I don't own Twilight.


It's been days since the visit to the hospital.

Since that day, I avoided everyone, including Hale. Since we finished the art project, I didn't bother him in the slightest. I also noticed him doing the same thing. He kept his distance and waived to me once and a while. I wave back, but I never started a conversation with him.

Maybe he noticed that I wanted to be alone.

As for the friendly neighborhood nympho and mammoth, they didn't keep their distance.

The nympho was slowly stopping her advances toward me in her romantic fashions. However, she still pursues me in school, trying to start a friendly and sometimes perverse conversation. When I gaze into her eyes, I see that her sexual advances are over. However, she finds it fun to act like she wants to pursue me, much to my annoyance.

The mammoth bothers me the same as always.

He seems to act up in class on occasions, but he's quiet most of the time. Depending on my mood, he sets a paper between us. It's our form of communication.

I sometimes indulge in this when I know the lesson or find the subject boring.

Besides this, he never speaks to me outside of class and waves at me from a distance.

I'm writing notes from the professor's lecture when I notice the mammoth put a paper between us.

I know you know the lesson already :)

I decided to indulge.

How would you know?

Because you responded :D

I wrote nothing until the teacher turned back around towards the whiteboard.

What is it?

Nothing, I'm bored. I already went over this with Jasper since he beat me at chess.

The idea of you playing chess is disbelieving.

I smirked.

I bet I can beat you! :(

If Hale beats you, you have no chance of winning.

Why are you so mean to me :'(

I'm only stating the obvious. Despite your good grades, you have the mind of a kid.

You have the mind of a lame old lady.

That's what I strive to be.

He didn't write down anything and continued to look at the sentence.

I continued my notes until I heard him writing.

I look at the paper.

I might not be the brightest, but it doesn't take much to know that you're all business and no fun. That's something that Jasper and Rosalie noticed about you. You are one of the rare ones that make even Irina want to spend time with you.

What about your girlfriend?

She is curious about you because she can see you're different from everyone here, but Rosalie won't do anything that involves you because she's the most unsocial person I know.

I bet she hates me being with Hale.

You don't even know it. Lol.

We stopped writing for a minute because of the teacher.

I heard you met Tanya.

I was taken aback by the sentence.

The strawberry blonde from the hospital?

He nodded his head.

What about her?

I'm nosy. :P

I rolled my eyes and ignored him for the rest of the class.

It bothered me that he knew about me meeting the woman.

Why does he know about her anyway? Did she ask about me?

Shaking my head, I heard the bell ring.

I left the building and saw the nympho next to my bike. Unlike the other times, she has a stern look on her face, which can only mean one thing.

"I haven't heard anything from Clearwater, so don't bother asking," I flatly told her as I grabbed my helmet.

"That's what I was afraid of," she sighs, which is uncommon for her to do.

"What's up? You're acting weird."

"I want to know if she's-"

"No, she hasn't mentioned you," I rolled my eyes, "Just talk with her, damn it!"

"Bella, let me talk," she said quickly, "She was supposed to tell you before today!"

"What's today?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You'll see," she said while walking back to her family.

As she walked away, I realized I wouldn't like this, so I called Clearwater. As I waited, I decided to glance at the Cullens. Fem Hale looked like she was going to kill someone. Hale seems to be talking with both the nympho and the constipated Cullen boy. He looked confused at Hale as he kept talking until he saw his other family members coming their way.

Clearwater didn't answer the phone, so I jumped on my motorcycle and drove back to Charlie's house.

Once I arrived, I was fuming because she should know I don't like people keeping secrets from me.

When I opened the door, I saw Clearwater talking on the phone.

"Alright, I'll see you soon," she said before hanging up the phone.

I threw my keys next to the phone to startle her.

"Clearwater," I said, making her stiffen.

"Higginbotham," she said slowly, "I was talking with Kate."

"Why did Kate ask me if you talked with me before I left the parking lot?" I asked as I crossed my arms. She squirmed under my harsh gaze because I disdain secrets. One of the things we promised each other is that we'd be honest with each other. She's hiding something from me, and it's triggering my hostility.

Something that she's never seen is me when I'm angry.

"Listen, Higginbotham, I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't be home if you knew," she started.

"I don't like being told nothing when it involves me," I said sternly, "You know this!"

She shrank at my shout.

"Kate and Irina are picking us up for dinner at their house."

What?

