Note: this story contains elements of bullying, abuse, gaslighting, mentions of suicide and suicide-baiting, self-blaming, self-hatred, internalized ableism and use of the r-word (but mentioned like this instead of fully written), as well as the depiction of childhood abuse and trauma via bullying and invalidation of emotions so please, if this will make any reader uncomfortable, be careful. I don't condone nor romanticize suicide, nor the thought process of Izuku in this story…
If any of you is feeling sad or empty, try to talk to a friend, family member or someone you trust and remember, your feelings matter and you deserve to be listened to, no matter what happens, for all of them matter, even if they seem "small" to other people, they affect the one who feels so, they're valid and they deserve to be heard.
Boku no Hero Academia belongs to Kohei Horikoshi and Shonen Jump, and the song "Kyou Kara Omoide" belongs to Aimer, the only thing I own is this story.
Recommended OST: watch?v=eq8r1ZTma08&ab_channel=
In between mid-2.161 and early 2.164, Izuku spend many years sharing a close friendship with his aunt Hotaru, and it was thanks to their bond he somewhat managed to socialize with others in Yuuei (especially Ochaco and Tenya).
After Inko was sent to a psychiatric hospital to stabilize her emotions, Hotaru took care of her nephew for three months, being a very kind hearted, but responsible parental figure.
Ever since she obtained her psychology degree, Hotaru knew that humanity in general could be very distrusting of things difficult to comprehend, such as paranormal phenomena, or even people with mindsets different from the norm… But she had a theory of her own, that generalized others in two categories:
Whole People: these are humans who have full self-esteem and self-love, whom like their own mirror reflection, who can stand up for themselves and focus on their happiness first, whom can socialize easily and be accepted just by who they are, by existing, and they know they have a place in this world one way or another.
Shattered People: instead, these people, either by things beyond their control, societal stigma or being different from others, tend to face far more difficulties… They find it difficult to love themselves, and sometimes end up feeling hatred instead, they either isolate themselves or focus mostly on other people's happiness, and they feel they have to prove their worth as humans via words and actions.
Izuku was probably on his way to become someone shattered because of his quirkless status, and his best bet was saving up money to move into a more quirkless supportive country, but until then… The Akatani Family would have to bear this pain as much as they could.
She had some friends but, since they all returned to their native prefectures after college finished, their support was limited to chatting, kind letters and some goods like food or books for her family… Still, it was more than enough, and she would be forever thankful to them.
"Izuku-kun, Inko nee-chan… I promise I will do my best to be there for both of you, I swear upon my life." Murmured Hotaru as she made sure Izuku fell asleep peacefully, before going to her own room to let her mind slowly accept reality.
"Auntie…" Said Izuku while he was eating some Katsudon for dinner. "Do you think someday I could have a chance to be happy?"
A difficult question.
A very difficult question.
Would it be okay to give a "merciful lie" to someone about their possible fate?
In some cases, people tended to say such platitudes to others, usually with good intentions, in order to somewhat ease their pain (at least for a while).
But Hotaru wouldn't do that, as her nephew deserved to know the truth.
"Would you like to hear a story?" Asked Hotaru before taking a small breath. "It will explain all of this, what do you say?"
Izuku nodded quickly.
And so, a story always taught around the world (except in Japan, South Korea, China and some other countries), began to unfold.
For most of its history, humanity lacked superhuman abilities, except for extremely isolated cases, (such as many mythological monsters like vampires or werewolves; could've been ancient quirks), but they tended to discriminate each other for many things (from physical aspects, to psychological and cultural ones), but once quirks appeared, most people didn't see them as a blessing… But instead, a curse.
As such, they were discriminated, feared like monsters, ostracized and hunted by various governments, fearing they could change the world with a fraction of their power… What they didn't know, is that most quirks from that era weren't that strong, and those people were extremely scared instead of planning to conquer the world.
In a secret basement, the villain All for One sneezed… Was someone talking about him?
