Cas goes out to the garden and looks up the hill. There he sees a figure sitting on the grass, so he takes a blanket and head his way.
Once he reaches the top he sits down beside him and puts the blanket on his shoulder.
"Hello, Dean"
Dean smiles and leans his head on his shoulder.
"Hey"
After a minute of sitting in silence Cas takes Dean's hand and intertwines their fingers while caressing the back of his hand with his thumb.
He feels Dean start to shake beside him and holds him closer.
"Wanna talk about it?"
Dean sighs and moves to sit in front of him, legs interlaced and foreheads resting on each other.
"It's been a year"
Cas hums and lets him take his time to let it out.
"I know I should be happy. That was the day you were finally happy. The day you finally told me you loved me"
A tear runs down his cheek.
"But it was also the worst day of my life. I felt so hopeless. First I thought it was my fault you were gonna die because I decided to go after Billie, and then it was my fault"
"Dean…"
"I know, I know. It was your choice. But you wouldn't have died if it wasn't for me"
"I wouldn't have been happy neither if it wasn't for you"
Dean starts to say something but Cas interrupts him.
"You know I don't regret any moment with you… well, except for when I hurt you"
"And when I hurt you", says Dean with regret.
"And even then, it helped me get closer to you, understand you and love you"
"Even when I was being a dick to you? Cas, you know I-"
"No. We've had this conversation before. We're both sorry, we're both to blame. Mainly it was Chuck's fault"
"Yeah, but I'll never forgive myself for treating you that way"
"I know, but we're okay. Jack is okay. There's no more fighting monsters. We are together, no more secrets. And we are happy, aren't we? Aren't you?"
Dean lifts his hand to Cas' cheek.
"Cas, I'm the happiest I've been. Not even the Djinn dream made me this happy"
He kisses his cheek and hugs him tight.
"I'm sorry, I'm being a downer. I didn't mean to bring all this on you. Let's just enjoy our day. We should celebrate"
Cas leans back and holds his shoulders.
"Dean, it's okay to feel this way. It was a difficult day, for both of us, but especially for you. It was a very traumatic experience"
"Jeez, Cas. It wasn't that bad"
Cas stares at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Okay, fine. It was the worst moment of my life, but I got you back, so everything's fine"
"It obviously isn't if it still affects you this way"
Dean lets out a deep breath and rest his head on Cas' chest. Cas wraps his arms around his back and moves his hands up and down his spine.
"I just… This is a big deal for me. I know we've talked about it before, but today I… I kept remembering everything you said and how I just stood there. Cas, those were supposed to be your last moments and I couldn't even say it back. Couldn't even say goodbye. I should have held you, told you how I felt, anything! But I just stood there and then it was too late. You were gone"
"Dean, it's okay. You told me in the end"
"But what if you hadn't come back? What if Jack couldn't bring you back?"
"You told me a thousand times through the years. I know you're better with actions than words. Every time you fought for me, defended me or stayed by my side you were showing me how much you cared. And every time you shared a part of yourself with me, you were showing how much you appreciated me.
And when you built the Dean-cave just for us, for our movie nights, or recorded the mixtape you showed me how much I meant for you"
"Cas… That's just not fair. You're so good with words and I never can't say exactly what I feel"
Cas smiles and moves his hands up his neck until he's holding his face in his hands.
"Then I will say it for the both of us. Because you're forgetting that I know you, Dean Winchester"
"Yeah, well. Apparently not so well. Need I remind you that you didn't think I would reciprocate your feelings?"
"That may have had more to do with me than with you. I've never had a good self-esteem"
"I know. We had the same problem", he laughs, "as I said before, we are a couple of dumbasses"
Cas smiles, remembering that moment.
"I prefer the term trusting. Less dumb, less ass"
Dean leans in until their lips are almost touching and hums.
"Hm… I think you would like more ass"
"That was lame", he says with a small laugh as he closes the gap and kisses him sweetly.
"Was I wrong, tho?"
Cas kisses him one last time before standing up and offering his hand to Dean.
"Let's get home and you'll find out"
Dean smiles and stands up in a jump, kissing Cas deeply before running down the hill to their house.
"Come on, Cas! We're losing time!", he yells as he laughs loudly.
Cas smiles and lifts up with his wings, getting to the door just as Dean is reaching for the doorknob.
"Well, that's just cheating"
Cas holds him close by his waist and whispers in his ear, "Are you complaining?"
Dean shivers and pushes closer.
"Take me to bed, lover boy"
They kiss all the way upstairs, losing their clothes as they go. Once they reach their bedroom, they are just down to their boxers and Dean pushes Cas on the wall, kissing down his neck.
