AN: ahhhhh yes... soooooo, guess who might have had covid? lmaooooo, i will never know tho. By the time i recovered, my bro got sick and he tested positive. He was the last in our fam to get sick and of course when i tested, i was negative *shrugs* i probably had it (and am still recovering from coughs btw) sooooooo :V


Ch 18: Not a dream.

Taking in the first breath of the morning air, Asami felt light. She slowly peeled open her eyes and after a second of adjusting to the light, they immediately focused on a familiar silhouette. One she would recognize even if it was a needle in a haystack. Albeit, Korra was facing away from her direction but nonetheless, Asami's face softened. She couldn't help but smile warmly. Her hand followed in her lead but it was as if she was afraid of poking a nest of bees, hovering her fingers over Korra's shoulder.

"..."

A few seconds passed and after a small debate, she decided to carry on with her movements and gently slid her finger across her shoulder, up to the nape of her neck. She then carefully props herself onto her elbow to get a better view of her. Once situated, she swiftly yet carefully leaned down to kiss her skin. As she slowly pressed her lips upwards, she made her way up to Korra's cheek. Smiling sweetly once again, Asami gave her a chaste kiss before settling back down and admiring the view.

Korra was still sound asleep and as Asami took in her every detail, she remembered a little fact that amused her. Korra really did look like a princess sleeping like this. Her eyes immediately fell back down to her body. She engraved her bare back in memory. From the small imperfections on her skin to the small scars here and there and especially the tattoos scattered across her body. Having missed her initial chance to bask in the aftermath of sex several months ago, Asami made sure to remember every last detail this time around. She always enjoyed a good cuddle session after making love and she was going to make sure to indulge in it.

At least… if Korra would let her.

Alone with her thoughts, Asami couldn't help but space out as she admired Korra. One second, she was enjoying her life to the fullest, the next, a shudder went down her spine. If her father had gone through with his plans then… this, this would have never happened. Insecurity shook Asami and her hand started shaking unintentionally. There was this sudden flash of anxiety and her lips began to quiver. She had a hard time breathing and a cold sweat began draining her body. It wasn't until Korra let out a soft grunt that snapped her out of her funk.

Moving around ever so slightly in bed, Korra grumbles before opening her eyes. Once she takes in her surroundings, she froze as if she was taking in reality. Sure enough, she turns slowly to come face to face with Asami. Her eyes widened once she made eye contact and her mouth parted to say something but nothing came out. Instead, she bit down softly before looking at Asami with a complex expression. There was then this awkward tension between them but Asami forced herself to find courage and break the tension.

"You don't have to say anything Korra."

She didn't know where that came from nor what she was planning to say.

"Just… Can you tell me this, do you regret not pushing me away?"

Korra's face widened in shock. She was surprised by how desperate and sad Asami sounded. Why did she have to look so torn and defeated as if she was the one who… Korra's chest ached. With every fiber in her being, she didn't want Asami to be sad. She didn't want to cause her pain or hurt her any more. She just…

"I… I can't give you an answer Asami… at least now."

Asami's eyes narrowed in defeat. "To…?"

Korra bit her inner cheek. "To… To us…"

Silence fell between them again. However, before it grew too unbearable, Asami got out of bed and headed for the shower room. By the time she gathered her clothes and was in front of the door with the intent to leave, Korra interrupted her.

"I… I didn't regret it Asami… I didn't…"

Asami turns her head to face Korra but pauses short to not come face to face. After a second of thinking, she made up her mind. She took a deep breath before speaking up firmly.

"I'm tired of crying Korra…" she confesses out of the blue. "I'm sick of being a victim. I've cried enough. I don't want to be helpless and weak. I want to move on, forget about the mess that happened because nothing I do will ever change the fact about what happened."

She sighs tiredly before cupping her face.

