SYLVIA
This one is from the both of us, Sylvia. It's our hope that we're not being ignored, nor being cut out (because of our views).
It's been a month since Emily got out. We've heard nothing. When we did not get an update from you, we got the address for and wrote her directly at the refugees center near Montreal. That one was returned, unopened with no explanation.
We got a 12-hour visa to Calgary. We had to use the Del Bonita border crossing to the west of Sweet Grass because of a Canadian military buildup on the Coutts side. They were guarding the supplies meant for folk like us in the so-called 'disputed zone'. (We call it America.)
We'll get to the point. We only had 4 hours in Calgary, and our appointment was delayed 3 of them. There was a lot of desperate people there, and we were two of them. When we talked to the people there, they spent most of the only hour we had on hold with the Toronto American Consulate.
We're not for a minute saying that you had lied to us about either Emily or the baby, but that was the only thing that the Calgary people could or would verify. That Emily and the (her?) baby were in Canada. We knew that. After they hung up, the Calgary officer said to us that she had the feeling that Emily was in Toronto with the baby, but that that had not been outright confirmed.
We are a grandma and grandpa going crazy here. Please respond with any information you have. Our views are our views, we have always been honest. Please at least return the courtesy.
Finally, we were the last car allowed through at Del Bonita, as the Canadian RCMP closed that crossing as well just after. The cop who we talked to said that the Northern District were at that very minute attacking the supply depot at the Coutts side.
Just north of town we saw burned out shells of what had been Gilead military vehicles. We kicked their ass, the CB chatter said that no white folk from town and no Indians from the Reservations were injured. A few trucks had been shot up, and one burned out.
So. We're none the wiser about Emily and the baby, and rationing is getting bad here. They say that the USPS at Sweet Grass survived an attack, and are still guaranteeing delivery across the 49th. Please don't give up on us.
Please do not cut us off. Please let us know the status of any grandchild we may already have. Please let us know if Emily is safe and ok. We're on a two hour evacuation notice to head north - if it comes to that.
Grandpa and Grandma.
Mr & Mrs Malek
Many apologies. I wrote you a couple of weeks ago, but neglected to mail it. That was my bad, I hung on to it thinking that there would be daily updates. There weren't. Please know that it is no reflection on any disagreement you and I may have.
I am as out of the loop as you. I actually did drive to Montréal about 10 days after they had called about Emily. By that time both Emily and the baby were gone.
You, at least, got some information about them in Calgary, more than I've had here. I'd not known that they'd been in Toronto all this time. The last time they reached out to me it was to scold me for not respecting 'refugee rights and privacy'. This was even with them knowing full well (and fully accepting) that Emily is my wife. From all of that, and from talking with Luke and Moira who I mentioned in a previous letter, I'm now fearing that Emily has actually pulled my name from the very contact list that Rachel Tapping used initially.
They did say that refugees are given a cellphone and I demanded her number. They refused, but they took my own information and promised to pass it to Emily.
So, I literally have no other information. I am so sorry. It's infuriating, crazy making. I don't know what to tell Oliver. It is also troubling to hear about Gilead's military incursions into your area. Enclosed is a picture Oliver drew of grandma and grandpa fighting the 'bad guys', as he calls Gilead. The bad guys.
Emily must have her reasons. She may feel ashamed that she gave birth from what amounted to rape. I'll tell her what I am telling you. That makes no difference to me. Whatever it was that happened in Boston (or out at the decontamination camp), nothing about that matters to me. Building a loving home for all our kids - me and Emily as one - is all that counts.
Sylvia
Mr and Mrs Malek
Two bits of news. I just heard from the Consulate. The baby is not Emily's. She'd been carrying it for another woman, still trapped in Gilead.
It's confirmed here that Emily is in the city, and has been for all but a few days since her stay at the first refugee facility. They said she has my telephone numbers. Why she does not call? I don't know. She must know that it is almost impossible to call what remains of Montana.
I've told Oliver about the baby that it's not his sister, but not that Emily is in the city. I pray to all that's good that they not run into each other. Rachel Tapping suggested that Oliver's school be monitored. She says that the decompression which Emily needs, as well as the absorption of refugees into a normal society produce incredibly mixed sets of behaviours.
Oliver says that he loves you. He's excited by the thought he might eventually be on an airplane to Calgary to meet his grandparents.
