CHAPTER 4

Days turn into weeks as the weeks turn into a month and still there is no improvement for Jeremy's legs. The only good thing that happens is that Dr. Wright has obtained a wheelchair for Jeremy. Jeremy learns to scoot himself from the bed to the wheelchair and from the wheelchair to the big leather chair and vice versa. At least he doesn't have to depend on anyone carrying him from one place to another. He can move from room to room and even go out on the front porch. But that is as far as he will venture. He hates the chair and doesn't want anyone seeing him in it.

Candy comes to the cabin early every morning to fix breakfast for the brothers. They tried to talk her out of coming so early, but she insists on getting started early to fix breakfast before Jason and Joshua has to go to work. During the day she helps Jeremy with his exercises, does laundry, mends clothes, runs errands, clean house, does the baking, and spends time just talking with Jeremy. Then she cooks supper and after cleaning the dishes, she drags herself back to the dormitory and collapses in bed before she has to get up and start all over again.

One morning as Jeremy sits in the leather chair, he watches Candy closely. He notices how tired she is. Even though she is still the most beautiful girl he has ever seen, she doesn't seem to care about her appearance anymore. Her hair has lost it's luster and her eyes don't sparkle. Plus, he never sees her smile. He knows she is pushing herself beyond her limit and if she keeps up this pace, well he is afraid of what might happen to her. "Candy, would you mind coming over here, please?" he asks.

Slowly she walks over to him. "What is it Jeremy? Do you need something?"

Jeremy takes her hand and pulls her down to sit on his lap. "Yes Candy, I need to talk to you about something. I need you to stop what you're doing and go home. You're. . ."

Candy interrupts him before he can finish. "Why? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, I just want you to go home and rest. I can tell you're worn out."

"I can't do that, Jeremy. I have so much to do yet."

Jeremy shakes his head. "No, you don't. Candy, you're doing too much. I can see how tired you are and it's going to catch up with you one day. You need to go home and get some rest. Please?"

Candy lays her head on his shoulder. "I will admit I am tired, but Jeremy I need to do this. I love being here with you and keeping busy is good therapy for me. Besides, it's good practice for me for when we get married." She kisses his cheek. "That is, if I can ever convince you to marry me." She tries to snuggle closer to Jeremy.

Jeremy becomes irritated with her for bringing up the subject of marriage again. He raises his voice angrily. "Candy, I told you I'm not getting married until I can stand at the altar and walk out of that church with you by my side. I don't want to discuss it anymore."

Standing up and being as tired as she is, Candy's temper snaps. "Jeremy Bolt, you may never walk again, so I guess that means you'll never marry me. Are you sure you're not using this as an excuse to string me along?" she yells as tears fall from her eyes. "I think you don't want a wife, you only want a nurse, cook and a maid. I don't think you love me anymore." She stomps over to the kitchen to check on the cherry rhubarb pie that's in the oven.

Jeremy looks at Candy with so much hurt in his eyes. "Candy! I can't believe you just said that. You know I love you and I want us to be married, but not while I'm like this."

Candy takes the pie out of the oven, then stands and stares at Jeremy. "I'm not sure what I know anymore." She takes her wrap from the wooden peg behind the door. "I do know this, I'm going to take you up on your suggestion that I go home before I say something I shouldn't. Goodbye!" She goes out slamming the door behind her.

Jeremy sits there stunned with tears in his eyes. "You just did, Candy."

Jeremy hears a loud thud at the door. "Candy! Is that you?" he shouts. Not getting a response, he scoots himself into the wheelchair and rolls to the door. Opening the door, he sees that Candy has collapsed on the porch, her forehead with a large gash where it hit the door frame. "Candy! Candy, wake up!" he shouts as he scoots himself from the wheelchair and drops down next to Candy. He begins yelling, hoping to get somebody's attention. "HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!" He focuses back on Candy, gently patting her face to wake her up as fear takes over. "HELP! "HELP!"

Finally, his neighbor Emily Perkins hears him and runs to the cabin. "What happened, Jeremy? Is Candy all right?"

"I can't wake her up! Emily, Candy needs help! Please, get help!" Jeremy focuses on Candy again. "Come on, Candy, wake up. Oh dear Lord, please let her be all right."

Emily runs to the town square and seeing her husband Ben and Aaron Stempel coming out of the store, she frantically shouts, "Ben! It's Candy! She passed out on Jeremy's porch. He can't wake her up. Hurry, she needs help!"

Ben and Aaron run to the Bolt cabin. Jeremy cries, "Ben, Aaron, please help her!"

Aaron lifts Candy into his arms and runs with her to Dr. Wright's office. Ben helps Jeremy get back in his chair and pushes him to Dr. Wright's office where Aaron, Lottie, Emily, and Biddie are waiting in the tiny waiting area. Allyn calls Jeremy into the room where Candy is laying on the exam table.

"What can you tell me, Jeremy? What happened?" Allyn asks as she starts examining Candy.

Jeremy takes a deep breath. With a quivering voice he says, "Well, we were arguing and she stormed out slamming the door. I heard a loud noise out on the front porch, so I had to get in this damn chair and roll myself to the door. When I opened the door, Candy was laying there. Allyn, please help her. She has to be all right."

