There was a sense of victory somewhere in there but above all it was the feeling of satisfaction. Jim felt satisfied with himself, with the world, with everything. He was happy.
He had enough of life experience to know the feeling won't last forever so he enjoyed it without guilt. It was his to experience and he won't shy away from it. Spock was now his. It was such a definite feeling of belonging that Jim worried a bit that it will make him lose his nervous edge in commanding his people but as tasks were presented before him he had no troubles making decisions and giving orders.
Even to Spock. Although, he was always weak towards Spock. Even before it was always clear that he commands Spock only because he estimates it's the best course of action. If he decides Jim's decisions are harmful or bad, he will object, he always has. That discussion between them was the crucial part of Jim's ability to command. He could do so with confidence because he knew that either Spock, or Bones will object if he strays away from the path.
Their objections often proved to be wrong but when they were right he would adjust his command. That made him a good Captain, the ability to adjust.
This wasn't any different than his usual adjustment. Now he had to adjust to the change between him and Spock. Where there was friendship before, grew intimacy too. It wasn't a big change, only a natural progression of their lives. Still, it gave Jim a sense of security.
There was no life he had to find when he exits his ship duty. His life was here, with him all along.
They approached New Vulcan and Spock lifted his eyebrow expressing some inner doubt he didn't share with Jim. It was a moment before they were close enough for greetings so he went over to Spock's station to consult his science officer about the next step.
"So, Spock," Jim started gently making Spock turn and look at him with his dark eyes. "How shall we proceed? Will you take over greetings? Did you arrange everything beforehand?"
"I made my arrangements," Spock got up and they moved towards the central area silently agreeing to make their greetings together.
Diplomats came in, they greeted their hosts and then they beamed down to the surface.
"Are you going in alone or do you need me to hold your hand?" Jim pulled Spock to the side to stall for a moment longer.
He wondered will his face be colder when he exits and how it will feel to see him like that.
"You holding my hand would defeat the purpose of Kolinar, Captain," Spock said firmly clasping his hands behind his back. "I doubt I would be able to reach it if you were present."
"Yes, of course, my emotionality would disrupt your focus," Jim said trying to think of something else that would allow them to stand like this but nothing came to mind.
Bones strolled in and strode towards them. The moment was gone, Spock will leave now. He should but Jim was unable to let him go.
"There you are," Bones cut in. "I was wondering what to do on this hell forsaken planet with only green blooded goblins being silent and judging you rationally. Is there even a bar here? You should know Spock. Come on, show us around. Reveal the wild side of Vulcan to us."
"No, Bones, Spock has previous arrangement. He has to go. He can't entertain us."
"Always mysterious, off you go then. We'll find some liquor on our own, won't we, Jim?"
"Captain, I must go now," Spock said quietly.
"Of course, Spock," Jim looked at him and then there was a pause.
"Well, go on then," Bones cut in. "Don't let us keep your company waiting."
Spock's eyes darted down shortly and Jim realized he was holding Spock's sleeve the whole time. He let it go and nodded. Spock turned to leave.
"If I didn't know better," Bones murmured. "I would say you two part like you'll never see each other again. Come on, Jim, surely there's some Vulcan ladies that don't look half bad."
"On the other hand, Captain," Spock turned around suddenly. "Even if you can't come with me, because of customs, as my partner you can wait outside. They can't deny you access."
"I can? That would be lovely," Jim rushed forward with relief grabbing on to his sleeve again.
They moved as one with the sense of relief.
"Wait just a damn minute," Bones rushed after them. "What partner? When did that happen?"
Jim looked at him with discomfort. They forgot to discuss is their bond public or will they keep it private. Since Spock was the one who told was it alright to share? He looked at Spock and got a tilt of a head. Spock wasn't a man to lie, to him it was probably normal for things to be transparent.
"I haven't had time to discuss it with you. It's just something that happened. We partnered up. Now we're an item. They can't relocate one without the other."
"What about me? I'll be discarded like I'm nothing to you."
