Dear Mr. & Mrs. Malek
Email is so impersonal, so I thought I'd put pen to paper and introduce myself. I'm Sylvia, and Em tells me she has spoken to you about our relationship. Em says that Montana is not like New England. Me, I'm a Canadian which is perhaps another reason to consider me weird.
First off, Em and I are now living together, she is continuing her professorship at the university and teaches entry level biochemical/biology courses. I'm afraid that's about all I can say about that, as when she talks about her work my eyes mostly glaze over. She's perhaps one of the smartest people I have ever met. You have a charming daughter.
Me, I am in a combination of sales and human resources. I'd got into a program at Harvard, which is where Emily and I met. As a lifelong Torontonian, the only thing which could have lured me south was Harvard's MBA program. Meeting Emily was a life-changer for me. She's the only reason I'd ever consider relocating south of the border.
Okay, I appreciate that most of this is perhaps difficult. Emily loves you all so much. I truly do not wish to second-guess you or your views, but Emily has a lot of fears. About family back in Montana. That's a place I've never been, although I spent a summer as a teen in Regina just north of there. Even the flatness has a beauty to it, the ever-changing colours of the fields causes one to reconsider what 'stark geography' is.
My people in Toronto? About as ordinary as you can imagine. If it is appropriate, maybe you can connect with my mom and dad. But I should warn you, dad is a fierce Blue Jays' fan. He's also a Toronto Argonaut football fan, probably one of the few left. He says that Dave Dickenson is a favourite of his, even though Dickenson played, now coach's out west. He is, according to dad, a University of Montana legend.
That's it for now. I would very much love to hear back from you, in any format you choose. I also respectfully request that you not mince words. Like I said, Em says that this whole thing is perhaps difficult. If you have something to say, just say it. She says that the best way for us to get to know each other is like this, though letters. One day we hope to take a vacation to Big Sky country. I would love to meet you.
Sylvia
Dear Emily and Sylvia
First off, my apologies for the delay in answering your letter. Yes all this is a shock. You asked for honesty, it's also very upsetting. Her mom and Emily had a difficult conversation by telephone soon after your letter arrived. So I trust you're up to speed with our views. I'm writing this because my wife simply cannot abide what's going on.
Look, we're not bigots, particularly when it comes to our own daughter. You should know, Sylvia, that Emily was perhaps the victim of bullying here in town when she was in high school. There was that incident at Emily's senior Prom with one of the football players. The police had to become involved and we were told to get some counselling for her. I feel forever guilty that we did not do that. Maybe that would have saved Emily from going over the edge.
We always thought that Emily would go to the University of Montana at Missoula. She had the marks for it. We'd been told that UoM has produced Rhodes Scholars and more that two dozen scientists of note. Emily could have flourished there.
We're still in dispute with her high school counselor, who (behind our back) saw that she was enrolled in so-called 'Ivy league' universities. The counselor openly called Harvard a 'lifestyle choice', thinking that Missoula was too bigoted. We believe that it was the counselor who was actively promoting a gay-lifestyle and counseled Emily to go East because of that. All of this could have been avoided.
Ok, I won't go on about that. We're not bigots. My wife and I both have gay friends, and it's no problem for us. But there are limits. Our church is very clear about it all.
In any event, I do appreciate you reaching out to us. I actually do. Em's mom is currently not speaking about this, not at all. Will probably not answer Emily's calls. Me, I'd like to keep lines open. Despite it all, Emily is still our daughter.
Ollie (dad)
Dear Mr. & Mrs. Malek
It's been a while and for that I apologize. A lot has happened. Emily and I are deeply in love, which is something I fear putting on paper to you. Yet it is the truth.
Which is why I feel you have a right to know. Emily is currently not speaking to me, because I said I'd tell you if she wouldn't. It's the first real fight we've had. She does not want you to know, but I feel you have a right.
Emily and I are now married. Legally. In Maryland. This is not 'for show', nor is it to make any marriage equality 'statement', other than that I would move heaven and earth for her. I wish to grow old with her.
We are also going to Toronto next week for invitro. The procedure doesn't cost anything in Canada. It's rare these days, what with the fertility crisis, that both of us are fertile. I feel you have a right to know, because you'll be grandparents.
