17.2.2022
"Oh my god, what the hell is with that guy?"
"Which guy?"
Sanji pauses in his plating and slams the little sauce cup onto the steel counter. "That green headed jackass in 15B! He has been staring at me since we took-off. If the bastard has a problem he should just say it to my fucking face!"
Usopp pulls an entree box out of the oven and puts together another plate before sliding the tray into the food trolley to keep warm. "Oh yeah, I noticed that whole section all huddled together. They were talking about you?"
"With the way they all kept staring, no doubt. I swear if a single one of them tries something stupid I'll duct tape them up and lock them in the shitty lavatory."
Usopp chuckles and pours hot water into a tray of towels. "You can't spell 'usurper' without 'purser'. I'm gonna bring these to the flight deck." He loads several cans of cola and juice onto a cart with three meal trays and disappears.
"Kay." Sanji grabs silverware from a bin and checks the order list once more before grabbing a meal tray. He's served the first row when Usopp returns, and in record time all the officers are digging into their lunches.
They then make their way down to the aft galley and start loading the entree boxes from the ovens into the trolleys. Usopp rolls the beverage cart up to the front rows with Sanji following behind with food, and sooner than he wants, they make it to the green bastard's row.
"Beef or noodles?"
No answer. Of course.
He looks up to the other man, knowing he won't be ignored. "Would you like the beef or the noodles, sir?"
"Can I get the beef, please?"
He grabs a gold foiled container and hands it with the tray to the Marine and looks down again. "And you?"
"W-what are the options?"
"Jesus fu- Beef with herbed potatoes or soy chicken with noodles? You have a menu." This asshole just had to piss him off.
"Uhhh…"
"Get the chicken," his seatmate says through a mouthful of … an entire bread roll.
"Yeah, that."
"Tsk." Sanji all but tosses the tray at him. He's about to say something about his shitty manners when hands from the rows ahead pop up with various sides from the meals; bread, salads and dessert being passed back to the freckled man seated at the window. Even the bane of this flight hands him his fruit bowl and chocolate bar. Sanji whips his head forward when he hears a shout.
"Oy, Portgas!" calls a pink haired Marine with a scar on his cheek. "Go long!"
"Go where?" is what Sanji hears next to him before the pink haired man chucks a bread roll across the cabin. Usopp turns just in time to duck out of the way with yelp, nearly spilling cola all over himself and the floor.
'Oh fuck no, not on my aircraft.'
"SIR," Sanji's eyes grow wide with anger and if it weren't for the trolleys blocking his path, he would have marched over there and stomped the reckless man back into his seat. "There will be no throwing of any items whatsoever aboard this flight. Would you like to be reported to your major?"
The Marine holds his hands up and apologizes sheepishly before sitting back down. Sanji can hear him and the other pastel haired marines sitting next to him snickering. Sanji turns back to the ravenhead marine who's looking incredibly guilty with his tray table suddenly piled with twice as much food.
"I am so very sorry, sir. Everyone usually gives me their extras. I didn't expect anyone to throw them."
" Enough . That is thrice now I've had to deal with you. One more and I will be informing Major Smoker." Points a stern finger at the marine's nose; throwing all professionalism and manners out the damn window.
"Yessir." The man returns to his mountain of food and continues eating. The green haired lump, on the other hand, hasn't even opened his entree yet and Sanji finds him staring yet again with the corner of his lips slightly curling upwards.
"Is something funny?"
"N-no. Nothing." He continues to stare with that stupid lopsided smirk but Sanji is suddenly too tired to argue with him so he turns around to face a blue striped hood, pointed sideburns, and flaming red hair.
"Beef or noodles?"
"Why do I always get the shit end of the stick with your antics?"
"Excu~se me?" Ace says around a mouthful of salad with way too much dressing. "I didn't do anything . Blame Fullbody and his stupid ass for Romeo not noticing you. Not like you're actually making an effort, really."
Zoro stabs the silver foil of his meal with his fork and rips it open. Steam wafts out and the smell of sesame and garlic tickles his nose. The chicken is shiny with charred bits of soy sauce on the edges. He stabs a piece, takes a bite and hums "Fucking A, yes."
"Told you." Ace generously butters a third roll. "Unlike you, I actually read the menu. Knew you'd like that."
"Mm, thanks. But fuck , when was the last time we had good food? I'm sick of MREs, and the crap Carne and Patty put out in the chow hall is exactly that. Utter fucking crap ."
"Yeah, my stomach's still messed up from the 'tacos' they served last week. And where the fuck do they even get the lettuce?."
Zoro's meal even comes with edamame and he almost wants to cry with joy. Two weeks. Two whole weeks, he can choose his meals and actually get something decent for a change. But fuck, it was only two weeks. He understands why they can't get longer leaves but it still sucks that the time he has to spend with his little brother is so limited. He's going to have as much fun with Chopper as he can.