"You're family Bones," Jim had no time to think it though so he said what felt real. "We stick together through thick and thin."
"You bet I am. Where are we going? Will we wait for him to get a fancy green tattoo on his butt?"
"No, Bones," Jim looked at Spock to see a nod, he can share. "Spock is going to go through Kolinar. It's an ancient ritual of purging all emotions."
"What the hell? Don't you think that the pointy ears here is emotionless enough already? You should have dissuade him from that. Where's your common sense, man?"
"It's Vulcan way, Bones. We should be more open minded. Besides, Spock has his reasoning for doing so and we will support his choices."
"Support his choices my ass," Bones grumbled. "We will be the ones suffering his logic and lack of humour like we first met him. Do you hear me, Spock? It's a bad idea and I'm firmly against it. Ancient things are usually better left to stay in the past. What are these, Dark Ages? Everyone is allowed to have a warm decent feeling from time to time, even you, Spock."
"I thank you, Doctor, for your concern. You know I always appreciate your input."
"See, how easy it is for you to say thank you these days. It took us years to get you there. Will you be able to say it after you become an emotionless machine?"
Spock stopped looking at Bones.
"I won't be a machine, Doctor. I will still be Spock. For the knowledge I obtained, that will be intact. Only my emotions will not get in the way of my logic. It's most beneficial for the crew and our mission if I operate to the best of my abilities."
"Best of your abilities my ass," Bones shook his head. "You're more to us than an efficient science officer. You're our friend and it's an accomplishment to make your damn mouth to curve in amusement from time to time. How will Jim live if he has no such accomplishment in his day? He'll be a grumpy demanding prick he always is when you have your foul moods."
Spock and Jim glanced at each other. There was nothing to say. They were on display most of the time and their crew observed them closely.
"Let it go, Bones. Spock has made up his mind. He'll still be Spock we love. Off you go and tell us what bars you found out here."
"No way. You said it yourself, I'm family. Besides, I want to be there to scan him after the fact to see if their ancient ritual contains ancient methods of lobotomy. If that is all there is to it, I'll fix him for you in no time."
Jim had no idea what to say to that so they resumed walking.
"I don't know if they will recognize my right to be there, Bones," Jim said as the structure came to view. "We signed no papers. I don't think they'll let me in let alone you, Bones."
"Without papers no one will recognize your partnership, Jim," Bones was upset. "You can wish it on a wishing star. For federation, only papers are binding. You have to sign the agreement as soon as possible if you decided upon it."
"They will recognize you as my mate, Captain," Spock said calmly. "For Vulcans, papers aren't so important. We perceive what is truthful."
"It is truth that you two are joined at the hip," Bones continued to follow them. "It's only understandable that you make it official. This way, Starfleet can relocate you at any moment. To appeal is to wait for years. I should know. My ex-wife made me wait in courts for years and years until all my possessions were hers."
"And all you were left with were your bones," Jim smiled fondly and Bones smiled back.
With that, they were before the tall gate.
"I am Spock. I came to go through Kolinar," Spock greeted the guards. "This is my mate Jim Kirk. He will accompany me to the gate and wait there. With him there's Leonard McCoy, his family member that will keep him company as he waits."
The guard looked at Jim, then at Bones and just nodded letting them through.
"Damn it, Jim, I guess it's true that we're a family now. I have no other anyway. I should have brought my bag with me but luckily my scanner and essential medicine is always with me. With the two of you, there's no telling when I'll have to be a field doctor healing rocks, gods and delivering babies."
"I appreciate your presence, Bones," Jim said feeling uneasy as they walked through silent tall corridor full of pillars. "It makes dreary situations less deadly."
"You can say that again," Bones murmured looking around. "These Vulcans know how to rebuild so everything looks old, don't they?"
In silence, they approached the tall gate.
"This is where we part, Captain," Spock's voice was deep and resonating.