How could they know about his existence? Most generations already forgot his legend…
Even if he knew, believing those words came from one of his great-grandchildren would've been quite hard to accept, as he stopped tracking most of his descendants a few decades ago, perhaps he could restart the project. For now, he needed to focus towards his plan to destroy that accursed All Might…
Those wounds, insults, freezing indifference and burning hatred created a seed of resentment in their hearts, which they passed towards their children.
Once both quirkless and quirked became somewhat balanced (48% of Quirked vs 52% of Quirkless), society had a small period of peace, though both types of people avoided the other as much as they could… Sadly, it wouldn't last.
Also, after scientists around the world confirmed that quirkless people would be functionally extinct in between the sixth and eighth generations post quirks, all hell broke loose.
Those quirkless people whom didn't live in a country with laws to protect them began to experience a full-blown karma. Insults from A to Z, being isolated from others, physical abuse (from punches to kicks, sometimes even full-blown beatings), them not being able to know the warmth of friendship or family, and in extreme cases getting abandoned into orphanages, as well as hearing their own existence was nothing more than a sin (which happened via suicide baiting).
Such was the cycle of hatred.
Modern quirkless people (and to a lesser extent those with villainous, mutant and somewhat weak quirks), were paying the price for the sins of their ancestors, as hatred is always repaid with even more of it, pretty much sealing their fate since birth.
"I'm telling you all of this because you didn't do anything wrong, Izuku, you're not at fault for what our ancestors did decades ago." Said Hotaru in a warm tone. "That's why as soon as we gather enough money, all three of us will leave Japan to start anew, in a place where you will find friends and kindness, count on it."
It was their only choice… Wasn't it?
Izuku just nodded, at least finally knowing why he was enduring all of this.
Eventually, Hotaru taught him a lot of tricks to support himself at school, which included:
— Stealth (to hide from his bullies until they got bored, and to avoid being incriminated for things he didn't do).
— First Aid (to heal his wounds if his bullies managed to find him, including both cleaning and dressing various injuries).
— Law Loopholes (technically, all quirkless people are universally protected before their first year of middle school, that's why most of his physical bullying was quite light, and his teachers were forced to stop it when they saw it happen).
Once Inko returned from the mental hospital quite recovered (even returning to her original weight), the Akatani family started an era of peace and happiness (although they had to avoid some triggers for both Inko and Izuku). Or, at least, as much happiness as they could have.
Sometimes, smaller things were the ones that gave certain lives their meaning and purpose.
Watching movies at home, as well as eating lots of popcorn, while expressing as much emotions as we can.
Ordering special foods, such as Ice Cream, Sushi, Katsudon, Pizzas, Burgers or whatever dishes they liked, to celebrate being alive, being loved and sharing them together.
To have someone comfort you when you cry, to get a kind hug, letting you know you're not alone, and while things might not be okay in the future, for now, you're at peace.
Those kinds of feelings, alongside others, were in Izuku's mind during those three years his aunt lived with him… He had family aside from his mom, as well as a positive role model, and even a friend, all in one!
Sure, it really hurt being mostly ignored and mocked in school, but, perhaps in middle school they would have stricter rules, right?
Right?
It probably would be even worse but… What could he do?
He couldn't change other's thoughts about him; the only thing he could do was control his reaction so it wouldn't affect him… Quite harsh reality but, if he wanted to survive, he had to accept it.
Still, he wished for the world to be more equal, not just for him, but instead for all humans in the planet.
In July 15th of 2.163, Auntie Hotaru had a birthday gift that would change Izuku's life forever (even if she didn't know it at the time).
An ancient documentary about a vigilante, one of the earliest ones whom appeared in Japan to protect people against the rising number of criminals… The date apparently was 2.030.
His Name was Shirou Emiya, the Ever-Distant Utopia Hero.
Born in 1.987, his early life was plagued by the legendary Fuyuki Fire (theorists think someone with a quirk caused that destruction), but somehow… He was saved, by a mysterious man known as Kiritsugu Emiya (who's ideals were somewhat prominent in a few heroes, but their lives were filled in tragedy instead).
