Camilla Ramirez was a cheerful and playful girl, who very much enjoyed her life as a whole. The short haired teen had good friends, a happy life, and went to one of the best private high schools in Royal Woods despite her distractable nature thanks to a combination of natural smarts and her mother's dedication to making sure her sole progeny would have the opportunities she hadn't. Indeed, despite having only one parent, Camilla's mother had worked hard to make sure that Camilla had always had food on the table and honestly a better standard of living compared to most dual-parent households she'd seen in Royal Woods.

Honestly, there was nothing Camilla could really complain about. At least if she was being fair.

But as the Christian theology at her school taught, humans were flawed and imperfect, a covetous even when they ought to be content.

In Camilla's case though, her great desire was a simple one;

To have a father.

Her own had never been in her life, not even when she was a child. Her mother's lips pressed together whenever she'd asked as young girl, and finally when she was old enough those same lips had spilled the truth that 'Dad' was simply never going to be there. And for the most part, Camilla had accepted that answer, if only to comfort her mother.

But that didn't mean that she didn't feel an absence, or jealousy when comparing herself to other girls who had loving fathers, though she'd also be lying if she wasn't grateful when comparing herself to some less-fortunate girls whose fathers were far from that ideal.

And as she grew older, and more knowledgeable about the world, that desire for a dad and the unconditional love he would surely bring only grew with every new insecurity and uncertainty. As for puberty…

It became a new lens for that desire, magnifying it and distorting it with newly flourishing sexuality. With the flood of hormones, even the love of family and friends could be mistaken and twisted for something else- and with no actual figure to occupy her heart's ideal of what a father was, it was natural when her unfulfilled familial desires synthesised with libido to form a downright embarrassingly potent Father Complex within her psyche.

Her first inkling of attraction? It was toward some charming movie actor in his forties, before then the then barely-teenage girl had been wondering if she was asexual since no one her age sparked that legendary want whose rumours passed around in class and lockeroom whispers.

Her 'romantic literature'? All of it featured young women being 'instructed' or outright 'ravished' by well-established and improbably well-built older men, usually with children of their own and evil wives who failed to appreciate their endless support in the way the heroine would so it was totally okay.

The worst of course was her real life. While most older men weren't a problem for her, (since fetish or not, most men middle age and older didn't put in the effort to be the handsome foxes that most stirred her), those that did were nigh unmanageable.

Her skin flushed and sweat with a combination of anxiety and arousal, and her tongue became so thick in her mouth as to render her a babbling mess. Not it mattered of course as her mind seized up like rusty gears, and she inevitably humiliated herself like the awkward boys who'd already made asses of themselves trying to hit on her.

And of course, since fate was a bitch of a troll, she had the mixed blessing of having a friend with a very attractive father figure.

Not Joan, the blonde girl's father was a stodgy man whose presence Camilla could barely stand.

But Lyra? Her fellow brunette's (albeit one of a light brown variety who wore it in great, flowing locks) caretaker of an uncle was a tall, white-blond man whose mere presence practically ruined her for the day.


"… so, we'll have to finish up by four fifty or so, otherwise… Camilla?"

"Eh?" Camilla blinked.

"Camilla, have you heard the anything for the last few minutes?" Joan sighed.

"Uh…" Camilla's cheeks darkened in embarrassment, "how long as has it been since 'going to Lyra's house for homework?'."

Joan rolled her eyes in annoyance, and Lyra chewed down on some spaghetti with excessive force rather than vent her displeasure. The three girls were eating in their school cafeteria, a far more spacious and well-equipped one than the public high school Lyra's famous mother had once attended, and as was their habit; discussing how they'd meet up after school.

Normally it would have been at Camilla's house, or more rarely Joan's since Joan's parents seemed to have a silent disdain for the child of a single mother. But today was different, both Joan's parents were out and explicitly wouldn't allow her to have anyone over when one of them weren't in, and Camilla's home was getting fumigated after an incident.

Add in that Lyra would need to be home by five to watch over her cousins, since the adults had some kind of weird get together coming up, and that it took an hour to get to Lyra's part of Royal woods anyway by public transport; it was easier to just go to her house rather than get to someplace else and only have maybe half an hour of study together before Lyra had to go anyway.

Exactly why it had to be Lyra who watched over the house when Camilla was certain that at least some of her siblings were older than her was something of a sore subject with the girl, and both Joan and Camilla knew better than to question it even now.

And besides, Camilla wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth-

"Camilla!" Lyra's voice shook the girl from her musing, and she looked up to a less than pleased Lyra giving her a sharp look.

"I told you this was pointless." Joan sighed with irritation, "nevermind the rest of your family- she'll never hold it together while he's around."

Her voice dripped with dislike, and Lyra turned her frown to Joan instead;

"My Uncle will be mostly upstairs getting ready," Lyra confirmed. "There shouldn't be a problem."

"Camilla's literally drooling just thinking about being in the same house as him," Joan bluntly indicated to Camilla, who flushed again as she surreptitiously wiped the corner of her mouth. "How is she supposed to be better when she's actually there?"

"I-I'll be fine!" Camilla insisted. "I'll just focus on the homework and stuff instead!"

Or at least I'll try.

Joan gave her a flat look that reminded Camilla that there was no point in lying to the sour blond, and that the old argument was about to begin yet again;

"Why do you fixate on him?" Joan scowled, dropping her sandwich back onto her tray. "He's just a mediocre, middle aged webcomic artist!"

"He's a good guy!" Camilla countered, leaving her own burger on the wayside. "And he takes care of Lyra and her cousins all day-"

"And what about his own children?" Joan snapped back. "The ones whose many mothers he never married and yet still went on to make children with time and again?"

"He takes care of them too, he just can't fit them all in one house so it makes sense for them to-"

"Does he even pay child support?"

"I-"

"GIRLS!" Lyra snapped out, and the two silenced themselves as they remembered the Loud between them. Lyra's expression was stern, but there was distinct tremble to her hands. "I just want to get today over with alright? Could we not talk about my uncle for now?"

Camilla swallowed, "s-sure thing Lyra."

"Certainly, sorry to bring it up." Joan conceded, evidently realising the nerve she'd touched.

Lyra stared at them both for a moment, then seemed to deflate into her seat. "Okay… just- just do me a favour and try not to get weird at my house today?"


Things got weird at Lyra's house that day.

Things started off easy enough. The trio got off at the bus stop, then walked to Lyra's house. The ancient thing's appearance was eccentric as always, with innumerable eclectic toys and possible weapons of mass destruction strewn about the yard or lodged into difficult-to-remove sections of the house like the roof or load-bearing walls.

Joan's expression was a sort of neutral distaste, but the others could see she was looking forward to entering with all the enthusiasm one usually reserved for a nettle enema. Nonetheless, the prim and proper girl stepped in time with Lyra with a dutiful air about her.

Camilla meanwhile found herself slowing and rushing in odd intervals, and trying her best to counter either as she swung between the dread of embarrassing herself and the eagerness to see the object of her affections, or at least be in his general vicinity.

And as the ambience of the Loud House reached her, she restrained herself once more- seeing Joan frowning at her odd pace in the corner of her eye. Nonetheless, the wave of noise slowly crept up as they entered the battle-scarred front yard. By the time they reached the front door, it was a constant barrage of competing voices, clashing music and some other sounds that could have been plates clacking, metal grinding or a pet of some undetermined kind.

Joan's lips pressed together again.

Lyra however seemed unaffected, and simply pressed her index finger into the isometric pad affixed above the old-fashioned key lock-

BBZZZT!

There was a sharp cracking sound as the door was unlocked.

"Ow!" Lyra yelped back and issued a hiss as she gingerly cradled her fingers; "Aunt Luan."

"Who?" Joan gently drew Lyra back a little, "did someone-"

"No, just- let's get inside before anything else happens." Lyra sighed, "Please."

Joan bit her tongue, and Camilla followed their slightly sour friend inside once more.

It was far from the first time Camilla had been in the Loud House, but she was always struck by how… absurd the place was. The front living room was stuffed with various coats and shoes from the assorted inhabitants, who in turn all but bounced off the walls in some controlled chaos, leaving their various marks on the structure in stains, dents and outright missing plaster.

Speaking of which- the instant the door closed behind them, two of Lyra's cousins raced before them. Both had light-brown hair, before a white-haired girl pounced after them with a savage grin and what was hopefully a fake gun.

"Lupa!" Camilla jumped as Lyra's stern 'mom voice' (as she'd internally dubbed it) snapped out. "Is that Aunt Lisa's?"

Lupa paused for a moment, and Camilla could see that the gun matched no design she could remember from the movies. "It's just a tranquiliser!"

And like that she raced off.

A vein pulsed on Lyra's temple

"A tranquiliser?" Joan gasped, "Lyra, where is your uncle?"

"Probably getting ready, his 'thing' will take a while so…" Lyra calmly pulled out her phone.

"Oh thank God, the Police can-"

"Not quite," Lyra corrected as she put the phone to her ear. "Hello Lulu- yes I just spotted them with it." She nodded along with the girl on the other side of the conversation, and stuck her tongue tip out of the side of her mouth in thought for a moment as her eyes went to the second floor. "I think they're going to try to get to the attic, just make sure that-"

She paused and drew the phone away in irritation, the screen showing 'call disconnected'. "She's getting ruder by the day…"

"Lyra, what is going on?" Joan put a hand on Lyra's shoulder and turned her around with worry. "Your cousins are running around with firearms and you-"

SPPHHLLLUUGHHHKKK

There was a deep, unspeakable sound that vibrated through the house.

The background din fell for a moment, before rising again in a more subdued fashion. Lyra's slight frown disappeared, and a slightly vindictive satisfaction replaced it as she visibly relaxed. She patted Joan's hand, "don't worry Joan, it's sorted now."

"But… what was that?" Joan's lips paled. "And what did you-"

"I took care of the 'firearm'." Lyra's eyes seemed to stare off like a veteran recounting a war story. "Don't worry, they'll be fine."

"Uhh…" Camilla looked between the two women. "Maybe we should just go and get the homework done before anything else happens?"

"… Right, right," Joan finally sighed and took her hand back, shaking her head. "I swear Lyra, you're a dear but this place is… it's something else."

Lyra's lips quirked up into a smile for a moment, "yes, yes, it is."


Honestly though, The Louds were infamous for all sorts of things- and both Camilla and Joan were familiar enough with at least some of the antics they'd gotten up to for the shock of their 'greeting' to pass relatively quickly. Lyra set them up in a mostly quiet space in the living room, warding off the assorted cousins who made their residence at the house for some reason or another with a sharp glare and a sharper tongue- so the trio were able to get to work before long.

Much to Camilla's surprise, despite the atmosphere and the unrelenting vibrations of some noise or the other- Lyra's firm direction and Joan's studious discipline worked together to keep her on track. By the halfway mark, they'd even finish up math and were on to modern history;

"So, the collection western reaction to the Second Great Recession resulted in a period of-"

Splhss!

