=Nicole's POV=
(Saturday, 3/3/2018-9:15 pm)
(Archian Island, Berk)
(Strondsen Home)
Well, I had said it. I told Hunter that I love him, after telling him about my ex-boyfriend, Tristan, who had anally raped me less than a year ago. It would be a year come August 2018, but still; I'm not tragically damaged from what happened. It was scary and upsetting, but I understand that clearly Tristan got frustrated with me putting things off and admitting to being nervous; he didn't like that and didn't understand my wants in things. He was anger-driven and made his decisions to do what he did; he will be caught and have to pay for his crime. My only nervousness is being with a guy who gets angry or jealous easily; that's not Hunter, though. So if he and I end up having sex, as long as he takes it slow with me; I'll be okay and I'm sure it'll be an amazing experience. But I don't think we're quite ready to be sexually active yet, which is fine. Now, I'm wondering what Hunter will say to what I told him about loving him. Hunter hadn't said anything; he was quiet and staring at me with surprised and widened eyes.
"Wait, hold on…Back up. What did you say?" Hunter finally spoke as I breathed in relief. For a second I thought I was going to have to get my mom or dad and explain to them I put my boyfriend in a state of shock.
I smiled a little and giggled. "I said; I love you." I repeated for him, gently and my eyes never leaving his. I knew he was surprised that I said it, we'd been together for almost three months now and I admitted when we got together that I didn't know what love for lover felt like as I'd only had a crush on one guy, an infatuation with another, and obviously my recent ex; I liked him, but I don't think I loved him because what I feel for Hunter is a lot stronger than I did for Tristan. And I knew Hunter loved Ashley, but he confessed to feeling things for me much stronger than he did for her.
"Y-You love me?" Hunter asked.
I nodded to him. "You said you were going to show me the difference and you definitely have, Hunter. I know the love my parents give me, and I can see how if differs from the love you give me. And I know this is love because I haven't felt like this for any of the other guys I've been interest in or even with…I…" I paused, blushing a bit. "I knew it earlier than tonight, but I felt like it'd be a nice surprise to tell you on our shared birthday party." I smiled.
"Very nice surprise, and very welcome too." Hunter returned the smile as he cupped my cheek and kissed me deeply. "I love you, Nicole."
I kissed him back. "I love you too, Hunter." Gods, if felt so good to say. I knew it probably had to be awkward for Hunter to be telling me he loved me in messages or calls, but me never saying it back. I hadn't felt right saying it until I was sure, and I think Hunter appreciated that more because I wanted to be sure of my feelings before just spouting out the words without knowing fully. Now I did, and it felt great.
"I'm…Really happy you love me, Nikki. I really didn't think I could feel like this again after what happened with Ashley," Hunter confessed. "Not in the loving sense because I feel lover stronger for you than I did her. But the whole…Being happy with someone thing." He added.
"Don't worry, I understand. It's messed up how she led you on things were okay when they clearly weren't, left you suddenly, and never gave a real reason. If I ever happen to find out, I'll tell you. We don't have to tell her you know, but I know it would probably be some closure for you to know the truth." I stated.
"I mean, I'm over her…So not really closure." Hunter shrugged.
I shook my head to him. "Not like that, baby. Just the closure of knowing if it was something you did, or she honestly felt like things weren't working out anymore, maybe she just stopped reciprocating the feelings. I know having sex, or so I've heard, can change things. Maybe her feelings started to shift after the first time you did it. But that's what I meant by closure." I explained
"Oh…Ok, yeah. In that cast; I would like to know. Just so I don't go…Making another mistake. I…Don't want to lose you." Hunter revealed.
"As long as you're loyal, open, and not mean or forceful with me; I'm just about good with anything." I smiled. It was now that I saw Hunter's smile fall a bit and he glanced off to the side as if thinking about something deeply. "Is something wrong, Hunter?"
Hunter sighed, closing his eyes a moment and then looking at me seriously. "Actually…There is. I'm…Hiding something about me because I know what will happen if I tell everyone. But…I want to be honest with you about it because I know you'll understand." Hunter said.
"Okay…I'm listening." I invited him to continue.
"So you know how I told everyone this past Monday I was fine after the doctor's appointment?..." Hunter paused to see my reaction.
"Yes…You're not really fine, are you?" I asked.