"If I let myself think about what happened, I relive the horror and pain I felt. I don't want to relive that. I already lost my mother and I don't want to go through that pain again because, that very same day… I lost my father too. However, I will keep fighting to protect what I can hold on to. My brothers and… you. I won't be trapped by the past so what about you Korra?"

She pauses before finally looking Korra in the eyes.

"What will you choose? Will you be trapped forever or will you fight to break free? If you let me in, I can help you. I can be there for you… be there with you. For all it's worth, if I am allowed to give you any advice… as your friend… as someone who loves you, you have to talk to her Korra. You have to."

She then takes a step through the before giving her last words.

"I'll leave after writing down her contact info on a piece of paper. It'll be up to you if you want a chance to break free and… if you need me, I'll be there for you in a heartbeat."

She shut the door after that.

xXx

Splashing her face with cold water, Asami took a deep breath before mindlessly watching the water run down the drain. Something about the swirling stream made her feel lost. It was as if something was pulling her in, trapping her in some sort of dark abyss. She looked up to face her reflection and there she saw a ghost.

A ghost that looked like her.

Water dripped down her face and she watched as her face warped into something unrecognizable. Her jaw tensed and for some reason, hate was beginning to bubble within the depths of her stomach. Her fist clenched tightly and she wanted to scream. She wanted to shout and break that mirror.

Why did she have to resemble him the slightest bit?

Wasn't it obvious since they were related?

Why? Why. Why why why WHY!

She brings her fist back and just as she was about to smash that stupid contorted face, she deflated. She carefully looked at that face again. One that was afraid. Frightened about what was to come. The adrenaline in her veins were finally settling and her hand quivered at the state of her pathetic nature. She clenched her fist in and out before turning on the faucet and splashing her face once again. Gritting her teeth in agony, she cupped her face.

"Anyone is fine…"

She slowly fell down to the floor.

"Don't leave me alone… I can't do this alone."

Clutching her hair in distress, Asami willed herself not to cry. If she did, it would mean losing to herself. Whatever pride she had would never make a comeback and that was the one thing she promised herself to not forsake. Her mom always raised her to become someone proud. Someone who could keep their head upright and not lie to themself even if that meant lying to others.

"Damn it… damn it…damn it damn it, DAMN IT." Asami yells at the top of her voice.

She was winded in a burst of rage and her trembling wouldn't stop.

"I told you to not be weak. I told you it's okay. I told you he can't hurt you anymore!"

Panting for breath, Asami almost choked on her own words.

"I told you he's gone! He can't hurt you anymore. He's—" she cups her mouth to suppress the vomit threatening to seep out. After a moment of collecting herself, she weakly choked out as she trembled pitifully. "He's gone…"

Asami raised her fist and weakly banged the counter.

"He's gone… he's gone. He's gone! He left me! How could he…" her shaking made it hard to stand back up. "Someone… anyone… please… don't leave me. Don't leave me alone…"

Her eyes hurt from her inability to cry. It was as if someone gouged them out yet her sight mysteriously remained. She would forever have to look at the ghost inside her. The monster that lingered in her DNA. There was no escaping it no matter how much she wanted to deny it. Her body screamed in the agony caused by the tightness from her congested body and her chest was heavy. She never felt this isolated in her life before. The eerie silence about an unclear future was far worse than the tension caused by the unknown.

A chime from her phone finally breaks the frigid silence.

Asami gasped for air before recognizing the cold sweat that drenched her clothes. Her phone quickly dings again and she finally looks in that direction. Her world suddenly brightened up and she breathed a couple of breaths before using the sink's countertop to help herself up. She didn't bother to look at the messy state she was in the mirror before making her way over to her phone. By the time she picked it up and read the message, she felt a sense of normalcy wash over her.

She remembered she was human again.

