On the Road
Kaidan hitched awake – as he did every morning – to the smell of smoke, the taste of blood, and the high-pitched keens of screaming. It was a few moments before the cold air, the rough furs, and the golden sunlight filtering between the tent flaps, grounded him back into the present day.
He'd once fooled himself into thinking – hoping – that the memories would blunt with time. But the last two years stood as a lesson harshly taught and sorely learned. Each and every sin he was guilty of would surely remain just as sharp as the blade he'd committed them upon, up until the day he died. He would never forget.
He didn't deserve to forget.
Kaidan rubbed his face and sat up on his bedroll, wondering how he always managed to wake up feeling more aches and pains than he had the night before. An unsolicited thought at the back of his mind stirred up echoes of something sweet that would lift the soreness from his body, help him soar away. Wouldn't even be that hard to get his hands on… all he'd need to do was –
Nope. None of that.
Irritably, Kaidan tossed those thoughts away, crawled out from his tent, and stretched out his long limbs beneath the rising sun. All he needed was a warm tavern, a hot meal, and a good ale.
Bruma, last port of call before the Jerall mountains, lay three days behind; Kaidan looked up and on toward the broken, white-capped peaks of the mountain range, a long-forgotten familiarity stirring in his chest. Homesick was the closest word Kaidan could come up with to describe the pull in his chest, even though he'd never really had any place to call home. But some of his fondest memories were of his time with Brynjar in the wilds of Skyrim. On those darker nights when he found himself most in need of… well, it was to Skyrim his mind wandered most in distraction of that need.
How long had it been now?
Must've been seven or eight years since he last made the crossing into Skyrim after Brynjar's death. He hadn't found what he was looking for back then, and to be completely honest with himself, Kaidan wasn't sure if he'd find it now. Hell, he didn't even know what it was he was looking for. But after years of wallowing in resentment, feeding his anger with one poor decision after the next, and running from…
Well, he'd decided enough was enough.
Kaidan turned and looked down upon the twinkling, snow-covered rooftops of Bruma, the last sight of civilisation he'd see in a while. He wagered he had another couple days before he hit the border, and from there another week or so of trudging along mountain roads until he reached Helgen, with nothing but the odd village or two on the way and the fresh mountain air. He'd set up camp in a sheltered outcropping a little way back from the road, but the cold winds were bracing, even here.
Kaidan took a deep breath. Already, his head felt a little clearer.
Once he'd packed up camp and found the road again, Kaidan settled into the familiar rhythm of travel. There was a simplicity to the road he never found elsewhere: the world and all its problems reduced, for a time, to the pack on his back, the beat of his steps, and the wind on his face. It was a snippet of a simple life, and Kaiden resolved to enjoy it while he could. He stopped every now and then to rest his feet, roll the knot between his shoulders out, and take a swing from his waterskin. He saw an elk off the path at high sun – majestic thing, all pride and grace and massive antlers – and managed to snipe a hare for his lunch without too much trouble. All in all, the day passed uneventfully and, as the light changed and day began to fade, he felt something bordering on peaceful. Maybe even a little happiness, for the first time in… well, a long time.
That was, until Kaidan rounded a bend in the road and saw flames on the horizon. Then all those fleeting flickers of good feeling died in the wind, because of course.
He knew it was too good to last.
"Oh, no – no, bad dogs, bad! Shoo, shoo! Oh, do go away - you're supposed to be going away – oh, why isn't this working?!"
Kaidan jogged up the path to the source of the commotion to find a squeaky little blonde man beset by three wolves, haphazardly casting flames in their general direction. One wolf pounced a little too close for comfort, eliciting a high-pitched shriek from the man as he jumped and cast another flame, completely missing the wolf and setting his own boot on fire.
"Oh, mouldering mudcrabs!" he cursed, trying to waft out the flames on his foot.
Kaidan loosed an arrow at another wolf who'd chosen that moment to try and take a bite out of his unguarded neck. It yelped and fell to the ground, wounded and writhing around in pain. The remaining two wolves turned to bare their fangs at Kaidan. He shot one of them right in its open mouth; the arrow came through the other side of its head, killing it instantly. The last wolf took one look at the fallen members of its pack and howled before departing from the path with its tail between its legs.
"Oh, thank you! Thank you," the cried the little man, taking a step forward. Kaidan took a step back. "I don't know who you are, stranger, but you've saved me – I really must repay you! I should – oh! Oh no, I simply must put out these flames!"
