Chapter 3: Tremors
"Oh...!" Tetsuya gasped, breathlessly as he started to sit up and pain rocketed through his healing body.
He leaned forward, taking soft, panting breaths, spots dancing in front of his eyes and distress plain on his comely face. Renji sat up next to him, smiling and shaking his head sympathetically.
"Hurts like hell, huh?" he said, reaching a hand in the young noble's direction to offer him a pain block, "You really got the stuffing knocked outta you."
Instantly, Tetsuya's back straightened, his lips tightened, and he leaned away from the redhead, frowning.
"I am fine," he said in a low, controlled voice, "I will go and make something for us to eat. You like your tea light, no cream, extra sugar, ne?"
Renji tilted his head, crossed his arms and gave Tetsuya a stern look.
"What are you talking about?" he asked stridently, "Tetsuya, you're not going anywhere. You can pretend all you want, but I can see you feel like shit and I'm not going to have you killing yourself, making food for me like a goddamned servant. Lie down before you fall down."
"Gomen nasai," the young man said, stiffening rebelliously, "I am not going to fall down. I am perfectly capable of shoving off discomfort and focusing on what needs to be done. I will not be treated like a child, Abarai fukutaichou!"
"Hey," Renji said reprovingly, taking the younger man by the shoulders and gently shoving him back down onto his pillow, "who the hell is the fukutaichou here and who's the subordinate? I told you to lie down. That was an order, Kuchiki, and I damned well expect you to obey it."
Tetsuya gave him a startled look and went silent.
"I'm making breakfast today. So, hey, it will probably feel more like home to you, coming from Kuchiki Manor, where servants are at your beck and call twenty-four seven. That's gotta be nice..."
Tetsuya loosed a clipped laugh.
"I suppose it is, for the people that actually applies to. In truth, until Byakuya-sama and I were able to win council approval for my promotion to head of security and Byakuya-sama's personal bodyguard, I was one of Byakuya-sama's attendants, although he asked very little of me."
"That why you're such a good cook?" Renji asked, smiling.
"I am good at cooking because after spending much of my childhood in the noble's prison, where the food was all one color and tasted of rot and the water was foul and made us sick half of the time, I became enchanted with culinary variety, and Byakuya-sama happily indulged me by teaching me how to cook."
"Whoa...wait a sec! Taichou taught you to cook? Really?"
"Well," said Tetsuya, smiling at the memory, "He realized fairly quickly that I enjoyed the variety of foods and all of the ways that they could be prepared, and he indulged my interest by cooking with me and encouraging me to experiment."
"That's great," Renji said amiably, "So, it seems like you and he are pretty close."
"He saved my life," Tetsuya said, matter-of-factly, "and we worked closely together with his grandfather to change the perception of mixed bloods, and how they are treated in the family."
"Mixed bloods?" Renji queried, "You're...?"
"I am half-noble, half-peasant. My father was Kuchiki Takao, first cousin of Kuchiki Soujun, Byakuya-sama's father, and my mother was Kiko of the mid-Rukongai. They met and fell in love at a time when marrying a commoner wasn't just looked down on, but was severely punished."
"I've never understood that attitude," Renji sighed, "I mean, we're all living beings..."
"But some claim a higher standard, both in life and the way they live it," Tetsuya explained, "You know that Byakuya-sama defied the clan and married Hisana of Inuzuri."
"Yeah?"
"Well, part of the reason that the elders finally accepted Byakuya-sama's argument and allowed them to marry was because of reaction to what happened to my family, and to others like us. You see, my parents realized that the clan would punish them if it was found out that they had fallen in love, but I had already been conceived, and they could not give each other up. My father knew what the clan would do, so the two escaped into the Rukongai. My mother was days from giving birth when a group of men burst into their home and took them away to a secret prison, not far from Kuchiki Manor. Soujun knew that they had been taken and he tried desperately to find them, but he died before he could. My parents were incarcerated, and I was born in the prison. My father was executed while I was an infant, and my mother died as she tried to keep the guards from taking me away to my initiation."
"Initiation?" repeated Renji, a sick feeling rising inside at the word.
