"Detonate," Jimi whispers.
"Fu-" is all Raven says before an explosion throws her through the air.
"Lightning Release: Fazing Flash Kick!" Jim back-flips, slamming his electrified boots one after the other into Raven's chin, rocketing her through the ceiling, 'that must've hurt like hell.'
Slug hangs onto a rafter jutting from a ruined section of the skyscraper. He reaches for the steel girder, but his grasp slips against its slick surface. Below, a mass of shadows shift and shuffle in the dark; lightning reveals the mutants scaling the surface after him. The shinobi struggles to pull himself up, praying a thunderbolt will not strike him down into the hoard. Despite his injury, Slug pulls himself inside a lavish conference room with comfy office chairs and a large, sleek table in the center. After dusting himself off and confirming his ribs and internal organs are not suffering any critical damage, a dreadful realization hits him like a truck.
FLASHBACK NO-JUTSU
"By the way, dick doc—I'm a man. Lightning Release: High Voltage Vendetta!"
END FLASHBACK
Heat rises in Slug's cheeks; he slumps on a chair, his face flushing radish red with shame and utter humiliation. A ghostly humanoid fishlike creature with big bulging eyes and dark-red skin appears beside him.
"It's a trap!" the apparition warns before fading away; Slug dismisses the Force ghost as a lingering genjutsu from a dead caster.
It dawns on Slug like a slap across the face as he recalls many nights alone (as far as he knows) in his office with what he now doubts is a woman's picture. 'The top brass should've at least known Malkhaz's CORRECT gender before cataloging a fucking dossier!' Slug shudders, remembering how many of his fellow shinobi possess copies of the ASF's Bingo Book. 'In retrospect, the model on the front cover of Majin Booty Magazine – Issue No. 4 looks precisely like her—HIM or whatever!'
Slug's hands rest on his mask, unaware of the creeping danger, 'after I recover Malkhaz's body, I'll check to be certain. I'll pass it off as an autopsy—wait! What am I thinking!?' there's a light tap of a footstep, the scrunching leather of his conference chair. A pair of hands squeeze his shoulders, causing him to wince in pain. A silhouette of an older woman with long white hair appears before him.
Lightning brightens the conference room. An eyeball dangles from the mutant hag's bloody decomposing skull as discharge and maggots ooze from every wound covering its slimy flesh. Slug smashes a vase across the mutant's head, knocking out its dentures. The mutant falls onto a glass side table shattering it. He leaps over the office chair, but the mutant snatches his ankle tripping him. He kicks the mutant in its face, then rushes across a couch for his sword.
The mutant springs off the ground, tackling Slug onto the cushion; he frees his upper body and tries leaping away, but the mutant has a firm grip on Slug's pants. The mutant throws him back on the couch; Slug's trousers slip around his ankles. He clasps the armrest struggling to escape, but the mutant lunges forward, clutching his boxers.
"Aaagh! No! Nononono! No! No!" Slug panics as his boxers rip and tear. The mutant throws Slug's underwear down, yanking him towards the couch again, "fucking no!" the salivating mutant clutches his junie cakes, "not my ass!" Its jaw unhinges before chomping down, "aagh!" Slug screams as the toothless mutant suckle and slurps, "my ass! My ass! She's gumming my ass!"
A mutant lunges at Jim from above; he ducks letting it crash through a window behind him. The mutant falls, fading into darkness; a distant crash follows a blaring car alarm.
Toasty~!
Jim shrugs before continuing up the stairs onto the next floor. Raven hangs upside down from the ceiling, appearing unconscious. Not taking any chances, he slaps an explosive tag on a kunai before throwing it.
Raven's eyebrows raise, and her eyes bulge; the kunai detonates on impact. Jim rushes up the stairs snickering. Despite his target escaping the explosion, the kunai hit its mark. His snickering turns to full-blown laughter, knowing he bulls-eye the brown eye.
"You bitch!" the furious kunoichi screams, appearing behind Jim.
