A/N: Hello! Another chapter so soon? I know, I know, inspiration struck and here we are. I've got a treat for you - a Jace POV. I hope you'll enjoy his voice. I should also probably mention a TW for themes of self harm.


Jace POV

We're gathered in the meeting room. There is no sight of Clary. I haven't really seen her since Jon came back. Jon. That name gives me the heebie-jeebies. I don't trust him. I never have. Yeh, I made myself sound really enthusiastic when he arrived, for Clary's sake. But I haven't forgotten what he did to her. I hated the way he used to look at her, it gave me the creeps. There was something wrong in the way he always seemed to centre in on her as soon as she entered a room. He would look at her with possessiveness in his eyes. I've seen enough demons in my lifetime to depict that particular emotion.

Clary, she will never see it. In her eyes, he can do no wrong and I don't want to upset her. So I keep these thoughts to myself. I love Clary so much and I want the best for her. I promise myself to keep an eye on him. I don't trust him being here and the timing with Valentine's appearance. It's all off. He's pretending. I know it. Underneath that cold surface lurks a sick mind. I saw it when he tried to force himself on Clary. I'll be patient. In time, he'll show us who he really is and I will expose him to her.

I look up and see Clary and Jon walking towards us. They look at ease again. There was that time before he disappeared when they weren't on speaking terms. She still hasn't told me why. Now though, they almost look as close as they did when they first arrived at the institute over a year ago. I think back to that life before. Before I knew this girl. Nothing compares. My life was hollow. She has brought so much light and happiness to me and I won't let Jon disturb that.

I've gotten so used to having her just to myself and I dread the idea that she'll spend more time with her brother. And what if he leaves again? It took me months to nurture her back to her health. She's still not fully returned to her form. And he, he dares to just waltz in here and pick up the healthy pieces that only exist, because I stood by her? I swallow the anger.

Clary spots me and sits down next to me. I take her hand, reassuring myself that she'll be ok. I'll make sure of it. "I wonder what this is about, huh." She squeezes my hand and leans into me.

"Right, if I could have everyone's attention. To those who haven't met me yet. I'm Amanda Branwell and I will be heading the New York institute in Maryse and Robert's absence. As all of you know, the Valentine sightings have increased in recent months. The Clave worries that Valentine might be working to get the Circle back together and the Clave wants it stopped. The relationship with the Downworlders is as precarious as ever. We need unity and it is everyone's responsibility to ensure this." She pauses and looks at all the Shadowinters gathered here and then continues, "Only by working as one, do we have the chance to stop him. That is why I am putting a special team together to head the Valentine investigation from here. You'll be working closely with the team in Idris and together, we can hopefully find Valentine and imprison him for good. He needs to answer for his crimes. He will not escape us again."

This girl means business. "So I've decided on three people for this team. Jonathan, Jace and Clary. Any questions?" Lots! I don't want Clary to spend any more time than necessary with Jonathan. I want to object, but he beats me to it.

"Mandy. Not Clary. Please? Jace and I can head this up on our own."

"Jon, I've made up my mind and I want the three of you to work on this together. I've read through the reports and you are the strongest Shadowhunters at this institute and I want the best on it."

Jonathan looks like he wants to argue this further, but I butt in. We're actually after the same outcome for once. "Can I add that Clary is actually not at her best at the moment, so I agree with Jon. She should stay away from this mission until she gets her full strength back."

Jon bites in on that. "What do you mean, Jace?"

Then he looks at Clary and asks with worry, "Are you unwell? Do you need to see a Silent Brother?"

I laugh out loud at that. "Dude. You left. You broke her and it's taken months for her to get better. She lost a lot of spirit and weight. She's lost a lot of strength and she's not fully regained it yet. Don't pretend to care." I then turn towards Amanda, "Please, can you reconsider."

I can feel Clary squeezing my hand with immense force. She is going to break it. She's angry at me, but I want what is best for her. If I don't look out for her, who will? I look up and see Jon swallowing down his fury. There you are, trying so hard to stay hidden. But I see you. "Patience." I tell myself.

Amanda looks towards Clary, "Clary, do you feel like you need more time? If you don't feel ready for this mission, then tell me, please. After all, we are to become family, so your well being is important to me."