The thing is… Shirou wanted to be an Ally of Justice, a sort of prototype for modern heroes, but in an era where saying that loudly would've caused you to be a laughingstock at best, or being sent to a psychiatric hospital at worst.
But he kept going, no matter how many times life tried to destroy him.
As long as he didn't betray himself, he could withstand being betrayed by others.
After all, his desire was to make others happy, to not let anyone suffer nor die, and to make the world into a better place.
Thankfully… He still had some people who cared about him, not that many but, more than enough.
His elder sister Taiga, his best friend Issei, his adoptive sister Sakura, his other best friend Rin… And his deceased younger step-sister, Illya.
They were the ones who convinced him to do that interview, as they felt he deserved some recognition every once in a while, so he agreed.
"It's a huge honor to interview a modern vigilante!" Said a kind hearted reporter named Kaori Fujimiya in a warm tone. "Pardon me, got a bit excited about this. What do you think about the emergence of superpowers these days?"
"Well… Honestly, this is a bit awkward, but I think someone doesn't really need a power to be a hero." Answered Shirou in a straightforward way. "Sure, they may help but, as long as someone has the desire to assist others, and they train themselves as much as they can, they would make really good heroes."
"I think it's a really good answer, Emiya-san." Added Kaori in a calmer tone. "Moving on, what's your opinion on being a vigilante, or a "hero", just like those people trying to create a Commission are preaching about?"
"Like my father used to say… A hero can only save those whom they side with, and saving one person, sometimes means not saving another." Answered Shirou in a sadder tone. "Chances are many of them will end up betrayed, or even scorned by the very people they saved… But, in the end, as long as they don't expect anything in return, and do so only for other's benefit, their minds won't suffer that much."
Modern heroes didn't have that much difficulties in comparison, as they were educated in schools designed to bring out their true potential, they were sort of "celebrities", and they could have other jobs, from having a radio show to working as teachers and so on.
"It seems your father influenced you a lot, Emiya-san…" Said Kaori in a neutral, but kind tone. "If you don't mind, could you share a small bit of his story?"
Shirou nodded, but said he wouldn't disclose everything for privacy reasons.
When his father was a kid, he had to face a choice, kill a close friend of his to save an entire island, or let her live and cause the destruction of those people.
He hesitated, and everyone in the island died, except for him.
Eventually, he was adopted by a mercenary named Natalia, whom raised him as her kid, while teaching him how to use guns, knives and many weapons, as well as fighting, in order to realize his dream to become a superhero.
But he couldn't fully save anyone.
He killed one to save ten, ten to save a hundred and so on, because he didn't know how to save others in a different way… Eventually, he paid the price.
He lost his wife, his biological daughter, his health and even his ideals while trying to save Fuyuki City, as apparently, he could've saved the world with a certain method, but he rejected it… Everything burned, and eventually he found a child.
That child was Shirou.
For the next five years he would raise him, and during his final days, after enduring years of bad health and chronic pain, he told his son about his dream… How it's easy to want to be heroes in our youth, but as we grow up, we realize it's almost impossible…
After being told his dream would live on, he faded away in order to rest in peace, after years of conflict and destruction.
"After that my life was pretty much average, I trained to become a hero in adulthood, tried to improve my powers and that's it, the main reasons I became the person I'm now." Said Shirou in a somewhat nervous tone, which the interviewer managed to catch.
"For our last question… Is there anything you want to do only for yourself, instead of someone else?" Asked Kaori in an emotional tone. "
"Well… There's someone I really miss, and I hope my heart will eventually reach hers in the afterlife…" Answered Shirou as a tear fell down his cheek. "Until then, I must keep trying to keep both her and my father's dream alive, to make sure no one in my sight gets hurt, that's my ideal and the oath I pledged to my loved ones."
