(Circa-2010s. KEVIN is a famous and miserable sitcom actor. After another hard day of filming has wrapped up, KEVIN treats his brother RANDALL to a drink in order to catch up.)
KEVIN
So. What's your favorite episode of The Manny?
RANDALL
The Manny. (Thinking hard.) Hmm. This is a toughy… I know! The one where the man becomes a nanny.
KEVIN
He's already a nanny.
RANDALL
Oh…
KEVIN
Who's your favorite character?
RANDALL
(Sips his drink, stalling.) … You, of course.
KEVIN
What's my name?
RANDALL
(Feigns ignorance.) Kevin? Kevin Pearson.
KEVIN
Second favorite character?
RANDALL
Uhm… your daughter? I mean your - the child that you're taking care of.
KEVIN
It's a baby.
RANDALL
Right.
KEVIN
Like a literal baby… it can't talk.
RANDALL
Oh.
KEVIN
(Pressing.) Is it a boy or girl?
RANDALL
Ggggirrrr… boy, boy. Definitely boy. I mean girl.
KEVIN
(Getting up from the table.) That's just great, Randall…
RANDALL
Well, now wait a minute, Kevin. You don't know what I do.
KEVIN
Of course I do. You work in that office building. You're that transponster… guy.
RANDALL
(Rubbing his face.) Ohhh Kevin, Kevin, Kevin…
KEVIN
Don't Kevin Kevin me. I can't believe you can't pick up the remote and turn on the TV…
RANDALL
I watch TV.
KEVIN
You don't watch my show.
RANDALL
No because why would I want to watch that show? Why would I want to watch that shoddy show? I thought ever since your public meltdown you weren't even on it anymore.
KEVIN
You know what, Randall -
RANDALL
Get a new career, bro. Because your acting is stale and your jokes are runny.
KEVIN
You know what you looked like in all our family pictures? You look like a big Black horse that didn't belong there.
(Beat. Both men stand there, steeping in their hurt feelings.)
MANNY FAN
Hey, Manny! Can I get an autograph, Kevin Pearson? We're the biggest fan of your show in my house and I just -
(KEVIN snatches the notepad and chucks it into the bar bin.)
MANNY FAN
Alrighty! (Salutes, walks away.)
. . .
