Recommended OST: watch?v=ImRjy0vgYoI&ab_channel=AimerOfficialVEVO
Note: this story contains elements of bullying, abuse, gaslighting, mentions of suicide and suicide-baiting, self-blaming, self-hatred, internalized ableism and use of the r-word (but mentioned like this instead of fully written), as well as the depiction of childhood abuse and trauma via bullying and invalidation of emotions so please, if this will make any reader uncomfortable, be careful. I don't condone nor romanticize suicide, nor the thought process of Izuku in this story…
If any of you is feeling sad or empty, try to talk to a friend, family member or someone you trust and remember, your feelings matter and you deserve to be listened to, no matter what happens, for all of them matter, even if they seem "small" to other people, they affect the one who feels so, they're valid and they deserve to be heard.
Boku no Hero Academia belongs to Kohei Horikoshi and Shonen Jump, and the song "Kyou Kara Omoide" belongs to Aimer, the only thing I own is this story.
US:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
(Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish.)
1-800-273-8255 (Though be careful if you use this, I've heard that they can force someone into a mental hospital against their will if they call, so only mark this number as a last resort, and be careful by telling them your information. Don't know if those rumors are true, but better be safe just in case).
Note 2: I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings while writing this story, nor I'm writing it with manipulative intentions... The only reasons I'm writing this is to complement the trilogy of Destroyed Ideals, and to vent a bit about stress and real life worries. Plus, some life lessons I'm writing here are those I wish I had known when I was younger, or those I should've listened to when others told me about them.
Izuku Midoriya was born in July 15 of 2.154, and was apparently destined to have a happy, blessed life.
His parents were Hisashi Midoriya, a business salaryman with a major in Economy, and Inko Midoriya née Akatani, an expert baker with a major in Gastronomy… Quite a normal family, some people would've said.
When he was a year old, he was introduced to Katsuki Bakugou, the son of his mother's childhood friend from high school, Mitsuki Bakugou née Gogou, and her husband Masaru Bakugou. Everyone thought they were going to be true friends for the rest of their lives.
Had certain events played differently, their friendship would have a better chance of surviving, but it was simply not meant to be (at least in this timeline).
Meanwhile, Izuku was visited every once in a while by his father's relatives, from aunts and uncles to elder cousins, as well as his grandparents and even his great-grandparents once, which Inko thought as really nice, since she only had a living younger sister, Hotaru Akatani.
With so much family, a childhood friend, and countless opportunities to live… What could've gone wrong?
Everything.
At the age of four, in August 20 of 2.158, Izuku was taken to Dr. Tsubasa's office for a quirk checkup, eventually revealing his quirkless status.
Quirkless.
QUIRKLESS.
That night Izuku cried as he watched his favorite All Might video while being hugged by his mother, not knowing that this tragedy was only the beginning of many years of suffering and abuse.
Hisashi Midoriya wasn't an evil person, instead, he was the main reason Izuku ended up being so forgiving and kind hearted… But he had abandonment issues.
After finding out of his only child's quirkless status, he told Inko to not tell his family, because they wouldn't like it… They only managed to keep shut for six months, until Hisashi was summoned by his grandparents to talk about it.
He was given an ultimatum.
If he chose to stay with Inko and Izuku, he would be disowned from his family, and no one would be allowed to contact him, as otherwise the same fate would befall upon them.
The reason? His paternal grandparents were almost killed in their teens by an anti-mutant mob, having such a trauma that they didn't want to hear anything about quirkless people at all… Their quirks weren't that impressive, being either an inner heat core or creating gunpowder from scratch, but their descendants could ignite their fire via a fusion of those two quirks.
Hisashi Midoriya broke down like a child.
He begged his grandparents to not make him choose between family, to give Izuku a chance, that he was a good kid and wouldn't hurt anyone…
But they didn't listen, nor they cared.
He only had two days to make his choice.
"I don't know what to do, Inko…" Murmured Hisashi as he told his wife everything while sobbing. "I don't want to lose them… But I don't want to lose you or Izuku either…"
While Izuku inherited his kind heart and ability to forgive from his father… He also obtained his analytical mind and ability to think of others first instead of yourself from his mother.