Jim looked up at him sensing the distance. It was like Spock was already far away in meditation. Not waiting for a cue, Jim let go of his sleeve and stepped a step back.
"See you later," Jim said quietly.
"Yea, go get them tiger," Bones added leaning in the line of view.
Spock turned to go but then paused.
"I don't know how I will be when I exit," he said quietly.
"I know, off you go," Jim smiled. "Beat them at their own game."
Spock looked at him and nodded before surprising Jim with a sudden hug. Jim hugged him back tightly patting his back. It was the right thing to do. Spock needed this. He shouldn't be denied his culture and his choices.
"I won't be long," Spock said and went away.
The door closed behind him and Jim was left alone with Bones.
"Don't worry, Jim," Bones squeezed his shoulder. "He's a big boy. He'll be fine."
"I know, Bones. I know," Jim sighed and started pacing.
Bones sat on the bench leaning against the wall. If they knew to do something well, they knew how to wait for the universe to change around them.
Spock approached the tall door wondering why he brought Jim and Doctor with him. It would be better if they went together and be distracted but when Doctor mentioned ladies Spock just reacted.
It was the last possible moment for him to do this. His emotions were on the verge of becoming a permanent part of his nature. When he exits the tall door, he will be able to let Jim go and roam around without feeling this possessive feeling of jealousy.
Jim held his sleeve and Spock was aware of the contact. It wasn't lost on him. It was as much as comforting to Spock as it was to Jim.
They stopped before the door and Spock said his goodbye. It was best this way, he decided. His mind won't be distracted by the thought of Jim out there being smiled at from various sides. He was a man to be admired.
Spock went to go but it felt hollow somehow so he hugged Jim. It felt right to do so. When he exits, he wasn't sure will he sense this pleasure he got from putting his arms around Jim.
When that was over, there was no way to stall it anymore so he went through the door to meet his jurors. Will he be able to pass under their unyielding stares and prove himself as a worthy Vulcan whose logic is infallible, whose emotions are ones that can be submerged to the point of non-existence.
Spock stepped through the door and suddenly he was on the ground of Vulcan in the ancient circles. The tall broken pillars stood and the heat was as merciless as it was on Vulcan before it was destroyed.
The sensation of the thin air ached Spock. He knew it was a hologram projection but it felt wrong. The less than real nature of it made Spock resistant on his first step.
Why couldn't they accept that Vulcan died and continue to do their rituals incorporating the new ground into the fabric of the ritual, claiming the new soil for their own?
"This is for you, Spock," T'Pau spoke up appearing by his side. "It was your doing that Vulcan was destroyed. That must be a strong emotion that will be hard to purge from your mind. If you can't let that go, you can't achieve full Kolinar state."
"It wasn't my doing," Spock said calmly. "I felt devastated when it happened, it's only natural to do so but the logic told me how it was a turn of events that were set in a pattern. My older-self made his decisions upon revising his logic I must say I would do the same. Not all consequences are ours to claim. We are not gods, we just act using facts that are available to us. Consequences that aren't calculated in those facts are the chaotic factor we can not control. It's illogical to feel guilt for the way universe operates."
"The way the universe operates separated us from old customs. In new circumstances we must adapt. It's illogical to use sentiment but it proved that Vulcans react better when the setting is familiar. This New Vulcan still isn't embedded in our sub consciousness. Its plains aren't scorching. We use the simulation to allow the mind to rest in its familiarity as we search paths through the wilderness of our mind."
"Must I walk the path now?" Spock turned towards the stone path.
"The path isn't there anymore so it would be illogical to go through steps as it was. We know it isn't there. The reality of the strenuous walk that might end up in death can't be replicated in holodeck. In our new reality, we need to accept that the necessity of survival is greater than the necessity of a flawless test that rejects for the smallest of reasons."
"Are you saying that in the fear of extinction you're not testing people but letting anyone through the gate?" Spock said dissatisfied.