"After coming of age, boys within the prison were considered young men, and we were initiated sexually by groups of guards."
"Shit," Renji breathed, shaking his head, "That's awful..."
"I was fortunate in that a slightly older boy named Naoki had befriended me. He explained what they were going to do so that I wouldn't be afraid. He said that if I was calm, that they wouldn't be forceful. He gently instructed me in how to please them, and I gave up my innocence to him before the guards came for me."
"So, Naoki was the lover you told me about?"
"Yes. He is the reason I survived long enough for Byakuya-sama to learn of the prison and to come to free us. Naoki died when he stepped between me and one of the guards, during our escape. He saved my life, then Byakuya-sama found me and learned who I was. And because our fathers had been close, he insisted upon bringing me into his household. He was forced to do so by making me one of his attendants. And many of the family members looked down on me, for that my blood was mixed. I didn't mind so much because Byakuya-sama and I became as close as brothers. And slowly, over time, as the details of the atrocities within the prison were brought to light, the views of some family members softened. And clan policy was less strictly enforced. So that, by the time that Byakuya-sama met Hisana, he was able to secure permission to marry her, even though their child, had they had one, would have been a half-blood, like me."
"I'll bet she was pretty grateful to you," Renji chuckled.
"Yes Hisana-sama and I became close friends. She was...very kind...very gentle. It was easy to like her, even though..."
Tetsuya broke off suddenly, leaving Renji feeling that he had missed something important.
"Well, that is enough about me," the noble went on, "And I really needn't ask about you, as Byakuya-sama has told me so much about you."
"I hope it was mostly good," Renji said, grinning.
"Oh, it was," Tetsuya assured him, "Byakuya-sama holds you in very high esteem, Renji-san."
"That's good to hear," Renji said, laughing softly, "He's not one to say so much, but, good or bad, he gets the point across."
"He does," Tetsuya agreed.
"Okay," Renji said, standing, "I'm gonna go see about making some breakfast. Now, I'm ordering you to stay in this bed and actually rest. I will need your help on the next part of this mission, so I want you in top form."
"Of course, Renji-san," Tetsuya said, smiling gratefully.
He watched as Renji left, then sighed softly and laid back against the pillows and closed his eyes. He started to drift off, but came awake again with his stomach lurching, his heart in his throat, and his attacker's deep, hateful voice in his mind.
"I think that his doting upon you has made you arrogant, half blood. But...I will be more than happy to remind you of your place, here and now!"
Tetsuya's skin crawled with the memory of the man's fingers digging in painfully, hot breath on the back of his neck, sharp teeth sinking into his shoulder, and the explosion of scathing heat as the man released inside him. Overcome, he abandoned the bed and fled into the bathroom. He emptied his stomach violently, then retreated into the shower, leaving the water cold to chase away the suffocating heat he felt everywhere on his body at once. He tried to think of something else, to focus his mind on anything but what had happened, but the more recent attack still tore at him. And as the agonizing minutes passed, they brought back other, deeply submerged memories.
"Oh!" Tetsuya moaned, closing his eyes tightly and trying to force the memories away.
"Please! He is too young! Don't do this to him! Don't take him in there!" his mother's voice cried in his mind.
"Get back!" one of the guards said, shoving the petite, brown-haired woman away.
She seemed to fall in slow motion as Tetsuya tore free of the guard holding him, and ran towards her.
"Mother!"
He went breathless as her body was thrown back against the rocky wall of the cell, then landed roughly, her head striking the hard, stone floor.
"MOTHER!" he screamed.
He fought wildly, then, tearing at the hands that tried to pull him away from her.
"LET ME GO! She's hurt! Let me go!" he sobbed, his eyes widening as blood seeped out from under the collapsed woman's head.
"Tetsuya, for kami's sake, snap out of it!" yelled Renji's voice, bringing the noble suddenly back to reality.
Tetsuya sucked in a pained breath and opened his eyes.
He found himself still naked and on his knees under the icy spray of the now-cold shower, face to face with a worried looking Renji, with the redhead's hands holding his wrists tightly and his troubled eyes staring down into Tetsuya's.
