22.2.2022

Hi everyone, this is your captain speaking. Pardon the delays. This one was a struggle to write and it ended being way too long and way too angsty than what I planned for. This is unbetaed and semi-rushed. I have a wedding to attend in a few hours and I wanted this airborne before then. Please inform the cabin crew (comments) if some things don't follow or if there are any other mistakes and I'll have this edited soon. Happy travels and enjoy the flight~

Who is this idiot? Husband? As in married? He wants to marry me? Is he out of his goddamn mind?!

Sanji scrubs his hand vigorously under the tap. The green headed jackass just had to try to make a fool out of him, and Sanji wasn't going to stand for that. After his big announcement, anyone within earshot who hadn't been sleeping or engrossed with their movie turned their head to stare. It took all but two seconds before the cabin erupted; some cheering their congratulations while others gave exclamations of confusion and disbelief. The man stared back at him expectantly but Sanji cursed and turned heel, marching straight for the forward galley.

Sanji slams his wet hands on the tiny sink with a curse. His head throbs with a blooming migraine and no amount of deep breathing was helping it subside. He doesn't need this; he's stressed out enough as it is. And now grass for brains wants to play games. He can't even think of reasons why the Marine was so interested, or what he had done to warrant this much attention. His chest clenches and his gut twists, lips curling into a pinched grimace. It was too much.

A soft knock on the door tears him away from his dark thoughts. "Sanji?" It's Usopp. He more than likely found out what had happened and was checking on the blond.

Sanji squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath. "Yeah, Usopp. Gi-give me a minute. I'll be out."

"Okay. Do you need anything?"

"No. No, I'm fine." Sanji stares at himself in the mirror and sighs. His eyes are already turning dark and heavy with bags. He turns the tap back on and splashes cold water on his face. "Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about him."

He continues his mantra until his heartbeat slows back to a normal rhythm. He rips a fistful of paper towels out of their holder and dries his face, fringe and the counter before smoothing out his uniform and opens the lavatory door. Outside, his cohort waits with worried eyes.

"Hey, are you alright?" Usopp approaches but stops a foot away. "I heard what happened."

Of course he did. Sanji shakes his head, "Just forget about that, Usopp. It's nothing."

"That's not what I'm worried about, though." He takes in the blond's bloodshot eyes and tired expression, and frowns. "Sanji, what's going on? You've been in a mood the whole flight and I know it isn't just because some guy made a pass at you."

Sanji stays silent and stares at the coffee maker behind the other man. "I should make more coffee," he says, gently passing Usopp in the narrow galley.

"C'mon, we tell each other everything," the other man turns to look at him with pleading eyes. "What is it?"

Sanji drops a new bag of grounds into the hopper, slams it closed and jabs the start button. He stares down at the steel counter and sighs. "He called me."

"How could he do that?" Usopp asks, head tilted in confusion.

Sanji rubs the heels of his hands into his eyes. "He called me. When we took off."

Usopp stares still but his whole body straightens and mouth opens when he realizes what the blond is talking about. "Wh- what? How did he find you? How did he get your number?"

Sanji scowls and pinches the bridge of his nose with both hands, "I don't know. I- Just- Ugh. Just don't worry about it for now.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll figure it out later. Let's just get back to work." Sanji moves to return to the aft galley when Usopp lifts his arm to stop him.

"Wait... I'll take the main cabin. You stay up here."

"Usopp, it's okay. I'll be fi-" Sanji starts but is interrupted.

"No. I got it."

"But there's nearly a hundred of them." Sanji protests.

"I-i-it's okay. I-I can handle it." The younger man stutters a bit but he has a look of determination in his eyes that tells Sanji he can trust his word. He always could.

"Okay. But call me when those idiots give you any trouble…"

"Yes sir ." Usopp mock salutes and disappears behind the leans against the counter, listening to the percolator sputter as the scent of fresh coffee fills the air.

'At least now I don't have to see the human cabbage.'

The flight continues, uneventfully thank god. An hour after splitting up, Sanji goes to the back to check on Usopp, and finds him and most, if not all the Marines - including the irritating moss - fast asleep. Not wanting to disturb the resting man, he sits in his own jumpseat by the forward door, sends a few text messages and serves drinks to the cockpit crew. After another hour or so, he returns once more to the back and finds his cohort sitting in the jumpseat, playing a game on his phone. Sanji watches silently behind him as the character on the screen shoots flaming blue arrows at a monster and Usopp fist pumps when the creature dies.

"Nice shot."