Jim is on the defensive, dodging and deflecting an onslaught of kicks capable of taking his head clean off. Raven sends a hopping side-kick at Jim, but he hooks his calf around her hamstring, deflecting the attack. Jim retaliates, dispatching swift, sharp jabs and pokes to Raven's floating rib, triceps, elbow, and wrist before kneeing her in the celiac plexus. She surprises him with a flying armbar slamming Jim to the ground. Yet, he breaks free before Raven can dislocate his shoulder. Raven unsheathes her sword; Jim seizes Raven's wrist preventing the kunoichi from slitting his throat. A jolt of agony via chakra absorption techniques disarms Raven. Jim overturns, then strangles her with his icy hands.
Jim's grip tightens; the amber eyes of a mass murderer bare down upon Raven. She struggles, but his grasp is unyielding; her lungs burn from lack of oxygen. Spots flash across Raven's vision as her chakra depletes. She snatches a rotary dialing phone and clocks him across the head; Jim doesn't know if it's his head or the phone ringing. She suplexes him onto a table, then slams her elbow into his chest, almost knocking the wind from him. He redirects Raven's elbow, rolls back, and kicks her in the torso. Jim grabs a computer keyboard, then bashes her across the head. Raven doesn't know if stars or computer keys are falling around her. Regardless she's livid!
They re-engage in close-quarters taijutsu. Jim has experience and speed, but Raven has talent and power; she reads, predicts, mimics, and begins using Jim's fighting style against him, 'how is this possible!?' Jim wonders, 'unless… No! Not one of them!' he panics, increasing the speed and ferocity of his attacks. He catches Raven with a jab, cross, hook combo, two quick consecutive rib kicks, a rising heel-kick to her chin, then yanks his foot down in an ax-kick.
Raven sidesteps, kicks Jim in the abdomen, then hurls a spinning hook-kick; he ducks (esquiva). She jumps in the air sustaining an airborne assault, stomping at Jim's face. He blocks, but the volley of kicks keeps him on defense. Raven lands, yet her onslaught remains swift, relentless, and precise. Jim counters with a heel-kick; she deflects but is on the receiving end of a tilt-a-whirl head-scissor takedown.
He reaches for her throat; she grabs his wrists, struggling to forestall him from absorbing her chakra. Jim inches closer but Raven head-butts him in the face, then drives her boots into his chest. He flies through the air and crashes behind a reception desk.
"Oof!" Jim hops on the desk, fuming with a bloody nose, "suck 1.21 Jigawatts, bitch!" his hands blur over a sequence of seals, "Lightning Release: Ballistic Bolt Barrage!" A torrent of lightning surges after Raven; she zooms through the cubicles like a greased weasel. The currents close in, but Raven dives away, preventing the twin bolts from vaporizing her. The lightning beams dissipate; she uses the opportunity to re-strategize, then plans a counterattack. Raven spots her sword in an adjacent cubicle.
Jim surveys the vicinity, scanning for the slightest activity or noise. With the Bolts of Zeus, he smites any mutants unfortunate enough to draw his attention, reducing them to red paste bespattering the floors and walls. Clattering draws Jim's attention; a civilian wearing a purple sweater appears from a cubicle in the front row in the far right corner.
"Toasty~!" the civilian choruses.
Jim is taken aback by this, 'there's a survivor? And what did he say?' "Whoa! Uh—what?"
"Uh—I said Toasty~! Because that was the toastiest shit ever! Up high~!" the Toasty beams, raising its arm in a high-five motion at Jim.
"What do you mean by toasty?"
"You know, like whoa, nice move. That was freakin' Toasty~! So like, let's head over to TGI Fridays! Cause there's a special on everything Top-shelf~! And I got a Gift card~! With like fifty-three ryō (currency) left on it!"
"What!? Who in the!? Where the hell did you!? How are you even!?" Jim stammers, "I really can't deal with this right now..." he grumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose, "never mind. Do you mind leaving? I'm kind of in the middle of something right now."