"Lacy!" Lyra snapped, and Camilla looked down to see a chagrined pale-haired girl wearing a 'Number 2' jersey lying in a heap next to their coffee table, evidently having tripped as she'd tried to run past it.

"Sorry Lyra," the girl mumbled, blushing in embarrassment as she looked up.

Oddly enough, the girl had an empty cup in her hands-

And Camilla's shirt was suddenly wet and warm.

Her eyes widened as she realised the sensation, and she jumped up draw out her arm- sure enough, the brilliant white and very expensive school shirt had a fresh discolouration seeping into the upper arm and shoulder. "Shit!"

Lyra's turned to admonish her, but cursed herself when she saw the damage- jerking her arm up at the stairs. "Quick, the upstairs bathroom- the younger girls could see you down here!"

Camilla didn't think- she rushed towards the stairs before Lyra's cousin began her apology, and only vaguely received the end of it as she landed on the second level. Thankfully she was already aware of which doors lead to the bathrooms (because the ill-considered choice of having only one bathroom for at least a dozen children at any time was rectified by new additions to the house years ago), and by some miracle the oldest bathroom was open, so again Camilla darted forward- into the room, slammed the door closed behind her and stripped the shirt off as quickly as she could without damaging the thing.

She slammed the old, obviously replaced faucet open, and dunked shirt in the cold water. Her fingers began scrubbing as quickly as she could, desperate to stop the stain from setting in.

Fortunately, the thing wasn't hot so at least she'd avoided a burn-

"Cammy!" Lyra's voice drew Camilla's attention, and she briefly turned to see Lyra quickly open the bathroom door, and push it closed with her behind. The musician bore a bottle of white vinegar in one hand and a box of laundry powder in the other.

"Lyra- you're a lifesaver!" Cammy felt a grin split her face, she'd have hugged the other girl if she wasn't already scrubbing away.

"Well, I try my best." A light blushed covered Lyra's cheeks she set the box down so she could unscrew the vinegar and pour a little into the basin, before setting the bottle aside to do the same with the box. "But really; I am so sorry about my cousin- she knows better than to just run around with drinks like that. "

Camilla nodded along as she continued to scrub her shirt against itself, ignoring the rapidly growing irritation in her hands' skin.

But try as she might, a sinking feeling grew in her stomach as she realised that she was getting diminishing returns. Sure, she'd gotten the worst of it off, but there was a slight discolouration that remained, a faded thing in the middle but just dark enough at the edges for someone to notice.

Her Mom was going to kill her. Or just have to work extra hours at her job to cover the replacement.

Camilla would've preferred the former.

But Lyra's eyes were still on her, so she looked up with the best smile she could manage.

"It's fine, a little stain isn't going to kill me."

Lyra's eyes flickered down to the patch of discoloured shirt and she frowned again. "The school won't let you wear that."

"I... maybe I can just wear the jacket over it?" Camilla offered up, but intensified her scrubbing. "Look-"

"I'll cover the replacement." Lyra interjected, her expression firming up.

"What- no!" Camilla immediately rejected the notion, "you're still saving up for the trip with your moms, right?"

"It can wait," Lyra calmly insisted. "I was the one in charge, it's my responsibility."

Camilla opened her mouth, but closed it again. She knew that expression, likely everyone who'd met her when she'd made her up mind did. While she was a stubborn, and sometimes judgmental girl, when Lyra Loud thought she'd done something wrong she'd do almost anything to either fix it, or make up for it and there was next to nothing that could done to convince her otherwise.

Even her rich parents who pointed out there was no strict need to pay her own way.

"I… I'll try and get this out, we'll talk later, okay?" Camilla sighed, resolving to try her best to get the stain out once more. "Why don't you go and finish up with Joan?"

Lyra eyed the stain once more with dislike, but acquiesced with a nod. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Will do." Camilla drew up another smile.

She dropped it with Lyra's absence.


Half an hour later and her shirt was still stuffed. Whatever 'Laces' (or Lynn III, she never could tell those two apart) had been drinking, it'd gotten it good. There'd be no way she could take this to school, not with their stringent standards.

And her Mom would never let her go with stained clothes anyway.

Oh well, at least she had a second one at home, even if she'd have to take Lyra up on her offer to avoid letting Mom know what had happened.

Not that it really helped right now though.

Camilla dropped the ruined shirt into the sudsy, acrid water with a huff and caught sight of herself in the mirror. Normally she'd take a moment to admire herself- because was cute and she knew it- but right now she was the picture of disappointment.

Her normally dusky skin looked unhealthy and unnaturally pale with the light that bounced off the bathroom walls. Her eyes had a worried tension around them with slight bags underneath while her lower lip had some marks where she'd subconsciously mauled it in her frantic scrubbing.

Oh, and she was topless of course. Her bra was a cheap beige thing that clashed with her skin tone, and was slightly tatty in places with straps that uncomfortably pressed into her skin from where she'd outgrown it.

Her 'girls' certainly had too, but while it wasn't a great fit anymore, new bras weren't cheap either so she'd resolved to wear it out- or just however long it took before 'uncomfortable' became 'painful'.

Either way though, there was no way she could just step out and wait for her shirt to dry, there a lot of strange people in Lyra's house and probably more than who'd loved to get a look at a teenage girl in a bra. She'd have to get her shirt in the Loud's dryer…

The dryer that was in the basement.

Camilla bit down on her lip again as she contemplated her options;

A: Bite the bullet and wear the wet thing after she'd squeezed the worst out- but the thing would still be partially see through for a while and with her skin, her bra would be nearly as obvious as a black bra on a paler girl.

B: Steal one of Lyra's shirts. The problem with that was that Lyra wasn't as 'developed' as her in the chest area, she might be able to squish the girls down if she had to but it would be a close fit and if Lyra's family even had them (seriously, all girls from everything she could see) any of Lyra's more sapphic cousins would still probably love the look.

Or finally;

C: Just yell or call for Lyra to dry it, and stay up until she brought it back- the problem with that…

Camilla paused to listen for a moment. Sure enough, the background noise raged on. Even if she shouted at the top of her lungs, there was no way Lyra would hear her from upstairs. She pulled her phone from her skirt pocket, but was surprised as it took a moment to switch on-

Oh. Right.

Lyra and Joan always insisted turning them off at study, since Camilla always ended up playing with hers if they didn't.

"Shoot!" Cammy paced for a bit. "Can't call Lyra on the phone, can't go out to call Lyra… maybe if I yell out the door?"

She crept over and unlocked it, and slooowlllyy drew it open just a crack

"HEYWHERESTHEJELLY-I'MNOTIN-DON'TFORGETTHE-"

She instantly shut it.

No. No, that was not an option. Not even her strongest yell would pierce that racket.

She bit her lip as she thought again…

"Okay… so Lyra's not an option.

Or at least, talking to Lyra's not.

But I still need to wear something and she'd probably be fine with it, so maybe if I just went to her room?" She opened the door again ever so slightly and winced at the wall of decibels- but to her surprise, the hallway seemed to be clear- for now.

And from what she remembered; Lyra's room was just next to the bathroom so…

Camilla swallowed, tensed- and darted out with the agility she could manage.

Feeling like a thousand eyes were watching her, she crossed her arms over her chest to cover it as best could- and skidded to a halt in front of Lyra's room. She dropped one of her arms to lunge at the doorknob and twist it-

Only to find it locked and immobile.

"What!?" Camilla gasped horror, and cringed down to hide her girls as she twisted the knob with both hands in desperation. "Come on, come on-"

Only to find herself stumbling as the door was suddenly wrenched open.

"Hey!" A girl with short blonde hair glared up at her, "what the big idea-"

"I-" Camilla drew up her arms in an 'X' again as her cheeks darkened, "I'm sorry, I just need to get to Lyra's room-"

"Yeah, this's it." The girl folded her own arms, and frowned, then a spark of understanding came across her face. "Wait- aren't you Cammy?"

"Yeah, yeah that's me!" Camilla sighed in relief, "look, I just need to get a shirt while my old one's drying-"

"Sure, sure whatever," the blonde nodded. "You and Lyra look about the same… height, " Camilla flushed again as the other girl's eyes flickered to her breasts. "So, I'll go get one out'a the closet, but you've gotta go change in the bathroom or something-"

Camilla definitely didn't want to have to wait outside for a second longer than she had to, "but-"

"This is my room as well, no one else gets in without permission from both." The Blond insisted. "Just stay there for a sec' okay?"

The door slammed shut before Camilla could utter a word in response. Helpless for now, Camilla stood as close to the door as she could, cradling her chest against any onlookers.

Her torment lasted a full twenty eight seconds, though again by some miracle the hallway remained empty while the family conducted their business in their rooms and downstairs. Finally, though, the blond cracked Lyra's door open, and held one of Lyra's purple short-sleeved shirts out. "Will this do-"

"YesyesthanksGOTTAGO!" Camilla snatched the shirt from the outstretched hand, and rushed to the bathroom once more, barely catching the slightly sour "you're welcome" in the background before she slammed the bathroom door shut once more.

She sighed with relief as she drew up the new shirt again. It was a little too small in the front for her, but the rest was fine and with her bra on it wasn't like her nips would be poking through so… "yeah, you'll do."

Not wanting to accidentally get her new shirt wet, she first popped it on the towel rack before draining and emptying out the sink. It took her a moment to squeeze out her old shirt- which she normally wouldn't have dared to be so rough with, but considering it was probably going to be relegated to casual and art duty from now on it probably didn't matter.

"Urgh…" She sighed once more as she held out the shirt. Sure enough, the faded stain remained plain to see even while the thing was slightly damp.

Crrrkk!

Camilla's heart pounded as she saw the bathroom door creaking inwards in the reflection, that same reflection still showing a very obviously topless Camilla Ramirez. Unthinkingly, she darted around for an escape- and jumped into the shower, jerking the curtain closed before she raised her voice to yell at the intruder to leave.

Only to find her voice dying in her throat as the object of her affections marched in. Feeling old butteries quickly stirring and her nerve vanishing, she ducked behind the curtain.

Lincoln Loud, Uncle to one of her best friends and father to half a dozen children she knew of stood before the mirror she'd made use of seconds ago, taking a moment to examine his features. The strong jaw, high cheeks and blue eyes that so paired with his slight overbite to give him a handsome, but slightly disarming charm…

And then he yawned, lightly rubbing at his face to wake himself up.

"Ah…. come on Lincoln, you can do this!" He assured the orange-clad reflection. The man looked much as Camilla had always known him, the Louds being the sort to pick some kind of trademark colour and set of outfits to seemingly mark their identity among the multitude of their members. In Mr Loud's case, that was a set of white sneakers, blue jeans, a long sleeved white shirt and a short sleeved orange polo over that. "Just focus on getting through today like always…"

His left arm bore a folded suit, which he turned to deposit onto the towel rack. "Lyra forgot her shirt?"

Camilla immediately held her breath.