"I'll do my best, Jeremy. How was she before you two started arguing? Did she seem ill or did she say anything about not feeling well?"

"No, she didn't say anything. She did look like she was tired. More like worn out. I told her to go home and get some rest, but she wouldn't listen to me. That's what we were arguing about."

Allyn smiles at Jeremy. "Yes, I've become well acquainted with that Pruitt stubbornness." She walks around Jeremy to get to Candy better. "Jeremy, you need to move out to the waiting area now so I can have more room. I'll let you know when I'm finished."

"I'd rather stay here with Candy."

"I know you would, but I'm not asking. I'm telling you to go outside."

As Jeremy rolls out to the waiting area, there's not much room for him and his chair. "Jeremy, move please. You're in my way," Biddie tells him as she tries to find a seat.

After a while, the door opens and Allyn steps out to give her diagnosis. "Candy's going to be fine, except for a headache. She's just exhausted. Now, I want everyone to go about your business. I do need you, Aaron to stay and help move Candy to a room. I'm going to keep her here so she can get some rest."

As everyone starts leaving, Aaron goes to help Allyn. "Excuse me, Jeremy. I need to get into the room and you're blocking the way," Aaron tells Jeremy while pushing his chair aside.

Jeremy watches as Candy is taken to a room down the hall. A lot of good I could do her. She needed me and I couldn't do anything to help her. Damn it! I hate this damn chair! I hate myself for being like this. Everyone's right. I am in the way here. Everyone would be better off if I were gone. Especially Candy, Jason, and Josh. Their lives would be so much easier without me around.

Allyn interrupts Jeremy's thoughts. "Jeremy, you can leave if you'd like. Candy will probably be asleep for hours."

With tears in his eyes, Jeremy asks, "Allyn, are you positive Candy will be all right?"

Allyn lays her hand on Jeremy's shoulder. "Yes Jeremy, I promise she is going to be fine. She is just exhausted. After a couple days rest, I expect her to be herself again. Would you like to see her before you leave?"

"Yes, but I'm not leaving. I want to be here when she wakes up."

"You'll do no such thing. Jeremy, that may be tomorrow. I don't want to have you in a room too, because you wore yourself out." She pushes Jeremy into Candy's room. "After you spend some time with her, I want you to go home. You can come back tomorrow." She quietly closes the door.

Jeremy rolls his chair next to the bed and takes Candy's hand raising it to his lips to kiss her fingertips as tears threaten to fall. "Candy, I'm so sorry. I know I didn't show you how much I appreciate you helping me. I love you, Candy. Please forgive me for what I've done." He pauses and chokes up. "And for what I'm about to do." He brushes her hair back from her face, letting his hand linger on her cheek.

He rolls down the hallway to Dr. Wright's office. Stopping in the doorway, he clears his throat and knocks gently. Allyn looks up from behind her desk. "Jeremy, come in. Is there something you need?"

"Uh, I was just wondering if I could, uh, speak with you about something?"

"Why of course you can. How can I help?"

"I'd like to know more about that home in San Francisco you were telling me about. Do you think they will accept me?" Jeremy raises his teary eyes to meet Allyn's eyes.

"Well yes, I'm sure they will accept you if they have an opening. Jeremy, how long do you think you'll be staying?"

"I'm not really sure, but I'm thinking like maybe forever."

"Forever? Jeremy, when I mentioned this place to you, I wasn't suggesting you make it a permanent home. I thought you could go there and learn how to take care of yourself, then return home. May I ask why you changed your mind about this and why you want to stay there?"

"Before, I had hope that I would regain the use of my legs, but after what happened with Candy, I now realize I was only fooling myself. I'm not going to get better and I can't be a burden to Candy, Jason, and Josh any longer."

"Jeremy, I know they don't think of you as a burden. How do you think they're going to take this news?" Allyn asks with tears in her eyes. She cares for Jeremy so much. He was her first patient when she arrived in Seattle. She has watched him and Candy grow into a very loving couple, even if they do have some heated arguments at times.

"I think they'll try talking me out of it, but I have to do this. Not only for myself, but for them too. They're wearing themselves out taking care of me. They never smile and have fun anymore. I'm not going to be the cause of their unhappiness. I just need to get out of everyone's way."

"What exactly do you want me to do?"

"Would you, um, contact the home and see when I can move in? I won't leave until I know Candy is better. And I have to have some time to talk to them about this. I dread telling them, especially telling Candy." He pauses and swipes his hair from his eyes. "But she deserves a better life than what I can give her. Eventually, she'll see I'm right."

"All right Jeremy, if this is what you really want to do, I'll send a wire and see what I can find out. I'll let you know as soon as I hear anything." She rises from her chair and walks around her desk to give Jeremy a hug.

"Uh, would you please tell Ben not to say anything about this to anyone? I know he wouldn't say anything intentionally, but I don't want him to let it slip. And, would you not say anything either."

"I'll tell him and I promise not to say anything either."

"Thanks Allyn, for everything. I think I'll go see Candy again before I go home. I'll be back in the morning, but if she should wake up, would you tell her I love her and I'll see her first thing tomorrow morning?" Jeremy turns his chair around and wheels himself slowly down the hall to see the love of his life.

Allyn stands in the hallway shaking her head. "Good luck Jeremy, you're going to need it when you tell them," she whispers.