# Party At Pammy's
By Alex Lemonds.
This is set in the DCAU.
VAs (mental casting): Joshua LeBar as John. Phil LaMarr as Parker. James Arnold Taylor as Carter. Paget Brewster as Poison Ivy.
Appearance wise: BTAS. Not New Adventures.
We open to vast fields & farmlands. This is the countryside just outside of Gotham City. Panning leftward reveals a long winding back road. A turquoise non-convertible 1950s styled sports car comes speeding into frame. Radio is playing generic jukebox rock. Driver: tall, buff, brown hair, blue eyes, Gotham University Ravens jacket. This is John. Passenger seat: average build, light brown skin, bald, brown eyes, green t-shirt, backwards turned cap sporting OG Killer Moth's colours. This is Parker. Back seat: red hair, freckles, fair skin, same blue eyes as John, svelte frame, white buttoned shirt, glasses & pocket protector. Very nerdy. This is Carter. First two are 21, Carter is 19. We zoom in on Parker reading a newspaper. The headline: "Hikers Vanished Without A Trace." Underneath is a photograph of the five young men. Same age range as these three. NOTE: middle guy is wearing a Dragonheart t-shirt. Of course Parker isn't interested in that. Nope. Far too engrossed in the ongoing turf war between Joker & Two Face. That was last week's front liner. This is an update. Picture above the article is of Rene Montoya escorting a handcuffed goon in Two Face based face paint into a GCPD armoured van. NOTE: the given date is September 14th. John snatches the paper leaving Parker, understandably irate.
Parker:"Hey! I wasn't finished!"
Balls it up & tosses it.
John:"Consider it put on hold. Defeating the point of our little exodus. We're ditching that grim shit hole town for a couple days. Reminders? Unwelcome. Especially if it's the freaks."
Carter rises up from his seat so that his face can been seen.
Carter:"Don't forget, we're also checking out the haunted houses. Bludhaven has the most infamous assortment in the whole state!"
John rolls his eyes.
John:"Yeah, Yeah. If we can work our way to it, lil' bro."
Carter:"You promised mom!"
John pushes him back into his seat.
John:"She ain't here. So zip it."
Parker shakes his head, disappointed. Carter crosses his arms, scowling.
Carter (under breath):"Getter get to it…"
They pass an unassuming shrub. Faint, red glow starts flashing within. Shrub interior: a wireless, waterproof camera. It's blinker is on. Smash cut to someone's basement. Rustic, very lived in appearance. It's filled with: Beakers. Test tubes. Surgical tools. A blackboard that has hundreds of biochemical formulas scrawled onto it. Jars containing toothy mushrooms & eyeball coated cacti. And a forest green laptop residing on a faux wooden table. Screen is flashing red. Curvaceous figure in a lab coat approaches. Her gloved hands are carrying a rare orchid. Face is obscured by a sun hat. Except for her mouth: succulent peach lips. Presses the "C" key. Displays the boys. Zooming in on John. Lips twist into a big sinister grin.
Mystery lady:"Looks like a few rabbits snuck onto my vegetable patch."
Laughs seductively.
Mystery lady:"Good. I was in the mood for a game…"
Returning to the boys.
Carter:"Hope that hotel doesn't have shag carpeting. Mom'll kill me if I come home with rashy feet."
John:"Jeez, again with the mom talk? Can't go two hours without mentioning her can you, runt? Pathetic."
Carter huffs, Parker frowns.
Parker (whisper):"Think you should ease up on him, dude. You're being way too harsh."
John (whisper):"Only because he needs it."
Carter shakes his head, gazing off to the side. NOTE: they've left the farmlands, now entering a densely wooded area, nothing else for miles. Brief smash cut to the green laptop. Mystery lady presses the "S" key. Cut back to the countryside road. Up ahead is a thin, rubber strip, easily unnoticed. Suddenly sharp, black iron spikes extend. Car drives into frame. Tires make contact. Are instantly shredded. Comes to a complete halt.
John:"No, no, no! Goddamnit! Had those installed last week!"
Lads hop outta their vehicle to inspect up close. Parker taps a hubcap with the tip of his foot. John rubs his face, sighs.
John:"Okay, okay. No prob. Tow truck. Cell phone?"
Carter & Parker stare at each other.
Parker:"Um, you said they'd be too distracting, so…"
John:"I know! I just figured you'd sneak 'em…"
Carter fetches a roadmap from the backseat.
Carter:"According to this, there's a town 350 miles ahead."
John:"So?…"
Parker rolls it up & smacks him on the head.
Parker:"Hot food, mechanic shop, tow truck. Duh."
John:"No, I mean, what, we just foot it there? No, no, no. I don't think so. We're playing this by scout rules. Remain until help comes."
Thunderclap, dark clouds gather overhead.
Parker:"Do these rules also call for sitting around, counting raindrops?"
John groans. Smash cut to our drenched trio jogging down the road. John stops for a quick breather.
John:"My… Ugh… My… Ugh… Life… Sucks… Ugh…"
Parker pats him on the chest.
