Get up. Get up! You have to get up! GET UP! (Scream!) Who am I? What am I? Where am I? Calm down! Calm down! You know who you are, right? Yeah... Yeah Randy Cunningham. Good, Good. You know who you are, but what and when is an entirely different story entirely isn't it. You can say that again. Hey, who are you anyway? All will be explained later. All you need to know right now, is that my name is 001, and you need to get the heck out of here! And how would I do that? Try getting up.
I do as told. I stand up from the table and start to walk around trying to find anyway way out. I find myself surrounded by reflective glass, which is how I found out about my new threads. A reddish-orange jacket with 1 golden button on each of the 4 corners of the chest, pants of the same color, a long yellow scarf, and jet black combat boots. Not exactly the snazziest of outfits but, I can manage. Good, now if you're done admiring yourself in the mirror, I'd like you to focus on the task at hand. And the voice is back. I'm obviously dreaming. No you're not. Shut up.
And then gas fills the room. Knockout gas. They must not like your new found freedom. Speaking of, who are they? Not the time! You have to move fast if you wanna get out of here! Ok! Ok! What now? Jump! What?! Jump, Randy!
I jump as high as I possibly can, which turns out to be pretty high! High enough to get me out of that room, that's for sure! That's new. Of course it is. You're not helping. Ironic since that's why I'm here.
A scientist runs away, and I look up to see robots advancing towards me. "HALT! DO NOT MOVE!" Shoot. Don't give up just yet. Try rushing that tin can! Are you crazy?! There's only one way to find out. He's right. I get up and rush towards the robot just as it starts shooting bullets from its fingers. Unfortunately one gets me in my rock hard abs. *cough* lies *cough*. Shut up you. Wait, I'm still alive? That should've been an insta-kill! But it wasn't! I rest my case. I get back up and rush the robot again. I manage to impale it with my fist! Alright! Now we're cooking! This is so bruce!!!!
What?
Never mind. I run up and destroy every single robot! How am I doing this? You've got power now! Power that people your age could only wish for! Well, not exactly... I bet that's something you'll explain later? Yeah, j-just keep going. Right. Out the door and down the corridor. When I tell you to stop, stop and look up. Why? You'll see.
Stop!
I stop and look up to see a vent. Oh. I jump up and start to dashing through the vent as the robots shoot at it. I eventually come to a bend and slip, sliding down into a room of only pipes, and a giant pit. I hang on for dear life as I see the pit glow brightly. Oh shoot.
Fire shoots up blasts me right up! I land after a while and everything hurts. Dear god, everything hurts. I manage to get up despite the EXCRUCIATING PAIN, and look around to nothing but desert, and the pit I came pit of. But then I hear something. Something like... treads? Oh no. Oh No! OH NONONONONO! WHAT THE JUICE!!!!???? It's tanks! It's a bunch of Honkin' tanks!Target acquired! Moving in! Oh who is this?! Not any telepaths like me. The internal receivers aren't tuned yet. Receivers?! What receivers?!Capture him! We can't let the rebels get him first! Well well, look who's mr. popular. Shut it! Can't you see they're making an attempt on my life?!
Didn't hear the answer because I was blown to heck a few seconds later. Thankfully, I landed with a skid, like a pro. Pro what? Wannabe ninja? Not helping!
I ended up taking the initiative and ripping the tanks apart one by one! Oh shoot. There were people in there! Couldn't contemplate that, because I was shot in the neck, more like tickled actually. I looked around to see a soldier. "Hold it! Y-You don't scare me!!!!" He's scared. Totally . I reach toward him to try and grab his gun and he just books it. Coward. 100% and then some. Wait, no! Look behind you! I notice almost too late the missile coming at my face. They were willing to shoot their friend! Not cool! These guys are the farthest you can get from cool. They fire a warning shot and i nearly loose my balance and fall of the cliff. Wait, cliff?! Oh no.
'Sigh' between getting riddled with bullets and certain death by drowning, I think I know what I would take.
Why'd I do this!? Why'd I do this!? Why'd I do this!? Why'd I do this!? Why'd I do this!? Oh god! I can't swim! So then Why'd I do this!? Shark!!! Really?! Now?! I get dragged down and of course, I can't breathe! Wait... wait, wait! I can! I can breathe! In fact, I can breathe perfectly fine! I'd be happy If my leg wasn't getting gnawed off by a shark!!!! In fact, let's change that! I punch the shark's eye, revealing an abundance of circuits and wires. It's a robot. Of course. I punch it more and more, but it just doesn't let go! Then, a light blue beam shoots at the shark, destroying it! I swim away before it explodes, but the backlash is too much! Before I pass out, I can see a silhouetted figure swim away.
I wake up on a rock. Thank god for that rock. I stand up. What is going on? Why do I have these powers? Why am I being hunted? If I told you now, it wouldn't make sense. Just follow my directions and meet me at the place I'm about to describe. Alright.