Hunter shook his head to me, closing his eyes again. "No…" He said. "After telling your dad every-," I instantly looked at him. My dad?
"Wait. My dad?" I inquired to confirm.
Hunter nodded now. "My…Primary physician had an emergency that day; I wasn't informed until you dad strolled through the office door and told me he was filling in for my doctor's patients. Anyway…I told your dad everything I was experiencing, and…He said that my symptoms seemed to signal a cause for concern, and he wanted me to be seen by him at the hospital for tests to be done to confirm his suspicions. With my consent to be my doctor on the matter, I was seen on Thursday to have those tests run."
"Hold on just a second, just to make sure I'm following this right so far…" I stopped him gently. "You doctor had an emergency and my dad filled in, taking his patients that day?" Hunter nodded. "And you told my dad about all the fainting spells? But other symptoms you gave him turned into hospital tests that he oversaw?"
"Yes, that's right. I've been experiencing symptoms that I kind of put off as normal for working and playing basketball as much as I do since like, the end of October 2017. They seemed normal at first. I'll tell you them after…But after your dad had the tests run and we were sitting in his office at the hospital…He told me that there was indeed something wrong with me." Hunter informed.
I felt nervous, but I knew this was probably harder on Hunter to tell me. "A-And what was the…Diagnosis?" The concern and fear evident in my tone as I asked.
"I have a disease called Atrial Myxoma. It's…A noncancerous tumor growing on the upper left side of my heart." Hunter revealed as I felt my heart skip a beat and then drop into the pit of my stomach.
"Oh my Gods…Hunter. Baby, I'm so sorry." I instantly wrapped my arms around his midsection as he shifted his arm a bit to hold me back and kiss my forehead. "S-So what happens now? Treatments to shrink this, or make it go away?"
"Unfortunately…This tumor can only stopped one way, babe. By removing it through surgery." Hunter said.
"W-When is yours? Who is doing the surgery? My dad is one of the best heart specialists and surgeons around, talk to him and see if-," I started.
"I've already chosen your father as my doctor, for the time being, until all this is over. My surgery is, hopefully, going to be in June, after graduation." Hunter informed lightly.
I caught that hopefully remark. "Why do you say hopefully?"
"Nikki, the thing about this tumor is that at any time; piece could break off and go to my heart or brain…And kill me instantly." I gasped at his words.
"Then why isn't the surgery being rushed?!" I quickly questioned in shock, and fear.
"Because I asked to put it off," Hunter said as I pulled away slightly and stared at him. "Your dad and I are watching the tumor every week through tests. Basically sonogram, to make sure it's not getting worse and will require that immediate surgery to keep me from dying. Your…Dad thinks what I have might…Be what my mom had, because it runs stronger in women and if passed down, can show earlier in kids. I…Unfortunately, don't remember the official cause of death for my mom. I was too upset to even hear it when dad and Glenn discussed things after the autopsy report came in."
"Hunter…If you have what your mom had, you shouldn't be putting it off. Not to be that person here, and you know it's not to hurt you, but…" I paused.
"I know already, your dad said the same thing. The difference between my mom and me, is that I know what I have and it's being watched. My mom had no idea because it happened so quickly, for all we know; she had whatever she had for years and the symptoms didn't show until later and by the time they were recognized to be something more; it was already too late and…She just collapsed and died that night. I'm trying to get the information about what mom had without my dad knowing, for your dad to see if it's the same thing or not. I…Haven't told my dad, Glenn, or any of our friends about this. Right now; it's just you, me, and your dad. And…" Hunter paused. "I'd like to keep it that way."
I wasn't sure how to respond to that, but I nodded to him, as if to agree I wouldn't tell anyone. I could feel that Hunter wanted to keep things this way for a reason, and hopefully he'd tell me. I wasn't going to ride on him about how serious and dangerous this was; it's clear he knew. Hunter sighed softly. "Thank you. My reason for this is that if they find out about the tumor; they'll take away everything and force me to get the surgery right away. And I know they'd only do it for my own good, but babe…I don't want to get benched the rest of the year and miss my chance to get a scholarship. All I've ever wanted to do is play basketball through my schooling to become whatever it is I become. I've pretty much decided on Engineer. But doing surgery now stops all of that. I won't be able to play, I'd miss a bunch of school, my dad might even refuse to let me drive again…I told you want he did after the last fainting spell."