Parker:"Same… Ugh… Boat…"
They unknowingly run by another shrub cam. Smash cut to the mystery lady exiting her lab. Climbing up via a little, extendable ladder.
Mystery lady:"I do so love young, gentlemen callers."
Heads over to a stereo, inserts a CD, flips it on. Above it is a home & garden themed calendar. Stereo plays Plant Muzak (Pretty Poison). She softly hums along as she slips behind a dark green, flytrap patterned modesty screen. We watch her lab coat & gloves get draped.
Mystery lady:"Excellent timing, too…"
We pan over to the calendar, zooming in. It's September. The 14th is highlighted. Smash cut to Carter stopping to pant, wobbling.
Carter:"Oh… Ugh… God… Hate… Ugh… My… Skinny… Ugh… Legs…"
Parker steadies him, John continues hoofing it, paying them no mind.
Parker:"Come… On… Ugh… Not much… Ugh… Further…"
Carter ceases wobbling, standing firm as he looks up, mouth agape.
Parker:"Whuh? What is it? Wh-"
Notices what he sees, mouth agape now too.
Parker:"Oh… My… God…"
Lightning strikes as we see what's caught their attention: an enormous, run down plantation house from the 30s. John, annoyed face, comes swinging back to them.
John:"What Are you… Ugh… guys doing? What's the… Ugh… hold up?"
They point, John stares, rolls his eyes.
John:"A dilapidated crap shack. So what? It's-"
Carter, reenergized, runs off.
Carter:"HAUNTED! DEFINITELY HAUNTED!"
John:"Whu-wait! Hey! Wait! No time for this bull!"
Chases after his younger brother, Parker following close behind.
Parker:"Casper better have hot coco!"
Carter tries to open the door, won't budge.
Carter:"Shit! Rusted shut!"
Runs to the backyard, friends still tailing him.
John:"Annoying lil' crap stain!"
We briefly zoom in on a bush growing next to a crumbling collum which once supported a walk way's roof. There's faint red glow…
Switch to backyard, Carter has stopped dead in his tracks. John & Parker arrive, former grabbing Carter by the collar.
John:"Listen to me, you whiny lil' prick! I'm not risking pneumonia any longer than needed! So get yer ass back on…"
Notices what Carter is so entranced by.
John:"…the road…"
A massive, old timey greenhouse. Rusted, weathered in places, but still standing. More amazingly, there's lights on inside.
Parker:"Apparently ghosts are into growing heirloom tomatoes."
Door creaks open, frightening them.
John:"Shit!"
Carter & Parker start walking towards it.
John:"Are you two goddamn mental?!"
Parker huffs, then rotates to shrug.
Parker:"Ghosts or no ghosts I'm worn out."
They walk in. Door slowly shuts itself. Carter smiles in elation, Parker has his eye brow raised & John just grumbles under his breath, cross armed.
John:"Ugh… Lousy…"
Greenhouse interior: Cobblestone floor. Dangling heat lamps. Opposite sided ponds. Countless, exotic Trees Shrubs Vegetables Fungi, etc. A primeval jungle.
Parker:"Cozy. If you're Tarzan & Jane."
Carter stops.
Carter:"Wait! Hold up. Hear that?"
They faintly hear Plant Muzak playing in the distance.
John:"Creepy music really ties the eery atmosphere together."
Starts to leave until Parker stops him.
Parker:"Ghosts? Unlikely. Helpful eccentric? Leaning towards maybe."
Carter shrugs, John sighs.
John:"Ugh… You guys so aren't talking with me when we're Upstairs."
Parker playfully pats his chest.
Parker:"Better company there to keep."
Smash cut to the furthest back: Desert cactus patterned loveseat. Sunflower coloured recliner. White plastic coffee table. Bronze vine framed vanity mirror. Nightstand littered with lipstick tubes. Heart shaped cushion stool. Old oak dresser. Custom built kitchenette. Antique looking wardrobe. Purple metal bookshelf. Stereo (with calendar). Translucent box of CDs. Washing machine & dryer. Small bathtub with shower curtain. Various potted flowers. Bed of aloe leaves. Two honey bee plushies.
Parker:"An eccentric whose main deal is horticulture. Neat."
Tired from their rainy road hiking the boys plop onto the couch, ignorant to the shapely silhouette watching them from darkness.
Parker:"Huh. Guess the owner ran out for some reason. Hopefully they'll be back soon. Sans pissed off at us for trespassing."
Carter:"Oh man! Should've grabbed my EMF detector!"
John smacks him upside the head.
John:"Idiot! Didn't conceal a phone, but you'll pack that useless shit?!"
Carter shoves him.
Carter:"Freakin' hypocrite!"
John shoves him.
John:"Oh? How so?!"
Carter shoves back.
Carter:"Bitch about me not sneaking a cell, when you didn't either! Fellow screw up!"
Shoving match erupts. Parker gets between them.
Parker:"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Guys! Guys! Swapping blows isn't helping right now. Just focus on what's important."
Clapping startles them.
