A/N: Hey, thanks so much for the reviews. Here's a longer chapter for you guys. Thanks to everyone who's checked out my story so far. I've added a warning for this one due to the content, so be warned. Enjoy.

Warning: Adult Themes / Sexual content / Rape


Chapter Four

JON POV

I've done some serious soul searching this past hour. In between dozing off of course. I can still feel Clary's lips on my skin and my stomach aches, this longing is getting worse by the hour. From my soul searching I have come up with a plan, that is if I actually have a soul. I must have at least half a soul, right? I want this time here in New York to be good for Clary. She deserves it. So I will get this possessive streak under control. I will play nice with the Lightwoods, including Jace and I will love Clary like a brother should.

We're going out tonight, so first things first I will find a pretty girl to fuck. Yes, that's what I need. It's been a while. Too long actually. That's why I'm probably running high and out of control. So yes, a fuck it is. I could slap my back approvingly for this. 'You've got this,' I tell myself. We're in New York, so getting a little kinky fairy in my bed or some demon for a hard core session shouldn't be a problem. This, I tell myself will fix the problem. I smile and bump into Jace, three quick breaths before I actually succeed in killing him this time.

"Hey Jace," I try to look approachable, nevertheless he takes a step back. Ok maybe I scared him earlier. "Sorry about earlier, I get really bad headaches sometimes, but Clary has sorted me out with some strong iratzes, want to show me to my room?" I add another smile, smoothing over the lie and I can see him visibly relax.

"'Sure no problem, follow me this way."

Well if this wasn't easy, I can do this, for Clary. We walk down the hallway chatting and it's actually going ok, perhaps Clary was right and I can make a friend. We talk about training and I agree to have a sparring session the next day. Obviously he will lose, I grin to myself devilishly. Not only do I have demon blood, Valentine also trained me from a very young age. The last ten years I spent training with Clary. Surprisingly, she's the strongest opponent I've encountered so far. I used to question it, how this delicate creature could be so strong. It must be the mix of the Fairchild and Morgenstern blood, good genes and all. Actually, I'm pretty sure that Clary would most definitely beat this cocky bastard. My grin gets bigger and I add quickly, "Actually, why don't you spar with Clary first, she's the only one who can ever beat me on occasion, so it'll be a good warm up for you."

Jace bursts out laughing, "Man, I'm the strongest guy here, so Clary will be down in thirty seconds flat. You sure about that?"

"Definitely," I respond, trying very hard not to look too eager.

"Yeah sure, if that's what it takes to fight your Highness," he shoves me playfully.

This is good, he's in for a shock tomorrow and I'd love for someone to wipe that grin off his face for me. Also, Clary will see this as me making an effort, me organising a sparring session, like the good team player that I am, she'll like that.

Finally we arrive at my room. "My room is just over there," Jace points me in the direction of his room, "So you know where to find me if you ever need anything. It's really great to have you guys here."

" Yeah, it is." I agree and wave to Jace as I enter my room, "I see you later then." He seemed amicable just now. I feel a little bit of hope that this will work out. I will be fine and Clary will be happy. I will make her happy. I will give her a little bit more freedom from me. Perhaps Luke was right. I'm going to be glad for her to experience everything, to date if that's what she wants. Of course, I'll be there on her side. As her protector of sorts. I'll be the one person who will never let her down. I've got this. I love Clary and I'll do anything to make her happy.

Clary POV

"Come in," I shout as Izzy enters the room looking hot. "Hey girl you're looking super sexy, I will definitely look like an innocent fairy next to your sexy bod." She grins and I see her holding up a little black number and very high heels.

"Well, Izzy to the rescue," she points at the clothing and adds happily, "Since I've not had a chance to peruse your wardrobe yet and I know how conservative looking Idris fashion can be, I thought I'll get you something out of my wardrobe, I hope that's ok?" She peers at me expectantly.

I beam at her, "It all depends on whether that black scrap is a top or a dress?"

"Of course it's a dress Clary. And before you say anything. Just try it on. You will look super sexy in this, I promise! Plus, I saw Jace checking you out earlier, so yeah he won't be able to take his eyes off you once he sees you in this," she adds with a big grin on her face and I can feel myself blushing.