Ocean Eyes (10:03): Asami, I need you…

Ocean Eyes (10:03): please…

Ocean Eyes (10:03): I want to be free

Ocean Eyes (10:03): I'm tired of being trapped

Images of Korra's deep blue eyes washed away Asami's anxiety. Her chest was no longer as heavy as before and she could feel warmth returning to the tip of her fingers. She didn't know why Korra had this effect on her but it did. How pathetic and funny it was… She didn't have to understand it to know. She needed Korra more than she would ever know.

Without a second of hesitation, Asami sent her a response.

I'll be there.

xXx

Asami had purposely dressed in her finest clothes. As they were meeting up at a luxurious restaurant, she wore the most expensive attire she owned, namely all branded clothing straight off a high-end-fashion catalog. The only reason why she chose to flaunt her wealth like this was simple. She needed to flaunt her wealth to Naeun to show that she was more successful than her. Shallow or not, her presence and intimidation was all she could offer.

When it came down to it, money was power and money she had despite her company's current situation. That was the only card left in her possession that she could possibly rely on. It may have been petty but it was truly the only thing she had to offer. Albeit, she did give her best words of encouragement before pushing Korra into the lion's den.

There was little she could do and she knew that this was Korra's battle so she opted to watch her from afar. She was patiently seated a few tables away, giving them their privacy but still close enough to observe Korra. If Korra showed any sort of sign of help, Asami would make her move in a heartbeat.

Tapping the table impatiently, Asami recrossed her legs again. They have been talking for fifteen long minutes already and from the looks of it, confessions were being made. It was a shame Asami couldn't make out the conversation. If only she could then she'd be able to plan out the perfect murd—

"S-Sorry for the intrusion M-Miss Sato… i-is your meal alright? You haven't touched it since— heee!" The waitress ends up squealing in fear while twitching in place.

Asami's glare was sharp and it probably looked like she was out for blood. After all, she was putting in little to no effort whatsoever in controlling her facial expression. "Everything is perfect, thank you."

"O-O-O-Of c-c-c-course Miss Sato! L-Let us know if you need something!"

With the wave of her hand, Asami dismissed the waitress before looking back at the two of them. She was growing impatient by the second and she was vaguely aware that staring Naeun down with daggers wasn't going to change anything. Sighing out loud, she finally looked down at her food. She ends up picking up the fork and knife before mindlessly cutting off a piece and stabbing the steak. The poor piece of meat gets impaled more aggressively than needed before she stuffs it in her mouth. It wasn't exactly delicious per se but Asami knew it was because of her mood. Under normal circumstances, she would've most definitely brought Korra here on date.

A 'date' huh…?

How familiar yet foreign that word sounded.

Setting down her utensils, Asami picked up the glass of wine. She swirled around the content before drinking the entirety of the glass. After she set it down, she continued to eat her cold steak. Signing to herself, she looked up to check on Korra again before back down at her plate.

"This is insufferable."

xXx

Asami wasn't sure how much time had passed but in the blink of an eye, Korra was walking up to her table. She honestly perked up quicker than she would like to admit. Standing up from her seat, Asami made eye contact with Naeun. They exchanged this tense look and after a second of staring each other down, Naeun bows politely before exiting the restaurant. Left with unknown details, Asami switches her attention back to Korra. Once she was close enough, she reached out to grab Korra's forearm.

"How was it…? Are you okay?"

"I…" Korra had this bashful look on her face as she looked off to the side. "Honestly… that went better than I thought."

A hum was the only noise that escaped Asami's lips.

"Can we… uh…" Korra rubs her cheek before taking a peek around the dining area. "Talk for a bit?"

Asami's face finally softened up for the first time after setting foot into this establishment. "Sure, of course."

They take a seat at Asami's table to which the waitress quickly gathers the unused cutlery and plates before leaving behind two glasses of wine and a bottle. She offered to pour their drinks but Asami respectfully declined before grabbing the bottle and pouring them both a glass of wine. There was silence but, unlike before, it felt different. Asami wasn't able to name it but she knew and felt this shift inside of Korra.

The only question was… how did she change?

"So…" Asami found herself starting, "What did you say…?"

