Ayumis first memory was of her elder brother's smile, the delight he'd taken in poking her chubby cheeks. He'd been fascinated by her, the only girl in the family and the youngest both. Her next memory was of her fathers funeral.

Ayumi had been raised by her brothers. Her mother had married over to another family to reduce the amount of mouths to feed for her oldest brother's warrior rations. She tried to come over to clean and cook on occasion, but that stopped when she grew too pregnant and never started up again when the pregnancy killed her and the baby before it was even born.

Ayumi had cried, heartbroken that their mother had left them as completely as their father. It was only her and her brothers then. The oldest, Arata and Keisuke, the youngest, Ayumi and Hayato.

Ayumi did everything she could to keep the house together. She figured out how to cook, how to wash, clean, and tried to smile whenever her brothers made it back. No matter how tired or hurt they were, as long as they were alive, Ayumi would smile. Arata always tried to console her when they left, promising that they'd be back because they'd protect each other.

She hugged each of them before they left and again when they came through the door. Except the last time, when another shinobi came instead to tell her all her brothers were dead. They'd died keeping the heir to the main family alive, protecting him instead of each other, and so Tajima Uchiha granted her a marriage with a member of the main branch in return for her brother's life saving grace.

Ayumi followed the shinobi to meet her new husband numbly. Still not quite able to believe that her entire family was gone.

She was the only one left.

Her new husband, Kenta Uchiha was a dour man, he'd already been married before her but no one said what had happened to his wife. At least his grandfather had the Sharingan, so maybe Ayumi would get lucky and raise a Sharingan warrior.

No one in her family line had activated their bloodline limit in more than three generations. But her line had been weapon based warriors regardless. Hayato used to brag about how much his shuriken tricks caught enemies off guard and Keisuke was unstoppable with a sword. Everyone said so-or at least they had, before her brothers died. Now there was no one left to teach any children Ayumi has Shiriken tricks or how to wield a sword.

Supposedly her husband should be able to teach them well-but the man barely acted like he remembered he was alive most days. They did their duty, and Ayumi became pregnant far too soon, she had no idea what she was supposed to do.

The answer delivered itself to the door in the form of an old lady, Nozomi Uchiha. Kenta's grandmother was still alive. She lived with his younger brother who was a Sharingan warrior in the field and could better afford to feed the old woman.

Nozomi was the closest thing Ayumi had to a mother figure after the death of her own. She was the one who taught Ayumi about life and what it meant to be a woman in the Uchiha Clan. It was Nozomi who explained that while the Liniages kept it quiet, many of their daughters became Kunochi, it was the only way to ensure an heir would have their dojutsu. Both parents had to have the Sharingan, and the easiest way to make that happen was to throw a few Uchiha women into combat.

It was kept mostly secret because the other women in the clan might get the bright idea that they could be kunoichi too, when the clan needed its breeding cows pliant.

That was exactly what Nozomi called non-Kunoichi women. They were simply there to breed more warriors for the battlefield. The term made her sick, mostly because she saw the truth to it. All Ayumi had to look forward to in life was having sons to send to the battlefield to die-she wouldn't even get any say in it because she'd simply be left to starve to death if she refused to have children with her husband. He'd trade her in for someone who would do their 'wifely duty.'

Nozomi herself was a Kunoichi who never activated her Sharingan, but she'd served long enough to qualify for the half rations the clan provided those chosen few that made it to an age of retirement. They would only provide them for ten years, so most shinobi that aspired to live a long life were advised to save their mission payments to make it later in life.

No one had ever advised her brothers to save up for retirement. But then no one but a shinobi from a lineage had any hope to retire.

It was sickening.

Nozomi told her Kenta had been over the moon for his Kunochi wife and wasn't taking her loss very well. Nozomi advised her to pry all the money she could from Kenta for when he inevitably decided he no longer wanted to live in a world without his love.

Ayumi did, making up expenses and excuses to ask for as much money as she could. She saw Nozomi again when she had her first child. Akihito was red faced and squealing, Ayumi didn't think she could love anyone more.

"Don't get attached," Nozomi cautioned, watching her with tired, tired eyes. "I've lost four sons to the battle field and this war shows no sign of ending. It's a hard truth, but a son is a necessity for this life, as much as the clan treats them like they're expendable. Love is not a luxury you can afford."

"But he's my son," Ayumi had protested. How was she not supposed to love him?

"I'm told you dearly loved your brothers, how did that work out for you?" Nozomi asked.

Ayumi flinched like she'd been struck-the gaping chasm in her heart surging forward and swallowing her new found affection for her child. She couldn't afford to make Akihito her world the way she had her brothers.