"I always appreciated your unique point of view," T'Pau nodded. "No, we are as strict as ever but rituals are stripped to their core. There's no days and days of mediation. There's the path of introspection at the end of it there's a choice. A temptation of emotions and the salvation of logic. You choose. Whichever you choose, your purpose as a Vulcan will remain equally precious."
"You're saying that in the lack of numbers you lost your rigid prejudices. What will make us Vulcans if logic isn't our greatest axiom?"
"We are still Vulcan enough that no one chooses emotionality but you might since half of you is Human. I hear you brought with you Humans and that one of them is your mate. T'Pring came back to say you didn't want her. Being petty over a challenge isn't becoming of you. Challenge is her right to test your worth."
"It's not her right to make me kill my friend who isn't Vulcan and doesn't stand a chance in hand to hand combat."
"He survived and he now stands as your mate. Your choice doesn't seem logical. There's no benefit in it."
"The fact that she planned for him to die remains. It's more logical to choose a mate who you can rely on with your life than that one who seeks a way to betray you."
T'Pau shrugged her shoulders admitting his reasoning and gestured towards the path.
Spock stepped on the path thinking of Jim. He was the most logical choice and if it was his to choose he would see it sooner. He walked the path looking around at the familiar sights. It was the path that led away from his home to the shrine in the mountains.
Now Spock new the scenery wasn't put there to invoke tradition but to test Spock and his determination. It was there to make him sentimental, to think of his mother, of all the things they have lost.
In the end, it did serve its purpose. It made him think of his mother and all the fondness he had for her was woken up.
He paused at the hill and looked over. The roof of his house could be seen. If he goes in that direction, he could see the house. That was the wrong way, he knew that well. It was a path towards emotions.
He choose the right path as he always did and went up the mountain alone. Before Vulcan was destroyed, he would spend days with no end alone, exposed to the elements as he removed layers of his lower instincts.
After they lost Vulcan, the instruction was to meditate in days leading up to Kolinar and arrive ready so everyone would be most efficient losing as little time possible.
Spock did meditate achieving the state of deep surrender and freedom from emotions but then Jim would stride along smiling at him and he would lose the state of peace. He would regain it quickly because he was well versed in purging emotions whenever they would appear. It was a ritual of his he did in his every waking hour.
The practice of Kolinar didn't seem all that much different than his discipline which made him operate logically as a Vulcan should.
He climbed the mountain and to his surprise Sybok awaited him sitting on the slope. At first, Spock thought Sybok is a part of simulation made to remind him of a Vulcan they had lost to emotionality but then Sybok looked at him smiling and Spock knew it couldn't be a projection, it was his brother. His age was appropriate and he has changed in ways Spock couldn't predict.
"Brother," Spock greeted him with a nod. "I'm glad to see you here. I guess the destruction of Vulcan was enough for you to return to your duties."
"No, of course it wasn't, Spock," Sybok hit his shoulder grabbing him firmly. "It was you who brought me back."
"Me? We haven't seen each other since you were banished for spreading emotionality among Vulcans."
"Older you, the wise one," Sybok laughed. "He took me to Sha-Gri-La. We went to see God just to find another machine, another threat that needed to be neutralized. After that, I had to accept that I will never find God. Instead, I'm offering an alternative to Vulcans, a way to live with your emotions. You have gone the long way around and reached the same conclusion I have that the life without emotions barren and void, that there's no joy in it, no purpose. I'm here to show you, to share the experience so you can choose wisely."
"No, thank you," Spock shook his head. "I realized by now how that older version of me choose to be emotional I am here to rectify that mistake. I already peeked into his mind. There's no need for you to show it to me again."
"Not your mind, the mind of the machine V'ger we defeated together you and I. It was frightening to meld with the machine, you never saw such a void. He took me to dismantle it to prevent you from giving them humans to experiment on. There's hope Borg won't rise because of that. Come on, I'll show you."
