Finn looked over at Ardella. He pretended to only look because he had to, but he was studying her. Her long, blonde hair put in a simple ponytail. To look professional. That was his best guess. Her hazel brown eyes so similar to Carmella's. He missed Carmella.
"How are you feeling today, Finn?" She asked.
"You know how, doc," he smirked. "Same as yesterday. Nothing really changes in this place."
"Changes will take time," she said.
He leaned a bit forward in his chair. Not enough to make her feel scared or uncomfortable, but enough to let her know he was very much able to jump up if he should feel the need to. He wanted to. He wanted to so bad. He didn't belong in a mental asylum. He belonged on the outside with Carmella.
"You think all this therapy and medicine will do me any good. You can't fix what isn't broken, doc," he said.
"Broken. Such a funny word. People tend to overuse it," she said.
"What other word would you call me?" He asked.
He was trying to throw out bait for her to take. One wrong word and he would snap her pretty, little neck. At least in his mind. He would hurt her though. Somehow, somewhere. One wrong word and she would feel his anger.
"I don't have one particular word to call you. We're just here to talk and somehow help you, Finn," she said.
"Help me," he sneered. "I don't need help. I had everything under control. You idiots screwed me over."
"What did we do?" She asked.
"If it hadn't been for you, I would have been with Carmella by now. She would have understood how much I love her. She would have realized she loves me too. I just need to keep trying to make her understand," he said.
He sighed and gave her a look of hopelessness. He didn't know what else to do. In his world he had tried so hard and still failed. Carmella refused to accept the truth. That she loved him. He knew she did.
"What happened leading up to you coming here?" She asked.
"I sent her flowers everyday for a week. Flowers in different colors everyday. I told her how much I loved her and how I longed to be with her," he said.
"Not all women like flowers," she said.
"Shut up, doc," he chuckled. "You might not but I guess you're a lesbian."
"Some lesbians like flowers. And you shouldn't call someone lesbian as an insult. There's nothing wrong with being lesbian," she said.
"I know, doc!" He rolled his eyes. "God, you're so annoying sometimes."
He knew she was right though. It didn't matter if she was into men or women. He didn't care either. He was not interested in her. She was a doctor signed to try and fix him.
"I'm not broken," he whispered.
"You need to speak up, Finn. I can't hear you," she said.
"She threw the flowers in the trash," he said. "I found them all there."
"What were you doing on her property?" She asked.
"I came to talk to her. To ask why she didn't call. I left my number on all the cards that came with the flowers. I was waiting for her, and she fucking ignored me. That bitch straight up ignored me," he said.
He started laughing lowly. He couldn't believe everything he had done to get Carmella's attention, and she had ignored him. Like he didn't matter at all. The flowers had only been the last week. He had tried so much for several months to make her see the truth.
"So I went there to talk and I saw the flowers in the trash, and I just got so mad. I didn't mean to hurt her. It just happened," he said. "Bitch fucking called the cops on me. I tried explaining it was an accident and that we're in love. She lied to them, doc. She said she didn't know me, but she does know me. We met that day in the supermarket when their system went down and we had to wait forever to have our groceries scanned. She was so sweet. And her laugh. Oh god, her laugh, doc. I've never heard anything that beautiful before."
He bit the inside of the bottom lip to keep himself from crying. Pain was better than tears. Ardella couldn't see weakness in him, and tears were a weakness. Pain made him stronger.
"What happened after your meeting?" She asked.
"I followed her home. I told you all this before," he said.
"Accepting what you've done is part of making you better," she said.
"Accepting what I've done? I've accepted all along what I'm doing. I love her. What's wrong with loving someone?" He asked.
"Nothing is wrong with loving someone, but stalking is wrong. Attacking someone for not wanting you is very wrong," she said.
"It was an accident!" He yelled.
He gritted his teeth. His chest rose up and down while his breathing took up. He grabbed the arm rests on the chair and held on tight enough to make his knuckles turn white. He couldn't take the anger out on her. They would never let him out of this place if he did, and he needed to get out. He needed to get back to Carmella.
"Take a deep breath," she said.
He took a deep breath and slowly relaxed his grip on the chair.
"Have you ever thought about getting your lips done?" He asked.
She twisted a sideways smile and wrote something down on her block of paper.
"Carmella had her lips done, right?" She asked.
"You kinda look like her," he said.
"But I'm not her. I don't wish to have work done to look like someone else," she said.
"You'd be so pretty with bigger lips and boobs," he smirked. "Just saying, doc."
She picked up her glasses and put them on. He frowned at that. Something as simple as a pair of glasses really changed her whole appearance. She no longer looked like Carmella. He hated that she looked like her, and he hated when she took that look away. He didn't want to see either side of her, and he didn't want to be without either.
"Carmella, Ardella," he said. "So similar."
"I haven't thought about it," she said.
"Both your names are Hebrew. Did you know that?" He asked.
"No, I didn't," she answered.
"Carmella means garden of god. Ardella means blooming field. Again, similar. A garden and a field," he said.
He grabbed the edge of the table between them and slowly stood up while smirking.
"It's almost as if someone sent you to me instead of her," he said.
"Sit down, Finn," she said.
"Take off those glasses," he said.
"Sit down or I'll have to call security," she said.
"I'm not broken!" He screamed.
He flew over the table and jumped on her. Her chair tipped over and they both landed on the floor in a hard landing. His shoulder hurt but he couldn't stop now. He tore off her glasses and crushed them in his hand. Shards of glass tore through his flesh and made him bleed. She was struggling with something but he only had eyes on her face. He grabbed her jaw with his bloody hand, smearing blood and shards of glass over her. He leaned down and forced a kiss on her. She kept struggling but he was stronger than her.
"My sweet Carmella," he whispered. "You have been sent in this body to me."
Hands grabbed him and tore him off her. He finally realized what she had been struggling with when he only had eyes on her face. She had reached the button under the table to call security. Strong men started dragging him backwards out of the room. He saw another female doctor named Sonya help Ardella up from the floor. The way Sonya touched Ardella made him see red. They looked like a couple. Maybe they were. Ardella had kept it professional and not revealed anything about her personal life.
"Get your hands off her, you bitch!" He screamed. "I'm not broken! I'm not fucking broken! Ardella! Tell her! Tell her it was an accident!"
He got dragged out of the room, and Ardella placed her hands on the table in front of her. She let out a deep sigh. Sonya placed a hand on her back to soothe her. Ardella turned her head and looked at the black haired woman.
"Want me to take over?" Sonya asked.
"No, I don't think that's wise. We need a man on this case," Ardella said. "Fuck, I hate giving up on a patient."
"I know you do but it's for the best," Sonya said.
"Apparently I remind him of Carmella. Whoever signed me to him to begin with didn't look enough into that. I'm gonna have a word with our boss about it. This can't happen again. Someone might die next time," Ardella said.
Ardella let go of the table and stood up.
"He tried so hard to figure out if I was lesbian or straight," Ardella said.
"It would have blown his mind to learn you're bisexual then," Sonya smiled. "I'm pampering you tonight, babe. You deserve it."
"Thanks, honey," Ardella smiled back. "I gotta go clean up and then I'm calling it the day."
"We're calling it the day," Sonya said. "No kiss until you've cleaned that blood off your face. I'm taking you home right after. We're gonna order takeout and I'm gonna run you a bath and then give you a full body massage. Should we stop by a flower shop on our way home? I think you've earned some flowers and chocolate. Maybe a bottle of wine as well."
"Flowers," Ardella chuckled. "Yeah, I'd like some flowers."