Izzy chuckles, "Don't worry, he tends to have that effect on girls, he's a bit of a player, so just watch your heart girl, ok?" I nod, as I grab the dress and move to the bathroom to get changed. I leave the door open, so we can continue chatting. "So how's life been in Idris, I'm close with the Blackthorns, but they said that you and Jon don't really socialise, is that right?"

I'm quiet for a moment trying to think of an answer, then Izzy adds hastily, "Sorry, I always speak before I think, I didn't mean to be nosy."

"No, no that's ok. I guess you've heard about Jon, how he was raised by Valentine?" I pause, then continue, "So I guess his young years have made him a bit antisocial and I guess, I always felt a bit guilty leaving him behind. When we decided to move to New York together, it felt like a fresh start you know, some place where he can leave the past in the past and it'll be easier for us to integrate I guess, with more people around and you know how clicky Idris can be, right?" I look at her pointedly and smile.

"Yeah, sorry you're right...and thanks for sharing that with me Clary, I won't say anything, promise."

I can feel straight away that Izzy can be trusted. I didn't ask her to keep it quiet, but she offered to, anyway. She also didn't push for more answers regarding Jon and Valentine. I hate that we're associated with him, but Izzy hasn't tried asking one Valentine related question, which I'm grateful for. As a potential friend, she definitely passed with flying colours. I smile at her warmly as I step out of the bathroom in the shortest dress I have ever worn.

She whistles in approval and points me to the dressing table. "Hair and make up next, trust me girl, now you have me to keep you looking your best at all times, the NY guys won't know what hit them!" I'm nervous at that, as I've never let anyone close to my face, let alone hair. She must see me hesitate as she smiles encouragingly at me, "I'm really good at this stuff, trust me." I concede and hope it's going to be up to par.

Forty minutes later Izzy swivels me around in the chair and the girl I see in the mirror is unrecognizable to me. I look beautiful. I mean I know I'm pretty, but due to my slight frame, pale skin and freckles, I also feel like I look younger than seventeen. This girl with smoky eyes dusted with golden sparkle across her cheeks looks back at me and she looks alluring. My hair is pinned to the side with intricate braids and waves falling over my left shoulder. I love it. "Izzy," I exclaim. "This is just, wow, just wow!"

She smiles proudly, "Told you so."

"Well Izz, I guess from now on you're my permanent beautician, make-up artist, and hairdresser all in three." I can see that response makes her happy, which makes me feel like she also longs for a girlfriend like I have been. I know Jon is everything to me, but these girly things, they're fun and much needed.

Xxx

We meet the boys by the front entrance. Jace whistles approvingly and I can see that he likes what he sees. I turn towards Jon and get a little electric shock. His eyes are pitch black, his face has gone more defined, he looks starved in a way, it only lasts a second before he seems to catch himself, clears his throat, his face returns to normal and he says "You ladies look lovely," followed by a very un Jonathan like smile. I look around but luckily no one else seems to have noticed his demonic face. We start heading out, but I'm shook. What was that look? He looked at me like he wanted to kill me, not ever has he looked at me like this. I'm his Clary, I get to see his lovely chocolate brown eyes and warm smile. I must have imagined it. Or something else has set him off. It couldn't have been me he looked at like that, it just couldn't. He's said himself, I'm the only person he's never wanted to kill. If I didn't know any better, it was a mix of hunger and anger. I shake my head and return to the present. I can hear Jon engaging the guys in conversation, too. He seems absolutely fine now, so I must have imagined it.

JON POV

Breathe. Breathe. One step. Door. Two steps. People. I need a girl. A pretty girl. Now. Quickly. I'm shaking. I picture Clary again in that ridiculously short dress. She's the most beautiful girl. I picture her soft smoky eyes and bow shaped lips. The shape of her breasts. My dick is rock hard. Her ass. Fuck, that little ass of hers. I can feel my dick twitching in response to my thoughts. This is not good. Not good. After I had my head sorted out this afternoon, she went and turned herself into the sexiest girl I've ever seen. I don't even know how I managed to get to the club without the demon within me dragging her off into an alleyway.