"I see now that they made a real challenge for me to face. I choose to go past you. I melded with machines before and the void they carry is of no human nature. The suppression of emotions isn't the same as never having them in the first place. You'll forgive me, brother, but I will climb this mountain till its end. My whole life I've been climbing it. I think now it's time to see what it is all about and conquer other tasks instead."
"I'll walk with you a part of the way," Sybok turned to lead. "There's nothing to it, really and you are right. Even Vulcans who went through Kolinar had more meaning and warmth than a machine."
They walked in silence along the familiar path they walked together many times when they were children. Occasionally, Sybok would put a hand to Spock's shoulder and pointed at something. Spock would nod and they would keep on walking.
Spock had to admit that there was a dose of shared feeling in this walk, a sense of satisfaction and reconnection. He suspected that the test wasn't about melding minds with Sybok, of inspecting distant computers but about being close to his brother he lost long time ago. It was comforting to see him alive and well, to see him accepted among Vulcans once again.
They reached the top where the shrine was.
There was no one at the shrine but there were a door that didn't belong there. The door led to the chamber of initiation.
"I won't go in there with you," Sybok paused. "I'll return and wait for you before the gate. The chamber of initiation still gets me too angry not to argue against them."
Spock nodded and went through the door thinking what Jim will think of Sybok when they meet.
In the chamber, old Vulcans awaited for him. Wise T'Pau of his clan was in the middle. His father stood on the right.
The sight before him reminded Spock of another. When he stood before the ministers and refused the acceptance to Vulcan Academy choosing Starfleet Academy instead. Spock and his father didn't speak for years after he did that.
Was this like that? Was he here just to refuse them? Will his father stop talking to him if he does that?
Sometimes Spock didn't know his own mind. It was like he didn't know what he will choose until the last moment came.
Like he's an obedient Vulcan and not the rebellious one, he approached them and knelt on the floor before T'Pau.
"Are you ready, Spock, to receive the highest rank of being a Vulcan. We were with you in thought as you walked the path and all your thoughts were rational, there was no regret, guilt or hesitation as you made your steps. Your ability of suppression is a great one. With this neckless, we will join our minds with yours giving you the ability to feel no emotions, to be purged from irrational impulses and be free to make your choices logical and reasonable as any conscious being should."
Spock listened to her but his mind was focused on the neckless in her hands. It was the neckless that stood broken on the ground in the vision oracle offered them.
It could be any neckless of this kind broken but by the uneven shape if its crystals Spock was sure it was exactly this one. Will he break it later on when he realizes they sealed his lid of emotions in a way he can't ever lift it again?
He imagined the life where his lid was so firmly shut that it can't leak out even the slightest of emotions. The sadness over losing his mother would be forever gone. Irk of a feeling when he sees Sybok would be unrecognizable. The desire for his father's approval would be gone.
Spock looked over to his father and saw him looking at the distance and not at him. He didn't look like he was proud or invested in this moment. He looked like he's somewhere far away experiencing a memory, an emotion of loss.
His father never went through Kolinar. He remained in the realm of mild emotions to be able to have a connection with Spock's mother, to keep her company.
Spock thought of the sunset he watched on Jim's face because he didn't watch the horizon, he observed how Jim's face changed in amazement and awe as he faced the new star in a new sky.
"Spock," T'Pau spoke up harshly. "Your mind is drawn to another. You have to cut the last connection so we can enter and seal the door that lead down to irrational realm of desire."
"Which connection, I maintained my mind empty."
"I must be in your mind to lead you," T'Pau placed her bony fingers on his temple and the familiar onslaught came to his mind, it was uncomfortable but it was demanded of him.
In his mind, he could see her waking to the open door. Behind the door Jim paced left and right trying to seem calm but being nervous and impatient. Sybok came through the door and Jim rushed towards him. They talked and Jim got irritated.
"Brother? Spock has no brother."
"He does have a brother. I am Sybok, his brother."
"Does not. I know for a fact Spock has no brother."
"True, I'm his half-brother," Sybok nodded.
"I knew it," Jim was triumphant before getting confused. "Half-brother? He never told me he has a half-brother."
