Raile Jackson had a slight, inconsequential problem. Well, maybe not so slight and inconsequential, given that the problem himself was six foot four and well over a hundred pounds, but he was still a problem.
Maxwell Heyman, formerly known as Maxwell Jacob Friedman. Former jackass extraordinaire, now seemingly changed with the newfound proclamation that he was her best friend's long-lost brother.
And hadn't that news gone off like a goddamn nuke drop? Suddenly she was seeing him every time she visited Elena and her boyfriend, Jake Parnell, and Max was a completely different person.
It threw her for a loop, and she wasn't sure how to act around him anymore. Before all of this, they had both hated each other with an intensity only rivaled by the Heymans and the McMahons, and here Max was, as sweet as could be. Part of her wanted to ask him when the joke was going to be over, but she trusted Elena and Paul with her life. So, despite her reservations, she still joined Elena, Jake and Paul for dinner every Saturday.
She arrived promptly at five-thirty and knocked on the door, smiling politely when Max opened it for her.
"Hey, Raile, good to see you," he smiled brightly at her, and she found herself looking into his eyes for longer than a brief second before she responded.
"Hey, Max. I brought a coffee cake this time," she said while holding up the bag, and he moved to the side so she could come in.
"You keep bringing desserts for us and I'm going to have to tack on extra gym time to my routine," he joked, causing her to snort as she walked in.
"You say that like you're not in there most of the day," she retorted, setting the bag on the counter and shrugging off her jacket which was covered in snow.
"Fair point," he shrugged, taking her jacket from her. "But then again, so are you, so that doesn't really leave room for you to talk, does it?"
"I guess not, but I didn't get the chance to go today with this damn blizzard that we're in," she said with a shrug, sitting on the couch. "I'm lucky I was able to make it here for dinner, honestly. Where is everyone else, anyway?"
"Elena and Jake got snowed in at his mom's, and Dad can't drive on the road with the traffic ban, so he's staying the night at his office," Max said. "They told me to call you and tell you not to come, but I didn't have your number. I'm sorry."
"So it's just you and me here?", she asked him as she relaxed against the couch. "That's fine, I guess. It just means we can eat cake and hang out, and I can finally figure out whether this is some elaborate joke that everyone's playing on me."
He glanced up at her, looking slightly wounded and taken aback.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that I don't believe that you're Elena's brother," she said bluntly, never one to sugarcoat her feelings. "I don't know what kind of joke this is, but it's very elaborate. Not very funny, honestly, but elaborate."
Max's eyes grew dark and stormy, and she briefly wondered if he was going to yell at her as he stared her down.
"It's not a joke," he snapped. "I didn't know anything until I bumped into Elena and Paul at a house show and Paul looked like he'd seen a ghost. I spent twenty-four years of my life thinking that my father was the man who raised me, and you think it's a joke? You think that my mother lying to me and controlling me my entire life is just some prank I came up with to pull on you? Hate to break it to you, Raile Jackson, but you're not that special," he spat.
She winced slightly at the dark tone in his voice and realized that she'd crossed a line.
"I'm sorry," she said as she ran a hand over her hair. "I didn't mean...I wasn't trying to say all of that. I just meant that well, you and I have known each other a while and all that time, you've been a massive douchebag. And then seemingly overnight you stop being said douchebag. It's just caught me off guard and I don't know how to adjust. I'm sorry, Max."
He stared at her and she lowered her eyes, taking a deep breath.
"I shouldn't have come over; I'm still unsettled around you and it's not fair to you to have to deal with it. You can keep the coffee cake," she blathered as she stood up, reaching for her jacket that was still in his hands.
Max yanked the jacket away and pinched his nose with his free hand.
"Maybe if I explained it to you, it would make sense, yeah?", he said quietly as he stood up and dropped the jacket on the couch. "You don't have to leave, just...just let me make coffee and I'll explain everything. Elena would kill me if I made you leave in this weather."
"Are you sure?", she asked. "I don't want to intrude if you don't want me here, really, it's fine."
"Just sit on the couch, Raile," he muttered as he headed into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. He shouldn't have felt so frustrated and offended with her, but it did hurt quite a bit that she thought the upheaval of his life was just some big joke.