There was tense moment while Mr Loud pondered the shirt's placement.

"Probably going to change after her friends go." He finally decided and Camilla relaxed. "Speaking of which…"

There was a shuffle of movement, and two light 'thunks';

"You need to get on that yourself Lincoln!"

Camilla's mouth dried out, and she shakily crouched down in the bathtub.

He's not really going to change in here, is he?

There was a sound of fabric falling.

Oh God he is… she chewed her lip again. W-what if he wants a shower or something!? I'm screwed- unless…

If Mr Loud came into the shower, he'd find her hiding immediately- and then she'd end up having to answer some very awkward questions.

And probably get banned from Lyra's house.

But maybe, just maybe she could… sneak?

Yeah, I can sneak! She thought to herself. If I time things right, I can skip out the side just when Mr Loud gets in, he'll never notice me!

If she pretended hard enough, she could believe it!

But the alternative was getting caught for certain, so a half-baked plan was better than none. But she still had to know when Mr Loud was coming so she raised her trembling hand forwards to where the shower curtain's bottom touched the bath rim. Carefully, the drew her fingertips under the fabric and pushed it up just enough for her eyes to peek out and-

Catch a glimpse of Lincoln Loud's full form.

His jeans were still on for now, but he was already drawing himself up from having pulled off both of his shirts as once piece, and she could see his discarded sneakers lying nearby. But the dropped clothes weren't what caught the girl's attention.

No, it was Mr Loud's body that did that.

A long time ago, Lincoln Loud had been a weedy boy bullied by everyone bigger or just stronger than he- and he'd had to make do with pure wit and (frankly atrocious) luck alone. But as established, that was a long time ago.

In the years since, Lincoln Loud had gone through puberty, spent decades battling with his sisters (and other things) and just had to be fit enough to exercise control over the multitude of children who inhabited his home. Needless to say, he'd had quite the workout.

And the results of that decades-long workout were something Camilla Ramirez could very much appreciate.

His arms were solid, and heavy with muscle that rendered his wrists destractingly thick, only to lead into dense forearms and large upper arms. While not bulging and nigh swelling out of his skin like a bodybuilder's, his shoulders were decisively round and well-balanced on his frame. His chest was a well-defined mass of muscle lightly covered in white hair that became sparser as it led to his firm stomach.

A stomach whose pale skin revealed a four-pack of abdominal muscles as the man's body twisted and turned.

He wasn't a bodybuilder by any means, with a frame and mass that easily fit into an average man's clothing. But it was clear that Lincoln Loud took care of himself. Or at least, had been forced to.

"Ahh…" the man twisted back and forth for a moment. "Need to start sleeping in a better position…"

And like that, he reached for his belt buckle.

Camilla's eyes widened as it came undone without further ado, and she realised that she was about to witness her friend's uncles's full nude form.

Stop it! One part of her mind warned. All he has to do is look at us and we're done for!

We have to look! Another section insisted. And we'll miss the show!

There was another rustling of cloth and clinking of metal as Mr Loud's jeans fell to the floor.

Leaving him clad in nothing but red boxers. Boxers with a stretched front and a distinct bulge.

Some thread of sanity finally snapped within her and Camilla quietly pulled out her phone to pull up her camera, setting it to record.

His lower stomach was as firm as the upper, but formed into a sort of 'v' to meet his groin. His legs were as dense as his arms, with well-shaped calves and strong thighs. But Camilla's camera wasn't on his legs.

It remained firmly focussed on his groin.

And as his fingers grasped the waistband, she found her juvenile lusts rewarded. The red boxers drew down to reveal a patch of trimmed white-blond hair- well that answers if he's natural or not- and then…

The fabric descended like a falling veil to reveal the pale and in infamous 'Log'.

It was soft of course, but it still possessed a thick vein running along the base to the tip. It was long, and thick enough that Camilla estimated it was around twelve inches and easily thicker than her wrist (an exaggeration from an inexperienced teenage girl of course, it was a 'mere' six-to-seven inches soft). The head was bulbous and uncut, with a little bit of pink glans peeking out from the foreskin like it was shyly bidding her hello.

Hi, wanna be friends? Her imagination provided the penis with a friendly, boyish voice.

Yeah, yeah I do…

I can even introduce you to my best friends Kitty and Clitty!

In Camilla's defence, her brain was now well past having metaphorically melted into hormonal goo.

But no amount of fascination with his penis would stop Camilla from seeing the reveal of Lincoln Louds infamously fertile testicles. The 'orbs' were tightly held to his body, but were as impressively sized as one would expect from a man who'd sired a half-dozen children (at least). The 'plums' formed a lopsided pair behind the 'trunk' of his penis, lightly haired and almost comedically oversized if not for the thickness of his framing thighs and the absurd dimensions of said schlong.

A little coolness distracted Camilla as it dripped onto the exposed part of her chest, and she drew out of her entrancement long enough to realise she was drooling out of her half-gaping mouth.

"Ahhh… nothing like a nice shower after-"

Camilla's heart stopped as Mr Loud approached the shower and she realised that whatever fast movements that might have saved her were well beyond her now cramped and weak legs.

"Ring ring! Ring ring! Phonecall! Phonecall!" A sudden ringtone echoed through the bathroom, and Mr Loud's handsome if slightly dorky features twisted up in annoyance as he turned around. Camilla repressed a sigh of relief, and then a groan of appreciation as she was treated to seeing the plush and bountiful, firmly shaped muscles of his behind in action.

Mr Loud crouched down and fished out his phone from his jeans. Camilla chewed on her lip as she pondered again just how she'd escape, even with her respite.

Could she maybe feign having gotten ready for a quick shower or something?

No, it'd been way too long since Mr Loud had come in and she hadn't even run the water-

"- It's about four fifty." She overheard his conversation, and a tinny female voice on the other side of the call. "Yeah, I know I'm running late, but something came up with the kids- yeah it was the gun... … no, I think Liena will be fine once her system works through it. I've got Lupa on dinner as punishment and Lyra's getting Lupa's pocket money so she can get everyone pizza when she fails-"

There was a brief concerned chatter.

"Ah…" Mr Loud pulled his phone away to look at the time. "I guess it's a bit late… yeah, I can just shower when I get home anyway, it's not like I went running with Lynn or something."

Another brief spurt of noise.

"Sure, see you in a few minutes." And like that Mr Loud clicked off the call, and walked over to the towel rack to start pulling on his suit.

Camilla repressed another sigh of relief as her 'execution' was commuted.

She remained there, couched in the Loud House's bathtub while Mr Loud sadly deprived her eyes of his body.

Saved, but sticky enough to need a shower of her own.


Needless to say, it was awkward getting downstairs. Leaving aside the all-too-tight shirt and unpleasantly damp underwear, she faced a slightly annoyed Joan- and while Lyra was all too understanding of why she had to borrow one of her shirts…

Camilla couldn't look her in the eye knowing what was on her phone.

Not that it stopped her from doing filthy things to herself with it that night.

Sure, Camilla already had porn (who didn't?) but it was a lot different when it someone she knew. Someone she already wanted, and now? Now she didn't have to use her imagination.

Heck, her imagination didn't have this kind of detail.

But her dreams sure did.

And while those dreams caused the teen all manner of joy and anguish (mostly the latter from trying to hide exactly what she was doing in the small motel bathroom she shared with her Mom, and washing out her ruined underwear ASAP), there was one rather unfortunate consequence.

There was no way she could ever look Mr Loud in the eye again.

And that was a problem, because right now: Lyra needed to be at home in case her cousins tried anything. Apparently, whatever 'thing' Mr Loud and his sisters needed to do had taken more than a night, and he was behind his webcomic schedule- so of course Lyra had offered to 'take some shifts' as The Boss so he could focus on that.

"It's his own fault for poor scheduling," Joan had said. "You shouldn't have to give up your time for his mistakes!"

"If it's not me, it'll be Liena, or Loan," Lyra had calmly countered. "And they can't handle the others the way I can, it has to be me."

Personally; Camilla was pretty sure Lyra just didn't want one of her weird Aunts to come down and let the other kids do even more crazy stuff than they already got away with. She would also never say it, but Lyra took waaay too much pleasure in telling other people what to do, and what they couldn't do- if she could get away with it, she'd probably be ordering Mr Loud around.

Either way though, they all ended up having to go to the Louds' for the next week after school to get their homework done together like usual.

And that meant that Camilla had to avoid getting distracted around Mr Loud.

This was easier said than done:

Who else would've happened to greet them on the first day?

"Hey girls!" His sparkling blue eyes crinkled up at the corners as he welcomed them in, "Liena and I made stuffed potatoes- want some?"

He was wearing a full apron and had found an oversized chef hat somewhere to crown his head. Somehow, he was still more endearing than lame.

"Ah-uh-y-yu-" Camilla tried her Best To English. Alas, pictures of the body that the apron was tied around flashed through her mind to superimpose themselves over his now clothed form, ingrained there by many hours of 'image training'.

"I'm sure we'd enjoy them after homework Mr Loud," Joan politely, but firmly digressed. "But for now…"

"Oh, right, right…"

Then second day at least, it wasn't strictly Mr Loud who was the problem.

Heck, he wasn't actually in the house that day, so Camilla got through the study session easily enough- much to Joan's delight. But Camilla had her own 'reasons' to go sneaking around, and she followed a second colony of noise to the old garage to find…

"Ladies, Gentlemen and all those in between!" Lincoln Loud stood in the back of the garage, dressed in a well-fitting magician's suit. It was a long-coated thing, complete with a tall tophat, which Mr Loud pulled off with a flourish and smile. "I present to you- a rabbit from a hat!"

Needless to say, it was quite dashing, especially with that confident smile across his face. Camilla felt a smile of her tug at her lips, and she quietly settled into the back of the crowd.

The audience, consisting of a half-dozen younger children (probably collected from the younger Louds' friend groups) cheered as he grasped the hat the brim and presented the clearly empty interior of to the audience. Still smiling, he suddenly flipped it upside down, and reached inside with one hand, "ahh, now let's see…"

And exactly as one would expect, he drew up a 'new' rabbit from the tophat. It was the typical solid white, and was just large enough to sit in his flat palm without a problem.

"Yaaaayy!" The excitable younger kids cheered, and Camilla let herself smile again, more endeared by the sheer enthusiasm than impressed by the standard trick.

"Ah, thank you, thank you!" Lincoln dramatically bowed, sweeping his hat under his arm with the motion, though his left hand remained steady lest his bunny be blunted by a less than bouncy floor. But suddenly he looked up a cheeky grin, "but wait! I think I've forgotten something…"

He suddenly stepped forwards, and Camilla found Mr Loud kneeling down next to her, presenting the rabbit with one hand and a twinkle in his eye. "Miss Ramirez, could you take of our little friend here?"

There was a brief outcry of envy from the kids in the crowd, but Camilla shakily nodded, not trusting her tongue to function properly. Nonetheless, Mr Loud gently pushed the rabbit into her cupped hands, where the surprisingly placid herbivore seemed content to stay put.