Usopp jumps and nearly drops his phone. "Oh hey, don't sneak up on me like that. You know my 'Can't-Handle-Being-Snuck-Up-On-In-A-Plane-Full-Of-Scary-Marines-itis will act up and I will surely die."

"Sorry," Sanji chuckles. "We should get started on snack service soon. I already have everything in the ovens in the front."

Usopp nods and pockets his phone. They make quick work of heating up an army's worth - or rather, a company's worth - of sandwiches and the cabin lights turn on. Sanji grabs the PA handset and announces the mid-flight snack service, promptly waking up dozens of Marines. Several stand up to stretch while others use the lavatories. They serve the Plus section promptly, and as soon as all are seated and the aisle is clear, the two make their way with the trolleys and begin serving the main cabin.

They pass out sandwiches, drinks and little cups of vanilla ice cream, and once again, for the Nth time this flight, they reach the green haired monstrosity.

"Turkey or chickpea?"

The monstrosity in question rubs sleep from his eyes and smiles contently at the blond. "Man, I could get used to waking up looking at you."

"Do you want a sandwich or not?" Sanji grimaces.

The man stretches, stupid smile still on his face and blinks up at him. "What kind ya got?"

"Turkey and provolone on a pretzel bun, or a chickpea patty with tomato on sourdough." Sanji can feel his molars wearing down every time he speaks to the Marine.

"Hmmm, which one's good?"

The nerve of this asshole. "Both. Of. Them."

That stupid ridiculous smile spreads on that stupid ridiculous face. "I'll have the chickpea," he sighs heavily and pulls down his tray.

Sanji drops the sandwich before it's completely down and turns to the ravenhead who has the audacity to ask for two sandwiches; not that Sanji denies such a request. Usopp hands them their ice cream and root beers, and they begin to pull away before the Marine calls over his shoulder.

"Thanks, babe."

Sanji freezes. He slowly turns his head to look at the man, ready to kick him back down to solid ground but Usopp gets his attention. The man gives him a look that's both in concern and a warning, and with a sigh, he ignores the living moss.

They've been in the air for nearly eight hours now and Sanji already feels like he's worked a double longhaul shift. He feels drained, physically and mentally, and all he wants is to get home and speak with his father.


"Hey there." Zoro smiles up at the blond who came down the aisle to collect trash. The man scowls and rests a fist on his hip.

"I have a question for you." Yes, the man's interested in him now. "Are you stupid?"

Oh, well. Hadn't expected that. Zoro hums and smiles. "Nope. I don't believe I am, no."

"Well, you should start," Sanji spits back. He can't really explain why, but Zoro ust loves the way the man retorts with fire. This is starting to turn into a weird turn-on.

"So, about that number," Zoro presses.

"Yer not gettin' it."

"Why not?" It's not fair. He wants the man to give in and just accept his feelings but at the same time, arguing with him is just too much fun.

"Shut up." The blond raises his eyes to Ace behind him, "and you . Did you set him up to this?"

Ace's face scrunches in bewilderment, "I didn't do anything. He's the one with no filter."

Zoro rolls his eyes and grins back up at the blond. "What's with the attitude? Has no one ever flirted with you before?"

"Flirting ; you call that flirting?" Sanji's voice raises and some Marines turn to watch them.

"Sanji , hang on." The other flight attendant, whose name he still doesn't know, wears a worried face as he appears from behind the blond.

"We've completely left the neighborhood of flirting the moment you dove head first into marriage proposal," he practically shouts.

Fair point. "Well, what can I say? I like what I see."

"You're incorrigible." Sanji's lower up juts out and his nose wrinkles.

"And you're very handsome." It's true. Even with a look of pure disgust, the man is strikingly beautiful.

"Jesus fuck, will you stop?"

"I don't want to. Not until I get your number."

Sanji pinches the bridge of his nose. "Fucking hell. Your brain's so full of shit, you've got weeds growing out of your skull."

"Excuse me?" the marine laughs.

"Ah, let me explain. Your hair's green and shit is a very good fertilizer, moss for brains."

Zoro licks his lips and stands, "You've got a nasty mouth. I like that."

The flight attendant squares his shoulders. "Sit your ass back down before I kick you down."

That piques Zoro's interest tenfold. "Oh. You think you can take me?"

"I know I can and you will lose." The long nose flight attendant interjects again but he is ignored once more.

"Let's go then."

"Fuck you." The blond throws the trash bag down and widens his stance.

Zoro's blood boils with excitement. He's going to get to see more of the man's leg work and any thought of this biting him in the ass escapes his mind. He slowly reaches a hand out but Sanji swiftly jumps back and raises a knee.