"Can you repeat that? I don't think I heard you," I said with a chuckle.

Before I could finish, Clearwater dashed up to my room. I chase after her, not wanting her to escape without a punch to the chest. Before I could grab her and shove her to the wall, she entered my room and locked the door.

"Clearwater!" I banged the door, trying to get her to open it so I could slug her. I searched in my pocket for my keys, so I could open the door but felt nothing inside.

"Where are they?" I whispered.

"I have them!" she yelled from the other side, "I grabbed them when you hurled them on the counter."

"Open the door!" I yelled, almost foaming from the mouth with rage.

"I'll open the door if you agree to go with us to the Cullen house. If you don't consider your keys gone for a week!"

"You can't do that. I have school tomorrow!" I yelled while kicking the door.

"I can and I will!"

I sighed and put my back against the door. I slid down and hugged my knees with a groan. I don't want anything to do with the Cullens. I thought she'd be the same, but she's bonded with that nympho. I should've predicted that something like this would occur.

"How long are we staying there?"

"We're only going to dinner, nothing else. Esme and Carmen insisted that you come because they didn't want you to be home alone," she explained, "Kate, Emmett, Jasper, and Tanya encouraged this, so they told me to bring you there."

"Esme and Carmen are their mothers aren't they?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"Yes."

I let out another deep sigh and hit my head back against the door.

"You know me, Clearwater. I'm not a social person. I'm not even good at talking with parents. Just tell them I'm sick."

"Esme is the type that will come and check on you. If I tell her that, she'll come to the house to check up on you."

Damn it.

"It's just one dinner."

"It's only for tonight. You have nothing to lose."

I'll lose my sanity.

"Fine, I'll try to be polite, but I keep no promises."

She opens the door and smiles at me.

"I hide the keys in your room. You can have them when we get back here," she said as she walked out.

I still had some anger in me, so I put it to good use.

"Ouch!" she said once I punched her left breast, "What was that for?"

"You didn't tell me ahead of time!" I said as I slammed the door shut behind me. I lay on the bed and waited for the nightmare to begin.

It's going to be a long night.


"They're late."

Clearwater shakes her head and continues to watch TV. She flips through the channels until she sees breaking news.

"Looks like it's getting even more dangerous out here," she says, "The disappearances are increasing."

"You're right," I said, "I heard that the town will start having a curfew to prevent more disappearances."

"Port Angeles has already started theirs yesterday. It's making it harder for us to go there."

Before we continued the conversation, we heard a knock on the door. I stood from the sofa and walked towards the door.

"Hi, Bella! sorry, we're late!"

"Whatever," I told the hyper blonde as I walked passed her and headed towards the car. I saw Irina leaning against the car. She stood and opened the door to the passenger seat.

"I don't think you want to be in the back with them, so you're sitting in the front with me."

I only nodded, which caused her to smile as she walked back to the other side of the car.

"I thought I was driving!" yelled the nympho from the front porch.

"You the reason we're late in the first place!" she yelled.

I leaned my head back on the headrest and ignored all outside distractions. I knew that if I meditated through this ride, I'd be able to keep my composure in line. Despite everyone figuring out my antisocial tendencies, I still had to try and behave. I've done an excellent job restaining myself to this extent without revealing the majority of my true nature. Therefore, I wouldn't have any problems tonight.

We arrived at the house after a few minutes.

I wasn't surprised to find the Cullens living in a house like this with the clothes they always wear to school. If anything, it heightens my belief that they are wealthier than others might believe.

The white house is three stories tall, with a porch that wraps around the house. Large glass walls are seen in the front of the house, showing some of the rooms inside.

"Good thing your house is hidden from the Forks population, or you might have perverts looking through those glass walls," I deadpanned as Irina smirked.

"You know, only some bedrooms have that wall," commented the nympho, "Tanya's room had a glass wall."

I rolled my eyes as Irina parked the car in the front of the house. I stepped out and waited for Irina to walk next to me.

We walked inside random things scattered around the house.

The cross I saw near the stairs made me ask, "Is your family religious?"

"Most of our cousins fall under faith," said Irina while glancing at me, "Do you fall under a certain religion?"'

"I'd rather not say."

Irina led everyone to the kitchen. Three plates of food are on the kitchen counter with steam coming from them.

"Where is everybody?" asked Clearwater.

