Disclaimer: This fanfiction is mostly for shits and giggles and for some wild fun for the writers and readers. If you're expecting an authentic and vanilla Re:Zero fanfiction, I suggest reading my original Re:Zero fanfiction Ram:IF or Ram:IF Redux (Shameless plug I know.).
Now a little bit about how this story goes, each chapter will be split into parts depending on how long they'll be. I can already say that chapter one of this crazy story is going to be very long. I'll evenly divide the chapters into parts depending on the part the chapter is covering, and the length.
Finally, more characters from different series from everywhere will be added (Don't worry, they'll be from mostly popular titles). I will also be adding more characters to the cover image of the story as I put out more chapters.
And with that, sit back, relax, and enjoy the best worst Re:Zero crossover fic. Cheers,
DACHero and co.
Thumps repeat, again and again. He yawns as he catches the ball in his hand, only to throw it back at the wall once more. Staring out the window, he watches the sunset go down, giving the mansion's garden a calming orange glow.
Knock knock
Hearing the sound of his door being knocked, he tilts his head up to look at the upside-down door.
"Come in!" he shouts.
The doorknob turns, slowly opening to reveal a blue-haired maid peeking in the room.
"Enjoying the sunset, Subaru-kun?" She asks, giving a small smile.
"Yeah! It's really calming." He responds, rubbing his eyes.
"Why am I so tired? Guess I should take a nap…"
"Hey Rem… I'm pretty tired, I think I'm gonna take a nap. Say goodnight to the others for me if I don't attend dinner."
Subaru gets up from his chair, not hesitating to throw himself onto the big fluffy bed he had occupied over the past few days.
With another yawn, Subaru rolls over to face Rem, who is still standing at the door.
"Well, goodnight Rem…" His words become slurred as he begins to let the drowsiness sink him into unconsciousness.
"S-Subaru-kun!" Rem quietly exclaims.
"..-Huh? What is it?" Subaru mutters, his eyelids hanging low.
"May Rem accompany you after her duties?"
Although Subaru would be flushed at this statement, he had already been half asleep when she asked for this.
"Sure thing…" Subaru replied, pushing his face more into the soft pillows on his bed.
With the ease and relaxation of drowsiness overtaking him, his vision becomes black.
Subaru opens his eyes to see the ghoulish blue the moon gave through the window. One that he was much familiar with through his previous loops.
However, this was not the reason Subaru woke up.
Feeling something keeping him in his position, he looks down to see arms wrapped around him, along with a head of blue hair. "Rem…" He whispers to himself.
He slowly slips out of her embrace, tip-toeing across the dimly lit room. Approaching the window, he looks down to the courtyard with the fountain in the middle. The rumbling of carriages became distant as he saw them begin to circle the roundabout and travel down the path exiting the Mathers' domain.
"W-wait where are they going?" Subaru looked back at Rem, unknowing of what to do. Emilia was gone, he doesn't even know for how long she'll be gone.
"... Or if she'll even be back anytime soon…"
Subaru's eyes widened with this thought. He quickly walked toward the door, opening it gently to not wake Rem. Once in the hallway, he began making a dash down the corridor. Going to the eastern staircase, he practically jumps down the pairs of steps.
Once reaching the bottom, he is met with the large lobby with the door that leads to the courtyard. Throwing his hand on the knob, he throws the door open and runs outside, meeting the chilly night.
Panting at a loss of breath, Subaru looks up into the forest the path leads down. "Shoot… They're already gone…"
He grabs his knees, looking down at the concrete ground he stood on. "M-maybe Rem knows where they went? She has to!" He attempts to reassure himself as he rubs his eyes. Looking back up at the forest, he noticed something odd.
A pair of yellow-ish white lights.
Standing back upright, he stares at the lights in the distance. He notices them approaching closer and closer to the mansion. "Those look like headlights. But, there aren't any cars-"
The lights emerged from the dark forest, revealing the source of them. A large oldschool RV was going full speed straight toward the mansion.
"Wh- what the fuck?!" Subaru takes a step back. "Am I dreaming?! I have to be, there's no way!"
The tires screech, attempting to steer away from its one-way crash toward the large fountain that occupied the roundabout. The momentum the RV carried caused tire marks to trace over the concrete and finely trimmed grass.
The RV itself hadn't slowed down one bit, however, and collided with the staircase of the mansion. Thankfully, the crash did not seem too fatal for whoever was inside. The staircase of the mansion suffered crumbling and cracks.
