Eight months.
He hadn't seen his wife in eight months, except for the mirror calls where she would sit next to Harry that were few and far between. They had only been married for a few minutes before they had separated; before she went off on a potential suicide mission with his godson and their best friend.
Sirius could only equate the ache he felt to having his right half missing from his side. A phantom limb that throbbed even though it wasn't there. If it weren't for her heartbeat pressed against his – her soul wrapped in his – he wouldn't even know if she was still alive. He could feel her panic, and her fear, her despair, but at least he could still feel her. In the dark, in the quiet nights, he would concentrate on her heartbeat, because even if she was scared he could feel that she was living, and it was the only comfort he had.
He and a small team had been sent on a scouting mission, with the intention of it turning into a rescue if possible. They had gotten wind that Ollivander and others were potentially being held hostage in the building and were hoping to extract them quietly. From what they gathered in the last five minutes since arriving, was that all of the wards of the Malfoy manor were down except the anti-apparition wards. As it was the Death Eater headquarters and snatchers and various ministry employees that weren't inducted into the inner circle needed access, there were too many people coming and going from the building to maintain any standard protection spells. The trade off was that it was a variable fortress. It was guarded by what seemed like an army, which makes it tricky but hopefully not impossible.
Sirius watched the manor from a distance. Crouched behind a low stone wall that marked the edge of the property, using a pair of specs that had been spelled to act as his binoculars. Beside him Karl Sloper and his wife, Roberta, were also scoping out the walls. They had joined the Order recently after Karl had been rescued and sheltered from being rounded up for interview by the Muggle-born Commision panel.
"I'm going to make my way 'round," Sirius informed them in a hushed voice; despite the obvious distance between them and their threat. "I'll meet up with Remus and reconvene here in thirty minutes."
"Sure, we'll get a wand count from this angle in the meantime," answered Roberta, seeming a little too excited about this mission. But Sirius couldn't blame her for wanting to cause some havoc on the Death Eaters.
Nodding, he shifted into his massive, black, wolf-dog form, and loped around the right edge of the stone fence. Although his cover as an animagus had been blown when Peter rejoined Voldemort, it still proved to be an effective disguise most of the time. No one would have time to be suspicious of every black dog they encountered roaming Great Britain. Even still, he did his best to stay out of sight as he sniffed and spotted the various grunts guarding the building.
In the time he took to find his friend he felt that the worst happened. He felt her soul writhe, her heart pounding as though it were going to explode. His own heartbeat had sped up, feeling like a drum, thrumming terror through his vains, and his soul seared and scorched inside and around him. It nearly made him collapse. She was in so much pain.
With his heightened senses, he could smell the blood, mixed with fear raising from the building. It was a nauseous odor. When he caught up with Remus crouched around the eastern side of the wall some meters nearer to the mansion, he found that he wasn't faring well with the smell.
His best friend looked green. His werewolf senses would be able to pick up more than even Padfoot could. Add to it that Tonks was so close to giving birth to their child, Remus was hypersensitive and his instincts were in overdrive. Even his normally blue eyes were rimmed a glowing amber, signaling that Moony had some foothold on the man's mind.
Nudging the man's shoulder with his nose, Padfoot looked at him expectantly.
"Fenrir and Dolohov apparated by the north end. They seemed excited," he said, the gravel hovering around the edges of his voice hiding a growl. "I heard screaming not long ago."
His stomach, already uneasy, rolled at the words. Sirius transformed in order to speak properly.
"Did he catch your scent?" He asked, worried. He peeked his head over the wall checking the grounds around the building.
"If he did, he didn't make it obvious," replied Remus. "The wind is in our favor and the smell of blood would excite him enough to distract from noticing anything else. It probably masked us well enough." His head was tilted to one side as though straining to hear something. He grimaced as a faint sound came floating from the stone building.
At the same time he felt Hermione's heart race quickly against his chest with little strength. She was already scared and in pain, but it continued to grow in intensity. Sirius struggled to concentrate and his concern grew at the look on Remus' face.
"What is it?" Asked Sirius, gritting his teeth against the helplessness he felt.
