Notes: So a little bit of Mama Avery and more Tarjei and a huge shock. Same as before this is a story where April and Jackson are the main characters. Some details are changed and some are the ones that were in the show. There are probably some grammar mistakes so… Just enjoy and always comment if you have any ideas, opinions etc, but please no hate. Also I really appreciate given comments. Thank you! Also from now I won't be able to update the story so much anymore because of school.
JACKSON AVERY, THE NEXT DAY
I am afraid that the whole thing seems to be going wrong. I now have to say it smells a little bit rotten. But why did she ask him to send cash? I just want to know that. I wish I could tell her the whole current truth. I really wish it would be possible. About pregnancy then yes I am pissed at her. Why didn't she tell me? Why? I am aware that she remembers the last time and what happened then.
The last time tore both of us apart. But mainly it changed her in a lot of ways. Some of these changes were very good, but the other ones were disastrous. She became more bold and creative. My April finally managed to be "The Sun". She managed to become even more creative at her job than she already was.
But now the negatives, unfortunately the list is going to be long. After Samuel at first it seemed like there was a very evil demon inside of her. It came out when anyone mentioned Samuel in any form. She never wanted to talk about him in any form. Noone couldn't even mention him in any form. Though I on the other hand would have wanted to talk. In the end it decreased, but didn't go away.
Soon after the death of Samuel I got to know from Arizona about her habit. She was staring at healthy babies who were in Peds. She did it during lunch. I think she thought no one would know about her habit.
I tried to talk to her about it, but it gave no result. Well the only result was a big fight about everything. We started with her habit and in the end we fought about little things that didn't matter at the end of the day. After that she didn't talk to me for a week and at the end of the silent treatment she told me about going to Jordan.
Well that in the end nearly destroyed me. I had nearly not survived it mentally and physically. Now after I think about all of it. I shouldn't have let her go. She was not fine and I mean it both physically and mentally. I should have searched for help for her and myself, but mainly her. Now after I know about what happened in the military I am positive that I should have done that for her.
Later after coming home from Jordan the first time it seemed like some kind of switch was turned in her which never turned back again. It was possible to see it in every aspect of life. In the end it led her and myself to this moment.
Currently I am not sure anymore what I want to do with the whole divorce thing. Should I go on with that or not? I wish someone could give advice.
I could try to use my mom for it, but who am I kidding. She would only make it even more confusing. I believe she would start meddling and it can cause more harm than good. I could try Tarjei. As I understand he is quite close with April. Perhaps he could give me some advice although I am not sure he would do it. He is on April's side in this situation. 0
As a result of my question he might push me away and it would probably be bad. I can also try Charles. He seemed very sensible and understanding.
From what April told me about him and what was possible to read from the media. His and Eileen's marriage started way worse than ours. His wife's parents are highly respected christians who are also politicians. Due to this, the girl's parents disowned her as a result of marrying a person they didn't approve of and having a baby out of wedlock. So I think he might be the best start. In my opinion what happened to them was awful. Outside they seemed like a usual couple, nothing terrible or dangerous.
I come out of my thoughts when someone knocks on my apartment door. I yell from the couch that I am coming while walking to the front door. I open it and there stands my mother. Instantly I ask her what she is doing here. As an answer to my impolite actions so far she tells me if I am not going to let her in. I don't have an answer for that so I just get out of the way. My mother steps in and we make our way to the living room.
APRIL KEPNER, NIGHT
Everything that surrounds me is spinning. I don't understand what is going on with me. Why am I wearing those awful orange scrubs? It has been many years since I last saw them. Perhaps someone is playing a nasty prank on me. Finally the surrounding stopped spinning. I look around and see the officers tent. It is in the colours of desert and way bigger than ours. In my opinion, wasting place on that is pointless. They were with higher ranking than us, but way worse as humans. Nowadays I would not want to know people like them. They were everything that they shouldn't have been. Wait, it looks like the exact same tent where the most terrible thing in my life happened to me. It defined the rest of my future. I should have been able to trust him, but all he did was destroy me. He tried to rape me, but I decided to fight back. Suddenly I jerk, when I feel someone's hand on my shoulder. I see him, the bigger disaster in my life, the main reason why I didn't continue to be a soldier and left Virginia. I feel like I want to punch him and finish what I didn't manage then. I did my best to end his actions forever that were illegal, but all I got thrown at me were accusations and guilt. Suddenly I see that in my hand are scissors and I realize a very good opportunity, to end what I didn't manage then and I try. But to my horror, when I try to stab him nothing happens. I try to run away, but it seems as if my legs are made of jelly. I did my best but he caught me. He tries to strangle me, but in turn I start kicking and fighting with my hands, but I am too weak. I am not getting rid of carbon dioxide nor am I getting enough air. I feel that I am slowly drifting away, into the unknown.