Kaidan watched warily as the man – some Imperial noble or other, judging by his accent and ridiculous clothing – continued his attempts to bat out the flames ("ow, ow - hot!"). When that didn't work, he resorted to making noises and flailing around instead.
"…What the bloody 'ell are you doing?"
"The fire isn't listening!" the stranger panicked.
Kaidan began to wonder if he'd ever seen such incompetence in his life, but came up blank. What in all of Tamriel what someone like that doing all the way out here?
"Oh, for the love of – c'mere!" Kaidan growled. He strode over to the little Imperial and, with his free hand, picked him up by the collar of his robes and tossed him gracelessly ("oof!") into a nearby snowdrift. Then he kicked up some snow with the toe of his boot to put out the flames. "Bloody mages, causing havoc," Kaidan spat, "playin' around with forces best left alone."
"Um, I'm not actually a mage, per se," the man on the ground protested. He lifted his foot in the air, turning it this way and that. "Ah, thank you again, that's so much better," he continued, rising cheerfully to his feet and brushing the snow off his coat. "Although I do know some magic – which, turns out, is a lot easier in theory than in practise! Anyway, that's quite beside the point. I'm not just a mage, I'm am an academic. A scientist, scholar – amateur wizard, yes – and something of a musician, too. Though, I suppose that's more of a hobby than anything else," he trailed off. Then he shook his head and held out a hand in greeting. "The name's Lucien. Lucien Flavius."
Kaidan eyed his hand suspiciously. "Kaidan," he grunted eventually, shouldering his bow and ignoring the hand.
Lucien faltered only slightly before withdrawing his hand and continuing. "Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Kaidan. And I do mean that – despite your manners – I'm not sure where I'd be if you hadn't arrived when you did!"
"Still on fire, probably… might'a been better off for everyone else too, I'd wager," Kaidan muttered beneath his breath.
Lucien hadn't caught it. He was still too busy talking. " – I'll simply have to take it up with the head librarian when I return. Herbane's Bestiary specifically said that wolves take fright with flame, so I thought it would be a good idea to – "
" – Set yerself on fire?" Kaidan scoffed.
Lucien looked like he was about to take offence, but any words he had died in his throat as Kaidan took his hunting knife to finish off the first, still whimpering wolf.
"Eww. That's a little bit unpleasant," Lucien grimaced, stepping away from the growing puddle of blood in the snow.
It seemed a waste to leave the wolves on the mountain side, but Kaidan didn't have the time or resources to preserve the pelts until he reached Helgen, and he wasn't all that keen on dragging around a couple of kills for the better part of a week. So, he sheathed his knife and turned to leave.
"Uhm, where – where are you going?" Lucien stammered, hurrying to match Kaidan's much larger steps, then doubling back to retrieve the pack he'd dropped at the side of the road. Kaidan vaguely wondered how he managed to avoid setting that alight, too. "Don't you want your reward?" he called.
"Bit o' peace and quiet'll be reward enough," Kaidan sniped. Stupid mage.
"Sorry! I didn't quite catch that," Lucien puffed as he caught up. "Phew. Is it just me, or is the air already getting thinner? Anyway, I –"
"Look – Lucien, is it?"
"Lucien," Lucien replied.
"…Yeah. that's what I said. Lucien,"
"Lucien," Lucian repeated. "Not Loo-shun –"
"Oh, whatever! Just bugger off, will ya? I don't need no stinking reward for stickin' an arrow into a couple o' wolves, alright? Just leave me be," he grunted, starting up the path again. Not too long ago, Kaidan wouldn't have hesitated in bloodying the nose of an annoyance like Loo-see-un, and he was definitely imagining the act with no small amount of pleasure. But he was a different man now – a better man. Or at least, he was trying to be. So, with some difficulty, Kaidan unclenched his fist and tried his best not to act upon it.
"Are you by any chance hoping to cross the border into Skyrim?" Lucien asked, trotting alongside him.
Kaidan took a deep breath. "…And what if I was?"
"Ah, excellent! I assume you have all the relevant paperwork, then. Hmm, I wonder if –"
"Wait… paperwork?" Kaidan asked, grinding to a halt mid-stride. Lucien looked quite relieved to catch a break from hurrying along on his little legs to match Kaidan's pace. "What paperwork?"