"They're torturing someone in there," Remus hissed in distress. "Sounds like a woman."
A horrible thought came to Sirius. A horrible, terrible, heart breaking thought, that almost made him dash straight into the manor, even knowing it was near certain death to do so.
Remus grabbed him by the arm, some instinct telling him that his friend was about to bolt.
"What's wrong?" The werewolf asked sharply. The amber ring around his iris thickening.
Sirius didn't say anything as he pressed a hand to his breast as though it would help him feel her heartbeat better. He was alarmed to feel it slow dramatically.
"Is she still screaming?" He asked in a whisper, trying to not impede Remus' hearing.
"No, it just cut off," answered Remus, looking at his friend in confused concern.
It could be a coincidence, but Sirius had a gut feeling it wasn't. He had never told his best friend about his impromptu marriage. There was no shame, but it was something he wanted to hold close to his heart until they could be free to live their lives. But right now, he needed to know, needed to be sure, if it was her; and if it was, he needed to get her out.
"I think it's Hermione," he said, turning in a rush. He was trying to maintain a level head and scope out the rest of the grounds as he moved but there was a manic feeling bubbling up. They needed to get back to Karl and Roberta so they could formulate a plan of action. Quickly. If they didn't, Sirius was two steps away from storming the Malfoy Manor by himself. Screw the consequences.
"What?" Remus tightened his grip on Sirius' arm and yanked, spinning him to look at him. "Why do you think that?" He asked, alarm palpable in his voice.
Sirius' head spun, anxiety making him vibrate. "We're soul bound," he explained, tugging on his arm. Remus didn't budge though.
"What do you mean?" He asked, trepidation adding a new note to his tone.
"Anima Ligans, we performed the spell right before they left," Sirius answered, finally successful in getting Remus to move his legs. They could talk and move at the same time.
"You married Hermione?" Incredulity replaced the trepidation. "Wait. That vow is about as impossible to break as the unspeakable vow. Sirius, what did you do?!"
"We can talk about it later," Sirius said, ignoring the other man's question. He was scanning the windows of the big house, looking for guards posted and side entrances.
"Sirius, what were you thinking? She's nineteen!"
Sirius stopped and spun to face his friend, glaring into the amber and blue eyes of his brother. "She's old enough to fight a war, Remus! She's old enough to be on the run, on a goddamn secret mission while she and Harry have the top bounties in the country on their heads, with no support but her two best friends!" His voice was straining in the effort to not scream and give them away. "Do you really think Hermione is too young to decide she wants to marry me? Or do you think I forced her? That I coerced her into it?"
Sirius didn't even let Remus speak, he just continued on his way. Trying to convince him would just result in even more lost time. Her heartbeat was still there. Weak and slow, but still there. He assumed that she was passed out, since heart rates typically drop off when someone faints.
"Sirius?!" His name came floating from a disembodied voice. "Sirius?! Are you there? We're in the cellar of the Malfoy Manor, help us!"
Scrambling to unzip the jacket pocket he kept his two way mirror in, Sirius whipped it out as quickly as he could. His godson face looked terrible. It was swollen enough to disfigure his features.
Deciding to pay mind to that after they got them out Sirius answered the call
"Harry! We're already here, we're going to figure something out, Pup," he said, hopefully in a reassuring way. He couldn't count on it, he was frazzled beyond belief at that moment. "What can you tell me? Are you alone? Is there anyone else with you?" He asked, leaving the scouting to Remus as they trekked back to their rendezvous.
"No, Mr. Ollivander is with us, so is Luna, and a goblin named Griphook," Harry said in a hushed whisper. "We were caught by five Snatchers. Pettigrew, the Malfoy's, and Bellatrix are also here. If there's anyone else we didn't see them. They don't know that it's me for sure, Hermione cast a stinging jinx on me to hide my identity but that's not going to last long." A scream rose up in the background. It was much clearer to hear through the mirror, than through the stone walls and over the hill. Harry's face went ridged at the sound.
Sirius had to fight the gasp that was nearly ripped out of him.
"They have Hermione," said a voice. Ginger hair appeared in the behind Harry and Ron's wet, blue eyes found his.