Seeing awareness returning to Tetsuya's eyes, Renji released his wrists and reached up to turn off the shower. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around the younger man's body, then left the shower for a moment to dry himself off and put on a fresh yukata.
Tetsuya knelt for a moment longer, gathering himself, then stood on shaky legs and dried himself off. He wrapped the wet towel around himself and was starting to exit the bathroom, when he felt Byakuya's presence, and it hit him suddenly that Renji was standing just inside the bedroom doors, holding one of Tetsuya's yukatas and talking to the clan leader.
"Oh no..." Tetsuya breathed, blanching as Byakuya's eyes found him, and he saw the burning anger in them.
"Tetsuya," Byakuya said, his reiatsu rising ominously, "It is painfully obvious that you have been sharing Renji's room...his shower and, apparently, his bed. Would you care to explain yourself?"
Tetsuya's breath froze in his lungs and his limbs went numb. His head spun and his vision dimmed warningly as he faced his elder cousin, struggling to speak. Something seemed to come undone inside him, and his legs gave way, sending him crashing to the floor.
"Shit!" hissed Renji as he and Byakuya flash stepped to the fallen man's side, "Taichou, I was trying to explain. He's been...sick, sick as a dog, the whole time. I brought him in here because it was easier to take care of him and rest, myself, that way. I'm sorry that it looked like something was going on. But I promise you, nothing happened between Tetsuya and me...nothing!"
Byakuya knelt at his cousin's side, ignoring Renji completely as he rested his palms on Tetsuya's collapsed form, infusing him with healing power. He frowned as he scanned his cousin's body, shaking his head as he looked up at Renji.
"Abarai fukutaichou," he said, disapprovingly, "it is clear to me that Tetsuya is not recovering from simple illness. Did you really think that I would miss the signs of this?"
"Ah..." Renji said, nervously.
"B-byakuya-sama," Tetsuya said, his eyes fluttering and opening again.
"Tetsuya, what is going on here?" Byakuya asked in a less angry, more concerned tone, "You were injured recently. I can see that. How?"
Tetsuya gave Renji a look of warning.
Do not forget what you promised me!
"I...it was stupid, really. I was surprised by a hollow. And...remembering your order not to use my bankai unnecessarily, I hesitated at a wrong moment and took some damage. I didn't want you to worry, and I was going to be fine. I just...became feverish as I was healing, and Renji cared for me. That is all that happened, Byakuya-sama. I swear to you that nothing happened between Renji-san and me!"
Byakuya gazed into Tetsuya's widened blue eyes for a long moment, then looked up at Renji questioningly. Renji nodded.
"It's like he said, Taichou. He is just adjusting, getting used to us working together, like you wanted us to...and we...didn't coordinate so well at first. But he's okay, really. I wasn't going to let anything happen to him. It's pretty clear how close you two are."
Renji saw an odd flash of emotion that appeared in Byakuya's eyes, then disappeared just as rapidly.
"Very well," said the noble, slipping an arm around the younger noble and helping him to his feet, "Come, Tetsuya, I will tend to you for the rest of today, and we will continue our work on this mission tomorrow, provided you are well enough. Renji, you met with our contact here?"
"Y-yeah," the redhead confirmed, "There's a meeting later today, but I can handle it myself so you can..."
"No," said the noble, "You should not attend alone."
"Arashi can back him up," offered Tetsuya, "He followed Renji-san yesterday and learned the territory here."
"Ah, good," Byakuya said approvingly, "Come then."
Tetsuya gave Renji a look of gratitude and relaxed against his cousin's shoulder as Byakuya led him out of Renji's room and back to his own. The clan leader closed and locked the door behind them, then walked with his cousin to the bed, where Tetsuya sat down and rubbed his hands over his face to clear his mind. Byakuya stepped into the closet, and returned with a dark, burgundy colored yukata. Tetsuya came to his feet, letting the towel drop to the floor and keeping his eyes lowered as Byakuya helped him into his yukata, then captured his face in both hands and offered him a warm, lingering, open-mouthed kiss.