"Thanks for the interview, Emiya-san! Make sure to take care!" Said Kaori as she bowed to say goodbye before going towards her car, preparing to call her husband. "Hello, Yuuki-kun? You won't believe the person we managed to talk with!"
"Wow…" Murmured Izuku as he admired the hero in front of him. Somewhat, he recognized that All Might also acted like him in many ways, such as donating 70% of his earnings to various charities, keeping his identity and quirk as secrets, and doing the best he could for people without asking for anything in return.
It was the type of hero he always wanted to be.
"Thanks, Auntie, this is the best gift ever!"
Hotaru could only smile after hearing such words, that her nephew had a reason to live, a small purpose or idea, which could be realized in another country (since they allowed quirkless people to be heroes, but they had to do so at their own risk).
Izuku's ninth birthday had the Akatani family eat katsudon while talking about various topics, from their futures, to their favorite series and hobbies and so on. Accordingly, the following months had similar amounts of peace and kindness (well, as much as a quirkless person could have).
But, how much hope would they have until despair took over once more?
In January of 2.164… Izuku would lose his aunt, first friend and even a huge amount of his existence…
To celebrate Happy New Year, Inko wanted to bake a huge cake for the three of them, so Hotaru and Izuku went to the supermarket to buy all the necessary ingredients.
Flour, Eggs, Milk, Yeast, Sugar, Chantilly Cream and Strawberries, among other stuff.
Once they finished shopping, a bone chilling scream could be heard from the street, near a train rail.
A family van, which had at least seven people, was trapped in the rails, and they had at least three minutes before they were crushed into paste by a train.
"Izucchan, please stay here, okay?" Asked Hotaru as her body moved on her own while dropping the mart bags, not caring that some police officers were telling her to stop, to wait for a pro-hero, but by the time one arrived, it would be far too late.
Her eyes turned completely red while releasing reddish steam as she created a barrier to stop the train, as apparently the train driver was working as much as he could to slow down momentum but… Would it be enough?
It wouldn't.
So, she pushed the barrier ahead to clash against the powerful machine…
It hurt.
Her head hurt.
Her bones and muscles hurt.
But she had to save them.
As such, she kept pushing ahead.
She didn't care her nose was bleeding, as well as her ears…
She didn't care how she felt she was about to explode.
After two excruciating, long minutes… She stopped the train with five meters of advantage, managing to save the family.
"Auntie!" Screamed Izuku as he ran to support his aunt while grabbing the market goods in his back. "You saved them! You're a hero!"
"Yeah…" Murmured Hotaru in a semi-conscious state as she started to cry. "Izucchan… Promise me you will do what you want, and not what others would want you to do, okay? I love you both; never forget that."
Izuku didn't understand why she talked like that, until she collapsed into the street, passing away due to her quirk's strain.
At the very least… Hotaru died with a smile on her face.
"Auntie…" Said Izuku as he tried to wake her up. "Auntie, please, wake up, the doctors are coming…"
But she didn't.
"AUNTIE!" Growled Izuku as reality hit him like a hammer. "AUNTIE, PLEASE! DON'T LEAVE US! AUNTIE! AUNTIE!"
He had to be taken away by paramedics as nothing could calm down his screams… In order to survive, Izuku Midoriya started to drop away a lot of things.
He dropped what little pride he had, for he couldn't find a reason to feel that emotion anymore.
He dropped away his self-esteem and self-love, as reality taught him once more that this world wasn't equal, and he didn't have a chance to thrive at all, but instead, only to survive.
He dropped away all the memories he had of Auntie Hotaru, so his mind wouldn't shatter once he woke up.
He became an almost empty husk, entirely driven by a certain event, the only memory he didn't fully lost from his Auntie…
Her smile.
How happy she was after saving those people.
And then… His subconscious mind created a pattern between various concepts.
If he sacrificed his own life to save other people, then he would die happy, as his own existence wouldn't have been meaningless.
All Might was his first inspiration to become a Hero, but Auntie Hotaru, alongside some fragmented memories of Shirou Emiya's interview, transformed Izuku Midoriya into the person we know about today.