Then again, he supposed he could see the argument that she only knew MJF, and that did seem like something he would have done before he found out he was a Heyman. So, he couldn't be too upset with her.
He poured them both a cup of coffee, adding cream and sugar to both cups and cutting them each a slice of cake, carrying all of it back out to the living room.
"I don't know exactly how you take your coffee, but I figured you're one of the people that likes it with extra cream and sugar," he shrugged, handing over her mug and plate and smiling politely.
"I do, actually," she smiled back as she took a sip. "Thank you, Max, that's nice of you."
"I can be nice, actually," he smirked at her. "It honestly gets tiring being such a dick all the time."
"And here I was thinking you enjoyed it," she laughed, taking a bite of the cake.
"No, not really," he admitted. "But my mother thought it would be good for my career if I was a heel all the time. I personally hate it, because it means everyone avoids me and I have no friends, so I'm trying to change that about me."
She gave him a considering look as she ate her cake, shrugging her shoulders.
"Well, I suppose if you're serious about changing your ways, then I can set aside my doubts and give you the benefit of the doubt."
Max actually gave her a genuine smile, and she felt her heart do a tiny backflip for reasons she couldn't quite understand and didn't want to voice.
"I really do regret all of the animosity we have," he said gently, slowly sipping his coffee and relaxing against the arm of the couch. "You're tremendously talented in the ring, and you have a lot of character outside of it too. I don't know why I was so hell-bent on being so terrible to you."
"Honestly, it's fine," she told him with a reassuring smile. "I don't actually care if people like me or not, my only concern is being the best that I can in the ring. Making friends is just an added benefit."
Raile took another sip of coffee and cleared her throat.
"You said you were going to explain?"
"Yes," he nodded, staring down into his cup of coffee and taking a deep breath.
"I bumped into Elena at the last show that Jake and I did together, and we looked so similar that Jake made the joke we could be siblings. I laughed it off, of course, because I assumed it was just a joke, until Elena just didn't stop staring at me and then introduced me to Dad. And then, when I met him, he stared at me like he'd seen several ghosts and asked who my mother was. When I told him, shit," he muttered quietly. "He told me that he'd met my mother back when he was still running ECW, and that he thought I could be his son. So, we did a DNA test, one of those ones you can buy online, and as you can see, I'm actually a Heyman. Honestly, it's really nice," he smiled. "I don't have to pretend anymore; I can just be Max Heyman."
"Well, I'm happy for you," she smiled at him. "You have a good family, and it's obviously doing you a lot of good, so I'm happy for you. And if you're serious about turning around, then I have your back. I hope that other people can see that you're serious too."
"Thank you," he smiled back. "That really means a lot to me, because I know that most people might be afraid of you but they still listen to what you have to say because of your talent and how you carry yourself. I would be honored for you to have my back."
"You don't have to sweet-talk me, I already said yes," she teased him. "It would be fun to form an alliance, don't you think? People would definitely start talking about you for a good reason."
"I suppose that's true," he nodded, giving her a playful smirk. "Are you sure your reputation can handle it?"
"Better question is can the fans handle it?", she shot back. "We've been at each other's throats for a year, it's going to be a huge shock to them when we suddenly don't want to kill each other."
"I never wanted to kill you," he admitted with a blush. "I respect you too much. And, you're sort of hot."
Raile choked on her coffee and spit it back into her cup, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow and a slack-jawed expression.
"Come again? You think I'm hot?"
"I said sort of hot," he protested, face going red as he looked away from her. "You wear those shorts and your tops are really tight and-"
"So you're paying attention to my gear choices?", she interrupted, smirking at him. "Wow, Max, I didn't know you were so interested."
"It's not like that," he half-whined, pouting at her. "I just like to watch your matches because you're good at wrestling. Like, really good."
"I'm sure," she grinned, leaning closer to him. "It's not because you think I'm sort of hot?"
"You're a bully," he huffed, folding his arms. "And besides, you don't like me."
She scooted closer to him, moving her hair out of her face and laughing softly.