Inko knew about the statistics, how parents of quirkless people could eventually turn abusive, even if they never hurt their families before, thanks to the social stigma and isolation.
She would never forgive herself if Hisashi's sadness evolved into resentment and anger towards her or even worse… Izuku.
So, she made her choice.
"How about we do this, Hisashi?" Said Inko as she prepared to use her diplomacy. "If you promise to help Izuku with a monthly pension, and a letter during his birthday, I won't press any charges towards you, and we will divorce quickly and peacefully." It was the best course of action. "How does that sound?"
He agreed… And his grandparents did so as well.
"For what's worth, Inko-san… I'm sorry, we all are." Said Hisashi's sister Honora II as she apologized for not helping her… They never liked their grandparents view about the quirkless, but they knew that once you got banished from the family, they were doomed to be alone. "Hope that Kami forgives me for saying this but, once they pass away, would you like for Hisashi to come back to Izuku's life?"
Just how powerful were the Midoriya elders?
"If he feels comfortable and there's no drawbacks at all… Then fine." Answered Inko in a somewhat bitter tone. "Though I wish he could've chosen us… I'm not happy at all with this, so consider it my final act of love towards him."
In just three months, the divorce was done, and Inko changed her last name back to Akatani, but Izuku kept the Midoriya one as a way to remember his father.
Hisashi Midoriya never married again, nor did he father more children, as he felt he didn't deserve love after betraying Inko and Izuku, for he was a coward, unable to face his fears and make a sacrifice for the things that mattered the most.
Inko Akatani lost a piece of her heart, and would constantly sob after helping Izuku get asleep, wondering why people couldn't sacrifice their happiness for her just as she did with so many others before…
Near September of 2.158, Izuku Midoriya learned that life wasn't equal… And that most people would always choose their happiness before his own.
In December of 2.159, a year after his father walked out of his life, Izuku started to lose his friendship with Katsuki.
After his homeroom teacher revealed his quirkless status, most people from the class stopped talking to him, except when they absolutely had to (like homework or projects), but Kacchan and his friends somewhat supported him for a few months, until that day when Katsuki fell into the river, and Izuku tried to take his hand.
Kacchan slapped Izuku's hand and ran as fast as he could.
A day after that, the explosive boy told Izuku he wanted to talk to him alone after school, regarding the incident.
"I shouldn't have hit you, Izuku… And I wanted to apologize for that." Said Kacchan as the last sincere apology he gave to the quirkless kid in a long, long time. "Honestly, I don't wanna be your friend anymore… But still, I hope you can make new friends around here, I'm sure someone would like to be there for you."
Izuku just nodded as he tried to contain the tears before he ran away as much as his little legs allowed him to, before screaming as he sobbed behind a tree…
How could things change so fast?
In less than a year… He lost everything.
Kacchan (and probably the rest of their friend group), his father and most of his extended family… Was he a villain?
Was he so rotten that no one wanted to deal with him at all?
He didn't realize he passed away from grief until Auntie Mitsuki found him after Kacchan told her about what happened, so she drove him back to his house.
Surprisingly, Inko and Mitsuki were sad their children didn't want to be friends, so they both made a deal to still support the other as much as they could, without mentioning their sons at all, it would be the best way to remain impartial.
Near January of 2.160, Izuku Midoriya learned that his existence was a sin, and he would be lucky to find someone who cared about him after his mother and Auntie Hotaru both passed away.
In between March of 2.160 and April of 2.165, Izuku slowly learned the meaning of being hated by life itself.
He tried to follow Kacchan's advice as much as he could, and attempted to make at least one friend that would like him for what he was, for existing… But no matter how much effort he put in; it simply didn't happen.
Three kids told him they liked him, but their parents didn't like quirkless people, so they couldn't be friends. Thankfully, they still treated him with respect and basic kindness instead of hating him.
He never knew they would support him from the sidelines ever since then, up until he left Aldera Middle School.
