(Circa mid-1980s. REBECCA walks into the kitchen to a feast. She finds JACK spoonfeeding their daughter KATE, 10, custard. Cupcake wrappers and discarded ice cream tins litter the table. REBECCA goes off.)

REBECCA

Jack!

JACK

What?

REBECCA

Stop feeding her all this food! Stop feeding her all this food! Why are you feeding her all this food? She rolls around in self-loathing because you won't stop feeding her all these cookies and cupcakes and pies and sugary foods!

JACK

Rebecca, it's fiiiine. It's fine, Rebecca…

REBECCA

No it's not fine, Jack! You need to stop spoiling her.

JACK

She got an A on her math test. She can have a cupcake…

REBECCA

(Pries a candy bar from KATE's hand.) Honey, don't eat that okay. Why don't you have a celery stick instead? (KATE begins to cry.) There - JACK - you see what you do! Stop feeding Kate cupcakes and candy bars! You're gonna get her addicted and she's gonna be on a breathing machine by the time she's forty!

(KATE runs away in tears.)

JACK

Now look what you did, Rebecca.

REBECCA

Well I'm sorry, but why do you spoil her, Jack? When you say "it's okay, it's okay baby, have a cupcake," you're ruining all my hard work!

JACK

It's nothing but a little baby phat-phat.

REBECCA

The… that song didn't even exist in the 80s!

. . .