The train rattled through the dark night coated with fallout from the Colossal Titans, and its destination was in question, something only the Marleyan military would be able to answer once they gathered enough intel. The air was too cold for springtime otherwise. The scent of death and corpses kilometers away perforated through the cracks in the train cars. All initial celebrations of survival had since faded away. Eren almost flattened the entire world, and any answer for what the next day would bring was up in the air. This was the new world they had to live in, if they were going to survive at all.
Nobody had anything to comment on the situation out of pure exhaustion and shock. Other than whoever managed to rebel against the Marleyan guards in Liberio and the remnants of Marley's military, the only other known survivors at the moment were the members of the Alliance, though even that fact was in jeopardy. Onyonkopon had a concussion and broken arm, but the Survey Corps' Captain Levi Ackerman was in dire condition and would likely die if they didn't stop soon. These two were being tended to in a separate train car with Commander Armin Arlert overseeing. Connie and Jean, already distressed by the unknown whereabouts of Mikasa, begged to be let in with them, but the brass wasn't having it, not wanting to have too many island Eldians in one place. They were still going to be scrutinized in the coming days for their involvement in the Rumbling and their role in stopping it, scrubbed and pierced in an effort to make it make sense.
Those two huddled in a corner, sleeping under the warmth of a shared blanket from the emergency supplies from the fort. Pieck and Annie, likewise, joined them oppositely. That left Reiner with Gabi and Falco on their own end of the car. What bastards, not allowing the youngest of their little alliance to be reunited with their parents for long, Reiner thought. They too were to be interrogated- especially Falco, who was a Titan Shifter by complete mishap. He'd have to ask later for more details. Something about wine and Zeke- that fucker. He shuddered at the memory of his betrayal. He'd saved them all so many times when they were in distress on their first mission only to get several comrades killed.
Marco screamed, his flesh being torn apart.
They had to continue their mission no matter the cost.
Gabi snuggled to his right, unaware her cousin was awake in somber thoughts. Oh, how close he had been to giving her the Armored Titan back there. She claimed she didn't remember anything about turning into a Titan with their family. It was for the best, really. She never deserved to be subjected to any sick state ritual as he had, but then again, whatever that centipede was, the world was too much of a cruel joke already.
But they would never turn into Titans again thanks to Mikasa, right? That is what Eren said in that place. His piercing green eyes glowing with rage, his will too strong to be contained. It all went how he wanted going forward, dragging the rest of them with him.
And how would he explain this to his aunts and uncles, and his mother? She was overjoyed he was alive and well, disregarding his powers having disappeared. And for the first time since he was a little boy, she embraced him. She really embraced him as her son, a person, not her revenge incarnate. It made him tear up to think about it. Then again, with everybody turned sorrowful and horrified at the landscape and atmosphere, it could have just been an act out of shock that would wear down by the time- if- he would see her again.
The biggest issue outside of overall survival and resources, however, would be breaking them out of the lies. The Tyburs had lied, the royal bloods had lied, Zeke had lied, Marley had lied. Reiner had lied. Too many goddamn lies just to keep them all penned up. Reiner had seen it before his family had, along with Gabi. Just how would they wake up the next morning and… live? And if there wouldn't be one? Things had changed instantly.
But you saved them from the threat of the Colossals. You helped save everybody.
No, not this shit. Not now.
Falco stirred to Reiner's left, snapping him out of it. He'd fought enough too. He kept his little secretive promise to him to save Gabi, Honorary Marleyan or not. The train rattled. He cursed, praying to whatever there was that there wouldn't be corpses piled on the train tracks, human or animal.
Reiner tucked him under a corner of the blanket Gabi started pulling away. Most kids hadn't been able to control their Titans with such dexterity on the second try. It took Reiner weeks to do it when he was a little younger than him. It had upset him when his transformation only worked partially the first time he tried, upsetting some Marleyan brass who started to grill him to ask if he was truly loyal to Marley and atoning his sins. He never wanted to disappoint them, lest his mother he promised a better life as an Honorary citizen found out her son was too weak to fight.
What made Falco any different? He wanted to prove himself for his family's continued survival and make up the loyalty for a relative's betrayal to Marley years back just like his brother Colt. Then came the competition. Add in the girl he wanted to save from being a Titan, and he was on the way to be the best Eldian in the world ever even if his marks didn't agree with that. But everybody had childish dreams at some point.