"They're around the house, but I feel that Esme and Carmen are coming back soon with their husbands," said Irina, looking at the other entrances.

"Oh, girls! Your back!" yelled Esme as she walked her husband inside the room.

She walked up to me, trying to start a hug, but I quickly stepped back.

"Sorry, but I'm not a hugger."

Esme smiled and stuck out her hand, "Please, call me Esme."

"Bella Higginbotham," I said while shaking her hand.

"This is my husband, Carlisle. He told me you met during your visit to Charlie. I'm sorry about what happened."

Carlisle shook my hand firmly and smiled at me.

"It's nice to see you again, Bella," he said kindly.

Next, a woman walked up to me with Eleazar next to her.

She has an olive-like skin tone like Eleazar. Her hair is dark brown with curls, and her eyes are golden, just like the rest of the Cullens.

"Hello, my name is Carmen," she said while shaking my hand and looking into my eyes.

Comparing Esme and Carmen, I can tell that Esme is more maternal than Carmen.

Esme's eyes are kind, warm, and gentle with a hint of care. It was difficult for me to look into the eyes of both her and her husband. Their eyes are almost overbearing, making me tense.

Carmen's eyes were similar but completely different. Carmen lacks Esme's intense warmth. Instead, I saw that she was more relaxed and peaceful with herself. I saw something else, but I decided not to pay more attention to it, considering her eyes are more bearable than Esme's.

"Bella, it's great to see you again," said Eleazar as he held out his hand.

I couldn't help but smirk at him and shake his hand wholeheartedly. Out of all the adults I've ever met, Eleazar has to be one of my favorite. It shocked me how much I respect a man who rules a classroom with an iron fist.

"I know it's not professional for a student and teacher to meet outside school, but I'm glad my children are starting to socialize with someone outside the family. I hope Kate isn't causing any trouble."

I wasn't sure why, but I heard a hint of confusion while he talked.

"She's slowly improving."

He smiled and cupped my hand with both of his before releasing it.

"I'm sorry, but I must go into the study and finish grading papers for my class. I hope you have a lovely time, Bella," he said before walking away.

"My husband is very fond of having such a diligent student in his class this year," said Carmen, "Irina and Kate often speak about you with Emmett, Tanya, and Jasper. It's hard for us not to overhear."

"Tanya?" I questioned in confusion.

"She met you at the hospital. She didn't stop talking about how worried she was about you until we told her that you seemed fine when we saw you at school," said Irina while smiling.

"Is there any other family member I haven't met?" I asked, wondering if these are all of the Cullen families.

"I would like you to meet the whole family today, but my step-brother won't be back until tomorrow. He's coming from Alaska."

"I knew there's more of you guys," I said to the nympho.

"He's Irina's boring godfather. You've met him eventually," said the nympho as she walked out of the room.

"Isn't she going to eat something?" I asked.

"Kate is, but I'm not. We were running late because of a family emergency. I'm too tired to eat. I think I'm going to sleep early," said Irina with a fake yawn.

"You're a terrible liar," I deadpanned with a roll of my eyes.

"Fine, but I'm not hungry, I swear. I want to be alone," Irina said while walking out of the room.

"She's fine, Bella. She's cranky because her godfather isn't back today like he promised," the nympho said with getting her plate of food, "The old guy said he'd be here tonight, but he isn't gonna make it."

Before I could say anything else, the mammoth dashes inside the room and picks me up in his arms.

"Video game time!"


I played him in seven different video games and managed to wipe the floor with the giant. During this entire time, the mammoth experienced mood swings.

During our fierce playing, we managed to attract the attention of the rest of the Cullen kids except for Tanya. I was about to beat Emmett in in Smash Bros Melee when he started to press random buttons on my control, trying to make me lose.

"You idiot, what the hell are you doing?"

"I'm not doing anything, Bells!"

Before he could cause any more damage, I used my character and killed him using my combo, making him get hit by a car.

"No fair! Kirby could've taken you down! I should've won!"

"Kirby is one of the easiest characters to use, Emmett," said Hale with a smile.

"She could've beaten you with any character, especially Samus."

"You lost in every game you played with her, including the racing game you always lose to Alice," said the constipated-looking Cullen while holding Angela.

The little girl went limp for a minute and shook her head.

"You should ask her to play chess, Jasper," said the girl.

"Do you play?" asked Hale with curiosity.

"I've played since I was a kid," I explained while standing up from my side of the floor, "It's been years since I last played."