Clary rasps her throat, "I'll be fine. Ignore those goofs, they don't know what they're talking about."

Then quieter she says to me, "You and I will talk. Never have I been this embarrassed. In. My. Life." She enunciates every syllable and I know she's mad, but all I can think is 'family'?

"Family?" I ask her.

"Yep. Meet my future sister in law."

I want to burst out laughing. What an absurdity. Poor Amanda for falling for the devil himself. But then I think that perhaps this means that Jon will go back to Brazil after my parents return. After all, as a husband, he's bound to follow his wife, right? I want to cheer at the thought that I only have to put up with him for so long. Of course I stop myself.

The meeting has wrapped up and I pull Clary up behind me. I hear Amanda asking Clary to stay behind. I kiss her quickly and she promises me that we will speak. I'm not worried. I leave with a pep in my step and round the corner.

Of course I bump into undesirable number one. "What's up Jon."

He hesitates. Then utters, "Clary."

"What about her?" I ask.

"You know what I want to know, Jace. What did you mean when you said those things about her health?"

I grin at that and move closer to him. He's not as intimidating as he likes to think. He let's me step into his personal zone. "After you left Jon, something within her died. You made her sick." I sneer at him and continue, "For four weeks she didn't eat, didn't drink, didn't speak. All she did was sleep, pretend to sleep or she would look out the window. We were all so worried for her. She was like that because of you!"

I poke my finger in his chest and continue my wordy assault. He's just a Shadowhunter. He doesn't scare me, I tell myself. "It's thanks to me and her friends that she is walking and talking and regaining her weight and strength. It's thanks to us that she's regaining that spark that you killed. She might forget and forgive you, but I never will. I told you before and I will tell you again. I will kill you if you ever hurt her again. If you ever leave like that again, and leave a broken heap behind. I will find you and hang you by your intestines. Got it?"

Jonathan looks up at me with pain in his eyes. If I didn't know any better, he's about to shed tears. This is far from the Jonathan I remember. I feel baffled. Perhaps, I was too hard on him after all?

"Jace. Thank you." He pats my shoulder and says, "Thank you for looking out for her, when I couldn't."

With that he turns around and leaves me to eat dust. I've never seen that sincere side to him. Who is this guy?

Clary POV

"Thanks for hanging back, Clary."

I wonder what she wants. Up close she's even prettier. That makes me angry somehow.

"I wanted to see if you would fancy getting some dinner with me? I'd love to get to know you better. Jonathan hasn't really told me much about you." She sounds keen. I want to roll my eyes.

"He hasn't?"

"No. You know how he is. He keeps things close. The silent stoic type as you know." She smiles and winks at me, as if I'm in on the secret. Although, Jonathan not talking about me throws me a little. Why would he not talk about me to his fiancé?

"So, what do you say to dinner?"

Nope, I can't be arsed. Instead I make myself sound regretful, "I'd love to, but I'm really behind on my training, so I want to concentrate on that for now. Hopefully soon though." Soon can easily turn into never.

She seems upset. "You sure? I can be flexible. Just tell me when, ok?"

Bloody hell, take a hint woman. Going to dinner with her is the last thing I want. "I'll let you know."

She seems pleased with that.

"Well, I was going to ask you over dinner, but now is as good a time as any. I would love for you to be my bridesmaid!" She beams at me, as if it's the most amazing thing in the world.

Bridesmaid?! At Jon's wedding?. "Why me?" I choke out.

"Why not?"

"For one, I don't really know you Amanda. Wouldn't you want a friend there or a family member?"

Her smile disappears abruptly. "That's not an option."

"Why not?"

"They're all dead, Clary."

"Oh." This news shocks me. Her whole family? Guilt starts eating me up inside. I didn't know! Jon hasn't said anything. "Of course," I add hastily. "I'm so incredibly sorry, Amanda. Of course I'll be there for you." How do I get out of that one? Death is every Shadowhunter's occupational hazard, but the whole family? My brother could have warned me.

She smiles at that and throws herself at me hugging. Of course she is a hugger. I can't believe I just got roped into that.

"We'll have so much fun. You'll see."

"Yippee" I shriek with a fake smile plastered on my face.

