Chapter 6: Therapy III: Bandit
Work on the house requires Bandit to come over more and more frequently, as Brett required Bandit's approval frequently on different decisions made. Whether it was due to sticking to the historical district's guidelines or a change of materials, he was over meeting with the contractor usually 3 or more times a week. For some people this would be an inconvenience, but Bandit didn't mind it. Both girls were back in school full time, and he still primarily worked from home, so it was a welcomed distraction from the empty apartment and his own thoughts.
While the construction was going well and the girls were starting to make steps toward their old selves, Bandit was starting to have some uncomfortable feelings…
"Hello Bandit, how are you?" Ted greeted him as he sat down on in one of the comfortable chairs opposite Ted's.
"Um, fine I guess." Bandit shrugged.
"You guess?"
"Well, the girls and I have been better with talking about our feelings since Bluey was here two weeks ago, and some of those exercises you gave Bingo do seem to be helping, so that's all really good." Bandit smiled, "The girls wanted me to play a game with them yesterday. It's the first time we've properly played since, well, y'know…"
"That's wonderful!" Ted beamed, "I'm so glad to hear that you all are doing better with communicating through your grief."
"Yeah, it has been really good. My nightmares are getting better, too."
"Good, I'd hoped the Tofranil would aid with that."
Bandit fidgeted a moment, "But a few days ago, I had a weird dream and I'm not really comfortable with it."
Ted furrowed his brow slightly. "Could you explain what your dream was?"
Bandit started blushing, "I'd rather not."
"Bandit, remember this is a safe place, I'm not going to judge you if your dream was something strange for you, what you say doesn't leave this room."
Bandit rubbed his paw against his arm. "Look, it was kind of a sex dream." He emphasized the word and started looking down at his feet, ashamed at saying the perceived naughty word.
"That's okay, I've spoken with patients about many different things, including a fair amount of sexual content, I'm sure I can handle it."
"Yeah, but…" Bandit hesitated. "It wasn't exactly… normal."
Ted paused, "Bandit, do you normally have sex dreams?"
"Not really."
"So having one, that's what made you uncomfortable?"
"No. I've had enough of them that I'm used to it. I mean, I was a teenage boy at one time, but this one…" Bandit winced as if pulling off a Band-Aid, "It was about a guy."
"And that made you uncomfortable?"
Bandit half-shrugged. "Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against gays, but it…" He paused, "It wasn't exactly something I was expecting."
"So you're unsure of your feelings at the moment?" Ted asked.
Bandit exhaled, "That's one way to put it."
Ted raised an eyebrow.
Bandit gritted his teeth as he continued, "Doc, I've been straight as an arrow my entire fucking life. I met my wife when we were kids, fell absolutely head over heels for her and never had a second thought about it. Now, with all the shit that happened I wake up at 3 in the morning with a stiffie after having a dream about my contractor Brett doing a whole lot more than contracting!"
"And you're not happy with that."
"Of course not! Why would I be fucking happy about it?" Bandit gesticulated.
Ted adjusted his glasses, "Do you have any idea why it may be him that you had this fantasy about?"
"Okay, first it wasn't a fantasy." Bandit raised a finger to clarify. "It was some freak dream that just happened."
"Based on the way you described it, some part of you did enjoy the dream." Bandit growled as Ted lifted his hands in defense, "Regardless of what you call it, do you have any idea why it may have been him instead of someone else?"
"It probably doesn't help he looks exactly like Chilli did." Bandit commented before softly remarking to himself, "He even has the same little nook where his hip meets his stomach on the side…"
"So, you feel the physical similarities may have influenced it?"
"Well, that and I guess we really get along, I guess."
"Could you explain that further?"
"I mean, we just sort of, I dunno, click? Like, don't get me wrong, Pat and Fido, and some of the other kid's dads-I'm friends with them, but this it's different…" Bandit paused, Almost like when I started going out with Chilli.
"And that connection, along with the physical similarities you feel may have caused your infatuation?"
"Maybe?" Bandit admitted, looking down at his feet as they scuffed across the carpet.
"Do you think you would be more or less uncomfortable if Brett was a woman?"
Bandit was taken aback for a second, "Um, I don't know… Probably less?"
"Probably?"
"Well, he isn't, so I don't know." Bandit defended.
"Have you ever had any sorts of feelings like this before, for men or women?"
"Aside from Chilli, no." Bandit admitted. "She was really the only girl I ever had eyes for. Rad and Stripe, they dated girls plenty, but with Chilli, it was always her for me."
Ted nodded, "Have you considered discussing your feelings with Brett?"
Bandit raised an eyebrow, "Doc, I'm not gonna go up to my contractor and tell him I had a stiffie over him. I'm pretty sure that's sexual harassment."
Ted sighed, "Yes, that would be. I meant discussing how you feel about each other."
"But we're just acquaintances; I don't even really know that much about him." Bandit glanced at his feet guiltily, "I don't even know his last name…"
"Well, have you considered trying to get to know him better?" Ted paused, "Maybe invite him for drinks some time, or see if you can do something together. It may give you a chance to get to learn more about him and possibly temper some of these feelings."
Bandit shrugged, "I suppose I could try that."