"I didn't like Maxwell Jacob Friedman. However, Max Heyman seems to be pretty cool," she smiled brightly. "Tell me more about him."
"Yeah, I will," he smiled back nervously. "Just, would you excuse me for a second? These contacts are killing my eyes, I'd like to put my glasses on."
"It's your house, dude, do whatever," she nodded. "I'm going to step outside and have a cigarette."
"No, you can smoke in here," he said with a shake of his head, glancing around for the ashtray that his father kept for Jake and handing it to her. "It's too cold outside for you to be out there, and the snow is coming down really hard. You should stay inside."
"Okay," she nodded, accepting the ashtray and lighting a cigarette. "Go ahead and do what you need to do to be comfortable, man, I'll be fine here with my coffee and my cigarette."
He gave her another warm smile and headed upstairs to his room, changing into a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved thermal shirt, putting his contacts away and sliding his glasses on.
Briefly, he glanced at one of the throw blankets on his bed, wondering if he should bring it downstairs for her in case she got cold, and then figured that it wouldn't hurt to make sure.
So, he grabbed the blanket and tucked it under his arm before heading back downstairs.
"I brought you this in case you feel cold," he called to her as he came down the stairs, tossing the blanket on her and sitting on the couch. "I honestly don't know if the power is going to hold out any longer, the wind is terrible and-"
The lights cut out and Raile jumped slightly, moving closer to him and reaching for him in the dark.
"Yeah, I guess not," she responded, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders. "So, I really am stuck here then."
"Sorry," he winced as he wrapped an arm around her. "This might be some of the worst weather I've ever seen. I wish Elena had given me your number so I could tell you to stay home."
Raile shrugged and finished her cigarette, stubbing it out in the ashtray on her lap and kicking her shoes off to curl her feet under her.
"At least the fireplace isn't electric?", Max tried to smile. "I mean, we don't have much wood, but it might be enough to get us through tonight without freezing to death."
"And I have a lighter, so we could try it?", she nodded. "Maybe find some empty boxes and tear them up for kindling?"
"We have tons of snacks we can eat, so we can tear those boxes up," he suggested, and she smiled at him brightly.
"Good, because I'm getting hungry and it doesn't seem like we can cook anything for the foreseeable future. Got any beef jerky? We could heat that up and eat it with some mustard on some bread."
Max looked at her in horror and she frowned in confusion.
"What?"
"You want to eat beef jerky sandwiches?", he asked. "Heated up in the fireplace?"
"It's not the worst thing I've ever eaten," she shrugged, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders and using the flashlight of her phone to light her way into the kitchen. "You have jerky, right?"
"It's in the pantry, should be on your eye level," he called out as he got comfortable under the blanket and waited for her. "I'm pretty sure we have Twinkies in there too. And there's empty boxes in a bag near the trash can."
"Got it," she called back, putting some empty boxes into a plastic grocery bag and carrying it and the snacks back to him along with bread and mustard. "Now, what you do is you take this steak knife, right, and then you stab the jerky with it and hold it in the fire to cook it."
"But isn't jerky already cooked?", he asked as he watched her light the fireplace with an empty box and her lighter. "Why are we putting it in the fire?"
"To heat it up and make it taste better. Cold jerky is fine, but warm jerky is better," she chuckled. "I used to eat this a lot growing up in St. Louis, cause sometimes it was all I could get at the gas station, and I could only afford it by stealing change from my drunk foster parents."
"You were a foster kid?", he asked with a frown. "That must have sucked."
"Oh it did, it really did," she said, not wanting to go into too much detail as she sat cross-legged in front of the fire. "But I survived, as you can see, and Jake's amazing to me. He and his mom basically raised me; you know? He's my big brother, always has been since we were little kids wrestling in backyard leagues."
"Yeah, he mentioned that," Max nodded as he sat down next to her and took the knife that she offered, stabbing his own jerky and holding it in the fire. "I'm glad that you had him around, then. You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to."
Raile took a deep breath and put the jerky on her slice of bread, squirting mustard onto it and taking a bite as she considered whether or not she wanted to open up to him. Most of her life had already been discussed with Elena and Jake, and even briefly with Paul. Her mentor, Mark Calloway, even knew some of the barest details.