"If that's all?" I start gathering my stuff, hoping to make an escape. I can see that she's a likeable person, but just because I'm Jonathan's sister, doesn't mean the two of us will become besties. The idea makes me want to barf.

I wave her goodbye and head back to my room. Halfway there I realise that I left my favourite pen behind. I run back to get it and abruptly stop outside the door, when I hear hushed voices coming from the back of the room.

Jonathan and Amanda are having a heated argument. Interesting. Trouble in paradise? I can see Jon is annoyed by the way he holds himself. His shoulders are all tense. Annoyingly, I can't hear them though and I really want to. I know this is bad, but my curiosity wins the battle of good vs. evil. I draw my stele and apply a hearing rune to my forearm. Instantly I can hear the exchange as if I'm standing right next to them.

"I'm sorry Jon. Ok?" Amanda.

"It's not enough Mandy. I explicitly told you not to get Clary involved in the Val mission and what do you do? You fucking made her part of the main squad. Why did you do that?" I'm so mad at Jace for making my current condition public knowledge. But for Jon to go behind my back and to ask for me to be removed from the team? That's so not on!

"I'm heading the institute, so ultimately, it is my decision!" The girl has some backbone. Good for her.

"I checked the records. Clary, Jace and you came up as the strongest Shadowhunters at this institute, so why wouldn't I want my best people on it? Give me one good reason, Jonny." Urghh, Jonny? That's the funniest thing I've heard. He could never be a Jonny. I tuck away the nickname to tease him with later.

"I can give you three reasons. She's weak at the moment. I don't want the responsibility of looking out for her on the mission and I don't want her anywhere near my Father. You know that and still you went ahead and chose her anyway." I can't believe he's said that. When has he ever needed to look out for me?

"What actually happened Jon, after you left? I keep hearing Clary's condition, but no one gives me any details." Yes, what happened, brother?

"From what I could piece together, she couldn't handle being by herself. Like I said, that was one of the reasons I left. I needed space and she would never give it to me. I don't know, I guess being independent was difficult for her. She had a breakdown of sorts. She seems better though." What the fuck?

"I've asked her to be my bridesmaid."

A loud crack sounds rips through the room. Jon has literally ripped off a corner of the table "Jon!" Amanda exclaims.

"Why would you ask her behind my back, Amanda?" He sounds furious.

"Are you ok? Is the table?" She laughs at him.

"No, I am not OK. You should have asked me first."

"I'm sorry, all right! Neither of us has much family. I just assumed that you would like her to be part of it? Plus, she'll make a very pretty bridesmaid"

"I doubt that. And stop assuming for me!"

"Don't be mean Jon, your sister is gorgeous." My heart stutters.

"I'm not. I guess I haven't noticed. Jace seems to dig her petite figure, so she must be alright looking." Alright looking?!

Then he adds, " Now. You my sweetheart. You have curves in all my favourite places. Especially this one." I peak around the corner and see Jon brushing his thumb across the centre of her right breast." Amanda responds with a moan and all I can feel is ice seeping through my veins.

I hear Jon saying something else, but my lungs are frozen and I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I walk as fast as I can without arousing any suspicion from anyone I pass. I need to get to my room. I start concentrating on counting my steps. All I see is the path ahead. As soon as I'm through my bedroom door, I collapse on the floor.

Doesn't he love me anymore? As his sister? Why did he say those mean things about me? He doesn't find me pretty? Not even objectively as a brother? I've always known that he's handsome. Surely he would say it if he noticed? I hate being this shallow. I need to stop obsessing about my brother!

I need to go out tonight. Distract myself from the hell that has become my brain. I'm in so much fucking emotional pain, I can't cope. I hate doing it, but I need to alleviate the pressure. I can't deal. I grab my smallest blade. I study it closely. I won't do it forever. Surely, one more time won't hurt? I close my eyes and picture those hungry black eyes. The way he bit my breast. That Jon took a lot of pleasure in my 'petite' form. The Jon I had for those few minutes loved every small curve of my body. I sigh deeply. Clary, that Jon is gone for good and it can never happen. I take the blade and slice it across my forearm. I groan inwardly. The pain is soothing though. I breathe in the rusty smell of my blood and cut the blade across my arm one more time. My head hits the back of the door and I bask in the pleasure of the burning pain. Instantly, I can feel the figurative ice melting from around my organs. My breath is calming. My thoughts are clear again.