Mystery lady:"Well said…"
The boys turn their heads towards the darkened, far left hand side of the room, made speechless by who walks out from behind a shaded dressing screen: (outwardly) late 20s-early 30s, perfect, hourglass figure, long smooth looking legs, buxom chest, reddish brown hair, deep blue eyes, heart shaped face, succulent, peach coloured lips wearing lime green sandals, black short shorts, brownish green tank top & dark red cat eye glasses. Simply put, a wet dream brought to life.
Carter:"Goddess…"
She giggles playfully.
Mystery lady:"Appreciated."
Parker clears his throat, gets up & walks over to the enigmatic woman.
Parker:"Um, hello. Pardon our uninvited visitation, ma'am. So sorry. Our tires were slashed, forcing us to trek towards town on foot, which, we've been doing for several hours in heavy rain, so, you could imagine w-"
Places a hand on his forehead, the other on his cheek to register his temperature, causing Parker to blush.
Mystery lady:"Oh, you poor boys! What were you thinking? Walking through this storm. Be fortunate if you all don't come down with fever. Please, think nothing of being unexpected. My home is open to you however long you wish."
Parker grins eagerly.
Parker:"Much obliged, Miss?…"
Offers her hand.
Mystery lady:"Penelope. Penelope Roseburg."
Shakes it.
Parker:"Charmed to make your acquaintance. I'm Parker."
Points to friends.
Parker:"Tall buff guy is John & the red head in spectacles is Carter."
Parker sits down, John elbows him in congratulatory manner. Penelope glides towards Carter, tapping his glasses.
Penelope Roseburg:"Boyle brand, right?"
Adjusts them.
Carter:"Uh… Yes. Yes they are."
Taps hers.
Penelope Roseburg:"Same since middle school. Best in Gotham."
Leans in to whisper.
Penelope Roseburg:"Or anywhere else…"
His lenses fog up immediately.
Penelope Roseburg:"Oh, look at you three, soaking wet. Up, up, up!"
They do as they're told, removing their moist clothes, sans underwear. She fetches several towels for them. Roseburg points to her dresser.
Penelope Roseburg:"My ex left a whole drawer of unclaimed clothes."
She collects their wet garments then tosses them into the dryer. John smirks, taps on Parker's shoulder. Thumbs at the statuesque good Samaritan, leaning against the dryer, her ass quite prominent. Parker slaps his hand down with a face which screams:"Really? Now?" They're selecting t-shirts, underwear, shorts & socks. NOTE: Carter chooses a Dragonheart t-shirt… John holds up a dark blue tank top. Stares down, totally flabbergasted by what's seen: Penelope massaging his abs, tracing the lines. She notices, moves back, embarrassed face.
Penelope Roseburg:"Forgive me, John. I couldn't help myself."
Rubs back of his head.
John:"Nah, zero biggie."
She lays a hand on his cheek, rubbing slowly.
Penelope Roseburg:"It's just been awhile since I've had such distractingly fit male company. You must be so proud of…"
Massages his right bicep, John's practically drooling. Carter & Parker just stand there, viewing in disbelief.
Penelope Roseburg (breathless):"These big, strong muscles."
Slaps herself on the forehead.
Penelope Roseburg:"I'm such a ditz sometimes!"
Boys are thrown free from their dazed state.
Boys (unison):"Whuh?"
She laughs cheekily, points to their moist underwear.
Penelope Roseburg:"Your underwear."
All three of their faces turn apple red. Penelope giggles, hand on mouth.
Penelope Roseburg:"Don't worry, I'll look away."
Turns around, gazing back momentarily to wink. John, Carter & Parker hurriedly finish dressing. Hand Roseburg their old undies, flings 'em at the dryer. Boys plop onto the couch, sighing, weary from their journey. Penelope daintly sits on the recliner, crossing her legs.
Penelope Roseburg:"Feeling better?"
Boys (unison):"Oh yes, very much, thank you."
She smiles warmly.
Penelope Roseburg:"I'm sorry to hear about your car trouble."
Carter glares at John.
Carter:"Shouldn't have been an issue, but, SOMEONE had convinced us it was a fantastic move to not bring our cells."
John rolls his eyes. Roseburg shrugs.
Penelope Roseburg:"It wouldn't have mattered if you did. No signal in this area. None. Closest is in Cherry Valley."
Parker:"Town up the road?"
Penelope Roseburg:"Yes. Nice place, decent people."
She giggles.
Penelope Roseburg:"I still can't believe you three. Deciding to jog your way there, in that thundering mess. Although, beats sitting around to count the raindrops."
Parker grins widely, pats John on the shoulder.
Parker:"Exactly my thinking."
Wipes tear from her eye, clears throat.
Penelope Roseburg:"Howse about some warm coco? Hmm?"
Parker:"Read my mind."
Sashays towards the kitchenette. Her butt rocking side to side. (think restaurant departure moment from Petty Poison).
Penelope Roseburg:"So, what brought you to my neck of the woods?"
Glances back briefly.
Penelope Roseburg:"Apologies if I'm prying."
John clears throat.
