Gabriella felt the cold wind in her hair as she opened the car door. Walking towards the entrance she felt her palms sweat, she must have done this so many times that attempting to count how many was futile, how could this feel so familiar yet so unprecedented each time. It had been like this for years, ever since Sharpay started going on tour while Gabriella was at law school. They were now 30.
At first they would meet whenever Sharpay was near Stanford, then Gabriella started driving hours to see her when and where possible or if it was too far, they would meet halfway, anything not to be apart from each other long enough to admit they missed each other. And as is often the case with people, overtime it became second nature for them to compare schedules to try and find times to see each other.
Sharpay was a big star now, and that took her all over the globe, Gabriella on the other hand was a rather successful lawyer, that gave her a little opportunity to justify some of the places she drove to, but most of the time there was no pretense, she drove all those hours just to see Sharpay, not that either of them would ever admit that. It was easier to lie and masquerade these encounters as something that happened when they were both in the same place.
Troy didn't understand how after so many years Gabriella still wanted to see Sharpay perform. How could he ever understand what Gabriella wanted was more than that, sure watching the concert was always an amazing experience, she could imagine that the blonde diva was singing only to her and she could let go, scream, sing and dance, without a care in the world. She's my friend. I like to be supportive. She'd always reply.
Troy accompanied her sometimes, of course, but it wasn't the same. Sometimes when Sharpay was going to be away in Europe or Asia for a long time, they'd find a way to make it appear like the opportunity of a lifetime to visit this or that country, so that Troy and Peyton wouldn't get suspicious of them flying thousands of miles to see each other. They'd turn it into a trip and Sharpay would make sure that they'd have a third room available to escape to whenever possible. Somewhere that was only theirs, they never let this slip into their respective lives. It stayed contained within the hotel room walls.
Would they ever get tired of this? Maybe so, but not anytime soon from the look of things. It was getting harder to say goodbye; it was beginning to be too much getting the strength to leave at the right time under the veil of night; but the worst part was when they could spend the night together, because something inside Gabriella was breaking every time she woke up to find herself alone with a cryptic text from Sharpay, nothing too personal, see you next time I'm in town, never anything beyond a vague goodbye. But that was different than getting tired, it was if anything longing for more.
Her head was a tangled mess, as she received the all too familiar package that she had grown accustomed to getting at the entrance. It was always the same, the ticket to enter the concert and a hotel room key. Nothing personal about it, as not to arouse suspicions that could lead to anyone alerting the paparazzi. She always hoped there'd be a note, something to hold onto, but that would mean that she'd take something back with her, and that was definitely out of the question.
As she entered the venue she could hear the noise of people clamoring for Sharpay, but it was background noise compared to what was going on in her head. This was too complicated, if it ever got out it would make a mess of things. But they were in too deep, they'd never say it aloud to each other, but they knew there was no way back.
They'd had a scare once, a noisy housekeeper had taken pictures of them entering a hotel room together, but Sharpay's management had been able to buy her silence. What happened after that? They started arriving separately, but stopping was never discussed, it wasn't on the table as much as it isn't on the table now.
This doesn't mean that Gabriella doesn't love Troy, she does, he's safe, he's funny, he's familiar, but Sharpay is passion, adventure, and desire. How could she ever give one of them up? She could never hurt any of them, not if it was up to her, but she also knew this had an expiration date. It was too good to last, what would happen when Sharpay had to slow down and they'd be forced to accept that this wasn't something that only happened because they were already there and they might as well let it happen one more time. The thought terrified her, but she'd never accept it, not at loud and not to Sharpay.
She found her seat, it was a good one, but not the best in the house, wouldn't want people noticing the same lady every time in the front row. She knew how it was, but she always hoped that when she saw the ticket it would be front and center, that when she opened the package she would find a meet and greet to be able to be backstage, or something. But that was reserved for Peyton. He was the one who got to be there, to be photographed, to make his presence known without fear.
Looking up at the stage she knew what she'd find, everything would be pink and Sharpay's name would be in big letters almost everywhere. Gabriella knew that after all these years and after it becoming her brand and her public persona, Sharpay would end up despising the color pink and in private would run away from anything resembling pink. This was information only a handful of people were privy to, and after all, that's what she took with her after these encounters, the knowledge of Sharpay, not the star, not the diva, but the person.
She knew that Sharpay hated cocktails and instead preferred a scotch, but pretended otherwise, she knew about that mole hidden in the blonde's hip that only a handful of people had seen and she knew about what kept her up at nights. Gabriella knew her fears, her wants, her needs, her desires, how she liked to be touched and what made her scream Gabriella's name. And wasn't that what mattered?
Then why was she feeling empty, like something was missing? She knew she loved all that but she wanted to hold hands while they walked down the street, she wanted to be the one that got interviewed about it was like to be married to the star. But that was out of the question. They both knew it.
As Sharpay hit the stage Gabriella was mesmerized as if this was the first time. She listened to song after song as if it was the first time, she sang but a little quieter than the first time, she danced but a little weaker than the first time. It wasn't that she didn't want to, it was that at first she imagined that everything would work itself out, but now, after all these years, she knew that there wasn't more, there wasn't going to be more, no matter how much she hoped.
The concert couldn't end soon enough and eventually Gabriella found herself in the comfort of her car once again. She texted Troy to tell him she had a few drinks and that she didn't want to make the two hours drive back like this, that she was going to sleep at a hotel and she'd see him in the morning. It was a lie, she felt bad, but at this point it was a habit to find ways to stretch their time together as much as possible.
After what felt like an eternity but was only 30 minutes, she found herself sitting on the edge of the bed in a hotel room suite waiting. Sharpay would be here any minute and all these wanting would be over; she'd have what she came here for.
Eventually the door knob turned and Sharpay walked into the room, as soon as the door was closed, they covered the distance between them, their lips where crashing into each other, their hands exploring, there were times where they took it slow, but not the first time of the night, the first was always like this, taking what they wanted from each other, telling each other I've missed you with their bodies, but not out loud, never out loud. The time for telling each other I love you without actually saying the words would come later, but it always came.
Do you have to leave early? Sharpay asked between kisses. No, I texted to let him know I had a few drinks and couldn't drive back today, she replied and you? She wondered about where Peyton was, she wasn't able to make out if he was in his usual spot from where she stood during the concert. No. He's at home. And with that, they let go. They had a whole night and they weren't about to waste it.
The night was spent between kisses, laughter, desire, hugs and truth telling, it was magical, but with them it always was. They fought the urge to sleep but eventually Sharpay fell asleep, tired after a long tour. Gabriella faked sleeping to avoid waking her up, maybe this was the time she'd ask Sharpay to stay, to have breakfast together, to be more.
As the sun started shining through the windows, warming her skin, she found herself unable to stop pretending to be asleep. She kept her eyes closed and turned her back as Sharpay started getting ready.
As she heard her take a quick shower… tell her to stay for a little while longer.
As she snuck a peak at Sharpay trying to find her clothes… ask her to have breakfast with you.
As she heard her phone notify her of Sharpay's goodbye text… Come on! There will never be more if you don't ask for more!
As she heard Sharpay come closer and give her a kiss on the forehead.. Say something. Anything. Now!
As she heard Sharpay whisper I love you… Maybe next time.
And with that Sharpay was gone and Gabriella was alone once again. She doesn't know why she didn't move, why she didn't talk. As much as she wants more, the truth is at the end of the day she's as unable to reach and take more as Sharpay is. But this time, she heard those three little words they'd been dancing around. For now, that was more than enough. She texted Troy On my way there. See you soon.