We also attended a protest against the Sons of Jacob here in Boston. Those people scare me. Even the Regents at Emily's university are buckling under, allowing a minority of nutcases to dictate university policy for the rest of us. My business is standing firm. Although a similar H.R. company in the city has just laid off all their women employees.
I must go for now. I hope all is well for you. Emily sends her love.
Sylvia
Dear Sylvia and Emily
We can't say we understand it. It seems unnatural for a child not to have a mom and a dad. Then again, I was raised by my mom and an aunt, as Emily knows. But I suspect that that was very different. Out here in the country, families stay together and pull together.
The marriage thing. Ok, if you must know, our Pastor has asked us not to speak of Emily when we're at church or any of its functions. Emily's mom tore into the Pastor, we're now only occasionally going elsewhere, to the Episcopal church. But as Emily knows, this is a small town. After all the tears my wife has shed over this, it was quite the sight her calling the Pastor 'homophobic'. That surprised me.
The Sons of Jacob are Sons of Bitches. A bunch of them tried to occupy the foyer at the capital building in Helena. But I'll be honest, they are perhaps one of the few groups who even try to speak for the common man. It's their tactics I don't like. So if you're worried, we're not signing up for one of their meetings (they had one in town two weeks ago) when they take guns to oust an elected governor. They should tone it down, way, way down.
Decent conservative values are one thing. Insurrection is quite another.
Tell Emily that if she were to call, her mom may be in the mood to speak with her. Please, don't mention the pastor. Depends on the day. Maybe speak to me first. This is hard for us. Everyone is divided. I had to leave early from the boys' coffee group downtown at the restaurant. They were laughing about Ellen DeGeneris. This is hard, very hard for us. I may not agree with your lifestyle, but I'm not going to laugh at my daughter. You should know that.
Ollie (dad)
Dear Mr & Mrs Malek
It's a boy. We named him 'Oliver', after you Ollie. See included pictures, as well as the happy mom. Well, I guess both of us are moms now. The birth was in Toronto, we just thought that would make it easier for all concerned. Your grandson is a Canadian! We're sensitive to the timing of any visit we might make to Montana. I'm sure you'll want to meet him. He's beautiful.
With Oliver a Canadian, we have a back-up plan if the Sons of Jacob really get out of hand. There were injuries at last weeks' demonstration against them. When things settle down, we'll let you know our plans. My own firm talked about sending all female employees off on a paid furlough, instead of outright firing them. The Sons of Jacob aren't even in control of anything, and people are starting to cave in.
Sylvia
Dear Mr & Mrs Malek
I hope this gets to you out in Montana, I wish I had better news. Note the return address, that Oliver and I are now in Toronto. For the duration, however long it turns out to be. Please send any correspondence to the above address. There's no guarantee that letters, e-mail, hotmail, faxes, texts or anything will get to anyone in Boston anymore. Everything is screwed up.
It was horrible. Emily and I were separated at Logan airport. Yes, we should have fled after the President's Day massacre. I cry at night that we didn't. It was not until one of Em's colleagues at the university was lynched for being gay that we decided to head back here to Toronto. Lynched. Can you believe it?
Logan Airport? It was a zoo, like you saw in Afghanistan when the Taliban took over, everyone climbing over things wanting to get out. Madness. Oliver and I, we had Canadian passports. Emily should have been able to come, we had the Maryland marriage certificate on our person. The bastards, they ripped it up, right there. Said, 'deviants don't marry'. So they said that me and Oliver could board the plane, but Emily had to stay behind. If it hadn't have been for Oliver, I would have stayed, I promise you.
I'm going to get Emily out, I promise you. How is it in Montana?
Have you heard anything? Nothing is getting in or out of Boston. They're now calling it, 'New Gilead', whatever that means. Can you believe it? It's a nightmare. The American consulate here in Toronto is very little help, except to say that Emily's 'two functioning ovaries' are in her favour. What!? But the consulate here is being overwhelmed by American refugees. My God, there's a term I thought I'd never hear, 'American refugees'! There's only rumours about what Boston looks like now that Massachusetts has fallen. One rumour? Woman are being rounded up. I hope against hope that Emily is not one of them.
What's happening in Montana? All we hear about here is that major portions of the American military are defecting to the new regime. That cannot be. Please let me know as soon as you can. Enclosed is the last picture I have of Emily and Oliver. All our stuff including baby photos are back in Boston. Our home is there. I hope Emily can get to them.
Sylvia.