"Now now…" Mr Loud admonished as she stood up again, and performed a 'magical motion' with his hand over the upturned tophat once more. "Such a fine and mature bunch as yourself must surely know that thing my old brain left out 'till now… " he gently lowered his hand once more, and in a repeat of his first 'manifestation' there was another blinking bunny atop his white-gloved palm; "where's there's one rabbit- there's always at least three more!"

The crowd cheered again, and Lincoln went about handing out rabbits to the gentler children until his quota was met and he returned to his stage again. Now, Camilla was intrigued. Sure, she'd wanted to see the show just to see Mr Loud in person again, but his hat's bottom was very clearly too small to have held so many rabbits of even the small size in her hands.

But that mystery would have to wait, as Mr Loud cleared his throat, and looked at an imaginary watch. "Well, well, would you look at the time- I think we should get onto the main show, don't you?"

He cupped his hand to his ear, and the kids cheered out in affirmation. His smile grew bigger, "well then, let's bring her in!"

He donned his hat once more- and twirled his wand like a baton; "a Alaka-zi! An Alaka-ti! And what do you know?

An Alaka-be!"

He suddenly pointed his wand at a very clearly empty patch on the 'stage'. Instantly a burst of purple and pink smoke blew upwards-

And cleared to reveal a brand-new magician.

Or at least, that's what Camilla assume she was- in her opinion, the new girl's outfit could've fit in some other places.

She had her dark brown hair in a ponytail, and resembled Ms Luan in her face and prominent front teeth. Her body was another matter though, sporting a pair of breasts to put almost any grown woman to shame (and Camilla quite easily), along with enough cleavage exposed from her white blouse's cut for said envious adult to know the girl was most definitely showing off.

She had a yellow corset underneath, which further accentuated her massive mammaries, but beneath that was nothing but a black bottom for her pelvis that could've been from a swimsuit for how skimpy it was- and her shapely legs were clad in nothing but in thigh-high black stockings and- oddly enough for the rest of the costume- a pair of calf-high boots.

Finally, the entire thing was topped off by a smaller tophat somehow jauntily resting at an angle to allow her ponytail to neatly protrude and a long cloak that swept from her shoulders and formed a flaring collar around her neck.

There was a round of applause at the trick, and from the blushing in some corners of the crowd Camilla was pretty sure some young spark had just discovered puberty.

"Thank you, thank you! It's a pleasure to be here" The New Magician took off her hat to do a sweeping bow, before righting herself and turning to Mr Loud with a smile. The older magician graciously tipped his head and offered up the wand with two open hands for her to take, which she did with a flourish that caused a few sparks to fly out the end. "And a special thanks to my handsome assistant!"

There was another puff of purple-pink smoke from nowhere, and Mr Loud was suddenly in a long, wooden box looking 'terrified'. "Ooops! I think Lois the Magnificent made a bit of a muckup!"

"Oh really?" Lois turned to the crowd with glee, and somehow pulled out a handsaw from her skimpy outfit. "You know, I think Mr Loud was stealing the show, wasn't he?"

"Yeah!" Some treacherous voices declared with glee.

"Just look at all those bribery bunnies!" Lois 'tutted' and shook her head, "how disgraceful." She raised the handsaw with terrifying glee, "I say we cut him down to size, what say you!?"

"YEAH!"

"Oh no!" Mr Loud gasped in 'horror'.

The show had gone on a bit longer from there, but Mr Loud had needed to get back to his webcomic soon anyway- along with collecting his bunnies back. Camilla meanwhile found herself beset by an ugly jealously as looked over to the confident, well-developed woman who he'd evidently mentored in her craft.

And on the third day…

It was an immediate thing, she followed Lyra into the house, and found Mr Loud hugging a decidedly resistant Lupa from behind.

"Lemme go old fart!" The white-blond girl wriggled in his grip, but try as she might there was nothing she could do to escape his grip. "I'll get you in your sleep you geriatric- ARGHH!"

"Aww, I love you too sweetie!" The man snickered, and hugged her still tighter, only releasing her just enough to adjust his hold in the brief moments she almost found her way free.

Lyra took in the scene in the dining room, then just shook her head, and motioned for the rest of the trio to follow.

Joan, as ever just wanting whatever Loud nonsense that might come to end as soon as possible, obliged without a word. But Camilla was curious as she ever was about anything to do with Mr Loud, and snuck back a glance just in time to see Mr Loud's left hand start to slip something into Lupa's skirt pocket-

And draw back a moment later with a small box of cigarettes and a lighter.

Lupa's sour expression remained unchanged, evidently not noticing his surreptitious movement- but Mr Loud's eyes met hers for a moment.

And he winked.

Camilla had of course gone straight to study, and been thoroughly useless all day. Though she managed to at least get a rare spiteful snicker out of Lyra when she got to explain why Lupa had suddenly raged about finding breath mints in the place of her cancer-sticks.

But all of it, the charm, the 'competition' from Lois' effortlessly endowed form and the endearing roguishness- it all culminated in a lot of distraction for the poor girl.

Camilla hadn't exactly been entirely passive during her trips to the Loud House either. She'd used as many toilet breaks, 'quick snacks' and whatever other excuse she could fudge up to escape Lyra and Joan's scrutiny without tipping her hand.

So what if she was trying to spy on Mr Loud!? She wasn't going for new schlik bait (she already had that anyway), she was just trying to get to know him better for… reasons.

But her trips had to be short, and the few details she'd gotten of him had always been innocuous things that didn't really need documenting- like everything about how he made eggs except for his secret 'funny side up' trick (he was extra careful about concealing that). Or exactly how he could fit so much stuff into his pockets, and she wasn't just talking about his trouser snake. She counted seven different times where he'd explicitly pulled out something that couldn't have conceivably fit into his tight jean pockets.

Of course, these little trips were joining with her conflicted headspace about everything that had happened across the past week and making it hard to concentrate- so she'd probably have to get back to Lyra and Joan before-

"… s'okay."

Camilla paused in the upper hallway, her latest 'bathroom break' having come to an end only a few moments before. Her ears pricked up as a lull in the background noise let her pick something up.

"… Okay to be sad sometimes…"

It was Mr Loud's voice, and it sounded… heavy.

Something warned her that this wasn't something she should involve herself in, but a deeper curiosity, a need to know took root and she approached Mr Loud's door. It was open, just crack like someone had hastily pushed it closed too fast and it had bounced off the doorframe a little.

There was a little wet sound.

She glanced around and like that fateful day, the hallway was empty.

Camilla swallowed as her mouth went dry, and she carefully pressed herself to the side of the wall where the door would open from, and peeked through the thin space between the door and frame.

There, in muted light from closed curtains was the form of Lincoln Loud and he was holding someone close to his chest…

Someone with a black dress and little red ribbons that she'd sworn she'd seen before… on some almost unbearably chipper girl by the name of-

"Wait… Gloom?" Camilla's eyes widened. "But-"

"Hey." A hand suddenly grabbed her wrist, and Camilla froze.

She'd been caught.

With a deep dread forming in her stomach, she turned her head to find the source of the quiet voice-

And found herself looking into the unreadable yellow eyes of one Lupa Loud.

"I..." Camilla raced for a defence for herself- it isn't what it looks like- but it was. I was just trying to find the… only room in the house she'd never have a reason to go into?

"Quiet." Lupa's voice wasn't harsh, or really Loud compared to the background din. "You'll interrupt them."

Camilla closed her mouth and nodded.

"Meet me under the old bridge in the park." Lupa let released her wrist. "Five o'clock. Don't be late Miss Stalker."


"You wanna fuck my uncle."

Lupa Loud was nothing if not unrelentingly direct. The white-blonde girl sat under the bridge with an unlit cigarette between her lips. Camilla had had to lie to Mom about why she was going out, but for some reason Mom hadn't seemed to mind too much, just warning her to get home by eight.

Of course, she had bigger problems than a curfew at the moment.

"Um…" a trickle of sweat ran down Camilla's neck. "Why would you-"

"Don't." Lupa flicked her lighter on, and then off again.

"…" Camilla swallowed, feeling like a bug before the smaller girl.

A few seconds passed, and Lupa finally snapped her metal light closed.

"It's fine."

Camilla blinked, "w-wait, what?"

"What, you have something wrong with your ears?" Her eyes flashed with annoyance. "I said it's fine. It's not like you're the first woman he's had after him you know.

You're not even the first girl who went all stalker and shit on him."

Camilla flushed again, but she didn't deny it- clearly, she'd been a lot less careful than she'd thought.

But so far, things weren't as bad as she was expecting. Lupa even seemed to be giving her information she didn't have before…

And she'd be lying if she wasn't curious about what she had to say;

"W-who else?"

The other girl snorted, " 'who else?' Ah… do you know how many kids he has?"

Camilla tried to bring up her memory, but she didn't really keep track of which of Lyra's cousins came from which parent. "I don't know, about six I guess."

Lupa stared at her, and her cold eyes seemed to gain a jovial twinkle to them. "Six?"

"I dunno," Camilla fidgeted a bit in exasperation, "there's a lot of you guys living in that house- it's not like Lyra gave me a list of who's his or anything."

Lupa's lips trembled, and she took the cigarette from her mouth as it threatened to fall. "Ooohhh, oh you're… you're in for a ride stalker girl."

A series of light snorts and downright girlish giggles erupted from the smaller girl. She flipped out her cigarette box and shoved in her unlit stick while Camilla flushed again.

"I don't get why you think this funny-"

"You don't get shit." Lupa's voice was suddenly calm again, like a switch had been turned from cackling to stoic in her head. "That's why it's funny."

"What, so you called me here to just laugh at me?"

"No, I can do that anywhere." Lupa rolled her eyes. "I called you here 'cause you're getting creepy with all the creeping. A piece of advice, you want the old man? You go for the old man and it'll be settled either way- but don't." Her voice suddenly became very serious. "Don't intrude when someone else's with him for one-on-one time. It's basically the first rule in our house."

Silence fell as Camilla's mind whirred, "y-you're fine with me-"

"Date him, fuck him behind a dumpster- do what you want but maybe don't forget the pill and extra thick condoms or there's gonna be even more Louds." Lupa shrugged. "Otherwise, that's your and his business."

"But the thing with Gloom-"

"Never. Happened." A scowl appeared on her face. "That's theirs, not mine.

Not.

Yours.

There's not much stuff in our house that's really someone's, but you don't cross that line when it's there, you get it?"

"Okay!" Camilla insisted, "okay…"

The Louds were freaking weird.

But then again… she'd basically got a 'blessing' (or at least lack of opposition) to her maybe one day having a relationship with Mr Loud from one of his family.

And sure, her fantasies always involved something like it, but never in her heart of hearts had she really believed it was possible, "so… I can just-"

"What, go up to him, flash your tits and get stuffed like a turkey?" Lupa snorted again. "Go ahead, it'd be funny watching Lyra's head explode."

