Title/Link: Close Call

School: Hogwarts, Year 2

Story Topic: Pacing & Sentence Fragments

WC: 682

A/N: Slight canon divergence

TW: Mentions of poison and near-death.

Please see the end for sentences to be judged.


Poisoned. And on his seventeenth birthday, no less.

Hermione hovered over Ron's hospital bed. Her worried stare could burn a hole through the mattress while she watched him sleep. At least, she hoped he was asleep. She refused to let her mind wander to the worst-case scenario.

Though they hadn't spoken in months, Hermione waited with bated breath for news on Ron's condition. He was still her best friend. No fight could ever change that.

"Mr. Weasley will be fine, but he needs a lot of rest to recover." Madam Pomfrey's sternness cut through the somber silence.

In an attempt to calm her frazzled state, Hermione took deep breaths and repeated the Healer's reassurance in her mind. But the mantra couldn't relax her clenched fists or how her stomach churned with discomfort. It would take a lot more to dispel her nerves. A lot more.

Ron had to wake up. There was so much she had to say to him and it was crucial to set her stubbornness aside. What would her continued avoidance prove? Nothing, that's what.

Tears welled in her eyes. Madam Pomfrey continued to speak, but the words were jumbled. Bezoar, mead, and 'just in time' cut through the static that buzzed in her ears. She forced herself to focus on Madam Pomfrey's words.

"Mr. Weasley is heavily sedated. If the potions work properly, he should not wake until tomorrow morning."

"N-not 'til morning?"

How was she supposed to wait that long? She needed to talk to him now. Right now.

"Yes, Miss Granger. Morning. Now, I have paperwork to fill out. You are welcome to stay, provided you are quiet and respectful."

The matron returned to her office, which left Hermione alone with Harry and Ron. She collapsed onto one of the stiff wooden chairs next to the bed and relied on the gentle rise and fall of Ron's chest to soothe her. The motion kept her entranced until a raw cough bubbled up from his throat.

A guttural, almost unintelligible word accompanied the sound. "Er-my-nee."

Hermione gasped and bolted upright. Her heart pounded with shock and excitement. Maybe she heard him wrong, but she could have sworn he said a disjointed version of her name.

She stared at Ron and willed him to say it again, but her luck was short-lived. Ron settled back into a peaceful slumber instead. As she sank back into her seat, she caught Harry's smirk. Her cheeks burned from the smug amusement that shone in his eyes. Of course, he'd use this moment to rub her weakened defenses in her face.

"Don't give me that look."

"What look?"

"That 'oh, she does care' look! This isn't our first row, you know. Did you really expect things to be different this time?"

"Well, you haven't spoken in four months. Can you blame me?"

"He almost died, Harry!"

"I know, Hermione, I was there. In case you missed it, I'm the one who saved his life while good ol' Sluggy stood there in shock."

"Well, thanks. Would you like an Order of Merlin?" She turned up her nose in defiance.

"No, but I wouldn't be opposed if my best friends decided to reconcile instead."

Guilt washed over her. Leave it to Harry to kick her when she was already down. Like this whole ordeal wasn't painful enough already.

Harry should have more faith in her friendship with Ron. They had found their way through fights before, and they would this time, too. Or so she hoped. It no longer mattered whether or not Ron was with Lavender, as long as he was still here.

The brevity of the situation hit her like a Stupefy to the chest. Ron was still here.

This time, she didn't bother to stop the tears that formed in her eyes. Even though it had been a close call, she still had a second chance to mend their broken friendship. No matter what it took, Hermione vowed to fix things with Ron. When it came down to it, she missed her best friend and was determined to get him back.


Please judge the following sentences:

Two Sentence Fragments:

1. Poisoned.

2. Right now.

One bad sentence fragment:

1. A lot more.