Something is broken within me. Ever since Jon and I did the blood exchange, I don't feel whole. It's like my blood is running through my veins like quicksand, escaping through tiny holes and I'm rushing panicked to stuff the holes over and over again, but I'm never quick enough and I feel myself slipping away from the inside out. Pain grounds me. It's one of the reasons Raphael and I have found the understanding we have. I study my healing bite marks. The marks are hidden under my bracelets, so noone has noticed. I apply iratzes to heal my cut wounds. Cutting, biting, what has happened to me? Clary, the seeker of pain and all things bloody. I groan inwardly at this person I have become. It's not like I can see a therapist as the mundanes tend to do and I cannot apply a healing rune to fix whatever is broken in my brain. The more I do it, the more I need it and I cannot see myself stoping any time soon. Yes, that blood exchange has done something to me. At first I felt disgust at what occured between us. But not for long. The memory of those hungry eyes staring at me with intent, his mouth against my neck, his hand on my skin. The memory of it has awakened some insane longing within me and I cannot rid myself of it.

I think of a plan. I need steps. I need order. An organised mind, an organised life. I'm going to get stronger. I'm going to concentrate on making Jace happy. I will make an effort with Amanda and my brother...he can go fuck himself today and tomorrow, after what he's said, but after that... I'll be pleasant again. I do want him to be in my life. Even if I have to pine after him from afar. Go Clary, I laugh at myself hysterically. I think I'm actually losing it.

With the steps outlined in my brain, I grab my fighting gear and head out of the institute. We're not really meant to go patrolling solo, but I can't be bothered with anyone tonight. Also, I need to work on my strength before anyone sees me fight. Jace is right, my form has dropped a lot this past year. As I run across the rooftops, I plan my training schedule. I think of all the moves I want to work on. I make a plan for the next four weeks of how many hours a day I will work on my cardio, strength and agility training. I think of everything but Jon.

XXX

I've been scouting the city for hours. I've hit the jackpot a few times when I came across some smaller demon packs, which I managed to disperse quite easily. I've gone a little further away tonight. If I was being honest with myself, I dread going back to the institute and interacting with anyone. I'm enjoying this solo adventure I'm on tonight. No expectations, no judgements, no competition. Just me, my seraph blade and a whole lot of demons. Life is good. I think back to Jon's words of how dependent I am. It's such a lie. I've always been my own person. Yes, I may cling to him more than I should, but it's far from annoying. Or is it? I wish I could just tell him what I've overheard and ask him straight up how he feels towards me. We used to be able to call each other out. Call it straight. Being adults sucks. These invisible lines get drawn and you never know which side you're actually on.

I suddenly hear some banging noises coming from around the corner. I carefully get closer and see a group of four demons forcing their entry through a heavy door. They're Dahak demons. I can't take them by myself. Raziel, what should I do. What are they up to? Their lizard-like skin and faceted eyes make my skin crawl. They don't usually hang out in groups, let alone break into a building together. Something is up.

I wait for them to disappear inside before following them quietly.

As soon as I'm through the door an awful stench hits my nose. I'm going to be sick. I have the urge to turn back, but I'm too curious to see what's up. Something is definitely strange about this situation. I'm going to trust my gut instinct on this one.

I apply my beloved far reaching hearing rune, a night rune and a silence rune before heading down the smelly corridor. What a god awful smell, like rotten eggs mixed with puke. I proceed quietly down the hallway and get into a room filled with all sorts of scientific equipment. What is this? Before I can take it all in, something smacks the back of my head and the world goes all fuzzy. The last thing I manage to think is that I should have told someone where I went.

XXX

There is something wet dripping down the side of my face. It's itching like hell. I try to move my hand to satisfy that itch, but I can't move. Panic flows through me like an avalanche. Then I remember that something hit my head. I carefully open my eyes. My head feels heavy, but I have to see where I am.

"Shrrrr she is awake. Masssssster isssss on hissss way." One of the Dahak demons is hissing towards me.

My mouth is too dry for me to speak, so it takes me a few tries to form words.

"What are you going to do to me?"

"Massster on hissss way."

"Massster willlll decide." Followed by loud howling, which I assume is his laugh.