"I am sorry that I doubted you," Byakuya said solemnly, "I know better than to think such things. It is just that...since we cannot be together openly, I sometimes feel guilty for keeping you from finding someone who could make you happier."
Tetsuya shook his head dismissively and sought Byakuya's mouth again, for several more deep kisses.
"No one could make me happier than you do, Byakuya-sama," he whispered, placing his hands over the ones that touched his face, "And anyway...who would want a broken thing like me."
"Tetsuya..."
"No, it's true," Tetsuya went on, tears coming to his eyes, "You know it is. No one is ever going to want a lover who cannot give everything. And despite having been your lover for all of this time, I still cannot..."
Byakuya sat down on the bed with Tetsuya, and wrapped his arms around him, comfortingly.
"Stop," the clan leader said, shaking his head, "You know that there is much more to what is between us than things of a sexual nature, Tetsuya. It does not matter to me if we are never together that way. If all we can do is kiss and touch each other, we are still able to satisfy each others' needs. And I choose to believe that we will break through this."
"But we have been like this for almost fifty years!" Tetsuya exclaimed softly, "And I have not been able to put this behind me for even more. Byakuya-sama, the last person I gave myself to was Naoki! And that was...that was forever ago! I should have been stronger. I should have been able to put that place, and the things that happened there behind me."
"You have come a great distance from the poor, ragged prisoner you were, Tetsuya," Byakuya reminded him. You are a powerful and accomplished shinigami...and you and I have done so much to change the perception and treatment of mixed blood family members. I know that it distresses you that you are still burdened with that horrid pain from before, but do not think only of that. Think of what you have accomplished."
"I know," Tetsuya sighed, resting his head on Byakuya's shoulder and closing his eyes, "I just...I want to be able to give you everything. Kami knows that you have done everything you could to mend me. I do not know what made you do that...but I am...so grateful, Byakuya-sama. And however shattered it was, I gave my heart to you. I am not going to do anything to destroy what is between us. But you know that I will understand if you feel you must move on and..."
Byakuya stopped his words with a sudden, hard kiss, then brought Tetsuya down on his back on the bed, lowering a hand to open their yukatas. He laid his body on top of the younger man's, letting his hands explore Tetsuya's healing body as his hips moved, rubbing their thickening lengths together.
Tetsuya flinched and shivered at the contact, but forced his body to calm as Byakuya continued to kiss and explore him. But even though he could push away the physical signs, he couldn't stop the words that kept repeating in his mind...words first spewed by the guards of the family prison, then repeated by the one who had attacked him the day before.
"I will be more than happy to remind you of your place, here and now!"
He forced his eyes to open and fell deeply into Byakuya's, drawing the strength he needed to not freeze inside...to calmly accept his lover's hands exploring him, and to offer the same in return. But as Byakuya's mouth began to work its way down his slender torso, and his fingers touched the younger man's entrance, Tetsuya turned suddenly, making Byakuya roll nimbly onto his back on the bed. Tetsuya slid down his body, parting his cousin's thighs, closing his eyes and inhaling his huge erection.
"Tetsuya!" Byakuya moaned, slipping his fingers into the younger man's hair as Tetsuya's head rose and fell, and his warm mouth brought the clan leader quickly to the edges of bliss Tetsuya drew back slightly as Byakuya's body went taut, and swallowed repeatedly as hot pulses of his cousin's blazing seed filled his mouth and burned its way down his throat.
Byakuya dragged the younger man back to his mouth and plunged in deeply, moaning contentedly at tasting himself on Tetsuya's damp lips and tongue. He turned to return the pleasure that Tetsuya had given him, but stopped at seeing the weary look in the younger man's eyes.
"I am sorry," Byakuya said, touching Tetsuya's face gently, "That was selfish of me, considering you are not well. I want to pleasure you, but you look as though it might be more painful than pleasant."
"I think it would be," said Tetsuya, grateful for the chance to gracefully decline, "But...I promise that once I have rested, I will do everything I can to please you...Byakuya-sama."
Byakuya shook his head and turned onto his side, wrapping his arms around the younger man and kissing him on the back of the neck.
"Rest, then," Byakuya whispered, "I am sure you will feel better when you wake."