John:"Oh, well, hehehe. Y'know Gotham. Sometimes you need a break from killer clowns, mobsters, bat this, bat that, bat everything!"
Penelope walks into frame. Carrying a tray with 3 mugs: 2 red, 1 green. So Christmas, no?
Penelope Roseburg:"Last part rings too true."
NOTE: she hands Carter & Parker the red ones. John receives the green one. Mmmm hmmm…
Penelope Roseburg:"Please, drink up. Plenty more."
Boys enthusiastically imbibe their warm beverages.
Carter:"What about you?"
Lightly waves at him, shaking her head.
Penelope Roseburg:"Trying to lessen my sugar intake."
Roseburg sits, resuming her prior, cross legged position.
Parker:"Hope you aren't offended by MY incoming attempt to pry."
Throws up her hands, smiling.
Penelope Roseburg:"Ask me anything you like."
Parker:"Why're you living in a greenhouse in the middle of nowhere?"
She sighs.
Penelope Roseburg:"Blame S.T.A.R. Labs. I'm a botanist conducting low level research. So low level they deemed it unnecessary to provide me with a proper laboratory, let alone a staff."
Parker:"So you're here, all by yourself?"
Penelope Roseburg:"I had my boyfriend. As fond of plants as me. Had to toss him when I discovered he was using this place to grow peyote."
John bursts into laughter.
John:"WHAT?!"
Rosenberg snorts.
Penelope Roseburg:"I know! Ridiculous, right?"
She sighs, wipes away tears.
Penelope Roseburg:"It's fine. Whenever I'm craving company I get in my jeep, drive up to Cherry Valley & just spend the day doing whatever, with whoever. There's a diner there, serves the best blueberry pie."
Boys stare at each other, then back at her.
Carter:"You have a jeep?"
Penelope Roseburg:"Mmm hmm. Stored in an old shed behind here."
Parker:"If it isn't an imposition, would y-"
Penelope Roseburg:"Drive us into town after the weather clears? Gladly. I was going there tomorrow anyway. I'll drop you by Buster. He's the local tow truck driver."
Boys grin, ecstatic, relieved.
John:"Thank you, Penelope. Not sure how we can repay you."
Holds his hand, smiling warmly, he blushes.
Penelope Roseburg:"Visiting me is enough."
Carter:"So, uh, how should we pass the time?"
Roseburg stands up.
Penelope Roseburg:"I've a fun idea…"
Strolls away to the stereo, sorts through her CDs. John gestures for his companions to huddle up.
John (whisper):"Alright, can we all agree Penelope is one unbelievably gorgeous babe? Hottest lady alive?"
Parker & Carter eye each other, then stare back at him.
Carter & Parker (unison):"Of course."
John smirks weaselly.
John (whisper):"So, I was thinking…"
Eyes bulge like Nicholas Cage.
John (whisper):"Let's get her into a 4 way."
Carter face palms, Parker shakes his head.
John (whisper):"What? What?"
Parker pokes his chest.
Parker (whisper):"Seriously, dude? Doesn't strike you as rude?"
John (whisper):"I didn't mean just bluntly ask her. Duh."
Carter (whisper):"Well then how?"
Parker glares at him, Carter shrugs.
Carter (whisper):"Simply curious what he'd propose. Still refuse it."
John (whisper):"Little further pleasant chitchat, touch her gradually."
Laughs quietly.
John (whisper):"Get her nice & excited, then…"
Clicks tongue.
John (whisper):"We pounce."
Parker (whisper):"Your mind is a bottomless dumpster, isn't it?"
Roseburg reaches behind her stereo, nabbing a CD case.
Penelope Roseburg:"Ahh! There you are! So slippery."
Inserts disc, switches to track 8. It's In His Kiss by Betty Everett cues up. Starts tapping her feet.
Penelope Roseburg:"Lifelong favourite."
Shakes her shoulders up & down. Gestures at them to join in.
Penelope Roseburg:"Come on!"
The boys, seeing her bouncing bosom, do so. Different styles on display: Carter's doing The Peanuts move in place thing. John's thrusting about Elvis Presley style. Because of course… Meanwhile Penelope & Parker are holding hands, throwing each other around, treating it like a Big Band affair. He twirls her, stopping just as the song dies down. Everyone's sweaty now, taking deep breaths. Roseburg caresses the underside of his chin.
Penelope Roseburg:"You're a terrific dancer."
They exchange grins.
Trio & the lady drop into their respective seats. Penelope sighs, wiping sweat from her brow.
John:"Now what?"
Penelope Roseburg:"Dinner?"
Smash cut to her handing them plates of salad & cups of grape juice.
Penelope Roseburg:"Afraid this it. Coco aside, nothing but vegan."
Parker:"Not a bother. Mama's always riding me for skipping my greens."
They dig in.
Penelope Roseburg:"So, Gotham University, huh?"
They perk up upon hearing this.
Penelope Roseburg:"Eyed your jacket, John."
He laughs.
John:"Right. Yep, 3rd year for us, 1st for Carter."
Penelope Roseburg:"Professor Holland still lecturing?"
They're surprised/amazed to hear this.