I swallow the fear, whoever this master may be, I need to act fast before he gets here.

"May I have some water, please?"

"Dahak not ssssstupid. Dahak knows Shadowhunterssss powerful."

"Please, I won't survive without liquids. What will your master say if he finds a corpse instead?"

The creature studies me, then disappears. I quickly go to work. My hands are locked into steel handcuffs. There's some markings on them, too. Probably some added demon protection. There's no rune that will get through that! I actually left my stele in a weapon holder attached to my wrist. I wiggle around and carefully manage to slip it out. What now? What rune will get me out of this? Help?! I want to laugh to myself. Noone is going to help me. Suddenly I get a vision of sorts, I picture a rune and without thinking I draw it on the cuffs. They instantly spring open. Nice.

"I kneeeew girl not stupid."

I look up and see three of them. Shit.

I whirl through the air and land near the back where I spotted my weapons discarded. I pick up my seraph blade "Michael," I whisper before starting the attack. I will get out of this.

I throw myself at them with force. Slash, bend, jump, twirl. Over and over again I go. Three demons turn into six, then into three again, then back to six. Every time I kill three, there's more that come out of various hidden rooms. How many demons are here? It's like a den. I notice a few different species, which doesn't make any sense. Demons don't mingle their habitats. I manage to fight my way back to the door. I feel so much relief, I'm almost outside. I throw the door open and shriek back in pain. Someone has stabbed my shoulder with an iron rod. I scream in agony, and pull it out with one swift motion. I can barely stand. With the last bit of energy, I ram my blade through the demon that managed to incapacitate me, and finally I escape this hellhole.

I'm stumbling back to the institute. I've applied several iratzes, but there's too many wounds for them to work their magic. Once I get back, I'll be ok. It feels like hours, but when I am so close to the institute that I can see the rooftop through the treeline, I feel like crying out loud. I make a quick decision to enter via the downworlders entrance and stumble to my bedroom door. I'm sure I'm leaving a trail of blood behind me, but at this point I don't care. My door. I'm so happy I could cry.

I push my way in and collapse on the floor.

"If you ever dare to leave this building again without notifying anyone, Clary. So help me God, I will lock you in your room! You hear me! Clary?"

There are hands brushing away the hair out of my face. Long fingers are stroking my cheeks. "Clary? Please be ok. What happened to you? By the angel? Where does it hurt?!"

I can't speak. There's only gurgling sounds coming out of me. My shoulder hurts so much. It's on fire. My shoulder needs looking at. With the last bit of energy I lift my good arm and tap my bad shoulder, shrieking in agony."

Suddenly, I'm airborne. "Shhh. You'll be ok. I'll make you ok again. You see. I was so scared. I've never been so scared in my life, Lily."

Lily? It's been such a long time. I sigh. I feel so safe. In pain, but safe.

"I'll have to cut the top Clare. Is that ok?"

I mumble in response. I hear the fabric ripping in half and off it goes. I'm too out of it to care.

"Fuck, what did this to you?"

Demon, I want to say. Many demons.

"Fuck, my blood just won't work on you, Clare. Let me try the iratzes and I'll get some pain tonics from the infirmary. Will you be ok? I promise, I won't be long."

I nod my head. I think that's what I do. I'm in and out of consciousness. I don't know how long he's been gone for, but I'm starting to worry. What if he left and I'm going to die here on my bathroom floor without having told him my feelings?

"What feelings, Clare?"

Hmmmm?

"You said you wanted to share your feelings."

Dunno. Funny how the subconscious can talk back.

Suddenly, I'm starting to regain some feeling in my limbs again. It bloody hurts.

"There, you're starting to heal. Can you take some tonic for me? It should take away the edge. Tip your head back Lily. Careful."

I tip back my head and then slightly open my mouth. A tangy sweet taste hits my tongue.

"Can you stand?"

"I don't know." The pain is going, but I'm not strong enough yet. I'm slowly coming back to it.

"You're drenched in blood. It's too much to wipe off. Hang on."

I force one eye open and see Jon undressing. I shriek in panic, "Whatcha doing?" My mouth is still not fully operational.

"Helping." He grins at me.

He's taken everything off apart from his boxers and his godly nakedness is now moving my way. I want to run. I'm too weak to bring a stop to this.