Not when he was destined for a battlefield that would take him from her, and not when Ayumi couldn't survive such a loss again.

It was hard to keep an emotional distance from her child. Nozomi helped, coming over to change him and play with the baby so that Ayumi didn't have to. She'd even distract Ayumi with weird gossip games. Giving her an excuse to leave the house and talk to other women in the clan. When Ayumi won the games she'd give her things Ayumi had never known she wanted, like fine Kimono, or make up. It felt good to look good, and Ayumi needed every good feeling she could get her hands on.

Nozomi taught her about the world, the ways it was outright cruel, the ways it pretended to be kind.

Her second pregnancy was harder than the first. She couldn't get around the clan as easily and she didn't want to invite over women that would be expecting her to be kinder to her son into her home. Ayumi had learned what little it took to get gossip going-she didn't want to be famous in the clan for being heartless.

Nozomi always advised her to eat well during pregnancy, preaching that a weak baby was a waste of resources and that she'd get more for her investment if she bore a strong warrior than a weak one. Nozomi, strangely enough, was not as indifferent to Ayumi's second child.

"He has his grandfather's eyes," Nozomi admitted when Ayumi asked about her fascination with her new child, she even insisted they name him Naoya. "I still miss the bastard, despite myself. I was going to keep taking missions until I either activated my Sharingan or got myself killed. Naoya was the one who saved me when the second option came too close to call. I only married him because he had the Sharingan and he was part of the Amaterasu lineage. I can't tell you I regret it, even with what it's cost me in life. That's why you have to fight so hard against sentiment, it's going to get to you regardless."

Ayumi had thought a lot about Nozomi's words. Especially after her grandson got himself killed on a mission that failed, so Ayumi didn't even have his last payment to work with. She had a decent nest egg that might see her children to the age where they became clan shinobi, but she knew the only reason her brothers had lived as long as they had was because her father had trained them all into the ground to survive and cover each other's weaknesses. No warrior could be expected to survive on their own.

Clan Policy under Tajima Uchiha, who had just been instituted and was doling out reforms, posited that brothers could no longer make up the same squad, so her sons wouldn't even have each other in the field. Their best bet to stay alive long enough to support her was to find a man who would be dedicated to their training.

As a widow of the Amaterasu lineage, Ayumi qualified to send her children to the training field in the Lineages new 'orphan home,' which was really a place where expendable children were trained to keep important lineage members alive, and while she knew losing her children to war was a cold inevitably of life-she had lost too much to Tajima Uchihas specifically, and she refused to lose her sons in an effort to keep his safe.

So Ayumi would have to get remarried.

She didn't have a hope in hell of getting another lineage husband, let alone one with a Sharingan-so for the survival of herself and her children she had to marry a senior shinobi that had grown up an orphan. They often struggled to get married as they couldn't afford a bride price, most of the money they made went into equipment to keep them around longer.

Ayumi found Hayate Uchiha, age twenty two, equipped with full body armor. The only thing he didn't have was a sword, but he had enough seniority to use those of the clan armory. By then Ayumi had gotten a job doing laundry for the main house, and could prove that she could feed the children she brought into a second marriage on her own. As his wife, Hayate was expected to provide her food regardless.

She made her proposal fairly transparent, stating that her sons had the possibility of developing the Sharingan so they might qualify for Sharingan warriors rations once they were older, and if nothing else they would become warriors as quickly as possible, she only asked that he vow to do his fatherly duty by them the way he would for any future children they had together.

Hayate had looked at Ayumi, in her best kimono with delicate makeup, and accepted eagerly.

She grew pregnant soon enough.

Their first child together was a daughter. They named her Akemi.

She looked like what Ayumi remembered of her own mother. She couldn't close her heart to her daughter at all. Surely it was okay if she loved her daughter-Uchiha women didn't leave the compound if they weren't Kunochi. Surely she could have a daughter to keep. Even Nozomi hadn't been able to argue her logic, simply sighing and lamenting that she'd never had a daughter of her own.

Daughters were supposed to be safe to love.

When Akemi died it felt like the world went with her. It was so hard to care about waking up in the morning. Even with two daughters left. Her daughters weren't whole anymore. She was missing her first.

Ayumi was trying. She didn't want to be a burden to her family. She had two grandchildren now, a beautiful pair of twins that needed her, especially because Ryota needed sons, so it was only a matter of time before he married again, no matter what he promised Akemi. Aiko was already taking care of the house, and now that Naoya had activated his sharingan they had enough food that neither of them had to work anymore.

