All familiar characters belong to Janet. Mistakes are mine.

"What are you doing, Babe?" I said almost more to myself than to her.

Keeping strict control of my emotions is something I excel at … unless I see Stephanie in pain. Any kind of pain. Rage is warring with my worry about how much she's suffering due to the asshole that never deserved her.

Vince alerted me to the fact that her car hasn't left her apartment in two days after she returned from the Burg despite her having a capture scheduled for this morning. That concerned me. But now that I'd let myself into the apartment lit only by the sunny edges of the shades pulled down against the mid-morning sun, concerned doesn't begin to describe my current feeling.

I felt reassured for a moment seeing that Rex has a full food dish, complete with carrot and grape treats, and plenty of water in his bottle. She wasn't too upset to neglect her rat. Unfortunately, she's known for putting everything before what she needs. That's where I always come in. I paused when I spotted a three-quarters empty wine bottle on her coffee table next to a completely empty pint of Dublin Mudslide ice cream.

I moved closer to the couch and looked down at the woman who appears to have grown roots into the cushions. Her hair is in a knotted ponytail, and although her normal uniform is jeans and a T-shirt, I know these are the same ones she'd had on when she left my building to go to Morelli's house. I've wanted the two of them over for as long as I've known her, even while I was telling myself I can't have her no matter who she's with or not with. But I never wanted what I believe is their end to hurt her like this.

"Answer me, Steph. I know you're not asleep, and you know you can't ignore me."

She sighed but did roll over to face me. Her eyes are swollen and still red-rimmed from the wine, not enough sleep, or too much crying. None of those sit well with me.

"I'm," she began, trying to clear the hoarseness from a clearly neglected voice before continuing, "I'm okay. You didn't need to come over or break in again."

I curled my fingers around her wrist and tugged her into an upright position. I sat down beside her and used the hold I still had on her to pull her close enough to get an arm around her shoulders.

"Yeah, I can see how okay you are. Have you eaten anything besides ice cream?"

"What day is it?"

"That answers that question. This is what you left Rangeman in, so I'm sure I'm not just assuming that you haven't showered or changed clothes either."

She made a move to distance herself from me, which I refused to allow.

"A shower didn't seem important until now. I should …"

"Stay put?" I finished for her. "Yes, you should stay right where you are. You smell good enough to eat, Babe. You don't need to worry on that front."

"But I should on another?"

"Yes. Tell me what Morelli did so I can repeat each offense before the bullets start going into him."

"Joe didn't do anything."

"I don't like being lied to. Try again."

"Fine. What I meant is he didn't do anything that he hasn't always done."

"You'll have to narrow that list down a little, Steph. Even his personality has a rap sheet."

"His flirting with other women seems to have progressed to meeting at least one. His phone was just sitting there begging me to prove my gut right …"

"So not only is he a cheating asshole, he's a stupid one for leaving evidence of guilt around someone who can literally smell it."

"He was in the shower when I got there. And all the woman said in her voicemail was that it was nice meeting him and she hopes it'll happen again. That could be read two ways, an innocent meeting with a Joyce-type stalky skank … or a not real picky man-whore."

"I know which way I'd cast my vote. You deserve better."

"I know. That's why this hit me so hard. My first thought was ... good, she can have him. The second one was a bit more introspective. I realized I'd turned myself into someone I didn't want to be for something and somebody I didn't even want. And there's no one to blame for that except myself. I wasn't happy but I didn't exactly try to be either."

"Did you tell him all of that?" I asked, trying to keep my heart pumping normally when it wanted to double-time it at all the doors that have just blown open for me … for both of us.

"Not word for word. I stormed into the bathroom, told him I'm done being one in a number instead of number one in his life, and flushed the toilet so he'd physically feel just how hot my temper was running. I grabbed the few things I had there and left my key to his place in the pile of doody Bob had deposited by the back door. I'm not only over being thought of as the human equivalent of a piece of reliable furniture by a guy who claims to love me, I'm through letting myself be treated like an old hand-me-down by people who should feel pretty damn lucky to have someone like me in their lives."

"I agree with everything you just said but hiding away for days, and not taking care of yourself during them, doesn't add up to this new insight you've gained."

"I was telling myself that I'm in the grieving process right now, so I didn't have to do more than eat, drink, and sleep irresponsibly."

"He's not worth grieving, Babe."

"He isn't, but this goodbye party had nothing to do with him. I'm mourning all the time I've wasted doing what's expected or what's easy instead of what's right for me, and mentally burying who I was so maybe I can wake up tomorrow and be who I should've been all along."

"How about we start that now instead of waiting another day?" I pressed.

She drew her head back enough to glance up at me. "We?"

"Yes. You'll need company on this new journey of yours. And I'm going to love getting to know this new Stephanie as much as I've loved the original model."

Little does she know that she's getting more than just company. My Babe will learn soon enough that I'm the man the old and new her ... will love, commit to, and share the number one spot with, in our immediate future.