He swipes out again but the blond turns and before he can react, there's a swift kick to the side of his thigh. Zoro's eyebrows furrow, 'How did he get me without kicking a seat? There's hardly any room!'

The cabin starts to erupt as more and more Marines start cheering and egging them on.

Ace climbs up on the seat, arms waving in the air. "Whoa ho! C'mon boys! Place your bets, are you for our very own demon hunter or the foul-mouth blondie?"

Everyone's shouting and hands go up with various amounts of cash. Ace, along with Yosaku and Johnny, eagerly collects them all and soon enough their fingers are filled with folded bills.

He chuckles and shoots a fist out to Sanji's chest, but he smoothly leans backward and brings a hard knee into Zoro's exposed elbow.

"Fuck!" He rubs the tingle out and cocks an eyebrow at the blond. "Ow?"

"Good. Give up?"

Zoro's grin returns. "In your dreams curly."

"Excuse you?!" Sanji scowls.

"What? You mock my hair, I mock your face. Your very good looking face." Zoro blocks the dress shoe to his temple with his forearm and goddamn did that kick have a lot of power behind it. The blond was sexy and strong; two of Zoro's favorite things in a man.

They exchange more blows but Sanji is so fast and nimble that he's able to dodge most of them. Zoro is only able to land a couple of hits to the man's ribs and shin but the latter was only because Zoro had aimed for his gut and the blond lifted his knee to block it. Zoro can feel bruises blooming on his hips, calves and shoulder, and while everything is starting to hurt, he's only getting more fired up.

Sanji aims another kick for his head. He spins and the foot flies over a group of marines' heads, and if Zoro was too distracted by the blond's dexterity, the heel of that shoe would have landed on his temple. Luckily though, he isn't and he catches the man's ankle just in time, landing a punch to his inner thigh. He grins devilishly as they make eye contact, but this time he does get distracted and takes a knee to the sternum. His loosened grip allows Sanji to move with the momentum and the blond back flips back onto his feet.

Zoro would be lying if he said he wasn't turned on right now.

There's a shout from the front of the plane and the curtain is ripped to the side. The entire cabin freezes and several Marines, including Zoro, stand at attention.

Mejor Smoker stomps his way towards them with an angry looking redhead and a terrified flight attendant behind him. Apparently, the long nosed fellow had gone and called for them.

"Put those phones away and delete that!" It was only then that Zoro realized a bunch of people had their cellphones out and had been recording them. "If I catch any one of you with a video, I'm going to see to it that all of you brats only get LWOP from now on!"

They all scramble, obey the order and put their phones away. When everyone has sat down he turns back to the two.

"Just want in righteous fuck do you think you two are doing?!"

Before they can answer, the redheaded woman squeezes past the officer and juts a finger in the blond's face. "Sanji! You're supposed to be in charge here and take control of any unruly behavior, not start it!"

The blond's shoulders sag, "I'm sorry, Officer Nami," he says dejectedly.

The co-pilot, Zoro realizes, yells in frustration and stomps her foot. "Ughh! How do you want me to explain this to the captain, huh?"

"I don't know, ma'am."

"Sergeant Portgas!"

"Yes Smoker sir!" The freckled man stands at attention by his seat.

"Hand it over, brat."

"Hand what over, sir?"

"Don't play with me, pissant. Want me to tell Garp what happened in Nanohana?"
Ace's eyes go wide, but he makes no move."

"NOW PORTGAS!"

"Ghh- sir!" He hands over the stack of cash that he had collected from the other marines, who all groan at the sudden loss of their bets.

"Shut it!" Smoker barks. "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes." He counts the cash and hums. "I can get the missus something nice with this. Now cut it out. All of you." looking pointedly at Ace. His company is full of idiots.

A tall man with styled blue hair emerges through the bulkhead, "In the cockpit, now please."

The four of them follow him to the front of the plane. "Nami, wait out here." The co-pilot obeys, waiting beside a young pink haired man and Mr. Long Nose in the kitchen area, and the four men enter the cockpit.

Zoro and Sanji stand quietly by the door.

"What in the hell is wrong with you two?" Smoker asks.

Sanji is quiet, staring at the floor. Zoro can see his face is dark, his shoulders droop in defeat, his entire body language screaming exhaustion and disappointment.

Smoker asks them again and the blond begins to open his mouth when Zoro answers.

"It's my fault." Sanji looks back at him with confused eyes but Zoro ignores him. "I started it."

"Roronoa, you fucking jackass, You're in line for platoon leader; you know better than to start petty shit like a pisstained brat. Do you realize how screwed you are when Sanji here presses charges?!"

"I'm not."

All eyes fall on the blond, whose face is still hidden behind a curtain of yellow locks. "What?"