Subaru, standing near the fountain and only a couple of meters away from the RV, was left bewildered at the scene that had just unfolded before him. The scent of burnt rubber infiltrated the air. Smoke emitting from the RV and its traces fogged the area. "Yeah, this is as real as it'll get."
"..."
After a moment of waiting, he crossed his arms. "Should I go look to see if they're okay?" Staring at the door of the RV, he noticed something odd. "Are those bullet holes?" Bizarre, of course.
"Hey… This seems to be a pretty big red flag. What if they're dangerous?" Subaru began to ramble his thoughts, still stumped on what he should do next. Suddenly, the door of the RV swung open with a loud creaking noise.
Out stepped a man, wearing nothing but a green button-up shirt, and a pair of white underpants.
"Wh-who could this be?" Subaru stood, looking like a deer in headlights. The man that stepped out returned his stare in bewilderment. Neither of them said a word, they only shared shocked faces.
"U-uhm…" Subaru's attempt to break the silence miserably failed. The man hadn't said a word, still showing a startled face.
After yet another moment of silence transpired between the two. Suddenly, the man reached into the breast pocket of his button-up shirt. He pulled out a black flip-phone; one that looked similar to Subaru's. After opening it and pushing a few buttons, he looks back up to Subaru with a worried look.
"No service?" he spoke. Almost immediately after he said that, a sound rang from the mansion. A sound that Subaru was very familiar with.
The sound of chains.
"Shit! Run!" Subaru yelled, running the direction opposite of the mansion. The man, after taking a quick look around him, ran back inside the RV.
"What are you doing!?" Subaru yelled in confusion. The man didn't respond, only to bring back another man in his arms, along with the handle of a pistol sticking out of his underpants.
Running as fast as he possibly could toward Subaru, the crushing of metal blasted through the courtyard. Subaru dived to take cover behind the fountain, the man following behind him. Gently placing down the person he held in his arms, he removed the gas mask that the person wore and began slapping them on the face.
"Jesse! Wake up!" He yelled, looking down at him with panic. Slowly, the person began to open their eyes. He looked around with his eyelids hanging low. "Where the hell are we Mr. White?" he said.
The person, supposedly named Jesse, knew who this man, Mr. White, was.
"I have no idea." Mr. White replied to Jesse.
"Wow. Great. Firstly you kill two Mexicans that tried to kill us of our recipe, then you drive us to the middle of fuck-knows-where." Jesse gave off a very hip attitude to Subaru, who only stood observing the interaction.
Mr. White pulled out the pistol sticking out of his underpants, taking aim toward the RV that he assumed was hit. Focusing the best he could on the RV, he saw a large ball with a spike sticking out of the windshield. The ball was black with a dark-pink design on it.
As soon as he noticed it, the ball retreated in the blink of an eye, leaving shattered pieces of glass all over the concrete ground.
"What the hell is that?!" Mr. White exclaimed in fear.
"Don't worry, I'll go calm her down!" Subaru said, quickly getting up and running toward the scene.
"Are you trying to get yourself killed?!" Subaru could only hear him screaming questions in the background as he runs up to the mess Rem caused.
"Rem! Calm d-" Mid shout, A glow of pink when flying in the air, along with her morning star. The spiked sphere plummeted down toward the courtyard's fountain, causing a large crash and explosion of concrete debris to go flying.
"R-Rem stop! They're our friends!" Subaru shouted once again.
After the debris and smoke cleared up, Rem was seen standing in the middle of the crater she made. She stared straight at Mr. White and Jesse, who thankfully remained unscathed after the sudden outburst.
Rem turned her head back to Subaru, exposing her glowing pink horn on her forehead. She wore an expression similar to what he had seen when him and Ram teamed up against her, one full of instinctual rage.
Getting a look past her. Jesse was turned to face Mr. White, who was holding his pistol aiming right at her.
"Shit! Gotta redirect this!" Subaru thought in a rush.
"Mr. White! Aim at her horn!" Subaru shouts. Rem immediately turned her head and prepared her next swing, expectant on what's to come.
"Shit! Mistah Whi-" Jesse began to quickly back up with his hands in the air.
"I CAN RETURN BY DE-"
Subaru's shout caused everything and everyone around him to freeze. The ghoulish purple hand, belonging to his Return by Death power, reached out and grazed his heart. He felt cold. "I can cope with this" Subaru thought.
As time slowly began to move again, Rem cried out a battle cry.
Bang
With that, a bullet traveled directly from Mr. White's pistol, to the glowing horn on Rem's forehead.
Subaru's Benadryl World
