Day 13 - Won't regain consciousness with hurt!Philza

Other characters: Kristin, Technoblade

Other tags: Dream smp setting, after Nov 16th, implied suicide attempt, grief/guilt

Summary: Phil visits his lady in the aftermath of Nov 16th


In spaces between time and void, they dance.

Lady Death with her cloak of starlight is more graceful than any being Philza has ever had the honor of laying eyes upon. When she moves, constellations trace her wake. When she laughs, the universe itself rings with its echoes.

And he does not want to let go, ever.

Being divided from another that completes you so thoroughly is more painful than what reason could name, perhaps that's why her gaze softens and her fingers curl against his cheeks when she tells him.

"You have to go back."

Phil takes her wrist and presses his lips to her palm, closing his eyes.

"A little longer?" he asks.

They round the room once more, slowly, then faster. Spinning as planets do in constant states of gravitational pull - unable to tear away from each other. Each time they round the circumference, she stops. And each time, Phil begs her to let him stay.

She is compassionate. "How much longer?"

Her hair is midnight black, but where the light catches it he can see every color that has ever existed. He can see infinity. He threads his fingers through it.

"Forever, if you don't mind."

Her chuckle is warm and endless, but not sincere. He means the words - she knows he means them. That doesn't change her belief.

He has to leave again.

"It isn't your time yet," she tells him simply.

"Aren't you the one who decides that?"

"I am." Phil leans into her touch, wanting to relish it. She isn't gone yet and he already misses her. "And I'm deciding you have to go."

"Why?"

When she kisses his forehead, it's with a finality that will not be denied. Not this time.

"Because there are others who need you."

"Not anymore," Phil says - resolution and grief. "Wilbur, he… they don't, Kristin. They don't need me. There's nobody."

He can't go back. Not after he failed their son.

"You did everything," she says as if reading his mind. "You will continue to do everything. You know how."

Phil wants to cry with how empty it feels.

When he opens his eyes, it's to the inside of Technoblade's cabin and not his own. The sight has a smile play along his lips, even if it won't reach any deeper down.

"Phil?" His friend is sitting on a chair beside the bed. When he notices Phil has woken up, something indescribable passes over his face. Something much graver than relief, though it's the dominant emotion Phil can decipher at the moment.

He reaches out so they can hold each other's hands. "Techno."

And Techno doesn't ask him why he did it. Phil is glad, because he does not have an answer that could satisfy him.

(And Techno doesn't ask him why he came back. Phil is glad, because he does not want to explain it wasn't his choice to make)