Sirius grit his teeth, the feeling of her distress was agonizing. Hearing it so clearly was worse, and seeing the frightened faces of his godson and his best friend was the worst of all.
"We'll get you out. All of you," he assured Harry.
"Keep your head down," said Remus. "Contact us if you have new information, but try not to call us unless you absolutely need to. We don't want to risk letting them know you have outside contact."
Harry nodded, looking more reassured than before.
"We're coming, Pup."
"Thanks, Sirius," Harry cracked a painful looking smile.
Sirius pocketed the mirror and redoubled his pace. They reached Karl and Roberta and relayed all the information they gathered as well as their contact with Harry inside.
"If they realize that it's Harry, they're going to alert You-Know-Who," said Roberta. She was sitting cross-legged against the stone wall. "Do we call for backup?"
"Even if we got backup we'd have to fight our way in, since there are anti-apparition wards up on the house and property. And, if we brought in that many people they'd probably realize pretty quickly who they have," pointed out Karl levelly. "They'd call their Lord before we even reached the front door."
"So, we need to somehow get in without notice. Is there an entrance to the cellar outside?" Asked Roberta, looking between Remus and Sirius.
"No," answered Remus, rubbing his upper lip, looking into the middle ground blankly. "We can't fight our way in, but we also don't have a way to sneak in either, unless we got a hold of a couple of invisibility cloaks. And the only two I know of are inaccessible to us right now. So, we need something out of the box."
They all went quiet for a bit, each wracking their brains for a solution. It was frustrating. It felt like days had passed since Sirius first felt the jolt of desperate despair from Hermione but, in reality it couldn't have been more than forty-five minutes, at the most. Since then Sirius had had to grit his teeth. He took a moment to press the heels of his hands to his eyes to contain the terror threatening to leak out of his eyes. He allowed himself ten seconds, letting her frantic heartbeats consume his focus before bringing himself back to the situation at hand.
She was still alive.
He had to stay alive, too. For her.
He had to think of a way to get her out. They couldn't get in without being detected. The house stood out in the open, the only cover was the line of decorative shrubs that lined the walkway and the fence wall was too far out to make a mad dash for the house, with the constant patrol and watch from the windows they'd be spotted immediately. Apparition wasn't an option either as everything inside the stone wall was warded from any witch or wizard.
Sirius paused on that thought. It was warded from human magic. He looked up at his silent companions.
"Dobby," he said, breaking the circle of contemplation.
Remus looked startled for a moment, before grinning. "Brilliant!" He clapped his friend on the shoulder. Relief at a feasible plan was palpable.
"What's Dobby?" Asked Roberta, looking hopeful but confused.
"Dobby is the Malfoy's former house elf," explained Sirius, looking at the blond woman.
"Harry tricked Lucius Malfoy into freeing Dobby back in his second year. He now has a salaried job in the Hogwarts kitchens and is completely loyal to Harry and his friends," Remus informed the couple when they continued to look confused. "Anti-apparition wards don't work on them. Meaning we can use Dobby to get into the manor. He also would know the layout better than anyone." There was an excited light in the werewolf's eyes. "It's genius, Padfoot!"
Hope really does him good, Sirius couldn't help thinking, as he watched Remus cast a patronus.
"Dobby, we need your help getting into the Malfoy Manor. Harry, Ron, and Hermione are being held along with three other known captives. Me, Sirius and two other Order members are outside, by the south wall, unable to get in," he said in an urgent voice, before sending the glowing specter of a wolf off.
"I am a bit worried. That elf can be a bit dense," commented Sirius, not yet realizing how accurate his words were until ten minutes later.
"Somethings going on," said Karl, who hadn't taken his eyes off of the manor. He tapped his specs and mumbled the spell that would increase the magnification. "Looks like there's an altercation, all the guards are leaving their posts."
It took Sirius half a second to deduce what was going on.
"I knew that elf wouldn't hear anything past 'Harry is captive in the Malfoy manor'!" Sirius growled as he stood and hopped the low wall, dashing towards the manor house. Merlin, they should have left out the part about Harry and just told Dobby to meet them by the south wall.