Six other kids laughed at his face, spoke with howls or incoherent screeches (almost as if he were a r-word), or told him outright they didn't want to.
Finally, six more kids told him they would, but only if he made at least half of their homework, being more like a transaction (homework in exchange for pretending to be friends). Since he still had some pride, Izuku refused to accept, so he gained more enemies by doing so…
After a year or so of loneliness, he started to follow Kacchan and his squad from a safe distance, if only to trick his mind that he still had some friends who liked him, and managed to do so for three months before being caught… In April of 2.161, Katsuki found out the truth, and it was the first time he punished him without apologizing at all.
"Why were you followin' me, Deku?" Asked Kacchan in an angry tone. "I told ya peacefully that I didn't want to be your friend anymore! Why can't you respect my wishes?!"
"I'VE BEEN TRYING!" Screamed Izuku as an answer. "For the past year I've been trying to make new friends Kacchan, but no one wants to, no one… I don't know what is wrong with me…"
In that moment, a part of Katsuki wanted to tell him to try being friends again, or at least to offer some comfort words, but they were overshadowed by the pure anger he felt at being stalked for months without noticing at all.
So, he punched Izuku in his left arm, before grabbing him by the collar of his shirt while popping mini-explosions near his face, before giving him a warning.
"Had you not done this, I would have left you alone… But since you don't give a shit about my feelings, the I won't give a shit about yours." Said Kacchan with unfiltered hatred flowing through his veins. "From now on, we're enemies, and remember, you brought this upon yourself, you damn nerd."
In April of 2.161, Izuku Midoriya learned that whenever he tried to fix a problem, he would only make things far worse than they were, so he dropped away his ambition to survive.
Ever since that day, Kacchan became far more aggressive with him, taunting him as "Deku", somewhat pushing him around and making others laugh at him… Truly, the road to hell was paved with good intentions… It didn't help that almost no one liked him before, and except for those two boys and that girl, he knew he was the most hated person in that classroom.
As long as he kept his mouth shut, finished his homework on time, and didn't give them a reason to be attacked... He could survive.
Humanity evolved from a series of species that mostly wanted to survive and ensure their genes would pass upon their next generation, so the concept of "selfishness" back then was closer to "survival", rather than "maliciousness or evil".
Deep inside, Izuku wanted to be accepted, he wanted someone to acknowledge his existence, to fill his empty heart with kindness and friendship, but no matter how much he tried… It was impossible.
Eventually, he noticed his mom was slowly fading away too.
For Inko Akatani was far thinner than she used to be, to the point her cheekbones and collarbones could be easily seen, while her skin was pale and very gaunt, their current reality being far more than her coping mechanisms managed to counteract it.
One day, she couldn't take it anymore.
She wanted to end her pain and suffering, so she started writing her will.
Inko left everything to Hotaru, including Izuku's guardianship, so perhaps she could save her son from a life of despair.
After all, she was always far stronger than her mentally.
On a cold, breezy Saturday's afternoon, Inko called her sister and asked if she could come look after Izuku, to then leave the house and take a taxi to Musutafu's main bridge.
She needed to do this, otherwise… Her worst fear was succumbing to darkness and lashing out against Izuku, as she almost snapped at him on two different occasions…
Her parents were gone, most of her friendships were also gone, her husband and his family abandoned them, and Izuku would likely suffer for decades until he succumbed to despair.
It was far too much…
Thankfully, Hotaru Akatani managed to save her elder sister, and would become a constant presence in their lives for a couple of years. She had short, shoulder length hair, which was also spiky and with bangs, being the same color as Inko's, but her eyes were red instead of green. Also, she wore a white t-shirt with blue jeans and a black hoodie tied around her waist, alongside black shoes, which were comfortable for her side job of fast-food delivery.
This is how it happened.
"Auntie Hotaru!" Said Izuku as he hugged his aunt before saying his mom had been missing. "Mommy said she would go to buy some milk, but it has been two hours and she's still out there."
"I will check her room so, please stay here in the living room, Izucchan, there must be a way to help." Said Hotaru as she checked her sister's room… Only to find a letter.
A goodbye letter.