Parker:"Yeah. Never shuts up about bayou voodoo afterwards!"
She laughs lightly.
Penelope Rosebug:"Nice to hear he's unchanged."
She sighs.
Penelope Roseburg:"Sweet old, romantic Cajun. Used to solicit everything with a skirt & high heels. Dated my roommate near graduation. On the sly, obviously. Public never would've accepted."
Carter:"You attended Gotham U?"
Penelope Roseburg:"Long time ago. Botany degree's in my dresser."
John:"How long ago?"
Penelope Roseburg:"Far back enough to remember when mullets were commonplace. Y'know, people are often dumbfounded when I tell them how old I actually am."
John:"Which… Would be?…"
Parker punches him in the arm. Penelope giggles, rubbing John's arm.
Penelope Roseburg:"Don't worry, Parker. Not a sore subject. I'll be 37 next June. Feel free to visit me again then if you like."
John flashes his eyebrows at Parker, who rolls his eyes.
Penelope Roseburg:"So, what're you guys studying?"
Parker:"Ethics."
Carter:"Psychology."
John:"Lacrosse."
They both stare incredulously at him.
Carter:"He means art history. Insecure about it tainting his jock image."
John smacks him upside the head.
John:"Sibs. Say the dumbest things."
Carter punches him in the abdomen.
Parker:"Alright guys, chill. Don't think our fantastic hostess wou-"
Roseburg bursts into laughter, startling them.
Penelope Roseburg:"I'm sorry. You guys are hysterical. I used to hang out with people just like you in college."
Parker:"Oh, still keep in touch?"
Lowers her head a bit, saddened.
Penelope Roseburg:"We drifted apart."
Shrugs.
Penelope Roseburg:"Can't blame them for eschewing contact with me."
Sighs.
Penelope Roseburg:"They're award piling scientists while here I am producing thicker, longer lasting adhesives from South American tree sap."
Parker takes her hand.
Parker:"World always needs higher quality glue."
She smiles warmly.
Penelope Roseburg:"That's very kind."
Kisses him on the cheek, causing Parker to blush bright red.
Penelope Roseburg:"I'd say that earned you a reward. Ice cream?"
Stands up, sashays towards the kitchenette. John gestures to renew the huddling up.
John (whisper):"Man, I'm telling you, she's getting primed."
Parker (whisper):"I wish you'd knock off this sleazeball act."
John (whisper):"Why're you deciding now to be Mr. Morality? Last month, in Vegas, you & me, fist bumping as we scored with those showgirls. Where's THAT Parker?"
Parker (whisper):"Different place, different Parker. One you're speaking with has standards to uphold. She's a nice lady whose done so much for us. I'm not gonna pull any disgusting gigolo crap."
Carter (whisper):"Mind if I do though?"
Glares at him then John.
John (whisper):"Let it go, John. It isn't happening."
She returns, carrying a small sundae in a glass bowl.
Penelope Roseburg:"100% soy. Tastes indiscernible from the real deal."
Parker:"Thank you very much."
Nods condescendingly at John, then begins eating. Carter taps his fingertips, nervously darting his eyes. Roseburg, lays a hand on his knee.
Penelope Roseburg:"Something on your mind, hon?"
Rubs back of his head.
Carter:"Well, um, I was wondering. Is that plantation house haunted?"
She giggles.
Penelope Roseburg:"Not to any degree I'm aware of."
John elbows him.
John:"Excuse my brother. Never shuts up about the paranormal."
Carter elbows him right back.
Carter:"Only reason I came on this trip was to check out all the haunted places in Bludhaven. So, so many hot spots. Like the Reindeer Inn or Cortington Manor or the Bux Homestead."
Pats his knee.
Penelope Roseburg:"The Brundle House?"
They stare, stunned.
Penelope Roseburg:"My friend Arleen's also a big ghost enthusiast. Used to drag me there every Autumn. Hated it, until, I developed a taste for it myself. It's fun, being scared. Especially when you're with somebody you care about. And they're reassuring you that they'll take a baseball bat to any spook's head to save you."
Carter:"Wow, she sounds like a fun person."
She sighs.
Penelope Roseburg:"Bubbly, energetic, uplifting. Too fun. You'd love her. Never fails to bring out the best in people. Well… Except… One…"
She grimaces intensely. In her head, brief: faint, Mark Hamill laughter. Snaps back to her friendly smile.
Penelope Roseburg:"Oh! Just remembered! I compiled a scrapbook last week. Hang on."
Gets up, starts walking towards the dresser.
Penelope Roseburg:"Can't wait to show you our trip to Australia. Arleen picked a fight with a roided kangaroo. I was so mortified! Then we maxed our credit cards buying Paul Hogan post-"
Trips, falls onto her forearms.
John:"Oh my god!"
Jumps up, races towards Penelope. Bends down to help her to her feet
John:"Are you alright?"
Touches his legs, moving up to his knees.
Penelope Roseburg:"I'll be fine, I just… Just… Whoa…"
She has her palm on his tenting shorts. John turns apple red just like earlier.