What cruel happenstance that he only resuscitated from mindlessness because of the Jaw Titan undeservedly sacrificing himself instead of Reiner himself. It was supposed to be him, the loyalist and the lucky one the first time around to give Gabi something to have a happy life.
Marcel's bones crunched as his blood curdling screams faded into a void. All three of them ran ahead without looking back. If it wasn't for him….
What a coward. What a wonderful protector he had been, nearly letting another kid die for him and his family. As a result, Colt got to die for his unforgivable sins when Falco was faultlessly punished while he watched on, unable to keep Eren under control.
"Reiner?" a soft feminine voice piped up. "Are you still awake?"
Pieck untangled herself from the blanket without waking Annie and crawled over toward Reiner and the children. Her dark hair was a knotty mess, although nobody cared for vanities and appearances right now. She sat on her knees.
"Can't. Trying to figure out how to protect them all if we get off this train. You too?"
Pieck nodded. "Just try not to lose a limb or your head doing it. A bullet can really kill us now whether we want to live or not."
Right, they had no powers inside. Did he want to live on? He still remembered that cold metal barrel on his tongue begging him to pull the trigger. He looked at the sleeping children.
"Of course."
Pieck blinked her doe-like eyes. "I have a few sergeants I have my eyes on from back at the fort. I watched their body language when they escorted us all onto the train as I made eye contact with them. They're still uncomfortable with us Marleyan Eldians. I shouldn't be surprised considering how they didn't hesitate to push Jean and Connie away, but..." She breathed out long. "Eldians can't become Titans anymore. It's unnatural to say this. It feels like part of us is gone. What are we going to do with this information? And everybody else?"
"Just take a look outside, and if anybody is still alive, they'll still think that we're cursed by a devil," Reiner replied caustically. "They can inject our veins with all the serum left, and they still won't believe we're humans."
"I know. But as long as some of us are alive and try something, maybe our comrades will have some peace." She ruffled Falco's hair lightly as her face drooped in sorrow. "He did care about them too even if he didn't show it often."
Galliard. None of what that bastard had said about him was wrong.
"They're dead, Pieck. They don't have any future or need for it where they are."
"You think it's too childish to believe they're alive somewhere when we carried the memories of our predecessors with us for years?"
"I don't feel like talking about this right now." How could she be so unnerving to try her sweet charm when they were discussing life or death matters for their people? "We'll have to see if we can hold a briefing with Commander Arlert and Muller. We can't let an islander do all the talking for us."
"They just want him because he is the one who did the 'final blow' to Eren, wasn't he?"
"The 'good island devil Eldian'. And we have to play along with it. Arlert isn't an idiot and isn't easy to break, but he's not well-versed in global military organizations and their tactics. Not like I can protect him when someone raises their hand to slap him, and Ackerman isn't here either. What the hell happened to Mikasa, anyways? If she stayed behind, she'd send Marley's military scrambling and pleading for our protection."
Pieck shrugged. "The other Ackerman's condition has worsened since that thing died. There's no saying if she'll be able to survive out there in her current state." Pieck sniffled and trembled. "Oh, Reiner. My dad. What if he doesn't either? He's in such frail health I'm shocked he's lived so far."
He had no idea what to say that would calm her without being a gross liar to himself. She tucked herself up by Gabi to warm her but did not fall back asleep.
The train roared on in the eerie nocturnal landscape, the only sound for kilometers around save for some birds high above their carnage feast. Hell for the people, heaven for the birds.
The fort was too calamitous for Reiner to take a headcount of who was there and who he could recognize. Neither of Zeke's grandparents nor the Galliard parents were present. Dead? In another place of refuge? How deep were the underground bunkers at a nearby base to Liberio? Judging by the Colossal Titans' footprints, not enough.
Why did he bother to care about his comrades' families? Not like he would have been able to explain to the Galliard's that he was only chosen instead of their second son because their first son cared too much about him. If only Marcel wasn't a worrywart, more benefits and blessings to boast about.
And the Jaeger's? Was their family particularly cursed by Ymir to wreak havoc, to ruin the world? Three devils, an unholy pantheon of them out for blood and conquest. His Uncle Giuseppe, Gabi's father, loved collecting brochures from seminars hosted by Marley's academia in lectures to the poor uneducated devils about that shit based on those old Ymir cults, the different ranks of Titans in the cults, which ones were the most sinful, which ones the messengers. Marley's propagandists surely would be having a field day mythologizing this for public readership!