"But-"

"I'm just letting you know the rules, Stalker." Lupa leant back against the wall of the bridge. "And that I don't really care if you go after 'Mr Loud'." She let out another little laugh. "But I can't sign him over like I've got a controlling stake Lincoln Loud inc or something."

"Oh, right." Camilla resisted the urge to facepalm. "But, then could you tell me… tell who else might be 'involved'?"

The image of Lois and her unbearable confidence flashed through her mind.

"Hmm, scoping out the competition?" Lupa mused. "Fine by me I guess;

Well, there used be a few… but lucky you, most of them dropped out already."

"Dropped out?"

Lupa nodded. "Yeah, the thing with the old man is; a life with him is a life with us. And trust me, a life with us is a tall order.

But whatever, he's got some weird catnip on him that gets girls like you leaking for him, so there's still a few poking around every now and then to see if he's wised up about wasting his life on us or something-"

Camilla winced at the venom in Lupa's words. "Do they-"

"Nah they don't say it." Lupa laughed, but looked at her with those strange eyes. "But hey, what else are they gonna think?"

Camilla opened her mouth try and say something to counter the horrible idea, but Lupa pushed on anyway; "yeah, so anyway; I noticed you were kinda seething at Lois; relax. She's a psycho like her mom, but she's not psycho enough to try doing it with her uncle-"

"Uncle- "suddenly the resemblance to Luan 'April Fool' Loud clicked in her head. "Ohhh…."

"I thought Lyra said you were smart?" Lupa shook her head. "Anyway, she flirts a lot 'cause she a freaking weirdo even by our standards, but so far, she's never done anything. And trust me; if she wanted it- she'd be going for it." Lupa shuddered. "Anyone else you're worried about?"

"Uhh… any of the moms?" Camilla couldn't recall exactly how many children Mr Loud had but there she knew were a lot.

"Unnn," Lupa mused for a moment. "Sort of, I guess? A few of 'em used to be fuck-buddies or something, but I think they've all broken things off now, at least sex wise… so yeah. I think he's free unless he's got some other girl with ultra-daddy issues hiding in the bathroom or something-"

All the relief Camilla had drained away, but not worry- the cold was warded off but the fierce glow of embarrassment surging through her; "how?"

"Our vents are pretty big, they're the best place for privacy if you can deal with webs and dust." Lupa shrugged, then a what could be best described as cheeky grin crossed her face. "Sometimes, I just watch to see people do dumb stuff, but man- when I saw him going for the bathroom door, I thought I was just gonna get a few laughs and pop back to dinner, then… well, you're the gift that keep on giving aren't you?" Lupa shook her head.

"So, you've been watching me from the start!?"

"More or less, someone has to keep an eye on the weirdos Lyra brings home."


Camilla had a hard time sleeping that night, but for once her tossing and turning wasn't just because of her now usual 'hobby' with her video.

Sure, she had the 'go ahead' from Lupa to pursue Mr Loud- but her words had sunk into some hard truths about her desires;

Lincoln Loud had had a lot of relationships, and apparently all of them had failed. Even- maybe especially the ones who'd been solidified by children.

"A life with him is a life with us. And trust me, a life with us is a tall order."

Even visiting the Loud House was An Event. The background always had some weird thing going on, be it the tamer things like the magic show with Miss Sex on Legs, or the downright dangerous stuff like Lupa running around with some kind of gun only to be 'stopped' by whatever Lyra did.

And that was just in the past few days. The stuff with Ms Lisa and Luan was the stuff of dreams, or nightmares on a bad day.

She knew she wanted Mr Loud (as her naughty parts and ruined undies could attest), and sure, she'd be lying if the fact that that he was a good dad to a lot kids didn't appeal to her 'tastes'.

But there really couldn't be a life where she was his priority could there?

And what about his tastes?

He'd been with all kinds of women, right? At least, Gloom and her half-sisters all looked really different-

Camilla was just a teenage girl. Sure, when she looked in the bathroom mirror, she wasn't exactly insecure but she didn't have some kind of porn-star perfect body with balloon-tits. She was just a reasonably cute girl still growing into herself, not some experienced seductress who could make a man fall to his knees with a look. She hadn't even had sex before, and maybe that could be a plus if Mr Loud was into the 'pure schoolgirl' angle- but if he wasn't she'd probably be the suckiest (and not the good way) 'partner' he'd had since he was a teenager.

She was just a kid, and he'd known her through Lyra since before she'd even had boobs. He might not even think of her as a potential girlfriend. Yeah, she was growing up fast, but she also knew that some of the boys in her class were objectively good looking- but they didn't 'do it' for her- who said Mr Loud was any different about girls her age?

But as she woke up next morning, groggy and even less fond of the motel room she shared with Mom than when she'd first seen it- she found inspiration of sorts on how to get an answer to at least one of her questions as she readied herself for the day.

Namely in her tatty, ill-fitting bra…

And a nailfile.


"Okay so…" Camilla tapped her stylus against her tablet screen. "Jeanne Walsh was a brilliant engineer-"

"-Mechanic." Joan calmly corrected. "She was a brilliant mechanic."

"Isn't that the same thing?" Camilla wondered.

"No, not quite," Lyra shook her head. "Just ask my Aunt Lana if you want a lecture. But only out of my earshot thanks." A haunted look came across her face; "I've heard enough."

"Okay…" Camilla corrected her notes.

The three were at the Louds' again; this time at the dinner table while the living room was occupied for some kind of video-game tournament. Apparently, someone had lost a bet over chores, and somehow the ensuing argument had spiralled into some weird gambit where half the family was now betting their chore duties on being the top four 'Shatter Superstars' while the losing two-thirds or so players would have the tedious tasks distributed among them so the winners could enjoy the next week free to lord it over their servile counterparts.

Joan thought this was a ridiculous process of dividing up responsibilities equitably. Camilla was inclined to agree, but she also thought it looked kind of fun.

Lyra just said it was 'their way' with a long-suffering tone, and that was that.

The combined clamour of the crowded Louds and the sound effects from the game suddenly ceased;

"Uh- no way!" A despairing voice cried out. "Redo! you know-"

"You can't combo for shit?" Lina- Camilla was sure that's what Lyra's sister was called now- smugly asserted. "Yeah, yeah I know-"

Lyra snapped her head towards the living room with a frown; "Lina!"

"Sorry!" Her sister's voice conceded. "Won't happen again."

"… Better not," Lyra returned to their study session with a huff.

But blatant lies and battles between siblings aside, Camilla had come with a purpose. Mr Loud was cooking in the kitchen right next to the living room, helping his niece prepare the massive quantity of food needed to pacify the pack that lived under their roof until he had to go back to his work. While Camilla wasn't planning on getting involved there, it was perfect luck that he just so happened be to in easy view of Camilla's seat- and she in his.

Well, not quite luck- that was just the tournament making a better excuse to use the dining room table.

She'd picked the table end closest to the living room for a reason. And she'd chosen to sit with her front facing the kitchen- and slightly closer to Lyra at the 'head' of the table so Joan's body wouldn't block Mr Loud's view of her for that same reason.

She'd set things up pretty well, all things considered. All that was left, was to conduct the final step and hope luck stayed on her side.

"Uh, I'll be right back girls." Camilla pushed out her seat from the table. "Nature's calling and all that."

"Okay then, we'll continue when you get back." Lyra accepted Camilla's excuse easily enough. Joan however wore a disapproving frown- though she didn't say anything as Camilla snuck away. Apparently her little 'deviations' had been noticed by more than just Lupa- though if Joan had any real idea what she'd been doing she'd probably have a lot more than just frown.

And if she'd realised what Camilla actually had in mind- she'd be screaming.


Despite her deception Camilla did end up where she implied she would. Exactly where this had all began; topless in front of the Louds' bathroom mirror. But this time she'd been sure to lock the door.

And unlike before, she was truly topless.

Her pert girls stood free on her chest, swaying with her deep breaths. Camilla's old, worn-down bra lay in her hands, one cup in each palm as she held it up before her, ready to execute her plan from that morning.

Camilla's questions about Mr Loud and her potential relationship with him were innumerable. But the first one that had to be answered, and maybe the only one if the answer wasn't what she hoped for; was if he could even be interested in a girl like her.

Fortunately, there was an easy way to get an answer to that. After all, every healthy guy has a certain 'like-o-meter' in their pants after all, so all she needed to do was… trigger it.

And it just so happened that a nice pair of tits were rumoured to do that very easily, and what do you know? Camilla happened to have an excellent pair lying around (in Camilla's admittedly subjective opinion)- which despite Miss Big Boobs the Magician's impressive volume utterly crushing the competition- weren't exactly too small compared to most other girls' either.

All she needed was an excuse to let them loose, so Lyra didn't catch on and just ban her from her house or worse. 'Fortunately,' both Lyra and Joan had been over to her house and knew about her mom and her not exactly being 'well to do' in the same way their families were.

So, if her bra just 'happened' to break because it was old and frayed, forcing her to go without?

Well, that's not exactly something they could fault her for now was it?

A nervous grin grinned Camilla's face as she crumpled both cups with her grip, and eyed the cloth binding that had held them together over her chest. The thing was barely in one piece, heavily frayed as if having steadily come apart under months of stress from a growing chest- and while some of that was the case, her nailfile this morning had done most of the damage.

The cut from a pair of scissors would have been far too obvious if Joan became suspicious after all. But the carefully alternating rubs from her file had made the irregular marks seem natural- while ensuring all it took one was one hard tug to rip the brassiere in two.


"Hey guys, what're we on to?" Camilla carefully sat in her seat, using slow and deliberate motions to minimise her jiggling.

She'd forgotten how weird stairs felt without a bra.

"Still on the quiz?"

"Of course, Cammy, we wouldn't move on without you." Lyra smiled at her, apparently not yet having noticed that Camilla had 'freed' herself as it were. "I think we should move on to maths though since..."

The review continued from there. It was weird, and not just because her school shirt felt distractingly coarse against her nips. Cammy was an active girl, and she normally 'talked with her hands' or unhesitatingly expressed herself with full body movements.

But if she did that- her tits would be 'talking' with the rest of her, and then Joan and Lyra would end her little scheme pretty darn quickly. So instead, Camilla did what she could remain involved, but still.

She was sure Joan's eyes flickered down to her girls more than once, but she was equally sure that the proper girl would've demanded an explanation if she'd noticed. So, for now… she waited.

The final stage of her plan was a simple one;

Camilla had a drink, just a bit of juice that she was steadily making her way through. When she ran out, she'd go get more from the Loud kitchen where Mr Loud was.

There she'd pour herself a new glass, but 'accidentally' spill it over herself, rendering her shirt- a thin casual one she'd been able to wear since they'd had gym at the end of school today- transparent vulnerable to Mr Loud's eyes.

His tight jeans and The Log which she'd become so familiar with would do the rest.

Fortunately or otherwise though; it seemed fate had other plans.