"I can get the game ready if you want, or do you want to continue playing with Emmett?"

Emmet gave me his puppy dog eyes, causing me to cross my arms.

"That doesn't work on me."

Emmett grumbled and decided to cuddle with the fem on the couch.

"I'll go to the restroom first. We can play in a minute," I told Hale.

Even though the Cullens have a beautiful house, they pointed out they only had one restroom that wasn't attached to one of their rooms. It's on the third floor, between two guest rooms to the north of the house. Before I could find it, I felt a cold chill run down the back of my spine.

I looked at the only room with the door open to find an open sliding door.

I walked in slowly and decided to take a peek at whoever was outside but found nobody in sight. I walked out and saw a view of a small lake. I leaned on the railing and stared at the moon's reflection on the water.

Suddenly, I felt myself relax and let my features soften.

The entire time I've been with the Cullens, I felt like I couldn't breathe. It's challenging to continue the facade of me being a decent person around them. I'm not who they believe me to be, and I know they will realize that soon, but I needed to act this way to keep Hale as my partner for our art project.

It wasn't easy being someone you aren't, but hiding my true nature for a year was starting to strain me. It's not even close to the winter break, but I feel worn out.

"Why does high school have to be a pain in the ass."

Charlie's in the hospital, and I'm living with Clearwater. On top of that, I have to be at school where I see the Cullens.

The entire time I've been in Forks, I haven't had any time to myself and my guilty pleasures. I can't even sip alcohol without risking Clearwater finding out about my habits.

She's already preventing me from smoking by enforcing that I can't smoke more than one cigarette.

I smiled, then frowned.

I can smoke now that no one is around, but I can't risk being caught by the Cullen parents.

Letting out a deep sigh, I looked at the view below me.

"Stop sighing so much."

I was startled and turned around to find nobody there.

"I'm on the roof."

I tilted my head up, seeing the strawberry-haired woman from the hospital.

"Why are you on the roof?"

"I wanted to be alone," she said while looking in the distance.

I only stared at her, perplexed by the fact that there is a Cullen that isn't itching to drag me into something mindless.

"You can join me up here if you want, but I'm certain the Emmett is going to make you play more video games, or Alice is planning to make you a dress-up doll."

The thought of the tiny Cullen making me dressed up in clothing makes me shiver.

"It might be best if you go inside. It's windy outside, and you look like you'd pass out in this climate."

"I'd rather freeze than go back inside and be a human barbie."

She gave me a smile that made my body heat up.

"There's a small stair on the left of you. You can use it to get to the roof."

I hesitated for a moment.

I didn't know if she was telling the truth about the Cullens, but I couldn't risk that chance of being a dress-up doll. She could be bluffing, but she seems to be telling the truth as far as I know. She didn't have any reason to lie to me.

I'm also uncertain about joining Tanya because the girl makes me uneasy.

Before I could decide, I heard footsteps coming from the hallway.

I walked up the stairs and walked over to Tanya. I sat a few spaces away from her and looked at the view.

"Holy shit."

The view is fantastic.

All around us are trees and no sight of any roads. I see the entire lake and the perfect reflection of the bright moon. Looking up into the sky, I could see stars surrounding the moon.

It's beautiful.

"Even though I'm not fond of Forks, I appreciate the view it gives me during the night."

"I don't like being here either."

"You didn't seem like a small-town girl when we met in that hospital, so this isn't a surprise."

"What do I look like to you?"

"You look like me."

"You?" I questioned.

"Yes, you don't seem like anything in particular because you look like you'd prefer an isolated location," she explained, "Like me, you don't like being around any groups of people."

"It must be hard to be around you're family," I said with a sigh.

"No, I care for my family and try to spend time with them, but I have a moment where I prefer solitude."

"With how lively you're family is, I could only imagine how much alone time you'd want."

"They can become a bit much, especially Emmett and Kate, but I love them all the same. They love me too."

I stayed silent at the mention of love.

I once had a family full of affection. I only felt attachment toward Renee, her friend, and Gran. Nobody else made me feel that way. Charlie's phone calls didn't matter to me. I only care about these three.

I remember what it felt like waking up in that hospital and finding out that there were no signs of Renee. I remember how I felt angry when I lived alone with my grandmother. Mostly, I know what it felt like to lose all three of the people I ever cared about in my life.

