You stood at the green table, eating the dinner that the duck across from you had prepared just for this special occasion.
Normally, the thought of dating a duck who looks like the personification of the leader of the Third Reich would've weirded you out, but something about this duck stood out to you, something that charmed you to hell and back.
So now you were sitting in his house, eating the Kid Cuisine meal that he had prepared just for you, feeling good about yourself as you reached into your pocket to check if the ring you brought was where you left it.
You let out a silent "eureka" as you felt the wedding ring in your pocket. You continued eating your food until all of the Kid Cuisine had been finished and you let out a hardy burp in satisfaction.
Hitlertheduck smiled at you, knowing that you enjoyed his exquisite creation, before pouring you a tall glass of your favorite adult drink, Caprisun, Strawberry Kiwi flavor.
As you sipped from the glass, you reached into your pocket once again and pulled out your wedding ring.
You then placed the now empty glass of Caprisun on the table, got down on one knee and asked your fluffy haired husbando the big question.
"Hitlertheduck, will you marry me?"
Hitlertheduck squeed in delight at what you had asked him before letting out a "sieg heil!"
You were ecstatic at your new husband's response and you kissed him on the beak to commemorate the day.
...
At the wedding, the priest asked you "now Reader, do you take Hitlertheduck as your lawfully wedded husband?"
You said without hesitation "I sure diddly do"
The priest smiled at that response before turning to Hitler and saying "and you Hitlertheduck, do you take Reader as your lawfully wedded-"
The Priest looked you up and down before finishing his sentence with "-whatever he is"
Hitlertheduck just sighed and said "I'm sorry, but I can't"
Your heart shattered at that statement. You then immediately asked "why not?"
Hitlertheduck then said "because I haven't been entirely honest with you about who I am."
You tearfully asked "who are you really?"
Hitlertheduck said "I'm... I'm"
You asked again "who?"
Hitlertheduck then exploded in a fiery blast, causing you to shut your eyes at all the smoke that erupted from this great explosion.
When you opened your eyes, you gaped in awe. Hitlertheduck wasn't standing in front of you any more, the man who was now standing in front of you, was the mascot of Old Spice, Terry Crews!
Your feeling of awe turned to one of horror as you realized that your whole universe was actually a commercial for Old Spice deodorant and that the very second this man finished advertising the deodorant, your whole existence would come to an end.
Terry Crews held up some Old Spice deodorant and said "OLD SPICE DEODORANT IS SO POWERFUL THAT-"
But you didn't let him finish, you just tackled him right away and began trying to yank away the deodorant.
It was futile though, as Terry Crews just continued his speech with "-IT CAN DESTROY WHOLE FANFICTIONS!"
You felt yourself become lighter and lighter as your whole reality begin to fade away due to the power of deodorant.
Soon, there was nothing left. Nothing, but Terry Crews and his Omniscient Deodorant.
There is no God, there is only Old Spice.
