Author's Note: So, my life absolutely blew up this week (and not in a good way), so apologies for not getting this out yesterday like I was hoping. This was actually (or a version of this) the first thing I ever wrote for this fic. It's what gave me the idea for the rest of it. The prompt was "Please, talk to me." and when I started writing, having a vague idea of something about nightmares... it just snowballed from there! And that's when I decided to name it The End, in conjunction with the prologue being called The Beginning. Second to last chapter, y'all. You better fricking buckle up!😄


The End

It was one of the worst nightmares she'd had since her return to the Temple. Somehow, everything she feared most from Dooku's ministrations was in this one dream. She could feel the burns of the vibrowhip coming into being on her back, as the sound of waves crashed beneath her, waiting to swallow her whole. Everything was bathed in a red glow as four blinding lights shone in her face. The deep voice of Count Dooku intoned, "Ahsoka. How many lights do you see?"

She scrabbled to give him an answer, any answer that would make it all stop. Why was she here? She'd been rescued, she couldn't be here anymore, why was she still- "Ahsoka! How many lights!"

"I don't know!" She tried to yell back, but the gag was around her lips. She could see him reaching for the remote, and she clawed at her face, trying to rip the gag off with her bare hands. But something was holding her wrists, and the Count just kept shouting, "Ahsoka! Ahsoka!"

And then it wasn't the Count. She wasn't in the castle, there was no water in sight. Instead, the fierce, blue eyes of her Master came into focus in front of her. She froze.

"Ahsoka! Ahsoka! Snips, wake up!"

She drew in a ragged breath, pulling her wrists out of his hands and scooting backward until she reached the wall, feeling a vital need to put space between them. Anakin stayed where she'd left him, but she could tell he didn't like it. Oh, how she wished he hadn't witnessed that.

She gingerly touched the area around her mouth, feeling the sting of self-inflicted scratches all over her cheeks and chin. So. She hadn't just been frantic in her dream. She tried to pull in a slow, deep breath, remembering Master Yoda's advice. But all she could manage was a horridly shaky one.

There was silence for another few heartbeats as Anakin stared at her. She pointedly ignored him, hoping he would get the hint. She felt bad enough that she hadn't managed to escape Dooku on her own. She knew a little of her Master's past and hadn't wanted to ever subject him to more of what she knew he feared the most: the sight of his loved ones nearly or dead.

She shut her eyes tight, curling up against the wall as if it could give her the comfort that she sought and denied.

"Please. Talk to me."

Her eyes opened.

"Ahsoka, in these times…" Wartime, he didn't have to say. "We all have nightmares. It's not healthy to keep it all inside. And what you went through… Ahsoka, I can't even imagine. So let me help. Please."

She felt her lips pull in a scowl. She was not in the mood for his calm tone of voice. Like he was any better! She had heard him in the night, on missions. They often had to share quarters, and she had heard his nighttime cries often enough. Sometimes she caught glimpses of them too. Images of endless white sand, two merciless suns beating down, trying to drain the life out of her as the feeling of hopelessness engulfed her. Other times it was flashes of battles she knew her Master had been in, a clone in blasted armour cradled in her- his arms, or shot down right in front of him. The helpless feeling now with guilt and sorrow dancing around the edges.

But did he ever want to talk about those? Noooo. Sometimes she'd even shake him awake if it was bad enough, but he'd only sit up, blink those questioning eyes at her for merely a second before waving her away.

So she thought she could be forgiven for wanting to keep some things to herself.

Except that she didn't. Not really.

She just didn't know how to make sense of it herself.

She felt Anakin scoot closer as she stubbornly refused to look up. "Snips." The voice was barely a whisper. Two fingers on her chin, and her eyes met his.

Her emotions were roiling inside her like a Mon Calamari whirlpool. The one thing, perhaps, that hadn't been dealt with in the aftermath of all that had happened. But for one second she could see centering calm in the eyes of her Master. The one person she knew would never let her down.

And she gave in.

He sensed her intention a moment before she did, flinging his arms out as she barreled into his chest.

Three tears slipped from her eyes as her body gave out shaky breaths. She clung to his comfort with arms that could barely hold on, still rather weakened by the lack of nourishment from her imprisonment. He compensated by almost crushing her, unaware of his own strength in love.

Even the beeps and whistles of R2D2 and the racing footsteps behind them couldn't make her let go.

"Artoo, what on earth is the matter?" Came the always imperious sounding voice of Obi-wan Kenobi. He rushed into the room directly behind the droid. "What are we- oh."

Ahsoka heard his feet stop, felt Anakin turn his head to give Obi-wan some kind of look, and then a second pair of arms wrapped around her from behind. Her other Master - as she thought of him sometimes - apparently deciding this was not the time for Jedi decorum.

And she was eternally grateful.

She heard R2 quietly slip out, as the three of them breathed deeply together.

She broke the silence with a confession that had been weighing on her heart for a long time. "I was so close to breaking."

At her whisper, she felt Anakin's breath hitch, and behind her, Obi-wan's chest stopped moving altogether.

"I didn't even know it, until it was almost too late. After every night in Despair. After week after week of wondering, is this the night? Is this the night the rope finally snaps and I'll- " Her breath hitched. "I'll… everything will end? One night I realized I was hoping it would. Falling into the waves had to be a swifter, less painful death than what was waiting for me in the morning." She swallowed. "After every night, he would ask me, 'How many lights do you see?' After every- every lash he would ask again. 'How many lights do you see, m-my dear?'" Three more tears slid down her cheek. "The day my wound got infected and they took me down… was… was the day I started to wonder… maybe I do see three lights?" Her confession finally over, she broke down in tears.

But Anakin was having none of it. He pulled back, gripping her shoulders firmly as he looked her in the eye. "Ahsoka. You did not fail." His voice was hoarse with emotion as he added, "You are not a failure. You held out as long as you could, longer than I probably could have. Snips, you don't realize that you won. In the end, he had to keep you drugged and steal your memory, change your entire reality to bend you to his will. You did it, Snips. You did the only thing I ever could've asked of you. You survived."

"Anakin's right, Ahsoka," came the voice of Obi-wan behind her. "And I should like to make sure that you know one very important thing. I don't know what exactly that crystal was telling you, but you need to know that none of this was your fault. You didn't deserve any of it."

With that declaration, the last vestiges of the Sith crystal's power in her mind fled, and Ahsoka could have laughed at how free her mind felt.

Anakin's arms wrapped around her frame again. His choked voice echoed his own words from a night below a castle long ago. Long ago, when no one had ever thought, this will be the last time I see you for months. "I got your back, Snips."

She smiled against his shoulder and squeezed tighter. "I know, Master."

The two men surrounded her again in another hug, and she let their love for her surround her heart in just the same way. She hoped they were doing the same with hers.

Ahsoka knew it would still be a while before she was back to her old self. But this…

This was a good start.


Author's Note: Since I can't post in advance how many chapters there are gonna be here (like I can on AO3), thought I'd let you know there's an epilogue! So don't leave yet!