"All the relevant documents to pass the Imperial checkpoint, obviously," Lucien replied airily. "Is that to say you don't?"
"Just what are you trying to sell," Kaidan accused. "Never needed any bloody papers to cross the border before."
Lucien rummaged in his pack. "Well, that was probably before the rebellion started heating up."
"Bah – Ulfric Stormcloak's been cryin' 'independence' since I were a lad, and his grumblings never got him anywhere in years. What changed?"
"I take it you haven't heard that a meeting of all the Nordic rulers, er Kings –"
"Jarls," Kaidan supplied irritably.
"Yes, Jarls – thank you – was proposed by none other than High King Torygg himself?"
That gave Kaidan pause. "Really? When was that?"
"Earlier this month," Lucien said, with all the intrigue of a gossiping inn-keep. "Ruffled a lot of feathers back in the Imperial City. My mother was a Captain in the Legion back in the day, retired now, of course – but she's still privy to all the news and, let me tell you, they are not pleased. Although, they're trying to keep it hush hush and nip it in the bud. It's one thing for a couple of disgruntled Jarls to complain, but another thing entirely for the High King of Skyrim to formally entertain those complaints."
"Aye," Kaidan nodded darkly.
"Anyway, a letter was sent out to every hold in Skyrim bearing the Emperor's insignia. Mother said it was a reminder to the Jarls of the horrors of the war, terms of the White-Gold Concordat, and the importance of our ongoing relationship with the Aldmeri Dominion. Just this week!"
"That's a veiled threat if ever there was one," Kaiden voiced. "Can't imagine it'll do much to quiet Ulfric."
"Indeed!" Lucien agreed, continuing to rummage around. "It's all very exciting. I can't be sure if the message has gotten to any of the Jarls yet, but I do know that security at the borders is being tightened and no one's allowed in or out without a writ-of-passage – at least, not on the Imperial side of the checkpoint. I can't be sure what lies in wait on the other – ah, finally, here it is!" Lucien exclaimed, straightening up and brandishing a scroll.
Kaidan took it in his hands and turned it over. Looked like any other official scroll to him; weighty and expensive parchment sealed with a red ribbon and wax seal.
"Look's like I've picked a bad time to return home then," Kaidan sighed, handing the writ back to Lucien. He dropped his pack on the floor and rubbed his face.
So much for taking the straight road. Now he'd have to trek for miles to find another way in. Perhaps he'd go west to Elinhir and take the road north from there; the Hammerfell-Skyrim border probably wouldn't be as heavily manned, nor as bureaucratic. But that would add weeks to his journey of walking alone, not to mention picking up contracts to keep coin in his pocket along the way. Gods damn it, why did nothing in his life ever go smoothly?
"Well, not necessarily. Look," Lucien said, eyeing an unhappy Kaidan contemplatively. "I have something of a proposition for you."
"Oh aye?" Kaidan grunted. "An' what'd that be?"
"Well, I can't help but notice that you seem to be… how can I put this?" he pondered, tapping his chin. "Better acquainted, shall I say, with the less savoury side of things. And also, that you have a very big sword. And red eyes, which, by the way is an incredibly rare genetic trait. I can't say I've ever seen –"
"Just get on with it, will ya! What'd'ya want?"
Lucien startled, jumping about a foot in the air. "Okay, okay – sorry! Right, starting over. I'm travelling to Skyrim on an expedition – academic, mainly. From everything I've read, the province sounds simply fascinating! The flora, the fauna, the ruins – both Dwemer and Nordic! – the architecture, the politics, the –"
"Is this supposed to be you getting on with it?" Kaidan interrupted, folding his arms.
"Sorry we can't all be as blunt as straight to the point as you. Look, I'm not much of a fighter," Lucien hurried, seeing the dangerous flash in Kaidan's eye. Blunt? He'd show this incessant little man blunt in a moment. "I mean, I can't even begin to express how much of not-a-fighter I am. I know a few spells and I can just about swing a sword, but in any sort of combat I really am useless."
"You don't say…" Kaidan raised an eyebrow and gestured at Lucien's charred boot.
"That was an accident," Lucien said, turning pink. Then he sighed sadly, "Skyrim's no place for a – a 'milk-drinker' like me. I know I won't last five minutes on my own once I cross the border –"
"If you make it that far at all –"
"But perhaps that's where we can help each other out?"