Inko arrived into the hospital a few hours later, supported by Mitsuki and Masaru as she broke when learning the harsh truth.
Her little sister who was born when she was thirteen, her only living relative left… Died by saving a family from a train who would've destroyed them in seconds.
She died for the greater good…
She sacrificed herself to ensure others could live.
"Where is my son?" Asked Inko to a nearby nurse. "His name is… Izuku Midoriya."
"Ma'am… Your son already woke up but… It's better if the head doctor explains this." Said the nurse in a worried tone. "Please, follow me."
Once they entered Izuku's room, there was a middle-aged doctor talking to him, who had spiky salt and peppered hair with green eyes, alongside a younger medical student, perhaps in her early twenties?"
"Good evening, my name is Dr. Hideki Hashimoto, and this is my grand-niece and current student, Harumi." Said the kind doctor while introducing himself. "The reason your son was taken here is because quirkless people are sometimes denied treatment, and this clinic it's not prejudiced at all so, it was our best bet."
"How is Izuku, will he recover?" Asked Inko in a defeated tone, not wanting to lose her only remaining family.
"Physically, he's fine but…" Answered Dr. Hideki with concern, before letting her see Izuku's expression. "The trauma was so strong, he ended up sealing most of his memories related towards Hotaru-san, as well as his emotions, so it will take a long while for your son to heal."
Izuku's eyes were hollow, a dull shade of green alongside heavy, prominent eyebags.
He would only stare at the window, sometimes drinking a bit of water or eating some snacks, but not being able to speak at all.
"Sweetie, I'm here, we will get through this together, I promise…" Whispered Inko as she finally collapsed once again, but this time, she would do her utmost best to protect Izuku… At the very least she wasn't alone, as Mitsuki and Masaru still cared about her, even if Katsuki didn't, and their neutrality policy was helping quite a bit.
Izuku Midoriya was dreaming inside of his mind.
There were fragments of memories, of someone who was very important to him, but somehow… He couldn't recall who gave him such happiness.
Perhaps… He didn't really deserve to be happy, since he was unable to remember…
All he could remember, was a small smile, and how that person died while saving others, meaning that someone could achieve happiness via self-sacrifice.
If he died saving someone else, at least one person, then his existence wouldn't be worthless, and perhaps many people will thank him for no longer making them uncomfortable just by being himself.
Just for existing.
There were also phrases of how a hero could only save their own allies, or that it could be a thankless job, as a single mistake was able to destroy a career, and shatter reputations away into oblivion.
But… At this point, he knew he had to find a purpose, as his life was worthless by its own.
He didn't matter… After five years of torment, he was sure of that.
For Izuku Midoriya would become an Ally of Justice, someone who lived for his own ideals and morals, and would strive to ensure no one would suffer just as he had, because their lives had both value and potential, and they usually had a lot of people whom loved them unconditionally.
Logically, he knew his mom would die when he reached either his late forties or late fifties, so he would eventually be alone… With no family, as well not friends by his side, what was the point of enduring further decades of existence?
Sadly… Izuku's mind was focused in a duality of both selflessness and selfishness. He was selfless because he wanted to improve other people's lives, but he was selfish because he wanted to die as soon as he could, and doing so via sacrificing himself was the most effective way.
To protect himself, his subconscious sealed his remaining sense of self, self-love and almost every negative emotion he had in the deepest corners of his mind, leaving him as someone who could not get angry at others, even if they hurt him or abused him as much as they could.
He had to do this.
He had to save as much people as he could.
Otherwise… That kind person's death would've been for nothing.
"I will continue your dream…" Murmured Izuku as he slowly woke up. "Whoever you were, and wherever you are, I will do it in your place, I swear upon my existence."
In heaven, Hotaru Akatani was loudly sobbing after finding out what happened to his nephew.
He was going to follow the same road as the Emiya family did, alongside many other people with that mindset… And without a way to interfere in the living world, she was doomed to watch her nephew slowly succumb until he died one way or another.