I suddenly wake up because my room's phone is ringing. I immediately picked it up. To my luck it is only the hotel lobby. Guy who was there told me that there was an envelope with my name waiting for me in the lobby. It suddenly dawns on me that the game goes on. Someone wants me to go away, but the big question is who? It could be anyone. It instantly brings to the surface a memory of how I managed to gain hundreds of enemies in a couple of days.
04.06.2005
Afghanistan, Camp Bastille
I am supposed to be happy, but I am on the opposite end of the spectrum. Wesley and Elena are dead. Elena even wasn't supposed to be there. I am the one who had to be there instead of her, but after what Wesley did I couldn't. I gave the most terrible answer to his question that could have been given to him. But what's worse I gave a promise that I knew that I couldn't fulfill in order to convince Elena to do my job. I must admit I was scared. I am not good at letting people in. My past never gave me a chance to do it, so I have no idea how to do it. I tried, but it seems as if it wasn't enough.
I wish I knew what to do. I have no one to talk to about it. I am afraid of their reactions and consequences. I would be hated and I can't let it happen. It would destroy my persona that I have created. Everyone already hates me, my bosses, Charles gave me a cold shoulder and everyone else in the team gave me silent treatment. I have no one who would help me. I could try one of the officers named Tove. He seems nice and understanding. He might be a good person to help me.
Suddenly I jerk away from my thoughts when Hera puts her hand on my shoulder. She is the secretary of the base chief. She is basically like me except everything about her is darker. Hera is the strongest person I have ever met and I don't mean it only physically, but also mentally. She is capable of doing everything she wishes. Only the sky's the limit for her. She tells me that our base's chief wants to see me.
I don't know what to say. It seems as if my day is going to get a lot worse. They might send me to court or worse prison. I quickly make my way to the chief's container. It is a sea container that has its standard measurements. So it is quite big. I wait there and wait. It seems as if no one is going to deal with me.
Finally the chief comes in and tells me to take a seat. It shouldn't take long. At first he tells me that he is sorry about Elena and Wesley. He asked me how I am and I told him that I am as expected. Sad and missing them. Then to my relief he tells me the following that there is a head money put out after me and the sum is big. So I need to keep myself low for a while. In order to do that I am going to leave the area. To me it sounds like a relief. They don't know about what I did yesterday and the previous night. So I am just letting it be for now.
The sudden knocking on my door pulls me out of my memories. I put away the phone that was still next to my ear. I quickly throw some clothes on that make me a little bit more representable in Afghanistan.
I am aware what people might start to think about me if they see me dressed in so little. Naturally I know the country's history. It is bloody as hell. I gave my part in doing the history the way it is and now I regret it more and more. I wish I knew how to make that feeling go away, but I don't so I need to live with it for now.
I open the door and there stands the hotel lobby dude. He hands me over another envelope and I in return give him a couple dollars. I just do it so that he would have a happy day. After closing the door I open it and there is another letter with a threat I would have never believed is possible.
JACKSON AVERY, IN HIS APARTMENT
I tell my mother everything I know. There is no other way I can weasel out of it. I tell her about what happened in the lawyers office where I got to know Charles and Chris, I give her a summary of what happened in our or at the moment her apartment, about the conversation with Tarjei and what he said to me. I considered telling her about pregnancy, but I decided against it. I don't want her to meddle in it. She can cause way more harm with it than necessary.
After hearing about what has happened with those couple weeks she opens her mouth and then closes it. It is obvious that she is shocked. Who could have thought that April Kepner's past is entirely something else that we knew about? And who would have thought that she would hide something so important after everything we have been through. Those questions have very easy answers. No one.
After a couple minutes of silence she asks me what I am going to do next. As an answer to that I tell her that I am letting Tarjei send her the money and after that I am going to go and find her.
Now those words are what my mother didn't expect. Immediately she starts yelling at me and accusing her of being irresponsible. I quickly shut her with a sentence that I thought would never come out of my mouth. I tell her that I was the one who was irresponsible about her and it is my disaster and I need to fix it.
After that she just casually asks if I am planning to go alone by myself. Do I understand that it is a dangerous environment? It is possible to get easily kidanpped or murdered. To those questions there is no simple answer. I just in case tell her that I am working on those parts. It seems as if it was enough to satisfy her and force her to back off, but then she tells me something that really stings.
She tells me that I better not hurt her more than she already has been and I need to keep myself safe. At the end of our conversation she tells me to call if I need anything. Personally, to me it seems like a shock. I didn't expect it. I thought that she doesn't like April.