But Max was new, and there was a slight possibility that he could turn her away after hearing the gory details of her abuse. After hearing the things that she'd had to do in order to just simply stay alive and not give in to her own suicidal thoughts. That thought, for some reason, made her sad.
And it begged the question why? Why was she suddenly scared to open up to him for fear of losing something that didn't seem to be just simple friendship? Was there, potentially, a possibility of her feeling something more and not wanting to acknowledge it?
"Raile?", he asked gently as he slowly reached out to touch her arm, and she jolted back to reality and pressed her free hand into her eyes.
"Yeah?", she asked, throat suddenly tight and causing her voice to become strained. "Yeah, sorry, I just kind of got lost in my own head."
"Are you okay?", he frowned, anxiously fidgeting with the knife before handing it back to her. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. It's not my business."
"You didn't do anything," she reassured him, setting her snack aside and slowly rolling up her sleeves. "I just don't know where to start. There's so much that happened to me, it's hard to know where to begin with it all."
Max's gut clenched and he felt his eyebrows draw together, eyes trailing up her arms and seeing faint white lines and circles. He stared at her marked skin, caught somewhere between denial and sympathy, and waited.
"Anything you want to tell me, it's fine," he replied softly. "I can...I can see that it was a lot to deal with. I'm here to listen, just take your time and don't overwhelm yourself."
"It's all overwhelming, Max," she whispered thickly, taking stock of the road map on her skin. "Every single second of it, for as long and as far back as I can remember, is fucking overwhelming. I don't remember a time where I wasn't in some sort of pain, or in some sort of danger. My earliest memories are of someone yelling while I'm hiding in a closet, terrified out of my mind, holding my breath and praying that he doesn't find me. There are so many memories like that, of the same situations but the faces are different. That was my entire life until I hit about ten, and I could start sneaking out to get away from the yelling, and the beating, and the alcohol. That's how I met Jake, actually. I snuck out one day and was just walking around and I saw him practicing some elbow drops onto a stack of cardboard. It looked fun and I asked him to show me where he learned it."
She smiled softly, remembering the first time that she stayed over at Jake's house, and they stayed up all night watching wrestling.
"Our mom took one look at me and told me I could come over whenever I wanted, which was honestly the first and only time I'd ever had a mom in life," she admitted. "It was nice, and so I spent most of my time over there. I'm pretty sure I spent more nights at Jake's than at my foster home, because it was just so much calmer and I actually felt like a kid that somebody wanted."
Max's eyes widened, and he slowly set his food aside and pulled her into his arms, tucking her under his chin.
"I'm so sorry, Raile," he whispered. "You didn't deserve any of that, you deserved to be a kid and not have to worry about being hurt."
She stiffened in his arms, wrapping one of hers around his back and forcing herself to relax.
He wasn't going to hurt her, and she had to keep telling herself that it was okay to trust him and to let him touch her. It was just a hug; it wasn't like he was trying to put his hands all over her.
Slowly, her muscles relaxed and she closed her eyes as she took a deep breath.
"Thank you," she whispered, pulling back to look up at him. "I'm a lot better now, sixteen years after the fact, but it's still a work in progress."
"I can imagine it is, that's how my anxiety feels most of the time," he admitted to her, causing her to frown slightly.
"You too? But you seem so put together and relaxed all the time."
"I do, but that's only when the cameras are on," he shrugged. "Outside of that, dealing with my mother and her incessant need to control my every move so that I don't embarrass her? It's not very fun. That's why I moved in here, was to escape her."
"I'm sorry," she frowned. "I guess we both got the short end of the stick, huh?"
"Yeah," he nodded with a small shrug of the shoulders. "I guess we did."
Out of nowhere, Raile felt the sudden urge to kiss his frown away, and she backed away from him and wrapped her arms around herself.
"I should go," she said. "Now. I really need to leave before I do something that I don't think I'm ready for."
"What? What are you talking about?", Max frowned as he watched her stand up and grab her jacket and her purse. "Raile, what's wrong?"
"It's not you," she blurted, tugging her jacket on and backing toward the door. "I'm sorry, Max, I just can't do this."