"Hey girls!" Mr Loud's sudden voice prompted a yip of surprise from the startled girl.

Camilla stuttered as she looked up to find Mr Loud next to the table, bearing a smile and a small tray of animal-shaped ginger cookies; "oh- oh hi M-M-Mis-ster L-"

"Camilla says hi," Joan intervened, a 'natural' smile on her face.

"Okay," if the terseness of her words affected him, Mr Loud didn't show it. He turned his attention to his niece. "Hey Lyra, do you or your friends want some snacks- they'll be gone after the rest-" he nudged his head in the direction of the ongoing tournament, "-have their fill."

"Oh, thank you Uncle." Lyra smiled, and calmly reached over to pluck a few of the ginger snacks from the tray.

While Joan politely took one, Camilla quickly reassessed her strategy.

Okay girl, forget the juice; She eyed Mr Loud's jeans, and sure enough the mighty Log's bulge firmly pressed out the front even in its flaccid state. More importantly, he was closer to Joan and Lyra than he was her, meaning that if she 'impulsively' got up and reached over the table in eagerness for a good cookie (it wasn't exactly out of character for her) her girls would probably jiggle like jelly- Mr Loud would be looking straight at her too, there'd be no way he could avoid seeing them!

Then she'd just sit down and play dumb while looking over at his jeans to see if she'd woke up his trouser snake. It was foolproof.

Sure, Lyra and Joan were absolutely gonna find out about her bra, but she had an excuse- and they might just buy it if she played it off well enough.

"… So do you want some as well Camilla?" Mr Loud was suddenly next to her.

She resisted the urge to 'eep!' in surprise, and instead looked up with a shaky smile, very aware of Lyra and Joan's eyes on her. Evidently, she'd spent too much time in thought again-

Just get up and do it girl!

"Y-yes thanks!" She blustered out, and suddenly jumped out of her chair. Mr Loud stepped back in slight surprise, but sure enough; she could feel her jugs jiggling against her shirt- and there was a half second where his very blue eyes darted down and clearly focussed on them.

Then they moved away and… a blush appeared on his cheeks?

"T-thanks Mr L-Loud." Camilla's hand snatched a few cookies from the tray, and she jerkily let herself fall down.

"Uh- okay- you're welcome." He seemed nervous, and quickly turned to leave. "Bye."

And the he did just that-

But not before Camilla's sly eye caught a distinct expansion on that bulge in his jeans.

It worked.

He wants me! She crowed within her mind, and a downright lecherous smile began before she forced her face to behave itself. He wants me! He wants me-

"What the hell was that?"

Lyra Loud did not sound pleased.

Camilla froze and turned to see the stony expression of her best friends. Or rather, the disappointed one of Joan and the very upset cold one of Lyra.

Lyra didn't yell when she was upset. Lyra yelled when she was annoyed, or peeved beyond her usual calm.

Then there was the other end where she was dangerously calm. The sort where the emotions driving her were entirely action orientated and she didn't waste energy on empty words or tone.

She needed to diffuse this as soon as possible, or she risked not just not having access to Mr Loud anymore.

"Oh y-you mean my bra-"

"You're not wearing one." Lyra's tone demanded an explanation.

Camilla swallowed, and dropped the cookies so she could pull the remains of her brassier from her skirt pocket for proof. She dropped on the table and feebly pushed it towards the girls, "I-it broke and-"

"Just now?" Lyra's eyes narrowed. "It was fine before you went to the toilet."

There was a moment of silence again, and Joan's expression softened as she looked to Lyra; "… maybe we just didn't notice-"

"I trust you, Cammy." Lyra didn't look at Joan. "We're friends."

Cammy felt her mouth dry out again. "Um, th-"

"But you're not some kid either." Lyra pushed the bra back at her. "Not really. You can make your own choices.

Just make sure you look before you leap."


The conversation was awkward after that.

Lyra just said that she'd go and get a replacement, and when she came back with one of Liena's bras she was as warm and friendly as ever. Knowing not to push her luck, Camilla quietly took and went to the bathroom to put the thing on, but when she came back Lyra pointedly avoided discussing anything about what had happened. Joan was more uncertain than usual, and shot a few dirty looks towards her- but followed Lyra's lead.

The tension remained in the air however, and the study session came to an early end.

She didn't sleep well that night, but her phone was unused.

Indeed, the whole weekend was an anxious time for her as a sick fear sank into her stomach. Camilla was popular enough; by Lyra and Joan were her friends-

This entire time she'd been acting like they were somehow protected from everything she was doing, or they'd be fine no matter what.

But Mr Loud was Lyra's uncle, and Joan- Joan made no secret about how she felt about him.

How could Camilla think that trying to date him wouldn't have fallout? That they wouldn't get hurt?

Her mother worried over her as they moved back into their house, wondering if she'd caught something in the motel and insisting, she stay in bed while she made hot soups to make her daughter feel better.

Don't worry Mom- I just made a clumsy as fuck pass after one of my best friend's Dad and now she hates me so I'm feeling a little down. Oh, and that was after I stalked him for a week and made a creepy nude video I've been jilling off to in the bathroom for the whole time we've been here.

Camilla could barely look her in the eye.

But time marched forward, and when Camilla hesitantly found her friends quietly talking to themselves at school- Lyra welcomed her like usual. Just like before, she very clearly avoided discussing Camilla's 'test', but apart from that it was like nothing that happened.

Joan was more pensive, but she followed in Lyra's footsteps, and within a few hours her words flowed as easily as they had before. Camilla hesitated as well at first, not knowing if she should apologise or pretend like them.

But time passed again, and before she knew it, she'd gone home with the two and had had another study session. This time in her newly clean living room while Joan made considerably friendlier conversation with Camilla's Mom.

There was no discussion of where they'd go, they just wordlessly went there again since the fumigation was done. They had the session, they had a bit of fun banter;

And then they left, and Camilla… felt better.

The next day was the same, and then the next one. Until it was a week since Camilla had tried to 'gauge' Mr Loud's interest in her, and still no words about what had happened passed between the trio.

Finally, it was Saturday- and Joan apparently had to practice choir so she and Lyra were alone in her room with Camilla's console. The two playing an ancient game that Lyra was slaughtering her at- because while she loved video games, trying to pry any playtime out of the systems they had at her house usually devolved into a fight or some convoluted story whose events took up the entire afternoon anyway.

She spoke after a particularly brutal three-to-one fighting game matchup, with Camilla being the loser of course;

"It's your choice."

"What, which character I get to die as?" Camilla flopped down on her bed ad covered her eyes. "Seriously- how are you this-"

"You and my uncle."

The joy immediately drained from the atmosphere.

"… Oh," Camilla mumbled, and she looked to see the back of Lyra's head. She was selecting a new character on the screen, as if they were discussing the weather.

"I used to try to get involved in his life like that, but it was too much. I thought I knew what to do, how they should act. But it was more complicated than that. Far too complicated and I just didn't have the answers.

And people do want they want to do, even if you warn them."

Lyra paused, and looked back at Camilla with heavy eyes. "I don't hate you, Cammy. And I don't want to. But if you're trying to get involved with my uncle; it's going to be harder than you can imagine- and I can't see it ending well for either of you."

Cammy swallowed again, feeling the weight of Lyra's sincerity. The musician waited to see that her words had sunk in.

The she continued;

"There's a lot about my family that's too much for most people. Having a relationship with my uncle is definitely one of them.

But if you really want to try something with him… just remember that I'm your friend, even if you're with him.

And if you get hurt…

I hope you'll still be mine."


So it was that Camilla Ramirez got her (sort of) 'Fuck My Uncle Free' card from Lyra Loud. Obviously, she didn't get up and dance, mainly because she'd never seen her friend that serious. But as the days passed, and Lyra showed no signs of rescinding her position, Camilla's interest and excitement started growing again.

Along with her use of her video.

Never again would she underestimate the beauty that was having her own room and lock again,

And her dreams… her dreams took that blush and bulge from her last meeting with Mr Loud- and expanded upon them in ways that required a lot of sheet changes...

But she didn't ask to go over to Lyra's house again, at least not yet. The musician clearly wasn't thrilled at the prospect of Camilla dating her uncle, and whatever mysterious family business that entailed. The odd thing was, Lyra clammed up whenever Camilla tried to breach the subject, only saying that:

"There's things about my family that aren't mine to give up."

Eventually though, that wasn't going to be enough. Camilla didn't think Mr Loud was some kind of monster cooking drugs up in his basement or experimenting on people (that was Lisa Loud, according to the rumours), so her hormone laden mind quickly went to rationalising away any truly vile potentials as being simply impossible because of his sweet and caring personality, the same one that so appealed to her inner Dad-deprived child with his obvious care for his and his sisters' many children.

If one wants to believe something, no number of ominous warnings could dissuade them.

And Camilla really wanted to believe.

Her opportunity to act on that belief however, that took a bit of time. She couldn't exactly just ask Lyra if she could go to her house, not without salting the wound- and Joan might just go find that chastity belt she half-jokingly swore her family had in the attic for her.

But it's said that good things come to those that wait, and while that maxim was that fine societal glue known as copium in most cases, Camilla was one of the lucky ones it proved true for.

It was a late Friday night, and the three friends had dwindled to two as Joan had been picked up by her father earlier. Lyra meanwhile had gone through a long day of tests, and a rather grueling dodgeball session that her rarely witnessed psycho side had arisen to end in a gleefully brutal flurry of balls and injuries.

Needless to say, the other team stayed down. Lyra however had been horribly embarrassed once her sanity had returned, and had been exhausted for the rest of the day, culminating in her simply dropping asleep on Camilla's couch roughly half an hour before.

Neither Camilla or her Mom bothered to try and break the infamous depth of 'The Psycho Sleep', rather the elder woman had opted to call Mr Loud to collect his niece and retired herself- leaving Camilla to greet Mr Loud before going to bed ("you're nearly an adult, if you want to make yourself useless tomorrow by staying up all night today- that's your business").

Camilla's tongue suddenly became very thick in her mouth, and she quietly started the longest wait in her short life. Sitting in front of the T.V., rocking on her butt like she was six again waiting for morning cartoons.

This was it.

She was going to see him again.

She had permission (not really).

And he liked her. She knew he liked her, heck she'd made him- the grown man with loads of kids- blush like a kid from school. That had to mean he really liked her.

It was a fine rationalisation for a girl with more hormones than wits. And rationalising is exactly what she did for that half hour. Because she'd waited, she'd wanted, and now what she really wanted;

Was to shoot her shot.

And no amount of sense, potential shame or logic would get in her way of siking herself up to looking Mr Loud in the eye, and letting him know that he was on her menu.

Ding dong.

"EEEP!"

Except actually doing it of course. In an instant, all the bravado she'd built into herself vanished, leaving Camilla nothing but a nervous teen once more. She looked back to Lyra, and saw her lying in the same position as she'd been before;

On her back, her neck supported against the armrest by a cushion Camilla's mom had propped her up with.