He lifts his head and looks the Major in the eyes. "I'm not going to press charges."

"Are you sure bro," Captain Franky asks, "you got hit pretty bad."

Zoro scoffs silently, he got hit more than the blond did. He hadn't expected him to put up such a good fight. Shame, though, that they got interrupted.

"Yes, I'm sure." The blond runs fingers those his haired and sighs. "Can you just get this over with?"

"I don't think you understand how in serious donkey shit you two are." Smoker says.

"What if we both apologize and forget it ever happened." Zoro suggests.

"You can't just ignor-"

"I agree." Sanji interrupts the major.

Smoker reads his expression and looks over at the fifth man in the room. "What do you think?"

"Hmmm…" General Donquixote hums as he sits quietly in seat off to the side of the room, fiddling an e-cigarette between his fingers. "Well. If both agree to it, I don't see why we have to report anything. It's just more paperwork for us and the airlines anyway. Is that alright with you, Franky?"

The captain gives the two troublemakers a once over and secedes. "Alright. It's a good thing we're bros, Rosi." He claps a heavy hand on the battle scarred Marine's shoulder. "But you gotta stop vaping in my lavatory."

"Fine." The general smiles, lips stretching out wide.

Zoro looks at them confused. "Wait, aren't we being recorded on that black box thing?"

"No," Franky answers. "Only the last two hours of the flight are recorded, but I can turn it on or off at any time. We're suuuper fine."

Zoro nods and turns to open the door. "Hold it right there, marine."

"Yes general, sir?" Zoro straightens.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" The older blond raises an eyebrow, making the permanent bruise under his eye wrinkle.

Zoro looks around the room, Sanji also has an expression of mild confusion on his face. "Uhhh…"

"Apologize, you jackasses!" Smoker roars. The two jump and turn to one another.

"I apologize." Zoro says.

"Yeah," Sanji returns.

"Sanji," Franky warns.

"I apologize," Sanji gives in.

They shake hands and turn back to their commanding officers. Zoro promptly feels like a little kid that got in trouble with his parents and kindergarten teacher.

"You gonna pull that shit again?"

"No, captain," they say in unison.

"Good. Now get the hell outta my cockpit."

The blond stays behind in the front kitchen as Zoro walks back to his seat. As he pushes through the curtain he hears giggles coming from a pair of pink haired idiots.

"Here comes the bride~ All dressed in camo~" they sing.

"What? Why am I the bride?"

"Cuz you got yer ass handed to ya, duh," the spectacled marine snickers.

"Whatever, Jango." Zoro sighs and makes his way back to his seat. He slouches deep into the cushions, thankful for the extra legroom the exit row provides him. He feels Ace shift next to him and sees two shadows pop up above him.

"You fucked up, bro." Yosaku says.

"Big time." Johnny adds.

"Leave me alone, dammit." Zoro sinks some more and pulls his jacket collar over his nose.

"You should have given up sooner, Roro." Ace chides.

"Excuse me? You were the one that said, 'well, he didn't say no.' That's what you said!"

Ace raises his hands in surrender. "I'm sorry, hey. I didn't know he was going to be a drama queen jeez."

Johnny hums above him. "Yeah, he's a moody little blond, ain't he?"

"No, I don't think that's it." Zoro ponders. Sanji's expressions through the flight have been getting darker and heavier, and it can't be just because of Zoro's advances. Not much he could do about it now, though.

He's about to nod off when navy blue clad hips pass his vision and he sits up to see the blond go into the back of the plane. He thinks about his next course of actions and stands up.

"Hey, Smoker's going to have your ass." Ace comments, eyes not leaving the game on his phone.

"I'm not gonna do anything, just chill." Zoro walks down the aisle and enters the kitchen, finding the blond flight attendant staring at a chart on the wall.

"Hey, I want to apologize."

Sanji, looking like he's been to hell and back just stares back at him unamused.

"Look, I mean it."

"Sure." Sanji leans his hip on the counter.

Zoro loiters a bit, not really sure what to do now. "That, uh, fight was pretty fun. You got some skills. Where'd you learn that?"

Sanji doesn't meet his eyes, nor does he answer the question. "You weren't so bad, yourself," is all he offers.

Zoro hums and nods. This isn't going anywhere. "Ya know, you can just say you're not interested and I'll leave you alone."

Sanji slowly turns away and stays silent for a long moment. "If you don't need anything, please go back to your seat."

Zoro complies and returns to his row, sitting down as Ace side eyes him. "Gonna give up, yet?"

'He still didn't say 'no'.'

"I don't know if I can."