The Toasty slumps in disappointment, "no... no. I get it—yeah. I hear you out. That's—uh. That's cool. That's Toasty~!"
"No! It isn't Toasty~!"
"Watch out~!"
Jim dives away from a flaming skull.
"Toasty~!" Raven choruses as she appears behind Jim. He clasps his hands, preventing himself from being cut down the middle. Jim shoves Raven by pulsing his chakra before assailing her with a kunai. They clash into a crescendo of swift blurs, discharging sparks with every explosive collision. Flames surround them as they skirmish in the middle of the room, set ablaze by a ferocious exchange of lightning and fire-jutsu.
A violent rumbling on the upper floors hastens, growing louder every second. Jim and Raven disengage, back-flipping away before a steel girder crashes through the ceiling. They stare each other down. The floor's weakening structural integrity induces a sense of anxiousness in Raven; however, Jim crouches across the room with a sly grin.
"We don't need no water; let the mother-fucker burn!"
"Nani (what)!?" Raven questions.
"Oh, that's right; you tree-jumping star-chuckers only speak Japanese."
"I don't know what you said in your native tongue, but something tells me it's what you'd get it ripped from your throat for!" Raven snaps.
"Will you, or can you?" Jim asks, speaking Japanese again.
"I can and will!" Raven responds, preparing to attack. Before Raven and Jim can proceed, a long-drawn-out scream approaches. Groans of mindless hunger echo throughout the halls and stairwells, drowning out the cries of distress. Jim is at a loss for words; however, Raven recognizes that scream.
Slug hops out of the dark down the hallway trying to pull up his trousers. A screeching mutant hag rushes out of the darkness after him with a hoard not far behind.
"No! NO! NO! Don't lead them over here, jackass!" Jim yells.
The shinobi clenches his junie cakes hopping even faster, "fuck you, dude!" Raven watches with indifference, not sure what to make of the situation. Her eye twitches out of sheer annoyance at Jim and Slug's antics. Slug hops away like he's in a wild sack race with the hordes sprinting after him and his buns, "step off! Step back! Step away! Step back! Don't—don't step forward; step back! Don't step forward; step backward! Backward! Don't step. To me! Do—not—step—to mee! Eeerrrgh!"
'Those freaks will tear me to pieces unless I act fast!' Jim reasons. A cracked lightbulb flickers above him, 'this isn't my brightest idea, but it's something.' He manipulates a small but dense quantity of electrokinetic chakra around his hand with a nervous chuckle. Rings of Power materialize, levitating above Jim's palm. He ensures both targets are in position before thrusting his hand forward, releasing the technique, "Surging Centrifuge Jutsu!" Concentric chakra rings rush through the air; he clasps his hands, forming the snake hand seal. The floating chakra rings halt in the door frame; Slug launches through the air, tumbling like a tomahawk; his bare ass slams into Raven's face.
Toasty~!
Jim's jutsu sends Raven and Slug crashing into a wall. The Anbu stagger back to their feet. Jim curses, wondering, 'how they're even conscious!?' without equilibrium, they can't discern between the distinct sounds or sights around them. The disjointing haze recedes; both Anbu begins making sense of the world around them.
"Ugh, my head." Raven slurs.
Slug pulls up his trousers; a rock bounces off his mask, then Raven's. They shift their attention, glaring daggers at Jim.
"Hey, dipshits! Let's meet on the rooftops and settle this once and for all!" Jim provokes, calling them out. He discharges a smoke bomb, then disappears.
The mutant hag flies through the black haze extending its arms at Slug and Raven; they dodge, letting it tumble out an adjacent window. Their eyebrows raise, coming to the same horrifying conclusion. The hoard reaches Jim's Surging Centrifuge. They dive away; dozens, then hundreds of mutants launch through the air. Raven and Slug gawk as the mutants catapult over them, then off the skyscraper.