And Akane, her poor wonderful Akane, had gotten hurt defending Tajima's spawn, but she'd survived. Her little girl and her fascination with the ninja arts that Ayumi would never be frustrated by again, not after they saved her life. Maybe Akane would like to show her nieces how to defend themselves when they had gotten a little older?

Just in case.

Not even home was safe.

Ayumi was trying.

But then Tajima decided that he'd take her daughter where the Senju blades failed. He bethroded her to his heir and then handed over a death sentence.

Ayumi started losing time.

She couldn't deal with anything anymore. She didn't notice when night turned to day, or when her clothes changed. She only knew her baby, her sweet loving Akane with Arata's smile, and all the love in the world to give, was going to die in the battle field.

She was going to die.

She would leave Ayumi the way everyone did, too soon, without rhyme or reason.

Her grief was soul deep. She couldn't even look at Akane anymore. She couldn't see her dead daughter walking around like she wasn't already gone.

Her grief was so deep it took her walking into Aiko kissing a woman in the kitchen to shock her back to the present.

She walked away just as quietly as she'd come in, making sure not to disturb the young women who had thankfully not noticed her entrance.

Ayumi sat in their backyard, vaguely remembering the construction of the empty chicken coop she found there, trying to put the pieces of the last few years together.

The blue haired woman kissing Aiko was familiar.

It took some time to remember why.

Naoya had brought home a wife, a glass blower from water country-there had been something about a workshop, Aiko had started to tell her about it several times before she caught herself. Ayumi was very clear she didn't want to see or hear about Akane, so it must have had something to do with her youngest. But she remembered there hadn't been a wedding, despite the only reason for the clan to offer a foreign woman a place was having a senior warrior desiring a marriage with them, so it might only be a matter of time.

Regardless, it was not proper to have relations with your brother's fiancee, but the rest of her family had ninja training-she doubted the two civilians were managing to keep their relationship a secret.

Ayumi was familiar with the existence of same sex relationships. Keisuke had never wanted a wife, instead he planned to invite his own lover, Yasuo, to live with their family once they were of marriageable age. It wasn't terribly well received by their clan. Not when they needed as many marriages as they could find to create its soldiers. But no one said anything when a warrior took a male lover, as long as they married when they came of age and ended the affair. Keisuke and Yasuo had planned to keep their marriage quiet, a secret held by their family.

She wondered if Naoya had a man he was hiding from her. Then reminded herself bitterly she couldn't afford to care. If Naoya had merely brought the woman into the clan as camouflage so that no elder presented him a wife, then it shouldn't be a problem.

Naoya had never once expressed dissatisfaction with supporting his family, and Akio had a few years left before he'd want to start one of his own. Aiko had made her wish to never have any sons to lose to war clear enough, and Ayumi would never force her daughter to do something she didn't want to. Taking a lover of the same sex would aid in that venture, and she wasn't sure-but didn't the glassblower work herself?

It wouldn't be difficult to find out.

Ayumi knew exactly where to inquire.

Even if she could never state her questions openly, she knew everyone in the clan worth gossiping with, and the answers would come to her eventually.

Ayumi let her feet take her the route she remembered Nozomi's old friend Hanaka lived. The woman was the best informed in the entire compound, even her position as head maid of the main branch was strategic. She had tea with the other lineage head maids once a week.

As always, Hanaka did not look surprised by her presence, despite her not gracing her home in a couple of years. The older, graceful woman smiled, welcoming and polite, completely at odds with her words. "Well you sure took your time getting yourself together."

Ayumi noded, letting the rebuke go unanswered, while Hanaka could more than afford some impoliteness regarding Ayumi-Ayumi could not risk displeasing her hostess.

"I find myself wanting to discuss the changes in the compound. Would you be so kind as to tell me what you think about them?"

Hanaka smiled, a poisonous thing, "How strange that you would welcome the knowledge from an outsider when you have access to the source?"

Ayumi nodded, acknowledging Ayakas attempt to hurt her, but remaining as placid as a lake. Ayumi had always been very good at such gossip games, "I simply value your opinion, Nozomi always said you were the smartest person she knew."

Ayumi had suspected the changes must have to do with Akane, her blurry memories of the past few years contained a lot of unexplained people coming in and out of her home, and Aiko would have discussed them with her if they had only been concerned with herself.

But Hanaka was right in that Ayumi refused to go to the source. Not because she wouldn't be welcome the way Hanaka was alluding. It seemed her children had managed to keep the secret of her declaration to Akane. If Hanaka only suspected the riff between them. If she didn't know the truth of the situation, then no one else in the Uchiha compound did.