The cabin starts to shake, gently at first, but then it turns violent. There's a curse behind him and he turns to see a large water bottle pouring all over someone he can't see and the long-nose flight attendant frantically apologizing, trying to clean up the spill. The turbulence gets rougher and a series of loud dings come from the speakers.
"Buckle up, everyone. Looks like we've got some suuuper turbulence. Please stay seated with your seat belts fastened, and we'll be out of these prevailing winds suuuper soon."
A long while after, as the worst of the turbulence subsides, the cabin crew return to collect the meal trays. Ace's is so full with trash that Sanji has to rearrange it several times just to get it to fit into the cart shelves, and the freckled blackhole still has a handful of chocolates and bread left on his tray table.
"Excuse me, Sanji." Ace says, no doubt going to ask for leftovers. "Quick question; are you single?"
Zoro spits out his green tea. He had not expected that .
Sanji gives the tray one last slap and it's finally in the cart. "Pardon, I didn't hear you."
"My friend here was wondering if you were single." Ace slaps a hand on said friend's shoulder and Zoro cringes hard. He feels his face turn red as his brow furrows into a deep scowl.
Sanji stares. His eyes blank and his mouth a straight line. He puts his hand on his hip and cocks an eyebrow. "Are you two mocking me?"
"NO! Oh God, no!" Zoro practically shouts, his hand reaching back to viciously grip the idiot top's thigh. He hears a small whine but he never takes his eyes off the blond. "Just ignore him, he is very, very, stupid." He squeezes the leg in his hand harder.
"I have to serve the other passengers, so…" He nods at them with a very unimpressed smile and turns away with a scowl.
"Why The Fuck Did You Do That?!" He's been scream-whispering a lot on this flight.
"Like you were ever going to ask him yourself. You're so helpless with these kinds of things." Ace slathers butter on yet another roll and shoves it into his mouth. "The only thing you know how to do is drink and fight."
"Fuck you, Portgas." He really wants to look back at the flight attendant again but he resists in favor of cleaning the spittle from his tray table.
"He didn't say 'no',"
"What?"
"He didn't say he wasn't single." Ace cleans his mouth and neatly stacks all his trash, shoving pieces of chocolate into his pocket to save for later. "That's a good thing. You're a gunny; go shoot your shot"
Zoro glares into his cup, searching for answers in the pale green liquid; receiving none.
It's after a long while that Zoro gathers up the now sleeping man's cups and wrappers, and he stands, making his way to the back of the plane where he finds both flight attendants finishing up their own meals. The longnose man smiles at him, taking the trash and throwing it away before making his way out of the kitchen area. "I'm gonna check on the officers, Sanji."
"Alright." On the other side of the space, Sanji is sliding a bin of napkins back into the cabinet but he doesn't see the Marine as his view is covered by the metal door. He closes it and is taken aback by Zoro's presence; face dropping into a glare. "Can I help you?"
"Hi." Zoro gives him a small smile. 'Shit, now what do I do?'
"Need something?"
"Uh no, not particularly." 'C'mon man, say something smooth.'
"Lavatories are vacant."
"That's not why I came back here."
Sanji stares back at him with a suspicious look. "Then why are you here?"
"Uhhh…" Zoro scratches the back of his head. 'Yeah, that was totally smooth.' Ace was right, he's really bad at these kinds of things.
Sanji huffs and Zoro watches the blond tap the tip of his shoe behind him. "How did you enjoy your meal, lost moss?"
"Wha-?" Zoro says, lifting up his head. That was definitely more than three words.
"Did you like the food?"
Zoro smiles widely. "Oh yeah. It was great. Best meal I've had in a long time."
Sanji smiles and holy fucking shit, he is twenty times more gorgeous when he smiles. "Good. I'll tell the old man."
"The captain?"
"No, my old man. My dad. He's the executive chef and head of menu development for Air Cuisine. That's where airplane food comes from. We, ahem, came up with the chicken marinade ourselves." He had a small proud smile curling at his lips. Goddamn, he's so cute.
"Really? So you made that?" Damn, he's hot and he can cook? Zoro feels luckier and luckier the more he learns about the sexy flight attendant.
"Well, no. Not that particular batch, but we did work on it together at home and he brought it in for the team to try. It was a success."
"Would have been really good with a fried egg, too." Zoro offers and it makes Sanji smile. His ego inflates a bit, maybe this will go well.
"Yeah, we thought of that, too, but," He slides his hands into his pockets and gives a small shrug. "Budget cuts."
"Ah." Zoro doesn't know where to take the conversation next so he kind of just loiters and pokes at the counter, finger tracing the service carts where they're locked into the spaces.
"Don't touch that." Ah, back to three words again. There's gotta be a way to save this conversation.
"Uh, do you like being a flight attendant?" God, that question is stupid. He is stupid.