"Come on. Let's get you out of these dirty jeans."

I realise that my top has disappeared and I'm sitting here in just a bra.

"Where is my top?" I cry.

"I had to cut it off to heal that shoulder of yours. Come on, stop being a baby."

Baby? "This is highly inappropriate," I want to tell him. But he doesn't seem to be phased by any of it, so I pretend to be ok."

"Come on, lift your hips."

I do and he starts wiggling the jeans off me. How sexy indeed. I'm left in my thongs. At least I'm wearing a matching underwear set. Stop it Clary, I chastise myself.

"Jon, I can manage. Honestly. You can leave now."

"Ok. Stand."

"I will once you leave. This is too weird."

"Clary, you need to get that grime off you. You are covered in demon ichor."

He knows that I can't stand by myself just yet, so I give up.

He moves his arms underneath me and lifts me up bridal style and then he walks us into the shower.

The warm water starts pouring down, which makes me groan out in pleasure.

"Nice, huh?"

"Yes." I sigh.

"Come on. Let's get this shit off you."

He sits us down on the tiles. My back is pressed to his torso. We're literally naked and our skin is touching in every imaginable place possible. It feels like coming home. I sigh deeply.

"Comfortable?"

"Yes," I smile, knowing that he can't see it.

I see Jon picking up a loofah and squeezing some body wash onto it. I hold my hand out for it, but he shoos it away.

"Let me. Sit back and relax. I want you all healed by the time we're out of here."

He starts scrubbing my skin, starting with my neck. I lean my head on his chest and close my eyes. I may as well enjoy this.

He moves the loofah across my skin in small circles. When he's near my breasts he accidentally skims the bottom of them and the sensation makes me lean closer into him. I swallow a moan. Continuing with the circle motion, he moves over my tummy and lower still. No one has ever cleaned me so thoroughly. Hell, even I don't take so much care washing myself!

He's been quietly scrubbing me. All I can hear is the tap tap of the water.

"Lift your leg Clary." His voice sounds raspy. His nose is grazing the side of my neck when he says those words into my ear, covering that whole side in his hot breath. I prop my legs up, bending them at my knees and push them apart forming a v shape. I can't think. My body hurts, but still it aches for him. It has been wanting him for a whole year now. I can feel the loofah skimming the outside of my thigh. Then the inside. I silently will him to move higher and higher still. He does and when he skims the side of my apex with his finger, I withhold the moan that's been building in my chest, a knee jerk reaction follows and I push my butt into him. Hardness meets me. I freeze. His very aroused cock is pressed against my butt. I can feel him so acutely, I can actually picture the shape of him. My throat suddenly feels very dry and heat pools in my belly.

I carefully shuffle closer to him, until I can feel his cock alongside the cleft of my butt. I hold my breath. He hasn't moved. Suddenly, I feel a shift behind me, I can feel Jon moving closer, pressing his forehead against my upper back. I hear him inhale. He brings his arm around my waist and for a second I'm worried he will push me away. Instead he pulls me in closer and holds me tight, so very tight, so tight there's no space between my back and his front. I can feel him slowly breathing in and out. I close my eyes and relish in the feeling of his closeness, and the feel of his hardness pressed against me. We sit like this for an eternity. Silence surrounds us and the warm water continues to shower us.

"Do you want me to wash your hair?" He says it so quietly that I almost didn't hear him.

"Yes," I rasp.

Neither of us has pointed out the fact that Jon is still aroused and that I'm still pressing myself against that very arousal. I've lost all feeling of time and propriety. But he hasn't pushed me away. I don't know how much time we've been sitting here like this or how long it's been since I came back from the demon den. All I know is that this won't last. Reality will come blazing its horns, so I take this moment and create a very special place for it in my heart.

I hear the squeeze of the bottle, and feel his fingertips in my hair. He washes my red treces with a lot of care.

"You have such beautiful hair," I hear him whisper from behind.

He massages his long fingers through my hair, then moves them to my neck and starts squeezing my tense neck muscles. I groan in pleasure and in response his dick twitches against my ass. At this point I have so completely surpassed my arousal, I feel like any minute it will crash. This type of prolonged high is the most delicious torture.

I hear the water going off.

"Can you stand?