Cas groans and pulls Dean with his hands on his ass until their hips meet, which makes them both moan loudly. Dean tries thrusting again, but Cas turns them around so now Dean is the one leaning on the wall. He holds tight to Cas' shoulders while Cas runs his hands down the back of Dean's thighs, pulls him up and wraps Dean's legs around his waist.
"Cas…"
"Tell me what you want"
"You know what I want", he says as he tries to create friction between their crotches.
Cas stars sucking lightly at his neck, up his ear and across his jaw until he reaches his lips.
"Say it"
"Take me, Cas"
"As you wish, my love"
He lifts him off the wall and drops him on the bed, setting himself on top of him. He puts his hand on his cheek and runs his thumb over his bottom lip.
"We're gonna celebrate all night until you forget every bad thought in that brain of yours"
"Yes, Cas, please", he says as he reaches up to give him a long and deep kiss, "make me forget"
Dean wraps his arms around Cas' body and starts to pull down his underwear, then his own, until they are both completely naked and wrapped on each other.
Cas starts to lay kisses down his throat until he reaches his chest, and takes his time to worship Dean's nipples. After a few minutes, Dean starts to run his hands down his sides, to his hips, down his thighs then up again, never quite touching where they both needed.
"Dean," Cas groans, "don't be a tease"
Dean lets out a quiet laugh and finally takes Cas' member in his hand and starts thrusting his hand.
Cas gasps and lets out a breath over Dean's wet nipple, which makes him shiver and stop moving his hand.
"Let me take care of you"
"Whatever you want, Cas"
"Turn over. On your stomach", says Cas as he stretches to reach the lube on nightstand and drop it next to Dean.
He then kneels over Dean and leans down to whisper in his ear, "Just relax and enjoy"
He then kisses his way down Dean's spine until he reaches his round terse cheeks, spreads them apart and starts to work him open with his tongue. Dean groans loudly and buries his face in the sheets.
"Fuck, Cas"
"Not yet"
Dean laughs quietly and relaxes even more into the sheets. Cas keeps working him open with his tongue and eventually adds his fingers one by one.
"Come on, Cas. I'm ready. I can't wait any longer. I need you"
"Okay, turn around", he orders as he pulls his fingers out.
He puts a pillow under his hips to lift them up and takes his dick in his mouth.
"Ahh, Cas! I won't last long if you keep going. Please, I need you in me", he moans as he runs his fingers through Cas' hair.
Cas pulls back and starts kissing his way up to his lips, "Ready?"
"Yes, please. Yes!"
Cas positions himself at his entrance and pushes in slowly, inch by inch, kissing him deeply to distract him from any discomfort.
"Ah, fuck, Cas. You feel so good"
Cas keeps kissing him until he can't take it anymore.
"Move, please. Move"
He pulls out until just the tip is inside and pushes back in, making Dean moan loudly and wraps his arms around his neck. He repeats the same movement and they find their pace and Dean stars laying kisses on his collarbone, biting him lightly when he hits that sweet spot inside him.
After a few minutes, he holds his face in his hand caressing his cheekbones and looking him in the eye.
"I love you so much, Cas"
"I know"
"You are stealing my best lines", he smiles, kissing him.
"I love you too"
"Mmm… I'm close. Will you…?"
"Anything you want"
Dean kisses him and pushes himself up until he's sitting on Cas' lap, legs wrapped around his waist and arms around his neck, never breaking the kiss and not letting him slip out.
Suddenly, he feels that familiar electricity run through his body and he opens his eyes. No matter how many times they've done this he still gets awestruck when he sees them. He reaches with his hand until it hovers over it and then Cas nuzzles his wing against him and he runs his fingers through his feathers, making him tremble in pleasure.
"Dean…"
"Now, Cas"
Doing as he says, Cas spreads his wings behind him and moans when Dean hugs him closer, caressing where the wings meets his shoulder blades. He buries his face in Dean's neck and starts sucking and biting on his collarbones.
"Cas, please. I can't… I'm gonna… I'm so close. Please, please, please", he moans while still running his fingers down his wings.
Cas puts his hand on Dean's waist and wraps his wings around him, creating a cocoon just for them, and speeds his thrusts. Dean buries his fingers in his hair and tries to meet Cas at every thrust, chasing that sweet release.
"Cas! Fuck! I love you so much. Ah! Yes. Yes! There! Right there! I'm- You- Are you close? Please, say yes"
"Ugh, yes Dean. So close!"
"Do it, baby", he says holding his face between his hands and looking him in the eye, "Come on. Come on. Come o-".
Cas' eyes light up with grace and Dean starts to feel that overwhelming sensation of warmth, love and lust.