"Yeah, I remember…" I nodded gently. I knew how upset he was about that, and not being able to play. Playing basketball was one of Hunter's favorite things to do, and he'd be devastated if he suddenly couldn't over this. "I understand what you don't want to lose because of surgery, Hunter…But please try to consider that without this surgery…You could die, at any time, like you admitted to me that this tumor could cause."
"That's why I also said your dad is on board and we're going to watch things until June. And I agreed just tonight with your dad on that waiting period stipulation, that if things look worse in one of the tests before June's surgery date…I allow for the surgery to be done at the earliest it could be. So that's what we're doing. I'm gonna go every Friday to be tested and see what is going on with the tumor. If things look bad at any time and your dad feels my life is in jeopardy; the surgery happens as soon as it can be done. If things are okay until June, it happens the…Monday following graduation. Then I can use the summer to recover before college begins." Hunter explained.
"It still sounds really scary, Hunter…I don't want anything to happen to you." I admitted lightly, clearly scared. "But if my dad agreed to this, then he must think it will be alright to hold it off, and monitor if the situation changes or not." I sighed.
"And I promised him that I would report any new symptoms to him as well. He said I can just text him, or talk to him while I'm over here, or mention them at appointments." Hunter responded.
"Good…Don't hold anything back, Hunter…I mean it…" I almost wanted to cry. This scared me to no end. I really didn't want to see Hunter just drop one day, and then die before help could come and save him. That's what happened to his mom, so I hoped what he had was different.
"Don't cry…Please don't…I promise it'll be okay. Your dad and I are on this, and I swore I wouldn't be stubborn about things. I just don't want to tell our friends, or my family. I know how they are…They wouldn't understand the holding off thing. I know my life is more important, but…If there's no need to worry right now, then I can keep living my life as normal for the next two or three months." Hunter held me close as I kept it together.
"So…The fainting, that wasn't the only symptom to this…Atrial-whatever it was called?" I asked now.
Hunter shook his head. "No, the fainting was just the recent one. I've been dealing with other things since the end of November. It's bounced around to more serious stuff, but started as just fatigue, headaches, feeling a dizzy or lightheaded. Nothing that lasted long. It picked up later on to being worse in those, then joint pains and nausea. I got random chest pains, shortness of breath while lying down, uh…That blue-ish tinge on my fingers was part of it too. Heart palpitations was one of them….But nothing past the fainting spells, as of yet. Your dad said there could be more while I continue to deal with what I already have been." Hunter explained.
"All the stuff we saw, it was part of the…Uh…" I already forgot what it was called.
"Atrial Myxoma? Yeah. I'm not dealing with a lot of it now because your dad gave me some medications to lessen the symptoms, under the extreme reminder that they will not fix the problem, only alleviate the effectiveness of the symptoms." Hunter remarked lightly.
I nodded to him and rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. "I really hope everything is going to be okay, Hunter…What am I supposed to do if it gets brought up? You said not dealing with a lot, so the medications don't help everything you experience…"
"Play along with the idea you know nothing and attribute it to stress, even emotional stress because the anniversary of my mom is coming up." Hunter replied. I nodded again and held him as he embraced me tightly.
"Okay, okay…Let's…talk about or do something else. This…Whole thing has me freaked out and I need a distraction, please?" I asked him.
Hunter appeared to be thinking before he lightly held my chin up and looked in my eyes with a smile. "I love you, Nikki."
"I love you too, Hunter." I replied softly, then he leaned in and kissed me. It didn't take long for it to become deeper, more passionate, and then we were fully making out. I still worried about the tumor, but I guess this helped me relax a bit and knew my dad would take care of Hunter, so that set me at ease to enjoy this fully. I was really glad, despite the scariness of the information, that Hunter trusted me enough to tell me about his tumor. I felt a little odd that I was told, but he wouldn't tell his own father. But at the same time, I understood that if Spencer knew that Hunter had this, and it was what his mom did; Hunter was right, they wouldn't let him do anything until he agreed to get the surgery done. Technically, he did agree to do it, just on his terms, which my dad as his doctor, agreed to. But tonight…I just wanted to enjoy the rest of the night with my boyfriend, who I loved deeply, and stay with as long as we could.