"What's going on? What do you mean?", he said as he quickly stood up and moved to follow her, reaching for her hand. "Raile, what's wrong?"
She shook her head and opened the door, giving him a sad smile.
"I'm sorry. Thank you for listening to me, though, and for the coffee. Bye, Max."
He just stood there in confusion, and she turned away and ran for her truck to avoid seeing the hurt in his eyes.
Her phone wouldn't stop ringing. Elena and Jake had made it back home, and she knew that Max had confided in his sister about what had happened. That's why Elena kept calling her, and when she couldn't get through the calls from Jake began.
But Raile just laid in bed, alone, terrified to answer her phone and even more terrified to voice her thoughts aloud.
She hadn't cried this hard in a decade, but her heart was breaking inside with the newfound knowledge that she felt something for Max. And that was what truly scared her, the fear of letting him inside and giving him access to all of her, of giving him the freedom to hurt her if he so chose.
But even so, she still went to work and wrestled the shows she was scheduled for, doing everything that she could to avoid Max, and even avoiding Elena and her own brother.
It worked for a few days until finally Jake had enough and walked into her locker room, locking the door behind him and grabbing a chair to sit in, staring her down with worry.
"What happened, Raile?"
She looked away from him and folded her arms, refusing to speak, and Jake rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Listen, Hellraiser, I'm not stupid. I know that something happened between you and Max and that's why you haven't been talking to any of us. But god damn it, whatever this is has to stop, okay? You can't isolate yourself like this every time you feel like something's going wrong!"
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "But I just can't, Jake, I can't fucking do it."
"Raile, I don't even know what you're talking about. What's the matter with you?"
"I can't do this. I can't talk to him again and I can't face him," she sniffled. "I won't do it, and nobody's going to convince me to change my mind."
"Did he hurt you?", he asked softly, ever the protective big brother. "Did Max do something he doesn't want to tell me about? Do I need to kick his ass?"
"No, he didn't do anything to me. This is all my fault," she whispered, burying her face in her hands. "I promised myself that I wasn't going to let anyone else in, that I wouldn't give anybody the power to hurt me again but I fucking almost did! That night I went over, we talked and we had coffee and I told him things that I won't even tell Mark. And god, I wanted..."
Jake sat there silently, chin on his arms as he waited for her to finish her thought, and when she didn't, he prompted her gently.
"What did you want, Hellraiser?"
Raile let out a frustrated sob and pulled at her hair.
"I wanted to kiss him, Jake. I was going to; I was so close to just leaning up and kissing him and that fucking scares me! I'm scared!"
"Why are you scared?"
"Because I love him," she whispered, looking up at her brother with tears in her eyes. "I fucking love him, after one conversation, and I shouldn't. I can't be in love, don't you understand? I can't let anyone ever get so close to me, and somehow Max did. I promised myself that I wouldn't give anyone else the power to hurt me."
"What makes you think he would hurt you?"
"He knows too much about me, for one. And two, if I let him get any closer then he'll know everything else and he'll walk out of my life forever because I'm a fucked-up mess!"
There was a knock at the door and she heard Max and Elena talking outside, Elena sounding frustrated and Max pleading quietly. Jake stood up and opened the door and Raile looked down again, not wanting to see Max and watching as his fancy shoes got closer to her.
"You two seriously need to talk, so until you figure this out I'm locking the damn door," Jake half-growled before he left, locking the door behind him, and the room became heavily silent.
The blonde chanced a glance up at Max and saw that his face was a mixture of anger and anxiety, fingers twitching at his sides.
"Hi," she whispered, and he barked out a short, upset laugh.
"That's all you have to say? Hi?", he hissed at her, and she winced and looked down again.
"What do you want me to say?", she shrugged. "I already told you, you didn't do anything wrong, I just had to leave."
"Why did you have to leave?", he challenged, and she jerked her head up, suddenly angry with him.
"Because I was going to do something I would have seriously regretted, and it was better for both of us if I fucking didn't, alright? Does that answer your question?", she snapped back, and he shook his head.
"No, not in the slightest, actually," he said angrily. "What was so bad that you were going to seriously regret it?"