I've been scaling this mountain for sometime now. Not much here. Been bored for a long time. Oh no. A sound again. No, not tanks this time. Couldn't be, that'd be stupid. This time, it's... PLANES?!?! OH WHAT THE JUICE?!?! And of course I fall right off. And the planes are coming right at me!!! What do I do!????!!!! Flip the switch on your back tooth! What?! Just do it!!!! I do as told and... everything slows down. What the juice is this? This is your acceleration mode. You're currently moving at Mach 1 speed. Turn it off! Turn it off! Everything starts moving again and I start running away. When I see you, whatever you are, I'm gonna punch your lights out!!! Don't think you wanna do that. By the way, look out! Too late. I get swept up by one of the planes and now we're I don't know how many feet in the air! I look into the cockpit to try and tell the pilot to land. And I would've succeeded too... if there was pilot of course. This thing's on autopilot, great.
And I'm slipping. Cool. And the other plane's on a collision course for us. Also cool. Wait, No it's not! OH SHOOT!
I open my eyes, and feel a hand grab mine. I look up and see a guy, same uniform as me, but he's got red hair that would win a curler contest, and simple cyan eyes. And there is fire where his feet should be. "Welcome to flight 002 friend, hope you enjoy the ride!" "Wait, are you 001?" "Just said I'm 002." "Right, sorry. Wait, that's your name?!" "It'll do for now. How about we land eh?" He starts flying towards an Island. "What's so special about that Island?" "You'll see."
We land and 002's jet boosters transform back into boots. I start to walk but trip and fall into a wall. Or, at least what feels like one. I say that because the wall caught me, meaning it's a person. I look up and see a man with curly dark brown hair. Too say I was surprised was an understatement. I look around and see more guys in the same uniform. "Who are you all?!" "You could say we're your brothers!" A man with a white goatee, devilish looking Yellow eyes, and a very prankster-y smirk on his face remarked. "Kind of a stretch, but it covers the basics at least." A man with snow white hair and glowing green eyes added. "Brothers?" 7 brothers and 1 sister more like. And we've all got powers like you do. A girl with white skin, and light blue hair tied in pigtails, of course in the same uniform, jumped down from a ledge holding a circular uniformed baby with lavender eyes, and a single strand of purple hair on his mostly bald head. Wait a minute. "Then you're-" Yep, that's me. 001. Still thinking about punching my lights out? Little turd smirks at me. And I facepalm. Of course it's a baby! The girl giggles a little before looking shocked and turning her head, laser focused. "003, what's up?" 002 asks. The girl, 003's eyes turn fully white. "There squads of robot soldiers behind the mountains!" She warns. "And you can see which they're coming from?" She nods. The white haired guy swings his foreleg, opening his knee to reveal a missile!!! "Good, just give me the coordinates, and I'll launch a preemptive strike." "Elevation angle 37 degrees, position 2:00!" The missile guy launches his missile at the described area. "Now a squadron of tanks is moving into position! They're ready to fire!" "Do you see any people in them?!" 002 asks frantically. 003 nods her head. A short man with blonde hair and buck teeth jumps down. "They're resilient, that's for sure!" A slim dark skinned man with black flat hair jumped down beside him. "They're blocking the way to the airport! We'll have to fight our way through!" "I can't see any other option." Missile guy says. The tanks fire missiles at us, but the suddenly, the adults pull out ray guns and fire at them! They manage to get all but one of the missiles! Don't worry, I've got this one. 001 lifts his hand and projects a force field just before the missile hits us! 002 jumps and transforms his legs into boosters again, firing a hailstorm of lasers at the tanks, missile guy fires another knee missile, and the big guy destroys a tank. "He's pretty strong!" That's 005, his body is unbreakable and his strength is unmatched as you can see! "My turn!" The bucktoothed blonde blows fire from his mouth! He used it to tunnel through a hill. 006! The flames projected from his mouth can melt any known material! 006 tunnels up from beneath the tanks, blasting them up with a heap of fire! Next a mountain transforms into the yellow eyed guy... who is stripped down to his underpants for some reason. That would be 007, tapping his navel allows him to transform into anyone, and anything! 005 transforms into a kangaroo, jumps onto the top of a tank, and drops a bomb in it. He's the comedic relief. I can tell. The black haired one fires laser after laser executing tank after tank. That's 008! A combat professional who's real comfort zone is underwater where he can breathe, and swim underwater just like any marine life! So that was him that shot the Robot shark? Yep. Onto the next! 002 can fly at up to mach 5 by transforming his feet into jet boosters! The team finally finishes the fight and reconvene top of a ledge. So, you must be thinking, why not just kill those guys? Well, that's not how we do things around here. Mindless murder is against our code. We restrain our power whenever we can, we aren't monsters. "We only ask that you find it in your heart to trust us. We are your friends now." 003 added to 001's statement. Then, she gasps and her eyes glow white again!
What is it that 003 sees? Find out next time on Randy Cunningham! 9th grade Cyborg!
Notes:
001-Poof from Fairly OddParents
002-Penn Zero
003-Jenny from My Life as a Teenage Robot
004-Danny Fenton
005-Steven Universe
006-Spongebob Squarepants
007-Discord from My Little Pony (Yeah I did that.)
008-Craig from Craig of the Creek
And of course, 009, is Randy Cunningham from Randy Cunningham 9th Grade Ninja.
See ya next time