I felt empty when I found out the grandma wasn't feeling well. I did everything I could to make her life easier. I even debated taking another part-time job. I couldn't have predicted in my mind that her time was coming so soon.

"I don't think I know that term anymore."

Tanya only looked at me.

"I never knew what it means to love someone."

"Do you care about your family?"

"I don't have any real family left."

"You have the police officer, correct?"

"I never cared for him."

"How long have you been without anyone?"

"The last person I cared about died a few weeks ago, but I don't think I felt anything when they were alive. Maybe I felt an obligation to the last person I had left to truly cared for me."

"Maybe that's what Renee felt like when she was with me."

"I feel like you loved her."

I blink and look into her eyes.

"Sometimes, when we experience loss, we tend to question our reality. Sometimes it's because of unanswered questions that the dead never answered. We tend to think, "They never loved us. It should've been me." but we forget how much they truly cared before the loss," Tanya said while gazing into my eyes, "All the grief you feel from losing the people closest to you is because you love them."

"I lost many people when I was younger. I lost my biological siblings, my grandfather, and my best friend. I used to want to die and fade from the world. Death changes our perception of reality, and sometimes it changes our person. I hated people and everything around us, but then I met my biological aunt. She took me in and changed my perception of the world around me. Then she took in Kate and then Irina. They became my new family."

"A few years later, my aunt was killed before our eyes. We spent our life in grief and suffering until we met Carmen and Eleazar. We became a family, but I could never forget the person I held close to me. I keep them near me and never forget them."

A moment of silence passed between us as I processed her words.

"My story is different from yours."

"Not everyone's is the same."

"No, Tanya," I snapped at her, "Mines differ because I don't know if the two people who aren't my Gran are dead or alive!"

"I don't know if they loved me, I don't know if they cared about me, and I don't know if they're alive!" I yelled aloud, "I can't even remember everything from my past because of an accident!"

"I remember them spending time with me, but I can't even remember their faces. I can't even remember the name of the man who lived with us!"

I stood up and pointed at Tanya.

"At least you have some closure knowing they're all gone, but I have none! They can be alive and living their best life without me for all I know!"

Before I knew what was happening, I felt two arms wrap around me.

At first, I tried shoving her away, but her strength kept me in place. Her strong arms didn't let up even after I yelled at her to let me go. I became tired and decided to let her embrace me. I calmed in her arms and settled my head on her neck. I breathed in and caught the scent of petrichor and a hint of magnolias.

Even though her arms were cold, warmth enveloped me and something else that was unfamiliar.

The unfamiliar feeling started to make my throat dry.


I was in a glass house filled with flowers.

"Mommy, I like this flower."

A lady whose face I can't see appears.

"Oh, you like magnolias, Isabella?"

"Yeah, they remind me of my granny!"

"Do you love granny, Isabella?" she said with a beautiful laugh.

"I love you and granny too!"

"What about-"

"Child, I thought you loved me too?" said a man behind my mother.

"I love you too!"

The woman bent down on one knee and placed the flower in my hair.

"I love you, Isabella," she said, "Never forget it."

"As do I, Isa."


I felt something wet start to cover my cheeks, making me gently pull away from the hug. I lift my hand and felt water on my cheeks.

"It must be raining."

"You're crying."

"I don't cry," I told her firmly, "It might rain. We should head back inside."

"Bella-"

"Don't tell anyone what happened here, or I'll make sure to punch the living shit out of you, Tanya," I said while walking away.

Before I could enter the house, I felt her tug my arm. I turned around, prepared to argue when I saw something in Tanya's eyes.

I saw pain, fatigue, misery, hope, fidelity, and something indescribable.

"Our pain may differ, but know this," she said while whispering in my ear, "We both haven't had any of the closure we desire."

If her breathing against my ear didn't cause me to stop breathing, it was her words.

"Damn it. I need to stop being so judgemental. I'm becoming worse than the kids at my school."

"I'm sorry," I said with a sigh.

"Don't be. Only know that if you need anything, come find me," Tanya said while walking back, "Also, you don't have to worry about our conversation, but be more careful next time you want to speak or vent. Emmett, Kate, and Edward can be eavesdropping.

She walked away without saying another word, leaving me in the cold night.

It was strange because I suddenly felt warmth leave my chest.

"What's happening to me?"


AN: I'm alive!

My bio says that I post stories when I can. I meant it. This story will be finished.