T'Pau stood before the door pointing at the knob.
"You have to close it," she said firmly. "We will seal them after you close it."
"But he's my mate. I'm bonded for him for life."
"Yes and that will remain written in your biology but his influence is too direct. He can't have access to your mind. His emotions are too erratic, soon you would feel them as they are your own. For Kolinar to be, you must close the door."
Spock looked at Jim who was now smiling at Sybok.
"To close that door means to lose access to his mind forever," Spock said evenly.
"Yes, that is what Kolinar is all about, to purge all emotions. For you, this door are the essence of your weakness towards humanity. He represents everything that is emotional in your life. With him in your mind, you'll never be free of emotions."
Spock looked at Jim who kept on pacing talking something he couldn't hear. As he did, he clasped his hands behind his back.
"No," Spock calmly said to T'Pau. "His mind is the most complex and suitable mind I ever encountered. If the price of Kolinar is to lose access to him, I decline."
"That is not logical," T'Pau examined him closer trying to penetrate his reasoning. "Yet, it seems like it's not an emotional driven decision. How can you choose emotionality from a rational standpoint? You must see that our way is better. His way always leads to conflict and chaos, I see that clearly in your mind. Logic is the only thing that leads to true peace."
"As I said before, it's logical to choose the one you can trust your life with. To lose access to his mind is to lose tactical advantage that saved us in many conflicts. It's illogical to choose to lose an insight, an advantage to be replaced with numbness. For you, who guard tradition and make decisions for Vulcan it's advantageous to be emotionless. For me, who go and live among humans who are getting into conflicts all the time to not see emotions is like choosing to be blind among them. Without Captain's insight, I would fail to function among them and that would make me obsolete to their purpose. I need my emotions to be able to help them resolve conflicts efficiently."
"I see no flaw in your logic," T'Pau nodded but didn't back away. "Still, I don't trust you. It's like you can lie to me even when our minds are one. There is logic in your choice but I suspect there is an emotional reason behind it as well."
"If your mind wasn't devoid of emotion, you would be able to detect it but since you choose to be numb and not to perceive emotions it's indecipherable to you as it is to read ancient Klingon."
"Spock, it seems to me that you are more dangerous for Vulcan ways than Sybok is. He offers raw emotionality without reason. You reason for emotionality as it is a sensory ability we are in disadvantage without. I'm starting to think how T'Pring was right, that it is best for us that you travel far away and visit us rarely."
"I concur with her. I shall leave promptly. My Captain is getting impatient as it is. Soon, he might try to enter and check am I alright."
"He acts as you're his property. He has no right to."
"He has every right. He is my mate."
"Human who is a mate is more of a pet than a companion," she said with disdain. "They can never truly understand the nature of being a Vulcan."
"Luckily for me I am half-Human. To that half he understands me better than any Vulcan ever did."
With that, T'Pau left his mind. He was once again kneeling before them T'Pau held the neckless. She looked at him and for a moment he doubted did the Kolinar truly remove all emotion because as she left his mind he could sense a submerged anger in her. If she wasn't Vulcan he would say she was offended by his refusal.
"Spock, you are not to receive Kolinar," she threw the neckless and it broke just like it was broken in the oracle window. "Your logic is impeccable in choosing to keep your emotions in a balanced control as you did so far. Go and serve Vulcan by being among Humans. Among them to be without emotions is truly to be blind and in danger."
With that, she turned and left the room. Others followed her. Only Spock's father remained.
Slowly, he approached Spock and without a word offered him a hand to get up from his knees.
Spock got up but father didn't let go of his hand.
"I won't stop speaking with you over this," father said. "I understand. I was wrong enough the first time around. Your mother would be proud this time as she was when you left for Starfleet."
"Thank you, father," Spock nodded.
"Let's greet your friends and your brother. We should have a meal together before you leave. Your mother would insist upon it although I never understood why a meal would be so important. We saw each other. Meal won't change that."
