The story Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura weave is entirely unbelievable. They don't offer names or timeframes, don't toss about accusations, but their meaning is clear regardless. Clear and impossible. They don't say it outright but they don't need to. Time travel is distinctive enough on it's own. It also doesn't exist. To manipulate time to that degree would be hubris. Even the Hiraishin teeters on the edge of the natural and unnatural worlds. It's near instant transportation, after all, and that requires the user to dabble in time itself.

What the three before him are implying, however, is that they pulled themselves back through time before their own births. They would have nothing to tie themselves to this time and so they shouldn't have been able to time travel. Sakura catches his gaze and he can tell she's serious in her claims, just as her teammates are with theirs. She tilts her head into the slightest nod.

"We didn't make the seal on our own," she says and her quiet voice cuts through the argument most of the rest of the room has dissolved into like a hot knife through butter. "I don't think we could have. Naruto has a talent for fuuinjutsu like most of his family but he was never taught to create seals, to use that talent. Sasuke and I have skilled that lie in different areas." Tobirama's lips twist and he itches to deny what the pink-haired medic is saying. What she's going to say.

"How did you do it, then?" Izuna asks, slow and dangerous. He's figured it out at well. Madara and Hashirama- they just look lost. They haven't been watching the trio, though, not like Tobirama and Izuna have. They've been on the outskirts of this mess and now they've been drawn in only because their time traveling guests wanted them to. Sakura rocks back on her heels, humming low in her throat. Sasuke and Naruto seem content to let her have the lead.

"We found the basis for the seal. It was half-finished, made by a man who knew where it all went wrong and wanted it changed, fixed. The Nidaime never had the chance to finish or to use it but we stumbled across it and we were far more determined than our enemies gave us credit for. Far more desperate. The seal took too much chakra for even an Uzumaki Jinchuuriki to activate. Too much even for three chakra tanks. Luckily, there were five of us. A Hokage with nothing to preside over, a medic with no one to heal, a man who got his revenge and found himself all the worse for it. Our sensei, broken and jagged from a lifetime of betrayal and loosing those closest to him. A man who saw the ending his action wrought and realized that it wasn't worth it. Nothing was worth that ending." Sakura shrugs delicately.

"We're here to ask for help," Naruto says, quieter and more somber than Tobirama has ever seen him. "To save the world. To save Konoha."

"And how would we do that?" Madara asks suspiciously, as he should. The trio of impossibilities exchanges a long, darkly amused look.

"Prepare your strongest attacks?" Sasuke offers with a sharp grin, his one visible eye spinning into the mangyekou sharingan. Tobirama tenses, rolling forward on his toes so he could easily stop whatever attack is coming. The attack, of course, doesn't come from anyone he expects. Instead, the air twists, and a half-black, half-white plant person that looks almost like an aloe vera (or a Venus flytrap, he thinks, remembering Naruto's words from earlier) is dumped into the center of the room. He, like any sane shinobi, immediately attempts to drown it with a Water Dragon. At the same time, Hashirama tries to rip the creature apart with mokuton. His water is soon replaced by fire- both regular and Amaterasu. Someone is screaming and Tobirama punches Izuna on principal. There's a miniature explosion that doesn't destroy the Hokage's office only because of the many, many seals on the room. The room is also charged with electricity and Tobirama realizes that it's really too small of a room for seven people (nine- where did the one-eyed Uchiha and Hatake pair come from?) to collectively attack a sentient plant. A plant planning world domination, if Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke are to be believed.

As suddenly as the chaos started, it comes to a stop. The room is strangely silent in the absence of screaming and jutsu being thrown about. There is a soggy blackened char in the center of the room that used to be some sort of living creature. They all watch the charbroiled pile for a moment before Naruto laughs shakily.

"Well that was easier than I- HOLY FUCK IT TWITCHED!" He shrieks, voice reaching impressive octaves. Naruto, Sasuke, Madara, and Hashirama proceed to attack again, despite the fact that the 'twitch' was just the charcoal crumbling. The screaming from earlier was apparently a joint effort between Madara, Hashirama, and Naruto, one that they resume now. Sakura sighs, or Tobirama assumes she does, he can't hear her, pinching the bridge of her nose in exasperation. Tobirama understands the sentiment, glowering at the four idiots, two of which are his. The second attack settles and what was charcoal is now a very tiny pile of fine ash. It's hard to believe the pile was once at all a human-sized sentient plant creature.

"Are you done?" Tobirama asks. Hashirama smiles wobbly, looking like he's on the verge of tears.

"J-just as long a-as it doesn't t-twitch again." Tobirama finds himself exchanging a glance with Izuna, which he never would have though possible a year ago. The Uchiha heir gives the pile of ash a doubtful look.

"I don't think it can twitch, even if it wanted to," he remarks dryly. Tobirama snorts.

"It'd be a bit impressive, actually," he agrees, apparently much to Hashirama and Naruto's horror. The door creaks open and Hashirama's assistant pokes his head in, shaking like a leaf. Everyone turns towards the poor man and Tobirama realizes, rather suddenly, that they never activated the silencing seals.

"I-i-is everything a-alright?" The man squeaks out. Then, without warning and before anyone can respond to the poor assistant, Izuna turns and swipes his legs out from under him and he lands on the floor with a crash. He blinks up at the Uchiha heir before shrugging as best as he could while on the ground.

"Fair enough," he says agreeably. The assistant faints.

iii

Naruto, Hashirama, Madara, & Sasuke: *in the background screaming as they chuck incredibly over-powered jutsu at what used to be Zetsu*
Tobirama: There's probably a very logical explanation somewhere in this mess.
Obito: *laughs at his naivety*
Kakashi: Logic? With Naruto? I'd like some of whatever you're smoking, please.
Sakura: Kami, me too.
Tobirama & Izuna: *concern*