Korra looked up to face her before smiling lightly and picked up the glass. "Well… I basically told her that she hurt me…"

Asami took her glass as well and took a sip before humming for her to continue.

"And how much it affected me… that I couldn't date anyone properly because of what she did."

Nodding in understanding, Asami waited patiently for Korra to continue. Soon enough after she collected her thoughts, she began talking again.

"It was a long talk of course but basically she said something along the lines that she had no idea and that she was truly sorry. She didn't mean to give me the wrong impression of our relationship back then…"

Pursing her lips slightly, Asami continued on carefully. "And… how do you feel?"

"I…" Korra twiddles with her fingers before looking into Asami's eyes dearly. "Actually feel ten times better… you know I never really did blame her for my trauma but something about hearing her apologize makes me feel… lighter? I don't know how to explain it but it's as if some weight has been lifted off my shoulders?"

Asami smiles sweetly before reaching out to grab Korra's hand. Once her hand is on top of Korra's, she gives her a warm squeeze before earnestly saying:

"I'm happy for you Korra." This is goodbye.

Korra gives her a lopsided grin which she hadn't seen in decades. "Thank you, really. I'm glad you encouraged me to talk to her, I—" she pauses before thinking thoughtfully. Sure enough, she comes to a conclusion before looking her in the eyes to confess. "I finally feel some sort of closure."

Asami raised her glass to cheers. She gives Korra this proud look, "Cheers to a new beginning?"

Hesitating slightly, Korra held her glass for a second before deciding to give in and clink her glass. "Cheers."

Once they've both taken a sip, another silence falls between them; however this time was different. They both seemed to be enjoying each other's presence as if they were finally taking a real break after all that has happened. No immediate pressure to crush or drone on them. Time wasn't a concern and they didn't have to face their fears or fight a battle.

Just breathing and being alive was enough.

When they finally left the restaurant and went back to their rooms, Asami was the first to say her goodbye. "Good night Korra, I'll see you tomorrow." She unlocks and pushes the door open before being stopped by Korra.

"W-Wait! Asami I um… I have something to say…"

Asami stops in place looking at her slightly. "Yes Korra? What's wrong?"

Korra's mouth parted and she looked nervous for some reason. Asami couldn't quite think of a reason as to why she stopped her but waited patiently nonetheless. It wasn't until after a second that Korra finally had the courage to voice her words.

"I… I'm not quite ready for something… so serious but… I'm willing to give us… a try…" her voice shrunk towards the end and Asami almost missed it.

Asami ended up responding automatically. "I'm sorry?" Did I hear that right? She turns to face her.

Meanwhile, Korra started squirming in place before bashfully repeating herself. "I said that I um… willing to give us a chance if that's… okay with you?" She finally spared Asami a glance to which Asami's face widened.

Ah… With her lips parting slightly, Asami noticed Korra's shy body language. This was it. The moment she had been imagining and dreaming about ever since she realized her feelings for Korra. Her hand ended up moving upward by reflex. She pinched her cheek before letting out a quiet, "Ow."

Rubbing her cheek tenderly, Asami blinks a few times about before mumbling, "It's… not a dream?"

It seemed like Korra heard her because she spoke up again. "It's… not a dream Asami. I… I thought about it a lot. About what you said." She then walks over to Asami's side and once she was close enough, she nervously tugged at her sleeve. "And then after my conversation with Naeun… I came to a decision. One that I'm scared of…"

Asami's eyes narrow slightly at Korra's statement. As much as she was thrilled by the thought, she didn't want to coerce her. "Korra I…"

Korra continued before Asami could speak her words. "One that I've dreamed of… One that I don't want to be a dream." She let her words sink in and once she knew that Asami was certain she understood her words, she repeated herself. "I… Asami, if you're willing to forgive me and my helpless self… will… will you do me the honors of being my— " she hesitated again before finding some courage to break free from her shell. "My girlfriend? I may be awkward at first but…"

Asami's brain shut down as Korra began rambling. She had to have heard wrong. Right? Since when did she ever have such good luck in her life? Oh, right. When Korra walked into her life.