"We should have a meal. It will mean something significant to my friends. I must inform you that Jim Kirk is now my mate. I think he finds that as significant as well."
"As do you," father nodded with a gesture Spock read as approval. "I observe both of you since he saved us from destruction. You two work well together. It is logical."
They went out and were greeted by Jim who looked relieved searching for something in Spock's face but not making contact. It seemed unnecessary to make contact before others so they continued to talk and walk separated. They had a meal where Jim talked to his father and brother seemingly in a good mood.
Spock didn't say much. He was sorting out his inner thoughts wondering why his emotional lid was so quiet. It was like he truly lost his emotions. He had no other reaction but logic. His choice was logical. To lose Jim would be to lose insight and advantage.
He was as he always was, Jim's friend and it was logical to maintain the promise of that vow. Not to induce unnecessary emotions he looked at everyone except for Jim. To look at him for too long was a sure way of provoking emotions.
Father and Sybok accepted his decision as one made from logic. There was no reason to give them reason to doubt when all he had to do was to maintain this calm state of mind until he reaches the safety of Enterprise.
Among Humans, no matter how emotional he became, he was always rational and cold compared to him.
He forgot how strenuous was to maintain a sufficient amount of coldness to appear normal among Vulcans. Even Sybok, who prided himself of submerging deep into emotions, was more controlled and less emotional than Spock was.
The meal ended and he parted with his family feeling the relief when he left their company.
"I don't get it," Bones spoke up when they were alone on the street, the three of them. "How did you partner up if you signed no papers? It just doesn't make any sense. You two should be more rational than that. It's like writing promises on the sand just for them to be erased by the next wave. That might work here on Vulcan where everyone can read your damn mind but it won't work anywhere else."
"True, Doctor," Spock looked around searching for signs, he wasn't familiar with New Vulcan. "We should sign that paper before boarding Enterprise. On Enterprise the Captain has the ability to produce papers but even he can't sign his own partnership twice. An Earth Embassy should be here somewhere. They can provide us with papers there."
"Now, Spock?" Jim pulled his sleeve he grabbed on to as soon as they left father's house. "Are you sure? You might be still dizzy from their rituals."
"He's fine," Doctor once again took out his scanner and scanned him. "There's nothing different about him that I can detect. I checked three times already. Either their ritual is mumbo jumbo or it can't be traced at all."
"I decided not to go through Kolinar, I declined them. I thought that much was obvious when I exited. If I succeeded, I would wear white robes and the initiation neckless."
"You didn't go through with it? Why, Spock?" Jim grabbed his hand. "Never mind why, you'll tell me later. I think the embassy is that way. We should be there in no time," Jim pulled him by the hand and led the way.
"Wait just one damn second," Doctor ran after them. "I want to know now. Later you never share it with me. What was it Spock? You choose to feel because you got accustomed to us, you recognized how a warm emotion can light up any dull day."
"I concluded, Doctor, that to walk among you irrational beings without being able to recognize emotions is like being blind. When your actions don't hold logic at all I am left to navigate with are your raging emotionalism."
"Did you insult us again, Spock?" Doctor got irritated. "There would be no difference if you took that Kolinar test twice. There's no emotions in you to purge, that's why they flanked you."
"Shut up, Bones," Jim grabbed Doctor and pushed them all in the embassy. "Just stand there quietly and be our witness."
Soon, they stood before the ambassador and signed the papers. After that, there was nothing left to do but to go back home to Enterprise. As they beamed up, Spock discovered that he feels quite satisfied with how things transpired. Still, there was no sign of his inner lid clattering. Spock found that disquieting but there was no time to think about it.
They were back at Enterprise. That meant immediate assignments. Spock tended to his duties with his mind calm and clear as he did go through with Kolinar.
In the back of his mind, Jim waited patiently waiting for something. Spock had no idea what but he had no time to investigate. Later, after his tasks are done. The only problem is that on the ship that is constantly awake tasks are an unending stream of repetition.