Sirius cursed the Malfoys' unnecessarily long property. Why did they need a mile of gravel between the border and the front door? He burst into the house, wand raised and not even sure if his compatriots had followed him.
The sight that greeted him made his blood run cold. The room was in shambles. Broken debris from a shattered chandelier covered the floor, the epicenter of the mess was a bloody puddle, the glass shards wet with the viscous fluid.
At the far end of the room was Hermione. Pale and thinner than he'd ever seen her, and more than half drenched in her own blood. She was slumped bodily against Ron, who held her up protectively with one arm. Ollivander, a petite blonde girl, and a goblin were huddled together behind them, against a stone bannister, gripping onto Dobby who stood on top of the railing pointing a wand at the captors in front of them. Harry stood in the forefront also pointing his wand threateningly at the group of Death Eaters.
In the split second Sirius took all this in, Harry had reached back and grabbed Dobby's free hand. As soon as contact was made the swirling magic blurred and distorted the group as the elf started apparating. Bellatrix, who stood in front of Sirius with her back to him, had her arm swung back over head, the glint of a wicked blade in her hand as she snapped her arm in a downward arc. The knife shot forward.
Without thinking, Sirius moved, flicking his wand at the airborne knife, sending it careening to the left where it clattered against the stone wall.
Relief bubbled up in his chest even as Bellatrix rounded, her manic gaze fixated on him. Where Hermione and the others had been, was now just empty space. He could still feel her, weak and in pain as she was, but still gloriously alive.
"Don't let them activate the dark mark!" Karl's voice carried from behind him.
Good, they had followed behind closely. Even though it seems that their opponents had been disarmed he knew at least Bellatrix and Narcissa were both adept at wandless magic. It wouldn't surprise him if Lucius was as well. He had no idea about Dolohov and Greyback, who Sirius had just noticed in a far corner, but he knew that Greyback didn't need magic to be deadly.
"I should have made sure to kill you last time," Bellatrix hissed at him. Her wild curly hair reminded him of writhing snakes, unlike the soft golden roses that made up Hermione's riotous locks.
"Probably. Would have been the smart thing to do," Sirius answered with a nonchalant shrug. "But, we all know how miserably you failed to kill me the last two times we met."
"Yes, well. You know what they say, third time's the charm," she sneered at him.
"You sound so confident for someone who doesn't even have a wand," Remus said mockingly, from Sirius' left.
They all stared at each other for a drawn out moment. Then like a rubber band that had been stretched too far, it snapped. Sirius shot forward, swishing his wand towards his cousin with a flash of light.
Bellatrix raised her hand, blocking the spell that was supposed to knock her back. She skidded a few feet regardless. Sirius kept throwing spells at her, not giving her a chance to take the offensive.
Karl and Roberta dueled Dolohov and Lucius, respectively. And Remus took on Greyback in a difficult looking showdown. The beast of a man was more spell resistant than most humans, and a few times was able to get uncomfortably close to the other werewolf.
Narcissa and her son stood in the corner of the room, huddled together and staying out of the fight. It was something Sirius tucked away to think about later.
"What are you doing just standing there, Draco?" Yelled Lucius at his son. Snarling as he stumbled back from blocking a powerful slicing hex. His normally pristine hair was tangled all around his face. "Call the Dark Lord!"
"Shit!" Sirius looked up from his fight with Bellatrix to see the boy hovering his hand over his left arm. Luckily for Sirius, this didn't give her an opportunity to attack since she also spun to face her nephew.
"Don't!" Was all she could get out before the skull and snake writhed and rippled under his skin.
Before she could turn back to him Sirius dug into his leather jacket and pulled out a few dark pellets and slammed them into the ground. Immediately a wall of pitch black smoke separated him and Bellatrix. He backed away quickly from the growing darkness as she screeched. He took the opportunity to stun Lucius and Dolohov while their backs were turned.
"Get out! Now!" Yelled Sirius at the others, dodging pot shots that were coming from the rolling cloud of ink black. "Head for the east wall and get out of here!"
