Ronald: You think you know the story of Mulan, eh? Well, I suppose that once again it is up to me to tell you how it really came down-with a surprising twist. Long ago, the land of Ji-Hou was invaded by the fearsome Black Claw. It was a quiet night for one guard, and then the night became stressful!
(A Ji-Hou walks around his post. Suddenly, a bird of prey hits the back of his head ...)
Soldier: Ah!
[The falcon lets out a call. The soldier walks over to the edge of the wall. A hook comes flying up, followed by many more.]
Soldier(Running back to his post): We're under attack! Light the signal!
(The door opens, revealing Tor and Barad. The soldier climbs up the ladder.)
Ronald: The man may have been brave, but no mortal can easily get out alive and not expect to see the son of Wu Han to arrive! Ah, but this trooper soldiered on!
Soldier: Now all of Ji-Hou knows you're here.
Kai Han: Perfect. It'll all be over for your land soon enough!
Ronald: General Dai Deng reported to his master over this. He said that Wu Han's child had come to not only avenge his father, but to finish what he had started! The emperor called for a mass recruitment drive, and that is where the Yin clan comes to focus.
Mei: Quiet and demure...graceful, polite, delicate, refined, poised...punctual!
Ronald: She was to meet the matchmaker today, while her sister Cho worked on the chores along with their brother Sho. Mei just had to bring their father Bao his daily tea.
Mei: Father, I brought you some ... Whoop!
Bao: Mei...
Mei: I brought a spare!
Bao: Mei...
Mei: Remember, the doctor said three cups of tea in the morning...
Bao: Mei.
Mei:...and three at night.
Bao: Mei. You should already be in town. We're counting on you to ...
Mei: Uphold the family honor. Don't worry, Father. I won't let you down. Wish me luck!
Bao: Hurry! I'm going to ... pray some more.
Ronald: Now, in a busy village was where Mei needed to go. She was already late as it was, and even she knew it. And that meant her mother wouldn't be too happy.
Woman: Pema, where is your daughter? The Matchmaker is not a patient woman.
Pema: Of all the days to be late! I should have prayed to the ancestors for luck.
Granny Fei: How lucky can they be? They're dead. Besides, I've got all the luck we'll need.(Holds up a wicker cage with a cricket inside.)This is your chance to prove yourself.
(Ako, the cricket-or at least he is, is inside)
Ako: Squeak.(Aw man, I hope she doesn't do anything crazy.)
[She closes her eyes and steps off the sidewalk.]
Pema: Grandma! No!
(Granny Fei walks across the street; vehicles crash, but she emerges unharmed.)
Granny Fei: Yup! This cricket's a lucky one!
Ako: Squeak.(Yeah, lucky to be alive that is.)
Mei: I'm here! What? But, Mama, I had to-
Pema: None of your excuses. Now, let's get you cleaned up.
Sho(having just returned from his chores): Yeah, you have a Matchmaker to meet.
Bather(singing): This is what you give me to work with? Well, honey, I've seen worse. We're gonna turn this sow's ear into a silk purse.
Mei: It's freezing!
Pema: It would've been warm if you were here on time.
Bather(singing): We'll have you washed and dried. Primped and polished till you glow with pride. Trust my recipe for instant bride. You'll bring honor to us all.
Pema: Mei, what's this?
Mei: Uh...notes. In case I forget something.
Grandmother Fei: Hold this. We're going to need more luck than I thought.
Hairdressers(singing): Wait and see. When we're through. Boys will gladly go to war for you. With good fortune and a great hairdo-You'll bring honor to us all.
Villagers(singing): A girl can bring her family great honor in one way. By striking a good match and this could be the day!
Dressmakers(singing): Men want girls with good taste.
Woman: Calm.
Pema: Obedient.
Dressmakers: Who work fast paced.
Pema(singing): With good breeding...
Dressmakers: And a tiny waist-You'll bring honor to us all
Villagers(singing): We all must serve our emperor who guards us from danger's thumb. A man by bearing arms. A girl by bearing sons
Makeup Artist and Pema(In a round): When we're through, you can't fail like a lotus blossom soft and pale. How could any fellow say "No sale"-You'll bring honor to us all.
Pema: There-you're ready.
Grandma Fei: Not yet. An apple for serenity... A pendant for balance...(singing)Beads of jade for beauty. You must proudly show it. Now, add a cricket just for luck. And even you can't blow it.
Mei(singing): Ancestors, hear my plea. Help me not to make a fool of me, and to not uproot my family tree. Keep my father standing tall!
Mei and Girls(singing): Scarier than the undertaker. We are meeting our matchmaker.
Villagers(singing): Destiny. Guard our girls. And our future as it fast unfurls. Please look kindly on these cultured pearls. Each a perfect porcelain doll.
Girls and Villagers(singing): Yes, bring honor to us... Yes, bring honor to us... Yes, bring honor to us... Yes, bring honor to us... Yes, bring honor to us all!
Ronald: Now, Madame Hua was the local matchmaker in this place. She may be tall, but she certainly is fierce!
Madame Hua: Mei Yin?
Mei: Present!
Madame Hua: Speaking without permission...never a good sign.
Mei: Oops...
Granny Fei: Who spit in her bean curd?
Madame Hua: Too skinny...not good for bearing sons.(Ako hops out of his cage, Mei frantically tries to put him back in.)Recite the Final Admonition.
Mei: Fulfill your duties, calmly and... respectively. Um, reflect before you... snack. Act! This shall bring you honor and glory.
Madame Hua: Excellent. This way. Now, pour the tea. To please your future in-laws, you must demonstrate a sense of dignity and refinement. You must also be poised.
[Mei, staring at the now black-faced Matchmaker, pours the tea but is distracted by the markings and misses the cup, then regains her composure and quickly fills the teacup. Mei notices Ako relaxing happily in the tea. Madame Hua takes the teacup and is about to sip it.)
Mei: Um, pardon me...
Madame Hua: And silent!
Ronald: Now, Ako didn't realize this, but he'd stirred up a heap of trouble. His antics even got Madame Hua's butt on fire!
Madame Hua: Put it out! Put it out! PUT IT OUT!(furious)You are a DISGRACE! You may look like a bride, but you will NEVER bring your family honor!
