FINALLY shut the fuck up and quit bitching, HERE! Now shut it!" I snapped back, summoning a tendril and sent it darting into the cardboard box with lightning speed, looping its bladed tip around the object Alex had pointed out (which was nothing more than a Pict-o-Gram) and flung it into Eric's stomach with lethal precision: too irritated to feel any amusement as it knocked the wind out of him as he struggled to catch it.

Watching him eye the Xenomorph tail wearily for several seconds, I decided the subtle reminder was enough and dismissed the writhing limb: sending it retreating back into the concealed body suit in a ripple of crawling biomass. "Well, that took you long enough! Stafernisy Device 'Active'! Beep! Pop! Beeeee!" he said, raising the Pict-o-Gram to his face and started playing with it for all of five seconds, before he carried it back over to the 'Super Computer' and set it down next to it: ignoring Alex and I as we followed after him, silently knowing that he'd changed his mind…after fighting with him for the better part of twenty minutes. "So…you REALLY want to be Superheroes, huh? 'Play with the Big Boys'? 'Sigh'…Well, maybe. MAYBE you two can be useful. MacManus, Douchebag: have a seat at the table." Eric said, looking utterly defeated at the fact that we were determined to play: and there would be nothing he could say that would convince us otherwise.

'If all it took for him to agree was to show him a tendril: why didn't I do that sooner?' I wondered, before remembering his reaction to my black panther form and knew why, and while I was a 'Stone's Throw' from kicking his ass at this point: I had no desire to scare him like that again…no matter how much of an asshat he was being. "About time, I was about to head over to Token's house and join Freedom Pals." I said, rolling my eyes as Eric met my gaze with a nasty glare: clenching his claws and letting out a hateful 'growl' at the mention of the 'enemy' Team as he stomped over to the table and retook his seat at the Head before scrolling through the files on the iPad again, completely-ignoring us in favor of whatever he was currently doing. 'Whatever happened between them, must have been brutal.' I noted, tearing my gaze from him and over to the table: preparing myself to be inducted into 'Coon and Friends', and hoped that (for Eric's sake) that I wouldn't end up regretting it.