Roberta and Karl didn't think twice, bolting for the front door at his order. Remus on the other hand was still struggling with growling, gnashing Fenrir Greyback who, despite him not having a wand, had gotten close enough to deliver a few swipes with his inhuman claws.
Without really considering his actions, Sirius shifted into the form of a great shaggy, black wolf-dog and body slammed into the beastly man. His jaws clamped down on his neck, biting into the flesh until he tasted blood and Greyback howled in pain. A sting of claws seared into his side making him let go and leap away. Taking advantage of Greyback still being laid out on the floor, Padfoot ran for the front door, Remus hot on his heel.
Skidding left towards the eastern wall as soon as they crossed the threshold, he almost missed the form of a man walking toward the manor from the south gate. His billowing robes, and the pale skin of a face with inset, red jeweled eyes that no longer resembled a human. It shot panic through him and made him speed up. He knew they had been spotted. A flash of green shot over his head. He flattened his ears down, and glanced to the side to see Remus still running.
They both leapt over the stone wall, Remus' hand closing around the fur on the scruff of Padfoot's neck. As soon as they crossed the barrier, still airborne, he apparated them out. They landed in a gracelss heap in the foyer of Grimmauld Place.
Sirius shifted back into a man and lay against the wall panting, as his mother's portrait woke up to scream bloody murder at them. Remus sat across from him with his eyes closed as he knocked his head back, also taking a moment to decompress, the shrieking painting barely seemed to even register.
With a well practiced flick of his wand, Sirius closed the curtains on her before heaving himself up. He grimaced at the blood stain he left against the wall, and privately was grateful he got hit in his animagus form. Repairing leather, magically or not, wasn't a task he looked forward to.
He fished the mirror out of his pocket and looked into it.
"Harry?" He asked the mirror, quietly. His heart pounded. He watched them escape and stopped the knife that followed them himself but his anxiety wasn't quelled. The mirror was blank, showing neither his godson nor his own reflection. He tried again. "Harry? Hermione, Love?" The heartbeat next to his didn't change, like it did when she usually heard his voice from the mirror. Had she fainted? Why was no one picking up?
Remus had come up to stand at his shoulder. He scrutinized the small mirror, but didn't say anything. He was holding one bleeding shoulder with his other hand, but made no indication of his pain.
There was movement in the dark frame of the glass that had Sirius furrowing his eyebrows. He and Remus both bent over it, trying to see through the dim light, when a face appeared. A lipless grin spread on the face, and red eyes connected with silver-grey.
Instinctively, Sirius hurled the mirror at the wall, shattering it into small, coarse shards. The phantom fingers he felt in his mind had him slamming more layers of defense. His hands shook and Remus, who still stood next to him stared at the pile of mirror shards wide eyed, like it was going to come alive and attack them.
Sirius strode forward and picked up one of the larger pieces, roughly the size of a knut. Tentatively he looked into it and only saw the reflection of his own eye. Once he determined that the spell was no longer potent he banished the mess away.
"Did he get in your head?" Remus asked calmly, but with an urgent lilt that he couldn't quite conceal.
"No. I don't think he got through my shield," Sirius reassured the werewolf.
Remus nodded, still looking a little doubtful but let it go. "Heal me?" He asked, a little awkwardly. How do you change the subject away from having a blood supremacist cult leader trying to infiltrate your mind, gracefully?
Sirius fought a snort. With a small smile, he nodded and let his friend into the sitting room and poured them both three fingers of firewhiskey each. Settling themselves on the sofa he had his friend take his shirt off so he could inspect the gouges after sanitizing his hands.
"Could have been worse," he commented as he summoned his first-aid kit. He cleaned the wound first with magic and then followed up with muggle antiseptics. In his personal opinion and experience blending magical healing and muggle medicine facilitated better results long term. Especially when it came to magically resistant wounds like werewolf scratches and bites.
Crookshanks popped up on the back of the couch and bumped his head against Sirius' forehead; his ginger furred frame thinner than it should have been. His longing for his mistress had made him lose his appetite and energy. He knew Hermione had left him behind with Padfoot for his own safety, but it was never easy for a bonded familiar to be separated from their witch or wizard.
"So…Hermione," began Remus, broaching the subject carefully, but bluntly.