"Oh. God…" Murmured Hotaru as she ran outside to calm her only nephew. "Izucchan, I'm going to lock out the door, so please, stay here, and don't let anyone enter, no matter whom they are, am I clear?"
"Crystal." Answered Izuku. "Please bring mommy back..."
After nodding, Hotaru closed the apartment and took the keys with her, before fetching her motorcycle and driving as fast as she could towards Musutafu's bridge, even using her quirk to make it fly as a way to avoid traffic, since her telekinesis was stronger than Inko's.
She didn't blame her sister.
As a recently graduated psychology student, she knew people had different breaking points, and if Inko felt she was about to become abusive towards Izuku, she would rather die instead of hurting her only child.
Thankfully, once she arrived, Inko was still there, trying to gather strength to jump and fade into nothing.
"ONEE-CHAN!" Screamed Hotaru as she used her quirk to drag Inko into the safety of the shore, to then hug her tightly before crying. "Please don't scare me like this again Onee-chan, I'm here to listen and support you as best as I can…"
Inko just made a small laugh before hugging her back, to then sit into the sand, not caring her own clothes were soaked with debris and water.
"All my life, I tried to not hurt anyone, I tried to not treat anyone in a bad way, and I always tried to follow every single rule out there…" Murmured Inko as she started to fully break. "But even so, my life is now a living hell… Our parents are gone and we don't have other relatives, Hisashi's gone because he chose his own happiness instead of our own, and Izuku started to be outcasted and bullied… My own child, and I can't even save him, I'm a goddamn failure…"
The kind hearted baker finally collapsed into a waterfall of tears after her entire worldview shattered, as there were people she never hurt, and those whom Izuku never hurt either, but they didn't have a shred of mercy on them.
She would probably outlive her son if she doesn't die first. Or, both Hotaru and her would pass away, so Izuku wouldn't have anyone (unless his father's family decided to reach out, if that ever happened). They had no escape at all…
"You know, Inko-nee, that our society is at fault for telling us that if we never hurt anyone no one will hurt us either." Said Hotaru as she dried Inko's tears with a handkerchief. "It's like saying a Tiger won't eat us for being vegetarians."
And so, the younger sister explained a concept she learned in her classes.
If someone decided to help another, they will need to do so only for that person's benefit, so even if they don't get a reward (or a simple "thank you"), they wouldn't feel bad, because in the end, knowing they helped someone else is more than enough payment.
But, if someone helped another person while expecting something in return, only to get ungratefulness and indifference at best, or even being betrayed or tossed away at worst, would slowly shatter their hearts, until they couldn't take it anymore.
And Inko was always like that, thinking first of other people's happiness rather than her own, while many of those people thought of their own happiness first instead of hers… And so, she was used as a tool before being discarded once she fulfilled her purpose…
"I was stupid… So stupid for thinking the world was kind…" Murmured Inko as she kept crying. "I don't want to turn into someone abusive and hurt Izuku for things that aren't his fault…"
"In that case, I will move with you both." Said Hotaru as a way to support her sister. "If you ever crossed that line, I would stop you, okay? We've been through lots of shit together, and we will move forward alongside Izucchan's, that I can promise."
Maybe Hotaru couldn't fully save them from society, but she could ensure they knew they were loved unconditionally by someone else.
Inko eventually went into therapy, so she checked herself in into a psychiatric hospital for at least a month, so Hotaru was given Izuku's custody for the time being.
Even if he couldn't remember, Hotaru Akatani was the closest thing he ever had as a friend (at least until he met Ochaco and Tenya).
But sadly, the Midoriya curse would strike this small family once more…
Hello, the author here. Wanted to say that the Destroyed Ideals series will expand into a multiverse, and after the Trilogy is over, I will probably write a Vigilante AU (based on the Shelter Omake), so this story will be the Origin one for all Izuku's of this series xD
Also, I wanted to thank all the people for their support in the stories, it really means a lot. n_n/
It will be a short complement story, since we're going to change the protagonist POV from Ochaco to Izuku this fic will serve that purpose xD
Please take care and have a good night! :D