"You really want to know?", she growled, rising to her feet and staring up at him with a fire in her eyes that he only ever saw in the ring. "You fucking want to know?"
"Obviously, that's why I fucking came to talk to you," he glared down at her, and she grabbed him by the back of the neck and kissed him violently. Her nails dug into his skin as she propelled him toward the door with a thump, and he returned the favor by grabbing her wrist and turning so that she was pinned against the door as he pushed his tongue into her mouth and took control of the kiss.
Strangely enough, the way that he was kissing her didn't scare her, and she was so perplexed by that thought that she simply melted against him, hands fisting in his scarf with a quiet, almost silent whimper.
Briefly, Max pulled back and looked down at her, eyes searching her face for some sign that he was going too far as he panted and tried to calm down.
"You're a fucking idiot," he muttered, reaching up to rub his thumb over her violently-reddened bottom lip. "Has anyone ever told you that?"
"A few people," she replied softly, looking up at him with nervousness in her green eyes. "And they're right, I do have a tendency to do idiotic shit."
"Why didn't you want to kiss me?", he asked as his hands went to cup her face.
"Because I'm afraid that you'll realize that I'm not good for you, or anyone, quite honestly," she admitted with a violent clench of her chest. "I have issues, I have problems that I can't fucking fix, and it's so much easier to just be alone than to hurt someone else because of it. I didn't, I don't want you to be a victim of my life and how I choose to deal with it."
"Idiot," he huffed again, pushing her sleeves up and tracing his fingers over her scars. "I already saw this, Raile, I know that it's just as much a part of your life as this moment, right here. And I don't care, do you understand me? I don't care about what you've done to try and ease your pain."
"But you will care, one day, and you'll wake up and wonder why the fuck you ever got mixed up in my life, and you will fucking run from me," she whispered fearfully. "I know you will, Max, and I don't think I could deal with it if you did. I am scared, okay? I'm scared and I hate admitting that I'm scared or that I want someone else to know the entirety of my fucking being. It's terrifying."
Max wrapped his arms around her and she let out a quiet sob, hiding her face in his chest and shaking with silent tears.
"I'm so afraid."
"I can understand that," he said gently, rubbing her back and gently swaying back and forth. "It's okay, Raile, you can let it out. I'm not going anywhere, okay? I promise, I'm not leaving you. I won't ever leave you."
"Don't make promises you won't keep," she begged, and he pulled back to wipe her cheeks with his thumbs and kiss her forehead.
"I would never lie to you," he soothed. "Ever. You're stuck with me, you understand? I'm not going anywhere; I'm a stubborn asshole and you're stuck with me."
"Stop," she begged, shaking her head and refusing to listen. "Stop saying things that you think I want to hear. Why are you doing this to me?"
"Because I love you," he said as he pulled her away from the door and backed them both toward the bench, holding her in his lap. "I love you, Raile, I just didn't know how to tell you without making you freak out on me. I waited this long to tell you because I didn't think that I could."
"No you're not, you can't be," she protested, and he rolled his eyes and kissed her again, much gentler this time.
"Stop saying that," he whispered against her lips. "You're worthy of being loved, damn it, stop telling yourself that you aren't because other people have hurt you. I won't ever do that to you. You've been hurt enough; you deserve to heal now."
He felt her nuzzle into his chest again and hugged her tighter, knowing that she was trying to come up with more protests.
Raile let his words mull over in her head before reaching the same inevitable conclusion. She did deserve to heal, and she deserved happiness too.
"I'm sorry," she finally replied in a sigh, as she looked up at him with makeup-smeared eyes and red puffy cheeks. "I never wanted to upset you like this. I do want to get to know you better, Max. I was just afraid and my first instinct is to protect myself and in doing so I hurt you."
"I forgive you," he reassured her, rubbing his hands over her arms. "It's okay, I forgive you."
"Can we start over?", she asked him nervously, and he smiled at her and kissed her nose.
"Does that involve taking you to dinner?", he asked, and she gave him the first smile that had crossed her face in the last few days and nodded.
"I would love to go to dinner," she told him, chest growing warm at the beaming grin he gave her.
"I can't wait."