"Okay, okay… you can't do- you can do it!" She pulled herself up with determination, brushing off her pyjamas with one hand. "Just go out there, invite him in and… wing it from there!"

And like that, the determined girl marched over- clad in nothing but light pink flannel, and all but wrenched open the door.

"Oh, Camilla…" it was hard to tell in the dark, but Mr Loud looked like he was unsettled to see her. "I was expecting to see your mom…"

"Oh, um… she's here!" Camilla squeaked. No no stupid! Get his focus on you. "D-do you wanna come inside?

Here! Come, inside here!"

"… Okay, I was expecting to carry Lyra anyway…"

Her face was burning, but to be fair, her slipup might've worked. Mr Loud just walked within once she stepped aside, and made a bee-line to his sleeping niece.

"Ah… always so calm after the storm." He stood there, hands on his hips as he looked over his peacefully sleeping niece. "… It's a good thing I'm still fit, you're nearly a grownup now…"

It was kind of sweet.

FORGET THE SWEET! Her inner voice raged. Get his focus on us! Talk to him, yell at him- you jiggled your tits at him before maybe that'll work-

He was reaching for Lyra, once he pulled her up he'd probably want to get her in his Van and leave ASAP.

ANYTHING, DO IT NOW.

"I REALLY LIKE YOU MR LOUD!" Camilla blurted.

Mr Loud froze on the spot.

There was silence except for the T.V. and her Mom's light snores.

Oh… we'll there's no going back now. Her stomach erupted in butterflies, he's either into us or not.

Mr Loud slowly stretched up, drawing his hands to himself, away from Lyra's somnolent form. "… So that's what that was."

"… What?" She squeaked again.

His full, tall form turned, and she found herself looking properly at Lincoln Loud's face for the first time in weeks.

He was still the tall, handsome moon-haired man she'd fallen for. And he wasn't blushing anymore. Rather there was a confident turn to his features, one she hadn't seen on him before.

He wants me. Suddenly she was very aware of just how thin her clothes were. We're gonna fuck here and now in front of Lyra's body.

I should put down towels.

He approached her, slowly, calmly, until he was close enough that she had to crane her head up a bit to look him in his eyes.

She looked away.

"I thought I was imagining things with you…" she felt fingers on her chin, tilting her head up to make her look into his eyes. "But it was on purpose, wasn't it?"

"Y-yeah," she admitted. "I-I-I-"

"It's okay," his other hand went to the back of her head, and gently stroked it.

"I… um…" she swallowed, but her mouth stayed dry. "I… um…"

There was silence as her brain rebooted.

C'mon, c'mon! She demanded herself. He's here, he knows- just cement it already!

"Ahhhh…." She drew in a breath, and the scene that had preceded her most intense fantasies of this night, the night Lincoln Loud would become hers revived itself in her mind. Yeah yeah! Just do that, he's a guy- he'll follow through!

"D-do y-you…" She drew her upper arms close and under her sides, pushing up her chest in what would have been impressive cleavage if not for her having forgotten to open her closed top. "Do you wanna be my Daddy Mr Loud?"

Somehow that was a lot less cringe in my-

Mr Loud drew closer, still with a gentle smile; "well…"

"I suppose I've had practice."


Unlike her fantasies though, the kiss was just on her forehead and certainly didn't go straight into a three-hour sex scene. Instead, there was just a promise for 'more' later since he needed to get Lyra home.

Camilla's brain had been too mushy to do anything but nod as she marinated in her victory, and Mr Loud and Lyra were long gone when she'd finally rebooted.

Eh, getting her cherry popped by Mr Loud next to Lyra's unconscious body would probably be a breach of the Girl Code anyway.

Also, if her mom woke up and found her screwing a man twice her age…

Well, someone would be going to prison and Mr Loud would have worse to worry about.

Either way though, Camilla was over the moon. How couldn't she be, Mr Loud had just agreed to…

Well, something. But that something was definitely not a no, heck- it was supposed to be 'more' than a kiss, so that was…

Well, it was enough to make her a very happy Cammy that night.

She positively floated out of her bedroom come morning, buoyed by her dreams of a future involving a handsome older man that were finally in touch- even Mom's blank stare and the downright confused looks from Joan when she arrived at school didn't cut through her happy haze. It took everything she had though not to demand that they go to Lyra's house afterschool- because high on hope or not, she was ninety-nine percent sure that she shouldn't let either of the other girls know what she had in store.

At least not yet. Lyra seemed like she'd be okay after a while, but Joan would probably try and get the police involved or something.

Either way, she tempered her desires, and restrained herself to have a normal if less productive than usual study session with the girls.

And she managed to do the same thing again the next day.

And the next.

Slowly, her excitement dimmed; she was waiting for something- but maybe that something wasn't coming?

What if Mr Loud was expecting her to come to him?

What if… he'd changed his mind?

The day after that had a decidedly dour tone to it, and Joan took it upon herself to try and cheer her up- despite not knowing what had suddenly stripped away Camilla's good spirits. It made her feel a little better.

But not nearly as better as when late at night, her phone suddenly flashed up with a text from an unknown number.


"Uhh, umm-" Camilla stuttered, unable to look Mr Loud in the eye. "I-I- got your message."

Yeah, you're right in front of him dingus. Maybe point out the colour of the sky next to really wow him.

But stupid or not, Mr Loud didn't seem to mind; "I happy to see that," he did his quirky little smile, the one where his mouth stayed closed but his front teeth sort of poked outa little more from his lips. "I was worried you wouldn't come."

"I would always come for you!" Camilla blurted.

Her stomach sank into the floor and her face burned like the sun.

It was made all the worse because they were in a café, albeit in a private booth Mr Loud had gotten for them. Add in the skimpy sun dress and the Pushup Bra she'd used to make her girls' cleavage rival Lois'- and…

Uwwghhh, she internally whimpered, he's gonna think I'm a dork or a slut-

"Thanks anyway," Mr Loud's smile just twitched a little, and he raised up a cup of coco to blow on it. "I know it was short notice- I had a lot going on this week."

He's giving us an out, take it before he changes his mind!

"Oh, y-yeah I can imagine!" She tried to make her laugh natural, then her brain caught up with what he said; "I mean, not literally 'cause obviously I don't have lots of kids I have to take care of but I get busy a lot with games or other things sometimes and I just lose track of everything and Joan gets upset because I forget to do homework so we have to-"

Mr Loud's eyes seemed to twinkle a little, and she realised she was making herself look ridiculous again;

"S-sorry."

"It's okay, it's not like I don't get lost in thought sometimes myself." He drew back his lips, and his full smile drew up a bubbly warmth from inside her. "I used to get lost in all kinds of projects and operations as well, got me into a lot of trouble…" his eyes went distant for second before refocussing upon her again. "And I ended up using a up a lot of time when I shouldn't have, rushing things at the last minute… and it made problems for more than just me, y'know?"

"Yeah…" Camilla slowly nodded.

"I thought so…" Mr Loud put his coco down for a moment. "But maybe I can help a little with that? It's simple, but sometimes just having someone remind you can stop you from getting too far 'in the zone'…"


Her phone went off, and Camilla hastily looked at the message. "Shoot."

"You've been getting a lot of messages around this time," her mother looked over to her from the kitchen. "Is there something I need to know about?"

"No!" Camilla insisted with dark cheeks, quickly stuffing her phone back into her pocket.

"Someone maybe?"

"Ah… night Mom!" Camilla bolted to her room, "it's a school night after all!"

The elder woman simply chuckled to herself as she finished cleaning.

Camilla meanwhile typed out a reply to the message:

MANWTHAPLN:

It's late, are you in bed?

CamCamCanCan:

Yeah, just catching some reruns. Going to bed now.

MANWTHAPLN:

Don't stay up too late, you have a test tomorrow.


Okay, so the first date didn't quite end up like she'd expected. But she and Lincoln (he said she could call him that!) were talking to each other every day now, and she'd was getting waaay better at school and stuff now that she was sleeping at a regular bed time instead of getting lost in a game or something. Even Lyra and Joan were happy about it (probably because she'd 'neglected to mention' exactly who was inspiring her to some very nice dreams with their nightly ritual).

But while she was happy about all that, there was still a little something missing from her and her… boyfriend? (No, Mister Loud was too much of a man to be consider a boy) Partner? (No, that was like she was writing a letter).

Paramour? That sounded fancy, and kind of fit how dashing Lincoln had looked in that from That Time in the Shower, yeah- her and her paramour's relationship.

Namely a bit of 'tender love and care'.

Of the physical sort.

But to Camilla's surprise, Lincoln didn't seem that concerned about getting in her pants- even though she knew he had to want her like she did him from how he'd reacted to her boobs (also his loads of kids with different girls. You didn't get all of those from holding hands!) .

Sure, it had been one date and some chatting after that, but Camilla had been ready from the start! Or at least, she thought she'd been, she still got kind of nervous just thinking about what actually doing the deed would be like, especially since she was only just getting used to talking to Lincoln without stopping and stuttering all the time.

Her second 'date' though…

"Uhhhhh…." She gasped.

"Feeling a little better?" Lincoln's voice had a slight tease to it.

"D-don't stop!" She wheezed.

"Your wish is my command," he chuckled, and pushed down in just the right place.

Namely that one spot in her heel.

Camilla was an active girl, but that meant she used her feet a lot. And sometimes those feet got sore in odd places that she just couldn't take care of, not on her own.

Enter Lincoln Loud and his magic fingers.

"Heh, y'know my sister Lynn used to have the same problem." He drew up the line of her sole with both thumbs, stretching out the cramped muscles and forcing Camilla to bite down on her lip to avoid attracting attention. She was wearing her sundress again, but rather than go to a Café again, Lincoln had insisted on taking her on a walk around the park. Some part of Camilla found it a little weird and kind of worried they'd be seen by someone who'd tell Lyra, but on the other hand she was getting to spend time with Lincoln and to her surprise, it was kind of nice to just walk and talk for a bit.

But… walking and talking is only great for as long as you don't have to do it in High Heels. And the ill-fitting ones she'd gotten from the thrift store might've looked great, but they'd taken what had been an annoying pain from earlier and magnified it to a million-

Lincoln had noticed her limping of course, because he was a sweet and caring man, and insisted on remedying the problem as best he could- even if they had to go in some old, very clearly not well-maintained girls' bathroom to do it.

Eh, it was probably one the tamer things that's been done in here anyway.

"Ahh…" she sighed in 'relief'.

Okay, the Heels were a bust… but they also mean that Lincoln will do this if we wear them…

"… Got the muscles of a swimmer." Lincoln was talking again,

"Hunh?" Camilla looked down from her daze, seeing the snowy hair of the Loud man contrasting the peeling green of their stall door.

"Your legs remind me of some swimmers I've seen." Lincoln repeated, looking up at her. "But I don't remember seeing you at the pool."