"…You want a bodyguard," Kaidan concluded.
"I'd like to tag along with you – if that's alright," Lucien said hopefully, twiddling the ribbon on his writ. "I'll make sure my papers get us both through that checkpoint, and you can make sure I don't end up eaten by a wolf, or anything else we find along the way. And, of course, I'll compensate you most handsomely for putting up with me."
Handsomely? The sell-sword in Kaidan began instantly began counting coin. "How much are we talking?"
"Hmm, shall we say, three hundred septims up front?" Lucien offered. Kaidan's eyebrows hit his hairline. "After that, I can top you up every time I find something valuable to my research. No obligations save that you take me with you and, er – and keep me alive wherever possible!" he finished with a nervous laugh.
Three hundred in gold... that was coin enough to cover bed-and-board for a month or more. He could lay off the bounties for a while and do some real digging into his past, maybe even get a step closer to finding some answers. Just how loaded was this silly little man?
"Reckon it'd be far easier t'just rob ya," Kaidan said simply.
Lucien looked a little taken aback by the casual threat but persisted, nonetheless. "Now, there's a chance I'm wrong, but, if you were going to rob me and leave me for dead, I kind of think you would have done it by now."
"Might still be mulling it over," he retorted.
"Yes, well, don't take too long. We don't have all day," Lucien complained, eyeing the skyline. The horizon was awash with molten light, heralding another blood-red dusk.
Kaidan sighed. He loved a bit of easy coin as much as the next man, but… he didn't want to be beholden to anyone or have their life on his hands. The was already blood enough on his to last a lifetime. Better off cutting ties as soon as, rather than dragging anything out and tempting fate. Besides, Kaidan definitely did not want an annoying, chatty little noble traipsing around Skyrim after him, setting everything alight.
"Alright," Kaidan said eventually. "Here's what we'll do. Call it 'hundred, and I'll take y'across the border to the nearest town – Helgen, most likely. But we'll have to part ways there. I don't have time to babysit you while you do yer… research, or whatever. I've business of me own to take care of and you'll probably find it – well, as you said. Less savoury."
"Oh, I see," Lucien said, his face losing some of its cheer. But he soon waved the disappointment off and grinned. "Well, alright then! Across the border it is – I'm sure we'll have a good little adventure along the way."
Lucien rummaged through his pack again and produced a singular large coin. He handed it to Kaidan, who turned it over in his hands, chuckling darkly. Loaded indeed. The coin was twinkling gold set within a ring of pale, glimmering moonstone, embossed with the likeness of Titus Mede on one side and the Imperial City on the other. Beautiful thing, worth one hundred septims. Normal folk rarely carried them, and Kaidan hadn't seen one since his days running with – other circles.
"You really haven't got a clue, have ya?" Kaidan scoffed. "Walking about with crowns in your pockets. Just how many of these d'you have tucked away in there?"
"Never you mind how many," Lucien replied defensively, shouldering his pack a little further away from Kaidan. As though that would help him.
"Aye, settle down, no need to ruffle your feathers. Lucky you ran into me and not someone else, though," he said, and slipped the large coin into his travel pack. Then glanced at the sky. "It's getting' darker. We ought to find somewhere'n set up camp. …You have brought the proper gear along for you little 'expedition', I hope?" he added as an afterthought.
"Oh yes, yes I have!" Lucien replied excitedly. "I went on a shopping back in Bruma to prepare, and the shopkeeper was very informative. He showed me all of his latest gear and equipment, explaining which tools I'd need for a whole variety of circumstances that would never have crossed my mind at all!"
"Aye, I bet he did," Kaidan smirked. Any shop-keep worth half his salt can smell a cash-cow a mile out.
"I learned such a lot, and bought it all, of course. Can never be too careful," Lucien continued. "Only problem is, along with my books it's all frightfully heavy."
"Nope. Draw the line at carryin' stuff for ya."
"I mean, you're almost as big as an ox! I'm sure you're as strong as one, too. "
Kaidan just glared.
Lucien sighed. "Oh, alright. It was worth a try."
A/N: It's been a while since I've posted anything here!
Anyway, this is a story I've been working on for a while. If you frequent AO3, you might have seen it there too, idk? I'm just trying to synchronize my accounts and push out updates across both platforms because reasons.
Updates coming weekly so keep your eyes peeled, and don't forget to fave/comment if you like the story! 3