I just hope Emily will be with us.
SYLVIA AND OLIVER
We're still getting mail at Sweet Grass. Spent two nights last week at the Blackfeet Reservation with a wonderful family. They wouldn't accept money. Our town had been briefly evacuated. We thought that that was it.
Please if any news from Canada, please let us know. It's wonderful the drawings Oliver is making about his mom. Please keep sending them!
There was a CBC news report about 'Baby Nichole', and Gilead's claim that the baby had been kidnapped to Canada. 'Trafficked'. By a 'Handmaid fleeing justice'. By a 'murderer' who also almost fatally assaulted one of what they call an 'Aunt'. We're dying here, because the timing suggests Emily.
Is this what is going on? Why you're not passing on any info?
GRANDMA AND GRANDPA
My apologies for the delay. This one is on me. I've not been in any shape to write lately. Oliver is acting out, but truly it's not him. He's been wonderful.
I spent the better part of an afternoon with Emily, then Oliver came home and the three of us navigated one another. I don't know any other way of saying it, she's broken. Emily is at a hotel, I know where it is but have been asked to give her space. The baby is now with Luke Bankole, as it belongs to June Osborne who is still in servitude in Boston. Yes, that is 'Baby Nichole' as you're hearing on the news. Emily doesn't talk about who got her out, saying that lives are on the line. She's got an interview with the Swiss next week, the Swiss are some sort of intermediary between Canada and Gilead. Gilead is on the warpath about Baby Nichole. The Waterford family in Boston were even on T.V., and June Osborne was standing to one side as their 'Handmaid', the surrogate who birthed Nichole. She's Luke Bankole's wife, that's how screwed up Gilead is. It was gross.
None of it is what Gilead is claiming. I know that much.
Ok, it's harder to write this. Oliver has been great for her. But all they had was an evening, where at first she read to him, but she faltered. He then read to her. I almost didn't keep it together. She went back to the hotel.
I told her that I do not care what she may have done in Gilead. I told her on your behalf that neither do you. She knows we're communicating.
Ok, then there's the arrest. She and Moira Strand had been arrested at a demonstration to do with the Canadian immigration minister. Moira is staying with Luke Bankole helping with Nichole. That's all I know about that. Emily won't talk about it. The consulate has assured me that the arrest will not interfere with her refugee status.
That is literally all I have. No one is trying to cut you out. Even with Emily here in the city, there's not a lot to know. Just that she is safe. We do care that your life is in upheaval, and I am so glad that the Blackfeet Reservation is a haven for you. It must be unbearable to live in a 'disputed area'. The Toronto consulate has said that Canada is trying to avoid mass refugees coming in from those disputed areas, which (apparently) are all along the border from the Pacific to the Atlantic. It's crazy.
From what I see with Emily, though, she's shattered. She's fairly vacant. I used to know that look that she had, sitting quietly choosing her words carefully as she always did. Now she just sits quietly, not exactly shaking. Not choosing words so much as having no words. They call it PTSD, and other refugees tell me that she needs time. Then there is next week with the Swiss.
I've told Emily that I will go with her if she wants. She didn't respond. I guess that's a last minute thing.
I've got to get this in the mail. If it ever gets to it, you are always welcome here.
Oliver wants me to tell you that he's glad that he has his mom back. But that she's sad. He counts the cuddles. There's only been two.
Sylvia and Oliver
Emily, Sylvia and Oliver
Honey, this is your parents. We're here for you. Both of us want you to know that whatever dispute we ever had - about you leaving Montana for the east, all of that is long gone.
We are so glad that you are safe in Toronto. Sylvia has been keeping us up to date with what's what. She's been a gem. It cannot be easy. It is just so nice to be writing to you directly, so that we can tell you how much we love you, how much we love Oliver, and how much we appreciate Sylvia keeping us up to date.
One day all this will have passed and we can be together again. We're told it will be a long road for you. All we can say is to ask you to take advantage of everything available to get you on the road to recovery.
We had another evacuation notice yesterday. It was canceled. CB radios and car batteries are all we have. When you were a kid we used to use coal-oil lamps in the house to recreate settler days. Now it is all we have. We ration gasoline, always having enough to make the border if need be. Winters are the worst. Every so often Great Falls changes hands. That's about as far north as Gilead can control.
We love you and are praying for the day when we see each other. The evil that is Gilead cannot endure.