"Mm, it has its perks. Travel around the world, meet interesting people, free trips, good food ." He laughs and damn, does Zoro love his laugh.
"Sounds like fun."
"What about you? As a Marine? Does being a gunnery sergeant have its perks as well?" Shit, he even knew his rank. Well, Sanji's probably met thousands of Marines by now and learned all the uniform insignias but still. Zoro couldn't help but be impressed.
"Well, it is what it is. You do what you're told, get the job done, keep everyone safe. I got to go to college for free, so that's cool." He shrugs, he doesn't find himself to be special. He's proud to serve and it's as simple as that.
"C'est comme ça ." The other man says with a smile.
"What's that mean?"
"It is what it is."
"I thought that was 'c'est la vie'."
Sanji chuckles and the sound makes Zoro smile wider. "That means, 'such is life', but yeah, pretty much the same."
"Well, you're the expert." He points to the French flag pin on the blond's lapel. Sanji's eyes follow his finger and he nods. The little pin shines in the overhead lights and right next to it is the pride flag from earlier.
"So~" Zoro's treading in dark water now. There's only two ways this can go; yes or no, sink or swim. "About earlier. Are yo- are you single?" There, he said it.
Sanji's smile disappears. Zoro isn't sure how to read that and his heart is pounding in his chest. Here it comes; sink or swim.
"Why?"
Okay, so now there's a third option.
Why? Well, now how the hell is he supposed to answer that correctly? 'Because I'm interested in you and I want to know more about you? Because you're really hot and I want to know what you taste like? Because from the moment I saw you, I couldn't stop thinking about you even though that was only like 2 hours ago'
"Well, ya know." Zoro shrugs and god he fucking sucks at this. He sucks his lip between his teeth and smiles sheepishly. "Just… curious… Interested."
The blond doesn't meet his eyes and he hates it. This wasn't sink or swim. This was being face down in a shallow puddle. He's regretting everything and begins to stutter when Sanji speaks again.
"The seat belt sign is still on."
"So? The plane's not shaking."
"You should still get back to your seat." Sanji says, turning back to the counter, and writes on a pad hanging on the wall.
Drake suddenly appears beside him and enters the bathroom. Zoro tries to push it further. "He's not in his seat."
"Yeah well, he's going to the lavatory. You're being a nuisance."
"How am I being a nuisance? We're just talking."
" No , you're disturbing me while I'm trying to work ." There's a bit of sass in his tone and that's got to be a good sign right?
"I thought you were on break."
"There's only two of us serving; there is no break."
Zoro doesn't say anything, but he also makes no move to leave.
"Well?"
Zoro sucks on his bottom lip and looks at something on the ceiling above the other man's head. It's such a nice ceiling. "I … don't want to."
"You're a stubborn bastard, aren't you?"
"That's what my CO says." Zoro smirks.
Sanji turns back to face him, arms crossed with his head tilted and a scowl on his handsome face. "If you don't sit your stubborn ass down now, I am going to take my freshly polished shoe and kick you so hard in your fucking teeth that the only fucking sound you'll ever fucking hear is those pearly whites gnawing on your tiny little brain."
Fucking hell. Hot, can cook, understands job priorities, has a filthy mouth and he can fight. Zoro doesn't believe in soulmates but this man could definitely make him a believer.
Zoro's smile grows wide in giddiness, "I'd actually like to see that." He isn't goding, he is genuinely curious at the idea of seeing the blond fight, but his smirk slowly falls and his eyes go wide as he watches Sanji so effortlessly bend his knee and extend his long, oh so long leg up, the tip of his shoe grazing the ceiling of the space. The man doesn't even have to hold anything for support. God damn, this man was perfect.
"Sit. The fuck. Down." A roll of turbulence shakes the plane but Sanji doesn't lose balance in the least.
Zoro doesn't say a word as he gawks at the man's flexibility. Sanji clicks his tongue and brings the leg back down. Zoro takes this as the end of their conversation and turns around. He makes his way back over to Ace. He's silent as he sits, mouth still open as he stares blankly at the TV.
"What happened?" Ace mumbles, Zoro plopping down into the seat next to him had jostled him awake.
"I think I'm in love with him."
"Say what now?"
Without answering, Zoro reaches up and pushes the call light in the ceiling. In no time at all the blond man is standing next to him.
"Whaddaya want now, mossy?" Mossy? That's new, but damn he's sassy.
"Your number?" Damn it all, single or not he's going for it. No stopping now.
" Pardon? " Sanji's eyebrows raise and his voice cracks a bit.
"Your phone number," the green headed marine repeats, a hopeful smile on his lips.
"Excuse me?" Sanji's hand comes up to pinch the bridge of his nose, frustration growing on his face.
"I mean, it's a simple question." Zoro shrugs.
"And why exactly?"
"I'm gonna need it if I'm gonna make you my husband, right?"
"WHAT!"