"I— Korra I—" Recovering from her initial shock, Asami started functioning again. "Yes!" Her eyes were beaming with joy now. "Yes! Yes yes yes! I'll be your girlfriend!"

Her body finally reacted and she was quick to hug Korra. That surprised Korra at first but she was quick to hug back. There was something about the intimacy of a hug that made everything feel so right. However, as fast as the urge and high came, Asami was quick to pull away. She didn't want to scare off Korra and with her tendencies, she just might.

"S-Sorry! I got carried away." She takes a step back before awkwardly rubbing her cheek.

Korra seemed a little disappointed by the loss but it was probably Asami's imagination.

"No it's okay! I um… I'm excited too. A little scared but very excited."

"Me too!" Asami squeaks out a little more excited than intended. She blushes somewhat before groaning quietly. There was this short lived awkwardness which Asami could no longer bear before excusing herself. "A-Anyways! It's getting late and uh… g-good night Korra. I'll um, see you tomorrow?"

Korra gives her a sleazy grin, "Y-Yeah, good night Asami…"

They stare at each other for another hot moment before they both leaned forward for a hug. Of course, they ended up heading in the same direction and bumped each other with a shy giggle. They try again and end up mirroring each other yet again.

"..."

Asami's brow twitched and she was getting more red by the second. Clearing her throat, she saved them both from further awkwardness and embarrassment. Grabbing a hold of Korra's arms, she pulled her in for a warm hug.

"Good night again."

"Night."

They pulled back and Asami looked her in the eyes with a bashful look before quickly leaning in to kiss Korra's cheek. Korra immediately blushes at that and Asami was no different. Her ears were burning and she had a hard time keeping eye contact with Korra from how cute she was. She snaps away in the blink of an eye to save herself from having a heart attack.

"Night Korra!" Asami whips around to push her door open before running into it head on with a loud smack. "OW— fuck!"

Korra snorted at that before covering her mouth to suppress her giggle.

Asami felt her face burn at her clumsiness and she quickly unlocked the stupid door before, finally, getting inside and closing it shut. She immediately cups her face to hide her embarrassment but mostly her childish smile. One second later, she pinched herself again to confirm the pain before silently squealing out loud. She was quick to jump up in bliss before running over to her bed and jumping onto the mattress. Her heart was thumping loudly and her big grin never left her face.

"Oh my spirits… Korra asked me out… she asked me out!" Grabbing her pillow, she covers her face before screaming into it. Her body naturally cheered and her legs were kicking around excitedly. By the time she cools down, her heart must've been running a marathon before she could hear it pounding like no other.

"It's not a dream…"

Repeating those words again and again, Asami took multiple deep breaths. Once her heart had calmed down somewhat, she was on cloud nine. Her heart was pumping and no matter how much she tried, she couldn't wipe the smile off her face. In fact, hours had passed and she couldn't fall asleep. Adrenaline was kicking and she was far too happy to let the night end just like that, rendering her wide awake. Stuck in her own little world, she was certain that she wasn't getting any sleep that night and she may or may not have regretted that the next day.

What's more embarrassing was that Korra had definitely noticed the next day. Asami had no clue about that of course and thought she had played it off cool… at least until she saw her reflection in the mirror after they parted ways. Her eyes were bloodshot. She made sure to force herself to go to bed early after that.

Then, in the blink of an eye, the few days they had left in the Fire Nation slipped through Asami's hand like quicksand and before she knew it, they were on their way back to Republic City. And… for some reason, Asami felt like a new person. She actually felt good for once.


AN: Ah but yes, tis fanime this week! :3 I've blown thru like $400 already and we'll see how bad the damage is by the end

With that said, sorrehhh, my low key mini vacation so i wont be postin tomorrow