He wants her so much. I'm struggling to keep hold of myself. I need to fuck something now. Right this second. Before I turn around like the demon demands and throw myself at Clary. MY SISTER you freak! We're in a mundane club. A mundane it is then. There, a little brunette, pretty almond shaped eyes, good figure. She'll do it for me. I hope. I put my seductive smile on as I stroll towards her. "Hey pretty girl." That's kind of all I need to say. Straight away I can scent her arousal as her eyes scan my body and face. She obviously likes what she's seeing, and I have my in. I lean into her, kiss her neck and lightly stroke her breasts using the back of my hand. She moans, to which I whisper into her ear, "Come pretty girl, I'll treat you to seven minutes in heaven." She follows like a sheep. This was almost too easy. A few words and that's all. Or I'm just really good at this. Humans are a lot easier to seduce to be fair. They see the otherworldliness of us and it draws them into our web.

I find an empty stall in the bathroom and pull her in. I push her against the wall and kiss her hungrily. Instantly my mind is taking me elsewhere. No. No. No. This was supposed to be a distraction from Her. I can't help it, I see my hands moving through red strands not brown. I see green eyes. My hands glide over a little black dress. I want to despair, but my demon wants this imaginary...whatever it is, too much. I'm overpowered. So I hook one of her legs around my waist and start grinding my hips against hers. I press my dick into her soft center and rub it up and down, getting breathy moans out of this girl. Still, all I can see is Clary and it hurts. It so fucking hurts that she's on my mind. My demon approves and I try to fight it, but I lose this awful battle. I need a breather. Otherwise I'm going to drive myself mad. That's it. I make a quick decision to stick the moral compass to the back of my mind and give the demon free rain.

He rejoices and I'm immediately fully immersed in this Clary vision. She's all I see and I'm aching to come inside of her. I lick her neck. I bite her breast through the fabric of her dress. I yank her dress and bra down to her waist in one smooth pull. Her breasts are completely exposed to me. I take in the sight. I begin tugging her nipples, biting them delicately with my teeth. Licking and sucking and tugging over and over again. I get the girl all hot and bothered, she's moaning and enjoying it so far. If only she knew what awaits her. I return to my Clary vision and whisper to her how beautiful she is and how perfect she is and how I will fit perfectly inside of her. Because she's mine, made for me. I moan Clary's name against her neck. My hand finds its way underneath the dress, between her legs, I rip her underwear apart and my fingers strokes her already wet sex. I lightly spread her folds and start rubbing her sweet spot. The girl moans loudly. I can smell her arousal getting stronger. One finger enters her, followed by another and she starts riding my hand. "That's it Clary," I groan as I continue tugging on her nipples. This is absolute heaven or hell.

"Alice," She moans, "My name is Alice." I take no notice of her.

The Clary in my reverie is getting breathier, "Come for me Clary," I groan as I move my hand faster across her soaked sex. She's close. I want to taste her orgasm. I get down on my knees and take her in my mouth, instantly she explodes, screaming in ecstasy. I slowly move my tongue over her clit, riding out the high for her and picture my Clary and how she would sound like orgasming from me, it almost sends me over the edge.

I get back up, pull down my pants, turn the girl around, lift her hips towards me and with one powerful thrust I'm inside her. My vision at this point has taken complete control of me. I see my little sister in front of me. Her thick red hair falling down her bare back. I twist it in my hands and yank her head towards me. I lick her all over and taste every inch of her. I'm so turned on right now, so I fuck her faster and faster and she moans and gets louder. I bite the side of her neck. But it's not enough. I want to mark her. I pinch the sides of her hips. Hard. My fingertips push against her soft flesh and break the surface. I instantly hear her whimpering instead of moaning and it gets me hot. I dig my fingers in deeper, blood starts seeping out around the wounds. At this point I think she may be crying and the thought that she's hurting turns me on even more. I smear the blood all across her hips and ass, but I don't want to taste it. No, the illusion isn't that strong. The demon wants more, always more. I push her forward and get hold of her neck, I choke her slightly using my left hand, just enough to bruise, that much I can control. She starts struggling against me, trying to get away, but my grip is like steel. She's not going anywhere. I lean forward and bite her waist hard, but not hard enough to break the skin. The idea of tasting her blood revolts me somehow. I continue biting her skin all over, leaving deep bite marks. She whimpers in pain and the demon rolls around in the sound. I pause my ministrations and start pounding her really hard, over and over again. I'm completely immersed in the feel of my dick rocking into her wet center, and the sight of the blood all across her back. I run my fingertips across it, leaving additional deep scratch marks. Through the haze I think I hear her crying out in pain and shouting for me to stop, but I'm too far gone. I'm so close, I'm so fucking close. I groan out in pleasure and call out Clary's name as I climax. I keep my eyes closed for a while, riveting the experience. I pull myself out of the girl and she slides to the floor.