Her silence soon bore fruit.

"Well I suppose if you've come here to gloat then you might as well do a proper job of it." Hanaka sneered, rising gracefully to her feet. Ayumi followed, keeping her mind in that quiet tranquil lake Nozomi had taught her to find in her mind.

She was glad for her foresight.

Everywhere she went was so different from before. There were strange glass houses lined up in rows. Several workshops and an entire complex of Wooden walls holding dirt and growing vegetables.

There was even an orphanage-and a place where older widows could go live comfortably together. It had large bright windows in contrast to the dark gloom of the barracks. Ayumi could see the various plants dotted along the windowsills. It had been so long since anyone in the clan had grown flowers for the simple joy of it.

Ayumi stayed in her lake. She smiled appropriately when Hanaka forgot herself and gave Akane compliments, and only the swell of love and grief she felt at all of her daughter's accomplishments threatened its surface.

"It's truly a shame Akane wasn't chosen as a Kunochi candidate to begin with. Your family's history worked against her there, even when she showed talent for the ninja arts." Hanaka commented idly.

Like most things Hanaka said, it was meant to hurt her. Ayumi could only be fiercely glad the Uchiha elders were picky in regards to the women they sent to battle. One Sharingan parent was the most basic qualification and Ayumi was fiercely glad none of her daughters had qualified.

Evidently, finally tired of trying to get an emotional response from Ayumi, Hanaka's favorite gossip game, the older woman led them back to her home. Nozomi had once commented, before she died-that if Ayumi ever broke, Hanaka would never have her for tea again.

"Your daughter would have truly made a fantastic Kunochi. Smart and personable, there are certain missions where such young women are preferable-certain skills certain women come to more easily than men." Hanaka said in a honeyed tone. As if she wasn't implying Ayumi's darling baby would've made a fine courtesan.

"Women are always better when it comes to details," Ayumi agreed, pleasantly. Her rage at the implication stayed, deeply submerged in her lake. Akane would never moonlight as a courtesan for the clan, thankfully-not when she'd proven herself such a skilled warrior.

"Nozomi used to tell me you would have made a good Kunochi as well." Hanaka said, almost garnering visible surprise from Ayumi."I didn't believe her then-but it's been more than ten years, and you have never once been rude to me. The same can't be said of any Kunochi currently in the field."

"All of them?" Ayumi asked, tone mildly interested to convey her surprise.

"All of them." Hanaka confirmed, "which is why, for the first time since my position came into existence I'm considering handing it down to someone with no Kunoichi training."

"I see," said Ayumi, who very much did not see. For all that Hanaka enjoyed her cruel monologues, the woman wasn't one to waste her words needlessly.

"If you truly understood, then I would not be worth my life as a Kunochi and the home spymaster." Hanaka said.

The trick of not reacting to anything Hanaka said, Ayumi had found over the years, was to consider each statement a lie. It didn't matter what anyone said to you if they were just making up a story to amuse themselves. It was the first time Ayumi had to wonder if Hanaka had ever lied to her.

Nozomi had trusted her, she'd told her Hanaka words were as good as gold, and to treat them as such. But surely if what Hanaka was saying was true then she wouldn't be saying it to Ayumi of all people.

Still, she would hardly break her streak now when she'd managed to ignore an entire strolls worth of venom prior to tea.

"Always so composed and quiet." Hanaka sighed. "I thought you were a one trick pony. I never saw you do anything truly interesting or Kunochi worthy-not the way Nozomi claimed you could. The closest I saw was the engagement you secured for your dearly departed daughter-and that wasn't terribly impressive. But what you did with Akane using those nobles? I would have never thought of that."

One trick pony that she was, Ayumi didn't so much as blink.

"Getting the Daimyos cousin to praise those earthen clay pots the widows make almost for free and having their value rise like that? That is something that any spy master has to respect and applaud. Your daughter is the hope of the Uchiha clan-and as her mother, I will grant you the respect of becoming the in-clan spy master and my apprentice."

They shared a pregnant pause before Ayumi smiled.

"What does the position entail?"

She planned to turn it down of course, but knowing more about the inner workings of the clan was always useful. Whether she liked it or not, Ayumi was an Uchiha at the end of the day.

"We are meant to keep track of the power shifts within the clan. It was once a very important position, the Lineages spent a few hundred years in a quiet civil war over who should truly lead the clan. But with the Senju War and the last two clan heads focusing only on that. Well, I wasn't seeing the point of training a replacement." Hanaka grumbled.

Ayumi hummed, "Our Clan Leader has changed plenty of clan Policies."