"Izucchan, Inko nee-chan, my friends…" Murmured Hotaru as she prayed for her remaining family members. "I'm so, so sorry…"
Suddenly, she felt a comforting hand in her shoulders, which belonged to someone quite… Plain, if she could find a word to do so.
He had shoulder length white hair, alongside warm, green eyes, plus he was wearing a white t-shirt, alongside a sky-blue shirt, plus blue jeans and brown sandals.
"Who… Are you?" Asked Hotaru.
"My name is Yoichi Shigaraki, and I'm your great grand-uncle." Answered Yoichi in a kind tone. "When someone dies, a close relative is called upon to guide them in the afterlife, so here I am."
Family.
She had more family.
"Are my parents here too?" Asked the young woman in a somewhat hopeful tone. "I wish I could tell them everything that has happened to our family…"
"Of course, if you so desire, we will meet them soon." Answered the kind hearted man. "But first, you need to calm down, okay? I know this looks bad but, I'm sure that if you vent your feelings you will better soon."
And so, Hotaru started her tale.
How Izuku's life turned into a living hell after his quirkless status was announced.
The way her former brother-in-law, Hisashi Midoriya, abandoned them as he feared being rejected by his family.
How her older sister Inko tried to take her own life after losing all of her friends and extended family, except for two people (although their son was among those who hated Izuku).
Her efforts to ensure her family would have a chance in another country, only to see that money being spent in her funeral, as well to treat both her nephew and sister's mental injuries.
And finally, how she died by saving a family from a powerful train (she saw them in her funeral, bringing various gifts, from food baskets to medicine and money, grateful towards the family of their heroine).
"Do you think everything I did was in vain?" Asked Hotaru in a worried tone. "I couldn't fight against Fate itself, I know the statistics, and I'm not sure if I will see my family again in less than ten or fifteen years from now on…"
Yoichi pulled a handkerchief from his pocket to dry her distant relative's tears, before speaking some kind hearted words to ease her pain.
"They're both fighting with the resources they have at hand, and someday… Both your sister and nephew will find happiness." Murmured Yoichi as he started to cry a bit. "It's true that they will suffer, and life itself will try to crush them, but inside their hearts there's a strong fragment of light that will protect them… And, in the future, that light will put them in a road where things will be far better, as they will do the same for so many others."
Those words gave Hotaru a small amount of hope, for there was a chance her family would find happiness in the future.
She could finally rest in peace after that…
Of course, she would still be watching her family every single day, as she waited for that miracle to happen, but she would spend time with her new great-grunkle and her parents, so she wouldn't be alone at all.
It wasn't the best but… For now, it was more than enough.
Post-Credits Scene (This happens after Doors to Alleluia's Chapter 11: Future Ochaco's Origin.)
"GAH!" Screamed Ochaco as she woke up from her last series of visions.
She saw her alternate self's life… How she made a mistake that destroyed her, and how she spent all of her remaining's existence trying to fix it.
How Class 1-A joined together to fund those journeys, to give others a chance to live, to not die either in rubble or by madness… And they succeeded.
Kyoka and Tenya were still alive.
Izuku was still alive.
And… She would make sure to protect that peace as much as she could, so many people's dreams and ideals would not be wasted down into nothingness.
But first… She needed to talk to Nedzu-sensei, as his wisdom will help her sort her thoughts.
"Don't worry, Izuku…" Murmured Ochaco as she fell asleep once more, perhaps to regain more energy. "This time, you and everyone else will get a happy ending…"
Hello, the author here!
Here's the end of the spin-off story, we'll know the rest of Izuku's origin in the Third Arc, as we're almost in the final chapter of the Second Arc! :D
After watching No Way Home and reading tons of Iron-Dad fanfics, I kinda wanted to give Izuku his own Aunt-May like character, someone to support him and guide him, as well as a kind hearted sister for Inko :'3
Please take care and have a good day! :D