I slowly come back to myself, open my eyes and see the mess I've made of her back and hips. I hear her quiet sobbing. She's frozen in place and not moving. There's blood smeared all across her sides; she's bruised all over; fingerprints, scratch marks and also prominent bite marks cover her from top to bottom. The realisation of what I've just done hits me with full force. I'm going to be sick. I pull up my trousers and literally run out as I reach the sink just in time to throw up. Once my stomach is empty, I clean my face with cold water and look up at my reflection. The demon slumbers happily at the back of my mind and I can still hear the quiet sobbing coming from the cubicle. I see the monster I am. It makes me want to throw up again.

I can't stay here. I have to go. I can't see Clary after what I've just done. My stomach churns. I'm utterly disgusted with myself and I wish I could just go back to my demon side permanently, this feeling of despair is killing me. I'm such a disgusting disappointment. Now, I can also add 'potential rapist' to the list. Valentine was right. I am a monster and no one will ever love me. I hate myself for what I did to the girl back there. Why did I let go of my humanity for that split second? The regret is punching huge holes into my stomach. I can feel that goddamn awful demon scratching at the sides again.

I grab some paper towels and soak them in water. I find the girl still on the floor, in shock I guess. She sees me and tries to push herself away from me. Her body is shivering. Definitely in shock. What have I done?

I try to lift her up, but she's pulling away from me, flinching. "Let me help you, ok?" She shakes her head hysterically. So I try again, "Let me help you willingly or I'll force it on you. Your choice." I can smell the fear in her. She stills. Good girl. I lift her up and set her on the toilet seat. I take one of the wet paper towels and wipe it across her back and hips to get the blood off. I then bite my wrist and start smearing some of my demon blood across the open wounds and they close instantly. Oh yeah, my blood can be magic for some things. The girl is too shaken to notice anything supernatural. I can't do anything about the bruising or bite marks, but this will have to do. I clean her back, wiping away the rest of the blood, zip her dress up and turn her around. I look at her using my dark gaze, "There you go, it looks better already. Hand me your purse." She's too scared not to. I open her purse and find her driving license. I read out her address and add, "Now, if you speak of our little encounter to anyone and that is ANYONE. I will know and I will find you and I promise you, you won't be getting away with a few bruises and marks next time." She stares at me dazedly. "Do we understand each other?" She nods slowly. "I need to hear you say it."

A whispered "Yes," escapes her and then louder, "Yes, I won't mention it."

I turn around and move towards the sink. I still feel on edge. I catch my reflection and the complete resentment that I feel towards myself overwhelms me. I punch the mirror, breaking it in a thousand pieces. There's glass embedded in my knuckles now. 'Fuck', I think I'm losing it.

I need a good killing spree. Yes that will sort me out, some dead demons will get my head straight. I text Clary saying that I don't feel good and that I'll see her tomorrow and turn around. There is the bloody brunette. Why hasn't she left yet? Stupid mundanes. I rage silently, I should most definitely kill her for what she made me do. Because of her, I imagined fucking Clary for fuck's sake.

I need to leave. If I stay any longer, she will die. I hear her say something, but my mind is frozen on one thought and one thought only. I need to kill something. Demons to be exact. I'm going to be brutal and use my hands and teeth, no weapons. Weapons are for children. I'm going to crush some bones and skulls and rip some heads off. Bite necks off. To the point where I'm feasting on demon blood. I can't wait. I start walking past the girl who is still frozen in place. You'd really think she would have made a run for it by now. I hear her repeating herself, "Alice, my name is Alice. Not Clary". The additional reminder of what I've just done could be her death sentence. But no, I get myself into check and bark at her, "Don't worry, I'll find you," as I walk out the door.


A/N: Phew that got a bit darker, didn't it? I kept editing it and the more I did, the more disturbed it got...so I'm leaving this alone now before I spoil it. What did you think? I think this could well be the beginning of Jonathan's hell...we shall see. Until next time.