During the end of our marriage secret bubble over 3 years ago, when she found out about our marriage. She made it quite clear that she didn't like April. She even dared to suggest that she is a gold digger. But now it seems, her opinion about her has changed. April Kepner has grown on her and almost everyone else too. Even the ones who have hated her at some point in the hospital.
After sending my mother out of my apartment with a promise to have dinner within a week. I dial Tarjei and tell him that I would like to meet him. He easily agreed and I made an offer to come into April's apartment today's evening. It seems to surprise him, but he takes my offer. After ending a phone call it seems like life is starting to go in the right direction.
APRIL KEPNER, IN THE HOTELROOM
I must start thinking harder. Someone is threatening to go after the people I care and love the most. Why do so much for almost nothing? Who could it be?
I know it has to be someone who knows about Jackson. Our marriage is easy to confirm online. You only have to know both names and basically that's it. Also there was a notice shortly made by the Harper Avery Foundation after our marriage became public.
But now in reality, it has to be someone who has ties with the Middle-East and has known me for more than 15 years. If I think about those requirements then there are so many people that fall under those.
At first there are people who I am quite close with. I mean not close enough to label them as friends, but enough to deeply care about their lives. Secondly, there are people who hated me at first, but then we started to get along. In that list there are so many. At first Charles and Hera and in the end almost everyone in the hospital. Thirdly, there are people who hate me and that list is long unfortunately. It starts with pissed politicians and ends with terrorists from Middle-East and Europe.
After all of that thinking I have no idea which direction to go with those ideas. The possibilities are huge if I don't consider those close to me. I have no idea where to go. So for now I am going to put this problem away because I don't know what to do with it. I feel how my body is physically and emotionally tired. Everything is taking its toll on my mind and body.
I think that I should visit one of my informators or more like a family of informators from that time when I was in the Armed Forces. They were quite liable and trustworthy. With some of them I have kept in touch through the internet. During our conversations through the years they have told me what is going on in this country. Also they have shared their troubles, fears and bits of happiness. They are like family members to me. Sometimes I have even sent them a little bit of money when they have had big troubles. I have tried to do my best so that they would have a decent living quality in a place that is nowhere close to other countries.
After all the hard thinking and memories about Halela's I do what is best for me. I wash myself under a shower and then head to bed. After I have made it to bed I just try to start relaxing. Eventually I fall asleep in a country that is so close to me yet a total stranger.
JACKSON AVERY, APRIL'S APARTMENT
I am not sure about my actions and plan. I still need to convince him and maybe even Charles. I have tried to keep regular touch with Charles. I am afraid that I am a burden on him although he never gives any signs of it. We started our Facebook conversations with mostly talking about April. We spoke about what happened to her in the military and what he knows.
He also told me how Tarjei has become April's biggest ally. April has taken several bullets because of him in the past, she has taken care of him after his girlfriend or as he said "The Love of His Life" died during an avalanche in Switzerland and she took care of him after going through imprisonment by terrorists. Tarjei himself has helped April in everyday life when she doesn't know what to do or just needs to talk. He is a very good listener and gives advice. Now I understand where she has gotten some advice and the reasons she has made some decisions.
After all of that we also have talked about everything else. It has come out that the guy is a pretty avid sports fan. We talk about basketball, soccer, football and many others. Talking with him seems as if talking to an old friend. He never pries too much and always gives space. I totally understand now all that April said about him. But now I have to go and do the right thing and in order to do that I need his and maybe Charles's help.
At the moment I am standing behind April's apartment door with a duffel bag full of cash. I need to be sure about my actions because they are huge decisions which consequences might be awful to me and her. I carefully knock on the door and say that it is Jackson.
Only a couple seconds later Tarjei opens a door and lets me come in. I look a little bit around while we go inside. I see that he has kept the apartment quite clean. Nothing indicates that the rooms were once turned upside down. I sit on the couch and I immediately start talking by telling him that I, Chris, Charles and Eileen found a duffel bag full of different currencies.
What I said seemed not to surprise him so I kept talking. I tell him about what we did in the apartment and what I have got to know about my wife's history.
He doesn't say anything to me at first but then after a couple seconds he tells me with a serious face something that I would have never expected. He tells me that before I make decisions he has to ask what I know about April's relationships with Wesley or Elena? He also says that I should know about it because he is afraid that the reasons of what happened with them still follow April although it has been nearly two decades.
I don't know what to say. Where does he want to go with his question? I am not understanding it. What is he going to tell me? So I just shrug my shoulders and signal him to continue. It seems to satisfy him.
He tells me that there are some facts that Charles doesn't know about them but they should be known to you. He continues by telling me that April once might have been almost engaged to Wesley. Now that was unexpected.