If there were any left.
Getting a grip, Reiner checked on the children and Pieck. Pieck didn't notice him as she was out of it, but Gabi and Falco slept undisturbed. At least Gabi still had him here as family if something happened to her parents.
Falco didn't.
He had kept quiet about the whole ordeal back in Shiganshina, likely in shock and due to memory loss that came with the transfer of the Jaw Titan. Reiner knew what that was like, just having to brush it off knowing that there was a war going on, and that if you let your emotions get in the way, you'll be the next target with a bullet through the brain or with your intestines scattered by a mine.
Yet this kid couldn't hold back forever no matter how a children's book may portray a soldier. And there was another matter.
"Pieck. Pieck!" he whispered snappily to the drowsy woman. "The Grice's. Has anybody told them about… him?"
"Hmm? Oh… I don't think so. I think they'd guessed after seeing we are all that's left of what went to the island from Marley. Unless they think he's being held prisoner," she mulled out.
"Then you'd better hope Arlert won't fuck anything up. If the brass is feeling merciful enough, they'll only slap the Grice's on the hand for their son's failure as a Candidate. Their precious resources turn to ash. My ass wasn't unscathed when I was the only one who came back the first time."
"Maybe they'll review their protocol in light of unexpected changes to a whole race of people. Where do you think they'd send them and Falco without effective Titan serum?"
"A pit with dead and diseased bodies of the starved and invalid since they're not even useful to make new tools for the military. Sure better option now than Paradise."
Pieck looked stung.
"Shit, sorry. Sorry. Can't be too optimistic."
"I didn't sacrifice my lifespan just so I could see my only family left die like a decrepit plow horse, jackass!" Tears fell down her cheeks. "If we don't have anything to look forward to… I won't be able to do this anymore! Please, let me still have trust in my comrades and friends who haven't betrayed us! Please, please," she pleaded to an unknown object or person, trailing off into soft sobs.
Wow. Pieck, who never let her composure break under stress, was the most emotional he had seen her. She hadn't voiced any sentiments on Zeke despite having an aura of suspicion about his chummy and endearing face he put on around her in their cadet days. How fortunate she only got to face ugly deception and betrayal from her friends as an adult, not a scared little kid on a faraway island.
Reiner sighed. He watched Jean and Connie's steady breathing. The friendship they shared back in those training days was legit. The memories weren't tainted by blood and guts painting the streets of Shiganshina or those of Liberio. But real life wasn't purely sentimental. They were going to have to get serious about what Eren had done for them all. Betrayal and lies. Masks. It had a tempting flair to it. They couldn't forget how many lives had been snuffed out. And their grudges were just as real as their friendship. So petty to consider at this moment, but how were they to be judged by the government?
"Mmm, no, go away," a quiet whimper sounded from Reiner's left. Falco flopped over.
"Hey, hush, kid. Go back to sleep." Reiner gently pushed him up. Falco's arms flailed like a little bird trying to flutter the first time.
"Brother… no…. It's not safe here," Falco cried. "I'm going to be a monster."
Oh no. Not this now.
"Pieck, he's having a nightmare about his brother."
Pieck wiped her eyes. "From the battlefield?"
"Shiganshina. What else? Colt couldn't rescue him for once."
The train hit a bump, jolting the slumbering forms. That better not have been-.
"COLT!"
His piercing scream shook the train car more than the debris, startling everybody awake. He wailed in desolation, unaware he was awake in a tightly contained space, as the others gawked in concern. Gabi was the first to jump to his aid, spitting out a million questions as she squeezed his shoulder.
"Falco, calm down! What's wrong? It's okay! Stop crying! We're safe. Reiner, why's he crying?"
Pieck pulled her back. "Give him some space. He's just been hit with the realization about his brother. It's been too much for him, almost dying twice back there." Her eyes glazed over icily as Jean and Connie gazed wordlessly, looking a little pale.
"But he was okay earlier!"
"Dear, grief can come at different times for everybody. And we can mourn in different ways too. Here, you can sit with me."
Falco choked between sobs. He was a pitiful sight to behold, just a little hunched up ball under a blanket. He was no longer a soldier but a child acting how one was supposed to at the horrors of the world.
"Please, just get him to shut up," Annie whined, pulling her hood over her head. "He's not the only kid whose family died this week."
"Annie!" Pieck scolded. Gabi and Reiner scowled.