John:"Oh, jeez! I'm-I'm so sorry! I-I-I didn't mean to… Oh…"
Trails off as she actually starts gingerly tracing his member with the tips of her index finger & thumb. Smirking wildly.
Penelope Roseburg:"My, my, my. Seems this has been developing for quite awhile. Oooh! It must ache so, keeping it contained in these tight, little shorts. Huh?"
John shakes as he nods, too tongue tied to speak. Carter & Parker watch from afar, shocked by what's happening behind them.
Penelope Roseburg:"Poor baby. I can't condone the pain & suffering of others. Therefore…"
Slips off shorts, setting John's long, veiny pole free.
Penelope Roseburg (breathless):"We'll let 'em breathe."
Rubs the switching shroom head with her index finger whilst using her other hand to massage his gonads. Squeals delightedly.
Penelope Roseburg:"Oooh! John… I take it THIS is the muscle you're proudest of. Mmm…"
Repeatedly kisses the tip as she sandwiches the dick between two fingers, rubbing it gently. John is grinning ear to ear. She stops.
Penelope Roseburg:"Now, for the main course…"
Kisses the tip once more time then completely engulfs his scrotum into her soft, yummy mouth. Her tongue swirls around it like a lolipop. John notices Parker & Carter staring. Sneers knowingly.
John:"Oh, um, Penelope?"
Ceases sucking for the moment.
John:"I think Parker & Carter would love to join us. If that's fine with you."
She giggles.
Penelope Roseburg:"Of course, silly boy. More the merrier."
Beckons them to come over with a crooked finger.
Parker:"Oh, what the hell. Geronimo!"
They go short less & Penelope proceeds to suck all three of them, tenderly fondling their members with her tongue. This continues for 10-15 minutes until…
Boys (unison):"Oh… God… Ugh… About to…"
They ejaculate together coating Roseburg in thick, stringy jizz. Spent, the kids fall backwards onto the couch as the sexy botanist tastes their youthful seed. NOTE: Parker shuts his eyes, seemingly dozing off into a deep slumber. Seemingly…
Penelope Roseburg:"You boys are scrumptious. I adore having a young stud to savour. But three? Lucky me. Now…"
Removes her tank top, short shorts & sandals. Glasses aside, she stands there, bare naked.
Penelope Roseburg:"Who'd like the first ride?"
Guys stiffen again instantly. They briefly stare at Parker, noticing he's unconscious. John hops over.
John:"Me! Right here! Willing, hung & insatiable!"
Giggles as she mounts him on the recliner.
Penelope Roseburg:"Alright, lacrosse player. Ready, set, go…"
Inserts his thick, veiny prick into her tight, creamy hole. It feels so good her pupils briefly transform into hearts.
Penelope Roseburg:"Oh! Fuck! Yes! Young cock is the greatest!"
Carter stands there, arms crossed, irritated. She notices.
Penelope Roseburg:"Oh, darling, come here."
Beckons with finger.
Penelope Roseburg:"Plenty of love to spare…"
Walks over, shoves his cock into her mouth again this time Roseburg sucks harder, faster than before whilst grinding rougher & rougher on John.
Penelope Roseburg:"Mmmm hmmm! Mmm…"
She releases penis, licks the tip before talking.
Penelope Roseburg:"Now, why don't you switch places for a bit?"
They comply, Carter gets underneath, John's rod is mouthed. Penelope shifts from slow, careful thumping to frenzied speedy piston motions, whilst lavishing the cock residing in her throat with tongue & suction. Spits out scrotum, dismounts Carter, then gets on her knees, presenting her smooth soft looking buttocks.
Penelope:"John, would you be so kind & take care of my ass? It's begging for it!"
He smirks, starts fingering it. She moans, pants, blushes.
John:"Happy to help!"
Extracts finger then jams his fat, throbbing cylinder into her tightest of holes. Pound, pound, pound! Pounded that asshole is. Meanwhile Carter is being licked everywhere down there. She stops at his testicles, sucking on them as though they were jawbreakers. Ultimately Roseburg winds up returning to the sweaty recliner.
Penelope Roseburg:"Alright, boys. I suggest we bookend this…"
They immediately resume their initial coital configuration of John in pussy, Carter in mouth. Flesh smacking persists for 40-60 minutes until John ejaculates into her pussy followed by Carter ejaculating down her throat. Penelope's joyous orgasmic screams muffled by the red head's dick in her maw. The argumentative familial duo park it onto the loveseat, completely spent just as their exhausted hostess sits in her recliner, catching her breath.
John:"Best… Ugh… Night… Ever…"
Carter:"Never hear me… Ugh… Disagree…"
John leans over to Parker, shaking him.
John:"Hey, dude, wake up. Sorry we didn't earlier. Just seemed so content. Hehehe. Maybe she can…"
Parker falls onto the floor. John looks dumbfounded.
John:"Uh, squeeze you in?"
Carter bends down to examine him. Begins slapping his face. Zilch. He remains totally unresponsive.
Carter:"Parker! Yo! Buddy! Wakey wakey!"