Sirius paused, his hand pressed against one of the claw marks with a cotton pad drenched in hydrogen peroxide. With a steadying breath he continued his work.
"What is it you want to say?" He asked, not looking his friend in the eye.
"Why? Why did you do it?" Remus asked, his tone switching. No longer testing the water.
"Because I love her," Sirius said simply.
"How long?" Remus asked, there was a note of frustration in his voice. "How long had you carried on with her? Can you for sure say that she was ready for this commitment? She's so young…" He was shaking his head.
"James knew Lily was the one when he was eleven years old," Sirius said, firmly. He looked up into his brother's amber rimmed, blue eyes and held them steady with his. "They were nineteen when they married each other. Who are you to say Hermione is too young?"
Remus held his gaze for a moment before looking away, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. "You're twenty years older than her, Padfoot. It's different from Lily and James who were in the same stage of life."
"That's a poor argument and you know it, Moony. You and Tonks are fifteen years apart with a baby on the way, Hermione's own parents are eighteen years apart," he reasoned, tiredly as he dropped dittany carefully on one of the deeper gouges.
Remus growled in frustration. "Yes, but neither Lily and James, Hermione's parents, nor me and Tonks went as far as to bind our souls together," he said, stressing the last words out as if they were damning evidence in a crime.
"Why didn't you?" Asked Sirius, turning the question around on his friend. Remus looked floundered at the question. "If you love Tonks, and you know you will love her forever, come hell and high water, why didn't you?" Sirius sighed as he watched Remus.
"It's archaic, Sirius," he finally answered, shaking his head. "It's too permanent. What if your feelings fade and you are stuck with each other forever?"
Sirius' eyes sharpened, his silver gaze glinted like the edge of a knife. "I think you are misunderstanding something, Remus. I married her, I'm not courting her. Even if my feelings fade, I will continue to love her because I vowed to do so. If you enter into a union under the premise that you can leave each other whenever your feelings change or when life hits hard, you are not truly married. You made an empty vow. I promised to support her, protect her, serve her, be the foundation she could build her life on. I did not do this lightly, and neither did she." Remus didn't say anything, but his eyes were wide as he processed Sirius' words. "To answer your first question, we were together for less than twenty minutes before we performed the ritual."
There was silence from the other man. Then Remus started sputtering. "Sirius! That's not enough time!"
"It is!" Sirius exclaimed, making Remus flinch a little. He had been speaking so levelly until this point. The dark haired man took a moment to collect himself. "I didn't mean to confess my feelings to her, but it just came out of me. I told her I didn't expect anything from her, that her happiness was my own, in whatever form it took." At this point Sirius smiled, it softened the edges of his face, giving him a happy youthful glow. "Imagine my surprise when she pulled me out of the tent to kiss the living daylights out of me." His eyes became wet at the memory, startling Remus. "I've never felt happier than that night. I feel like my entire life, every horrible trial and pain I had to face, was there so that I could appreciate and love her more completely."
Remus was quiet. Sirius prepared a needle and thread before injecting a bit of lidocaine into the skin around the shallower cuts that still needed assistance healing but weren't deep enough to be worth wasting dittany on. Sirius sewed neat rows of well practiced stitches as Remus watched and thought over their conversation.
"I suppose it was inevitable for you to fall for her. She helped you in ways everyone else failed to," he eventually said. Near luminescent silver eyes met his for a moment, but Sirius refrained from speaking, letting Remus say what he needed to say. "I'm not, inherently, against you two being together. But I still think it's too soon, especially for a soul bond."
Sirius nodded along. "You're free to think that. I can't stop you. Perhaps I'd even agree with you if we weren't at war. But we are, and we are not guaranteed the next hour, let alone tomorrow. If I had let her go, without even asking, it would have been the greatest regret in my life," he capped the conversation. One day Remus would understand.
He finished up on the stitches and moved on, covering up the wounds with petroleum jelly and bandages. He tried not to think about how his only means of contact with her was shattered into useless shards of glass.
Crookshanks, with a tired mewl, rested his head on one stretched out arm, and curled his tail around Sirius' neck in solidarity.