I get up, but lose my balance.

"Still dizzy from the blood loss," I comment.

He picks me up and walks us to the bench, where he sits me down.

"I'm such an invalid, aren't I?"

"A very cute one," he smiles.

"But not a pretty one?"

He looks at me intently. 'The prettiest," He smiles.

"It's not what you told your fiance." I know I'm being childish, but his words earlier hurt.

"You shouldn't be eavesdropping." He strokes his thumb across my cheek and my breath catches at that. "You're beautiful, Lily." In response to his words, warmth spreads through me.

He grubs a fluffy towel from the shelf and starts rubbing me dry. From my feet all the way up to my hair.

"Pajamas?" I point him towards the right cupboard.

"Arms up." I lift my arms.

He then gets down on his knees and lifts one leg into the shorts, then the other, before pulling them up and over my hips. I have to hold on to his waist to avoid falling over. I'm still too weak. His lean body feels so good under my hands. I'm tempted to explore the ridges of his six pack, but I'm afraid to push my luck with him.

"This feels familiar," I laugh.

"It does," he grins. "Although, I much rather like a scenario in which I'm hurt, not you Clary."

"But you make a wonderful caretaker," I smile.

He pinches my chin and urges me to look at him.

His eyes are obsidian pools. I could get lost in them for days. At this very moment, I don't yearn for his chocolate eyes. Black can also mean hunger, yearning and sometimes sexual desire. I realise with a pang, that these are the things I want from him more. I dream of these feelings being directed towards me. One can wish.

"I won't push for any answers tonight, but you and I are going to talk tomorrow. Agreed?"

"Agreed," I sigh.

"Ok. Come on. Bedtime." He picks me up and walks us towards my bed. Then adds teasingly, "From tomorrow, the carriage is fully booked."

"Very funny," I tap his shoulder, "I much rather walk you know."

"I think the princess could quickly get used to being carried around by her faithful servant," he winks at me and smiles so openly, I can spot one of his dimples appearing on his right cheek.

I swipe my finger across it and say, "Perhaps I could."

He deposits me on my fluffy bedding and I sigh in relief.

I want to ask him to stay, but I feel like that would be asking for too much.

"I'd like to stay until you fall asleep. Can I?" He asks almost shily.

I nod, trying really hard to not look too eager.

He moves in behind me. He's left his T-shirt off. I discreetly move my top up. I yearn to feel his skin on mine again, even if it's just a sliver. Jon moves his arm around me and covers my bare abdomen with his large palm, before pulling me into him, into his delicious hardness. He slowly pushes my top further up and starts drawing small circles onto my abdomen. I zone in on that feeling. The world around me drops away peacefully. I can feel myself drifting off. Through a fog of sleep, I feel him running his nose across my shoulder, then up the side of my neck, inhaling me along the way. He ends up nuzzling my neck and presses his lips against my bare skin and that's how he stays, unmoving. Is this a dream? I sigh happily. Dream or no dream, I've not felt this content in a very long time.

Jace POV

I've not seen Clary since the meeting yesterday. She usually comes to see me before we go to bed, often she ends up staying. But not last night. I tried finding her after midnight, but she was nowhere to be found. I got worried and ended up staking out Jon, who was cosied up in his room with Amanda. That was pretty uncomfortable, but I was desperate to find her. When I asked if he'd seen his sister, he was too busy kissing his fiancé and refusing to help me look.

Here I am now, lurking outside her room, which is locked by the way. I pull my stele out and use the open rune to force my entry. Perhaps she's left clues. I walk through the door and stall in horror.

Clary is asleep in bed and she's not alone. She's wearing her cute little black shorts and a masculine hand is pressed against her bare abdomen. It's so low down her front that the dude might as well be groping her vagina. I see red. I roar in anger and throw myself at the guy. He's not wearing any clothes! Something within me snaps. I grab him by the back of his neck and throw him across the room. I hear Clary shrieking behind me and calling for me to "Stop."

I ignore her, I move towards the guy who thinks he can steal my girl. MY GIRL! Then I see his face and freeze.

"Jon?! What the fuck? I knew it. I knew you were a sicko. You fucking disgusting bastard. You've been back what? All of five minutes and you're already in bed with your sister? Freak!" I roar at him.