Hanaka sniffed disdainfully, too well mannered to snort.

"The only sign left of our clan's Noble Lineage is that we still teach our children to read and write." She sighed then, a world weary sound Ayumi would have never thought she could make. "All Tajima has done is continue his fathers work of centralizing power. It is no longer a question of which Lineage will lead the clan or even what the clan head duties should be. Now we are simply meant to follow orders. It is convenient in war to have a decisive leader-but one man cannot solely lead a clan. Not truly. Especially when the only ones who can question his orders are bribed so well to obey him."

"The orphan homes," Ayumi acknowledged.

"Raising orphans for the sole purpose of dying for a Lineage-once Tajima got away with that. That's when I knew the clan had truly fallen." Hanaka mourned.

"Do you expect us to die off?"

Hanakas expression went carefully blank, "I expect the Uchiha to forget themselves and become servants of the Main Line. Perhaps, given enough time, we would even become sealed slaves.

It's not something you will find in the clan libraries, but it is part of our oral history-secrets passed down over hundreds of years from masters to apprentice, but the Uchiha were truly a part of the Hyuuga clan once. The first of us were born of their unions with non-hyuuga, mostly their servants, and didn't have their bloodline, much like your own family line. The less concentrated the blood, the less likely the gifts.

Before the first Uchiha developed their bloodline gifts, we were mostly ignored. However once they saw the sharingan, the Hyuuga saw a use for us. The Hyuuga use Fuuinjutsu to enslave their side branches, and have for millenia. When they moved to seal us, we fought them desperately. We were willing to die to the last as long as it meant we died free.

But watching the slaughter that met our resistance pushed the Sharingan into new heights. That was when the first Lineages came to be. The Amaterasu Burned, the Susano Protected, and so on and so forth. We fought for our freedom and we ultimately became a clan all of our own. We vowed to never treat one line as superior to another-but the way that the last few hundred years have gone, I'm beginning to think it's a matter of time before we break that promise."

Ayumi felt a shiver go down her spine at the thought.

"Surely not? It is already enough of a shame to fall into the servant class. Slavery is something our clan would never dream of instituting."

"The ration distribution preferences for Warriors only started with Tajimas father, and now this clan can scarcely picture a world without such a cruel practice. While the clan does need leaders and Warriors both-prioritizing them over the lives of those most vulnerable in the clan is against everything we once stood for! And yet it goes on. If it wasn't for your daughter, I would have given up on us completely."

"You wish for Akane to become the Matriarch in truth?"

If Hanaka was truly a Kunochi spymaster-then maybe Ayumi would take the post after all. If only to help her daughter's chances of survival. Even if she hardened her heart and pretended Akane was a son, Ayumi was practical enough to work for the benefits of placing one of her children into a position of power.

"Two thirds of our clan is fighting to keep your daughter alive long enough to take the post," Ayaka said. "Those who do not belong to a lineage greatly outnumber those who do, and their families are the ones your daughter is taking care of."

The hope that bloomed in Ayumi's chest was the cruelest thing she'd ever felt. "So many warriors, truly?"

"The number keeps growing. You should know warriors all have mothers and sisters and wives to care for. Once Akane established the Widow and Orphan office, she proved she was willing to take power and care for those the Lineages are happy to ignore. Your daughter has already done more for the clan than half the Matriarchs that came before her-and she hasn't even married Madara yet."

Pride welled alongside hope in Ayumi's chest. For the first time in a long, long time she had to clench her hands to center herself and still her lake. Her sweet, darling Akane-with Aratas smile and all the love in the world to give.

The clan would be lucky to have her-but then, so had Ayumi been for so many years.

So incredibly lucky to have had three beautiful, kind daughters.

And now she was down to one.

Aiko was the only one Ayumi would get to keep. But if Akane made it to eighteen, if she became the Matriarch with assigned guards-stationed in clan to handle domestic matters, well.

Maybe Ayumi could get her back.

"What exactly is our role in all this?"

X

So it's been hard out here for Ayumi. Does her backstory make her more sympathetic to you, or do you think she should have known better?

I find it really interesting to kind of create Uchiha culture and what not.

Also yeah Aiko's gay AF and Naoya totally accidentaly brought her soulmate home and now he's the awkward beard keeping their relationship together lmaooo. Aiko just literally just drew the line at marriage-she didn't want her wife even fake marrying her brother, being seen as his fiancee was bad enough. But that was the only way to grant her SO's citizenship' sooooo

In other news, Akane is out here winning the hearts of the people and running a very successful political campaign she is only vaguely aware of lol.