Shakily opens his eyes, revealing: oranges attached to tendrils that launch out, startling the brothers.
John:"Holy shit!"
Dark orange fluid leaks from Parker's mouth, sockets, nostrils & ears as his stomach cracks open like a walnut, exposing a clump of ripe citrus fruit.
Carter:"Dear God…"
Penelope laughs dementedly, terrifying her guests even more. She sighs.
Penelope Roseburg:"Must've been something he ate."
Picks up an empty, red mug from the coffee table, stroking the rim as she grins knowingly.
Penelope Roseburg:"Or… Drank…"
Carter's eyes widen in realization.
Carter (quietly):"H-how could… Ugh…"
Vomits a puddle of green fluid. Falls to his knees, convulsing. John holds him.
Carter:"No! Ugh… God…"
Penelope steps over to her dresser, fetching a maple leaf compact.
John starts to cry as he hangs onto his jerking sibling.
John:"It's-It's go-gonna be okay…"
Stares up at Roseburg who stands, hands on hips, smirking viciously.
John:"Pl-please! Please! Help him!"
She laughs wickedly.
Penelope Roseburg:"Afraid it's too late for that. Aww, what is it, hon? Why so upset? Hmm? You two clearly didn't get along. Should be pleased to watch your aggravation expire."
John:"Doesn't matter! He's still my brother! I love him!"
Carter pushes John off, flying up onto his feet, screaming as cactus needles eject from every skin pore. His body bloats, veins swell & burst. Teeth, nails, gums, scalp, tongue, skin, etc. Each tears off in quick succession as cactus flesh replaces them. In the end the upper portion of his skull, crowning a flowery top, is the sole indicator it was once human. John stands up, shivering hand pointed at the cactus, withdraws it then falls onto his knees. Devastated.
John (quiet):"Carter?…no…"
Penelope claps.
Penelope Roseburg:"Bravo! Marvelous show!"
John grits his teeth, lunging at her, fist ready.
John:"MURDEROUS BITCH!"
Roseburg flips open her maple leaf shaped compact then blows yellowish white powder at his face, he instantly stops. John stumbles about, woozy. His vision starts blurring. Penelope low waves at him.
Penelope Roseburg:"Nighty night…"
He drops face first into the recliner. Smash cut to darkness. John's POV. Eyelids open. Rises back onto his feet. Grogginess dissipates, his sight clears. Looks around. Sees a very strange sight. It's a bodybuilder mannequin, same physique as him, it's partially closed hand is holding a box of matches. Hears soft laughter. Turns in it's direction. Penelope's in front of him. She's now wearing a fuzzy seafoam green bathrobe. A towel drapes her neck. An arm is behind her back.
Penelope Roseburg:"Sleep well?"
John steadies himself.
John:"Where's Parker & Carter?"
She giggles.
Penelope Roseburg:"In my basement. Placed alongside the others…"
John:"Others?"
Penelope Roseburg:"Other young men. Quite a few have entered my home. None leave. Usually it's lost hikers. You were a nice break."
John:"How could you do that to them?"
She sighs then shrugs.
Penelope Roseburg:"Easy. I just did. I love leading men on. Making them feel important. Then ending them…"
John:"And me? What was in my coco?"
Taps her chin in faux contemplation.
Penelope Roseburg:"A pinch of vanilla."
Bursts into psychotic laughter.
John:"Well then, why am I still alive?"
Her arm folds away from the back, is holding up a silver hand mirror. John sees himself wearing a copy of Batman's costume, yellow shield, utility belt, cape, the works. The mask's flopping behind.
Penelope Roseburg:"Pretty accurate right? I spent months studying photos, footage. Anything available."
John briefly stares at his gloved hands before beginning to back up towards the exit, Roseburg following.
John:"I-I don't understand. What's the point?"
She softly caresses the underside of his chin.
Penelope Roseburg:"Patience…"
Snaps her fingers. John hears something. Weird, squirming noises. Suddenly his arm feels much heavier. Gazes downard. Wrist is wrapped up in a thick, green tendril ended with red pedal rimmed, snapping piranha like jaws. Rapidly a second restrains his other wrist, followed by two more for his legs, last goes round his waist, tightening, squeezing him.
John:"Ugh!"
Roseburg rubs his cheek with the back of her hand.
Penelope Roseburg:"I need to change."
Taps his nose.
Penelope Roseburg:"Won't be long…"
Walks over to her stereo, swaps the Betty Everett CD for another. Hits a button, Plant Muzak cues up. Heads behind the dressing screen. She picks up a dark, green box. Opens it, grins evilly. We see the towel then bathrobe draped.
John:"Does S.T.A.R. Labs know about this freaky B-movie crap?"
Penelope giggles. Briefly pokes her head out.
Penelope Roseburg:"How could they when I don't even work for them?"
Drip, drip. Water drops? No. John looks up & is terrified: a massive flytrap growing from an enormous pot, welded into the ceiling. It's snow pea pod shaped, red, vertical mouth parts, showing large, shark like teeth, salivating as it roars.
Penelope Roseburg:"Like my flytrap? I used to have a smaller version. Took years to grow this tougher variant."