"Fine, he can cry it off. Just don't let his blubbering get in the way of our rest. Can't be half asleep when Marley starts to prod us for answers."
Jean stood, his tall figure imposing to those seated. "Everyone, shut up!" he exclaimed over the sobbing boy's cries. "We're all tired, we all are upset about our families dying now or back then. Hell, we here don't know what's going to become of our families on Paradis or if they're alive under the rubble or if our captain is going to make it through the night. But please, just take care of the kids for now. They've had it worse than any of us."
"Even worse for them because you tried to sacrifice him for that one Titan in the village, huh? Because Connie wanted to see his mommy so badly again that he'd let a little boy soldier die." Annie retorted. "Gabi told me what happened on the Azumabito's ship. I'm shocked he's not over here trying to kick you until your ribs turn black."
"Hey, I'm sorry!" Connie grunted. "I was wrong! I was an idiot back there!" Gabi's eyes filled with tears. He tucked himself over in shame.
The three of them dished it out screaming about whose fault it was for the poor boy's condition as Pieck and Reiner tried to calm the children. Reiner carefully scooped up Falco onto his lap and cradled him. He didn't try to fight back. He was as limp as a noodle.
"M-mom and d-dad will f-find out. They'll h-hate me," he whimpered, sinking himself into Reiner.
"They won't. None of this is your fault," Reiner tried soothing him.
It wasn't. Falco didn't put himself up to saving Gabi from an oppressive government and a life-draining Titan Shifter and a global genocide to give her a better life. Reiner had. And now, it may not have been enough. They were going to be separated soon.
"Falco, we'll tell them what happened. They won't blame you. They know he loved you very much and you loved him," Pieck reassured. "He died wanting to protect you and save you from the life he was going to live."
"Alright!" Connie screamed.
An eerie silence settled over the trio arguing on the other side of the car. If they were already exhausted, they looked half dead now. Connie reluctantly turned to them.
"Saying I'm sorry won't work, right? I don't know the right words then. It's just… I don't know. I don't want to do that again. Killing people. Attempting to. Either. My mom, if I see her again, will slap me until I can't walk for a week for what I did. That's not what I signed up for." He sighed. "I wish Armin were here with us. He'd know from those memories of his that you guys didn't do that either."
Falco's cries became softer. Bertholdt's last agonizing cries from afar got louder. Marco's blared. Justice was barred.
"That all you got?" Reiner asked. "I have nothing else. We can't quite forgive you either for your transgressions against our comrades, let alone my cousin and her friend. Let's just call it a truce and see what Marley and Arlert want to do with us."
Jean didn't disagree. He settled back with Connie on the cold floor. It would be a miracle if any of them got another wink of sleep that night or day, not that anybody could tell what time it was.
Annie took her blanket and gave it to Reiner to swaddle Falco with. Gabi had fallen asleep next to Pieck who also nodded off to sleep. Annie leaned over.
"Falco, I'm sorry. You've done more than enough." She joined the other girls for warmth and comfort. Better them than him. Reiner didn't blame her for not wanting to sit by him.
Reiner was the only one awake once more in the land of the dead and damned. The corpses' odor outside seemed faint, or maybe his body was at its limit and his senses were dulled. What could possibly be out there for them, he didn't know.
Falco looked like a baby as he dozed off in peace. But what he may have perceived as loving arms belonged to the worst person possible. He couldn't hold such an open and hypocritical grudge against the islanders. Most of the trainees in the Warrior program had families who wanted to have their children promoted so that they could temporarily live nicer lives as Honorary Marleyans with nice little armbands to boast. At least it was kept within their own families. After all, all his mother wanted was to be seen as equal to a Marleyan man, some piece of meat known as his father, for personal revenge, not just to be like any old geezer outside the Interment Zone.
Pushing one into almost dying for another family's kid? Unforgivable.
Poor kid was so meek and naive he'd thought even the nastiest guard was worthy of greeting before daily training. Then his eyes were opened. He'd be weeping for Colt today and blaming himself, and tomorrow? Would he realize just what Reiner had done to him?
No answers. No intel to strategize. Nothing to help comfort a little boy who lost his brother. Only horrid memories in a hot energetic blast of being torn to nothing.
All he could do was be what his friends saw him as and what the next generation of Candidates saw in him. Whether it was a lie or Pieck had some sense about what was after this life.
"Hey," he whispered, holding Falco closer. "Your brother won't ever leave you."
