Too Weak To Move
Everything felt sore. I wasn't sure if it was from walking with Lissa to see Jill or if it was from my confrontation with Adrian, but I was feeling each and every ache. The pull of the stitches on my chest was painful, feeling constricted each time I tried to breathe deeply.
Lowering to the bed, I hissed through my teeth, the sound becoming a groan. It was taking too much effort to stay standing, feeling the weight of everything hit me.
I wasn't running the high of being alive, or that I was with Dimitri anymore. Not even able to distract myself with Lissa or Adrian. Now, I was sitting alone with my thoughts, everything that I had been pushing to the back of my mind hit me.
I had died. Despite having somehow made it back, I was shot and died.
How has so much happened in just a few short weeks?
I've lost so much, and yet I did gain Dimitri back, first his soul and now his heart. Yet, I still felt an emptiness in me.
I was exhausted.
Ever so carefully, I reclined on the bed, half-heartedly trying to cover myself with the blanket as I curled up best I could. It was all too much effort, and the last I had was leaving me. I stared out the window of my room, not really seeing, not thinking either. I didn't have the strength to deal with things now.
Yet, my mind would wander back to the Council room. The sound of a gun going off echoed in my mind, the pain in my chest. The ghostly hands of death calling me back.
"Roza?"
My eyes focused. Dimitri was standing beside my bed, when my eyes flicked to his he crouched down.
"Are you okay? Do I need to get the doctor?"
I couldn't make my head move to respond to his question, shaking my head felt like too much. Eventually, I forced out a sound that may have been a word. His lips pressed together in a thin line, running a hand through my hair.
"Do you want me to lay with you?"
I hummed in affirmation. Though the sound was weak Dimitri understood. Somehow knowing I couldn't move myself, he carefully shifted me back so there was space for him on the bed. Kicking off his shoes, he climbed in beside me, pulling the blanket up to cover us both.
We laid on our sides, facing each other, his arm under my head as the other hand moved through my hair in a soothing motion.
When the first tear fell, Dimitri made a soft sound, not once stopping his calming motions. "It's okay, Roza."
I found the smallest amount of strength from his words and presence, moving my hand enough to press against his chest. I could feel his warmth and the steady beat of his heart. Focusing on the feeling of it and his fingers tracing along my skin, I gave in the pull of sleep.
With Dimitri, I could believe that soon, things will be okay again.