"Oh, yeah- I used to." Camilla admitted, her fingers touching her short locks for moment. "I was pretty good and had fun, but…"

Her school was expensive, and Mom was cutting corners as is.

"I grew out of it."

Lincoln looked up with those blue eyes and seemed to think for a moment. "Is that so…" He switched to examining her legs once more, and while Camilla was very happy to see him taking an interest, she could feel there were some wheels turning in that clever brain of his. "You know, I think the pool close to my house has a Water Volleyball team.

You could be a good fit."

Camilla knew it. She used to be in the junior section.

"I…" but how to tell him that she just didn't have the money? "I… I kind of spent my pocket money on games already!"

Okay, now you're a kiddo who spent all the money Mommy gave her in one go! She berated herself, good luck getting him to see us like an adult now!

"Hnnn," Lincoln drew another finger up the soft part of her foot again, forcing her to repress a squirm. "I think they're doing lessons too now, mostly for kids just learning how to swim. The instructor was looking for someone to help out, and they give employee discounts."

"I don't knoooowww!" Her nervous answer twisted as Lincoln found another sweet spot, she glanced down to see a hint of a tease in his eyes. "I don't think they'd just hire me like that anyway."

Lincoln considered her for a moment, and again she felt those gears spinning in his mind. A confident smile split his face once more, and Camilla flushed again.

"Well… I think you just might have a shot." His blue eyes twinkled. "I think you'll find I'm something of a smooth talker when it comes to these kinds of things."

"Oh, um…" Camilla's teeth touched her lip again, "t-thanks but-"

"And I think you'd look great in a swimsuit." He gave that charming, full-toothed grin.


The referee's whistle pierced her ears, and the teams in the pool stopped mid-paddle to allow the ball to bob along unmolested to work out the last of her punt's kinetic force.

"And that's the match- Surfing Squirrels win by four points!" The tall referee turned to the winning team, "congratulations Royal Woods!"

There was a cheer from the stands, and Camilla's heart swelled as she saw her Mom, Lincoln, Lyra and Joan in the stands issuing those cheers. Sure, there weren't as many people who watched Water Volleyball as other sports, but it meant a lot to her that they were in the crowd.

But hey, she could hear the shouts for her

"I knew you were still a shark!"

"Incredible Cammy!"

"I knew you could do it Camilla!"

"You were amazing- and you made yourself even better!"

A shy blush came across her face despite the cold of the water, and she shyly paddled over.


"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you draw." Lincoln mused.

"Eh?" Camilla looked up from where she was gorging herself (swimming burns a lot of calories!), taking a moment to swallow a few stands of greasy noodles from the box in her lap. He already went on his way to go pick up some of his nieces from their extra-curriculars on these days, so her mom was content to let the nice man who helped out so much do a little more.

"You have a callus in the same place as mine," he briefly held up his right hand so she could see the little lump on the inner left of his right middle finger. "I asked Lyra, and she says you draw at home sometimes."

"Oh, I'm just usually doing other things I guess." Camilla admitted. Drawing was just a little side hobby for her, and with swimming back in her life along with homework and games, she only popped open her sketchbook to make some doodles now and then to clear her mind. "Besides, it's not like I'm a real artist or anything, I just like making fun stuff."

A nostalgic smile crossed Lincoln's face; "you know, I think I can remember someone else who said the same thing…"


"Not bad," Camilla jumped as a certain, dry voice commented behind her. "Not exactly what I was expecting, but not bad."

"O-oh, hi Lupa." Camilla's fingers trembled as a they resisted the urge to hide her work- it would be pointless anyway. "F-fancy meeting you here."

"At my house?" Lupa smirked, "yeah it's a real rarity, right?"

Camilla was sitting on a spare chair in the Loud's Garage, just doing a bit of free drawing- meaning mostly just doodles again, but even they had a bit more 'substance' to them thanks to some advice from Lincoln;

It doesn't matter what your style is, you just need to make sure it says something. Keep it consistent so the viewer can tell that when you're deviating, it's to express something. Otherwise, they'll think it's a mistake.

That and a few other basic tips had helped a lot more than she'd had ever expected.

"Aren't those my uncle's?" Lupa pointed at the open tin pack of pencils on her lap, the contents were irregularly sized and well used, but still the high quality only a decent price could provide. "Pretty sure no one's supposed to touch those."

"Oh- he said I could have them." Camilla flushed, I'm not a thief! "He said he'd gotten another set a little whole ago-"

"So he let you have 'em, got it." Lupa rolled her eyes. "… So, you and him, right?"

Oh Shit- "you said-"

"I'm not judging," Lupa casually strode past her, into the shadows. There was a brief scraping sound and she reappeared with a small stool that she dropped a little in front of Camilla and planted herself upon. "You're just in my spot."

"Your spot?"

"Yeah, this is my place for drawing." Lupa indicated around the garage, "after the other guys are done in here it's the quietest place we have- so I get in here and draw."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Camilla shrunk a little. "Lincoln said-"

"Yeah, yeah, he asked." Lupa rolled her neck, and looked at her with a little curiosity. " ' Said he wanted to let you try out some stuff in here after practice, I just thought I'd check and see if I was gonna need a mop next time I come in."

"N-no!" Camilla's face burned again; "w-we haven't even-"

She bit her tongue.

Lupa smirked again, "aww, too bad. Me and the old man could've worked out a deal."

Camilla's mouth twisted, not exactly sure how to respond to Lincoln's niece essentially offering (or demanding) to let them bribe her for a place for 'close encounters'.

Lupa, for her part, wore a smug glee at her discomfort. "Kinda weird though," she finally continued. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I seem to remember you not exactly being the waiting type- no offense. Seems like you're a little behind schedule now-"

"We've done things!" Camilla blurted, "l-like massages-"

"Ooohh," Lupa drew out the word with a grin. "A massage where?"

"Uhm, my legs." Camilla kicked her feet up a little.

The other girl's eyes flickered down, but she seemed sceptical; "yeah, the old man knows how to use his hands." Lupa shrugged. "Lois sometimes gets him to do her back 'cause of her jumbo tits-"

"We've done dates!" Camilla insisted. "W-we went to the café, and… some other places…"

Lupa just watched her.

"… what?"

"Nothing, look; the old man had to go get Lina 'cause she was being stupid again and told me to tell you he'd be a while." Lupa finally sighed, and she got up to leave. But she stopped, and looked back to Camilla. "… Hey, you're serious about all this right?"

"Yeah, yeah I am." Camilla nodded.

"... then we're probably going to have to get used to each other anyway.

Mind if I sit and draw too?"


Graduation was harder than she expected.

Sure, she and her friends were going to have a harder time seeing each other since they each had different interests- but she knew they'd stay in touch. They were basically family, and they had all kinds of communication lines through the internet anyway.

The ceremony didn't mean that much to her either, she'd had great grades for years so it wasn't in question.

What was unexpected was how seeing not only her Mom's, but Lincoln's face with tears of pride would get to her as she accepted her arts award.

"Ah…" she swallowed. "I would like to thank my Mom, for supporting me for so long on her own… she was always there for me and I wouldn't have gotten here without her giving up so much for me…

And I'd like to t-thank Mr Loud, for pushing me to keep getting better even I thought I couldn't."

She marched back in line to applause and with a few tears of her own. After Lyra and some of her sisters collected their own merit trophies, she found herself embraced by her Mom, and gave a her a right squeeze as her tears dampened her graduation robe's shoulder.

Then, fresh from being pried off Lyra by her Moms (who promptly crushed her in a tight squeeze of their own), Lincoln came along and made sure her shoulders matched.

"I'm so proud of you," he whispered. "You're still amazing, and still getting better."

"Thanks Lincoln," she squeezed back. "You… you really are like a dad to me. Seriously."

"Well," he drew in a wet laugh. "That's what I promised, right?"

She drew away a little after that, and huddled with her friends as highschoolers (sort of, did it count if they were just done with graduation?) once last time.

"You know, I'm really proud of him too." Lyra nodded towards where her uncle was gleefully reminiscing with her own Moms and Ms Ramirez over their baby photos. "Sometimes I forget… but he's a really good man in his own way."

"I have to admit, I misjudged him." Joan shook her head and sighed. "Ah… the follies of youth."

"You're eighteen."

"And I regret it already." Joan let out a little laugh. "… I can see what you saw in him you know."

"Oh Lord- again!?" Lyra groaned.

"Not like that," Joan huffed. "Besides, he wouldn't take advantage of someone vulnerable, right Cammy dear?"

Camilla smiled as the silly, sweet man happily exchanged 'war stories' with her Mom. "No, no he's better than that... unfortunately.

But maybe now that I've graduated-."

"Cammy!"


A/N:

You thought it was a smutfic where Chadcoln made yet another teenage conquest, but it was I: wholesome content!

Wholesome content involving a few thousand words of a well grown Lincoln's nude body and the fascination of a teenage girl thereof, but wholesome content in the end regardless.

Special thanks to Nuuo for his fast beta-reading and suggestions, without him the editing process would have taken the publication date well past this (at the time of writing's) April First regardless of whatever else happened.

This one was fairly simple, but as per usually it ended up running well over the expected short word length. I don't celebrate April 1st as I come from a Commonwealth Nation where the tradition is an internet annoyance at best rather than some ingrained cultural institution, and usually mild annoyance is the only thing I associate with the holiday.

But the obvious subversion occurred to me as a fun thing that could mesh well with the event, so there you go.

Fun fact: this was originally planned out as having three thousand words at most roughly a week before upload.

That did not happen.

As it was, I even had to send out a barebones ending section for April First as I was simply too exhausted to flesh out the thing in time, and only added the more expansive version now present days after, and that brought the final count to approximately 17,500 words in total.

For all those wondering; Camilla and Joan are not my OCs, but rather some relatively obscure ones that had already existed for maybe a year. Only a few images of them were made at the time of writing, and no fanfics before this one on this site as far as I know. Since their initial release most of said images have vanished from the internet, but Camilla and Joan's brief character descriptions and the endearing, character-filled images that were made with them made them stand out for something more than just being the average self-insert or wank-bait. Legitimately endearing I might add, not simply smut.

As far as I know no true smut has even been made with at the time of writing. Sin Kid OCs without smut, that's how obscure these two are.

Note: originally I was unaware of the creator(s) of Joan and Camilla, and included some elements that they found delicately unappealing. In respect to their wishes, minor alterations have been made to remove said elements, but no major storybeats have been changed.

Nonetheless, I think this was a nice way to use them and if anyone wants to see more of them;

The original picture that inspired me can be found by searching 'Camilla Ramirez' on pixiv, for now it's just the one (as far as I know), but some others may be posted again in the future, and;

I've written a Oneshot on how Camilla's first trip could've gone in a way more 'suited to the holiday spirit', as well as a non-canon 'interquel' that would have taken place before Camilla's graduation, so if you're so inclined you can find them in my Oneshot Collection as: Camilla Ramirez's Recruitment and Camilla Joins The Denied Girls.