He sits on the floor unmoving, staring at the pattern on the carpet. HE'S IGNORING ME! That makes me even angrier.

Small hands pull me back from behind.

"Jace, calm down. It's not what it looks like. Stop saying those things to my brother! He's done nothing wrong."

I turn around and grab her by her shoulders, "Nothing wrong?" I scream.

"Stop it. Stop it. You're hurting me!"

Suddenly I'm pinned to the floor. Jon is above me squeezing my neck tight. There's murder in his eyes. "Touch her again," he seethes.

All I can do is tap the floor. My airways are being squeezed shut. There's shouting and screaming happening all round. I think I hear Izzy. Suddenly I can breathe again. I look up and see Alec pinning Jon's arms behind his back.

Izzy sits beside me rubbing my back and Amanda stands in the door seemingly shell shocked, not knowing what to make of it all. Well, I do!

"Stop! Everyone fucking stop! Alec, get those grubby hands off my brother."

"No!" he snaps.

"Jon, do you promise to remain calm? Do you?" Clary asks him and he nods in response.

"Alec. You heard him."

Reluctantly he gets his hands off him.

"Everyone. Jace." She looks at me imploringly. Then continues, "Last night I got trapped by some demons. I barely made it out. I fought my way out and crawled back to the institute with several wounds and one major stab wound. Jon found me. Jon healed me, cleaned my wounds and then he put me to bed, Jace." She stares me through and continues, "I asked him to stay until I would fall asleep at least." She looks at me when she says those words. "Jace here," she waves in my general direction, "finds Jon in my bed and thinks that we're lovers," she laughs out adds, "It's ludicrous. Last time I checked, Jon was my brother. He still is my brother. Please pray tell, what made you jump to such conclusions?"

"I see the way he looks at you Clary! I'm not blind," I growl.

Izze pats my back, "Stop being stupid Jace."

I look at Clary and Jon and see them locked into a silent conversation. I don't care what she believes, but that brother of hers wants her. I'm not even related to Izzy and the idea of sharing a bed with her makes me want to barf. Let alone spooning and holding Izzy in my sleep the way Jon held Clary. I promise myself to keep a very close eye on him from now on. I will expose that psycho to the world.

There's a commotion around us. Jon has disappeared into the bathroom and when he reappears, fully clothed, I can see blood stains all over his clothes, as well as demon ichor. Suddenly I realise that I might have jumped ahead of myself. Obviously he had to take the clothes off and did he say that Clary was badly hurt? I haven't even registered that part, too consumed by what I saw. Guilt rushes through me at the scene I made. Perhaps I overreacted? But still, I wasn't blind to the way he held her. It's disgusting.

I notice that everyone has left. I turn around and see Clary looking at me angrily. I move towards her with my arms spread out, "I'm so sorry Clary. I might have overreacted."

"You think?" She seethes.

"Clary. I am sorry."

"I need time Jace."

"Ok, I can come back later."

"No. I mean time. I… I can't do this. First you go behind my back and announce to everyone that I'm not fit enough to run a mission. Then you accuse my brother, my brother of-"

"Clary, I'm sorry," I interupt her. "I don't know what got into me. You can't break up with me. I love you and you love me. We're perfect for each other."

I see a shadow crossing her face. It's so quick that I think I imagined it. Panic grips me. I move towards her and she tries to pull away. I can't let her. I need her. I love her. I take her in my arms. "Clary, if you need time. I..I can give you some time. But, please. I made a mistake. We're meant to be. Please don't destroy it. Don't destroy us."

She's quiet for a moment and fear like nothing I've felt before grabs hold of me. What if she decides that we are not enough?

"I just need time Jace and I need you to back off from Jon. He's my brother and I need him in my life, got it?"

I agree quickly, we make peace and after that I leave to give her the space I promised. I feel unsure of myself now. But then I remeber how Jon was holding Clary and that hesitation gets squashed. I need my parabatai.


A/N: Right, what did you all think? I've not written a Jon POV yet on purpose. It surrounds him with a bit of mystery. What is he thinking? Has he healed himself of the demon perhaps? He seems to act quite normal for the most part, doesn't he? as you can see, I have flipped it a bit and we have a struggling Clary situation on our hands. I hope you like this spin. Until next time.