John:"Lady, just, who're you really?"
She giggles.
We pan over to the dressing screen.
Penelope Roseburg:"Please, allow me to reintroduce myself…"
We're in the foreground, from behind. We see her dark silhouette standing. She pulls up the second glove then clamps on the wrist crossbow. Smash cut then crane up to her hip swaying into view: green bodysuit, finned gloves & boots, mint leggings.
Penelope Roseburg:"I'm Dr. Pamela Isley, a.k.a…"
Removes the reddish brown wig, revealing auburn hair tied into a flat bun, then ditches the glasses followed by the blue contact lenses, eyes shining bright green once more.
Poison Ivy:"Poison Ivy."
John's eyes widen in horror.
John:"Why the copy suit?"
Undoes her bun, long, vibrant hair flows freely.
Poison Ivy:"Because…"
Struts behind John. Begins rubbing his shoulders with her index fingers. Leans in to whisper.
Poison Ivy:"I'm feeling nostalgic."
Walks over to the mannequin, pressing her back up against it. Gazes seductively towards John.
Poison Ivy:"Ever heard the story of the first time Batman apprehended me?"
John:"I-i remember hearing about s-some attorney."
Poison Ivy:"District Attorney Harvey Dent. His needless construction of a penitentiary brought a rare rose to the brink of extinction."
She sighs.
Poison Ivy:"Thankfully, I preserved one. Using it's toxic leaves, I developed a fatal lipstick."
Caresses the mannequin's face.
Poison Ivy:"I seduced that slimy bastard, pretended to be smitten with him. Waited for the right moment, then…"
Puckers lips at John.
Poison Ivy:"So long."
She giggles.
Poison Ivy:"It went so perfectly!"
Glares in recollection.
Poison Ivy:"Until Batman appeared…"
Starts to softly rub her costume covered snatch.
Poison Ivy:"That encounter almost went my way. Mmm. I had him. Bound, poisoned. I taunted him…"
Lingers a bit, then stops, sighs. Aroused expression now giving way to a far, far glummer mug. Fetches a matchstick from the box lights it, holding it up to her sad face.
Poison Ivy:"One kick dominoed. Next thing I know, I'm in handcuffs being escorted into a police van, looking back…"
Sheds tears, wipes them away.
Poison Ivy:"As fire trucks gathered around the smouldering remains of my once, green paradise."
Blows out match.
John:"W-what've I got t-to do with any of th-this?"
Saunters up to John, rests her hands on his chest.
Poison Ivy:"I want to relive that night. Except this time…"
Covers his head with the mask.
Poison Ivy:"There'll be no escape."
Snaps fingers. Two tendrils descend. They wrap around his neck & forehead, holding him in place.
John (choked):"Ugh!"
She fluffs her hair.
Poison Ivy:"Twice I failed."
Reaches into her cleavage.
Poison Ivy:"But now…"
Fetches a golden lipstick tube.
Poison Ivy:"Your fate…"
Ivy twists it open, then applies it.
Poison Ivy (breathless):"Is sealed."
John struggles in vain to move.
John:"Pl-please! Lemme go! I-I promise not to tell any-"
She places a finger on his trembling mouth.
Poison Ivy:"Shh, shh, shh. Relax. It's painless."
Leans in, snaking an arm around his neck, laying a hand on his face, her eyes half lidded, smirking lips shine glossy in the light. Ivy giggles.
Poison Ivy:"Such a fun evening."
Tenderly caress the underside of his chin.
Poison Ivy:"I'd like to thank you."
Closes the gap, he feels Ivy's warm breath.
Poison Ivy:"Howse about…"
Brief, zoom in on her lips.
Poison Ivy (breathless):"A goodnight kiss?"
She smashes their lips together, kissing him lovingly, hungrily, savouring each second. Ivy starts vigorously sucking on his top lip. Licks his teeth, pushing through, caressing the tip of John's tongue with her own . Holds him tighter as she Frenches him hard. Nibbles on his bottom lip. This persists for 2 full minutes until Ivy releases him.
Poison Ivy:"Mmmm… Mmmm… M'wah!"
John coughs, quaking as he goes glassy eyed. Ivy backs away, standing in place as her body is overtaken by the greatest orgasm she's ever experienced.
Poison Ivy:"Oh… God… Yes…"
John's eyes shut. Snaps fingers. Tendril detaches from his forehead. Ivy kisses it, leaving a lipstick mark. Gently rubs his cheek.
Poison Ivy:"I'll never forget what we've shared."
Snaps fingers. Flytrap hoists up John's unconscious body, positioning it near it's opening jaws. Snap! He's devoured instantly. Ivy blows him a kiss.
Poison Ivy:"Pleasant dreams."
Yawns, stretches. Walks over to the calendar, crosses out September 14th with a red marker. Sports a proud smile. Heads towards dresser. Smash cut to Ivy wearing an emerald, transparent nightie, laying on her bed of aloe leaves. Rests her head on a honey bee plush then drifts off into a peaceful sleep.
**THE END.**
