Ranger had pocketed my phone when he tucked me and the children in. He said he wanted me to sleep, and he didn't want to take the chance that Val called again. The kids and I cuddled, but I fell asleep quite quickly. Apparently, the children didn't sleep as long as I did, and they got up after an hour nap. I, however, slept three hours and Ranger had to wake me for dinner.
"Did I get any phone calls?" I said as I pushed my hair out of my face.
Ranger smiled slightly. I guess I had sleep wrinkles on my cheeks. "Just one. Your mom called."
I groaned. "What did she say?"
"She is desperately trying to keep the family together, and we are the people who aren't playing along. She's not very happy with us. In her eyes, we are trying to break the family apart."
"What does she want us to do? After all, enabling Val's behavior is not the healthiest action that we could take."
"She just wants the break in the family healed. However, Val has dug her heels in and has said the only way that she'd forgive us is to fund her again, and we've said that funding her will be the death of her, and we aren't willing to ruin her life. Val is refusing to see our side, so your mom is putting pressure on us. She sounds quite desperate, and she was not happy when I told her that you had been abused by Val too many times to give her a second chance, and I wouldn't have given her a first chance, let alone a second one. I reiterated with your mom that you were paying Val's expenses out of your salary, and I didn't see why you should work your ass off to support your sister when your sister was neither appreciative of the money nor spent it for the intended purpose. Instead, Val requested more money, stole from you by increasing the reported cost of her rent, didn't attend her classes, was drinking again, stopped seeing the therapist, and was still going to your mom's every night for dinner, even though you paid a hefty grocery bill for Val. I asked your mom if she would act the same way as Val had. She just sighed. I then told her that we had tried to help Val but she had wanted to ignore the terms of the agreement and was abusive when we wouldn't let her. I told her that Val was so angry that the little ones felt they had to protect you, that they were worried in her wrath that she would hit you."
"What did she say?"
"'Oh my God'. She started to cry. I apologized and said that I knew it was tough for her, but we couldn't take Val's abuse any longer. I told her that the children have decided that she didn't deserve the title of 'Aunt' any longer, and as a family we have decided to cut her off. I explained that, if Val cleaned herself up and started to work hard, we'd recognize the relationship. However, until then, she was dead to us."
"What did Mom say?"
"She asked me if I felt that it was right to cut off Val when she needed us the most. I told her that we cut ourselves off to protect ourselves, and that she was doing bad things both for Val and for you to be pushing this. She was choosing to put you in danger to reward Val's bad behavior and that wasn't acceptable to me. And then I told her that I had to go and make some dinner for you."
I sighed. "I don't understand why we always have to find the solutions. When Val found out she was pregnant, I was the one sent in to talk to her. When Grandma wanted a tattoo and a job, I was the one that figured out a solution. When Grandma was diagnosed with Pick's Disease, you were the one that researched the disease and figured out how to best support my parents. When Val was driving my mom nuts when she lived at my parents' with Albert and the kids, I was the one that had to give up my apartment so they had somewhere to stay – and then, when I wanted my apartment back, I had to find them a house to live in that they could afford. I don't see what Val has done to contribute to the family. I'm not talking monetarily. There are lots of ways to contribute without spending money. It might be cooking dinner for Mom to give her a break. It might be taking Grandma to her house overnight, again to give Mom a break. I'm sure, if Val thought about it, she would think of dozens of ways that she could contribute to the family. Because right now? All I see is her taking and taking, and she isn't contributing at all."
"And that is why you have a vast number of people who have adopted you as family. You understand that all good relationships have a give and take to it." He kissed me and pulled me to a sitting position. I winced. "What's going on, babe?"
"I think I've overdone things. My abdomen is sore, which makes me think that I was sleeping on my stomach, my chest feels tighter, I'm tired and I'm having problems coping. I don't even feel like eating. I feel too sick."
"Sick to your stomach?"
"Yes."
"Okay. If you want to stay in bed, I'll send Kai in after dinner, and perhaps we can figure out what is going on."
"Thank you for understanding."
"It's okay, babe. We'll get you fixed up."
"What was for dinner?"
"Salmon steaks, asparagus, yellow summer squash and rice."
"You know, I never liked fish before I met you."
"And now?"
"I like salmon and tuna."
Ranger laughed. "I'll have to broaden your horizons."
I smiled. "Serve it battered and I'm the first in line."
Ranger laughed again and kissed me on the forehead. "See you in a bit, babe."
He left the room, and as I thought about my mother, I turned into my pillow and started to cry. Five minutes later, Kai knocked on the door. I sniffled and wiped my eyes and rolled over, and called him into the room. "How was the salmon?" I said with a wobbly smile.
Kai smiled. "I'll catch up with dinner later. I wanted to see you first."
"Thanks."
"What's going on?"
"I think I rolled onto my stomach because my abdomen hurts, my lungs feel tighter, I'm coughing more, and I am more tired."
"Okay. Let me wash my hands, and we'll see what is going on."
He came back a minute later, took my temperature and blood pressure, looked down my throat and in my ears, felt my lymph nodes, and listened to my heart and lungs and back and abdomen. He then felt around my abdomen and pulled my pants down slightly so that he could see the incision. "Okay", he said. "I can see that the incision is bothering you. It looks good though, and as though it is healing properly. Hysterectomy pain, however, can last a long time. The rule of thumb is three months as an average, but for some women it lasts much longer. It would make sense that you are in pain after rolling onto your stomach. Is the pain dissipating at all?"
"Yes and no. The pain of my hysterectomy is dissipating, but my abdomen is very sore. It's been sore all day."
"What do you think has happened?"
I thought for a moment. "Kai, could the stomach pain be due to anxiety?"
"Absolutely. However, I suspect that you are more suffering from stress than anxiety. In talking to you over the last few weeks, I don't think that you are anxious. Stressed, yes. You are incredibly stressed. Between the merger and being sick and your sister and your mother and Colin dying and now Heather, you are struggling – and that's okay. You just need to talk more, and you need to remember that you have a whole team of people behind you."
"I feel like I can't catch my breath."
"I know, and I am going to ask Ranger to let you sleep in tomorrow. With doing the merger, you went back to work before you were ready, and you've been pushing yourself ever since. Seriously, Steph, you were working with Colin just a week after your surgery, and personally I would have preferred for you to take the first three months off. You need to give yourself a break. You have to let yourself sleep, or you might have a rebound of your pneumonia and I don't want to see you have to deal with that."
"Do you think that's what is happening now?"
"Your lymph nodes aren't swollen at all, and you aren't running a fever. That says to me that you don't have an infection. Your lungs don't sound healed, but they don't sound worse, either. You have to remember that you were very sick. It will take you about six months to fully recover and you are only six weeks in. You said your chest was tighter, and I honestly think that it is fatigue that is causing the discomfort. What I'd like to see, although I know that it is impossible, is for you to be removed from all stress for a week or two. I think your pneumonia would improve significantly. Since I know you can't remove yourself from it, I would like to see it significantly reduced. Lots of sleeping time, lots of relaxing time, maybe some time investigating the city and local countryside – and then, in a couple of weeks, see you start adding more activity to your day. I know that is impossible, but that is what I'd like."
"How will I handle my sister and mother?"
"Let Ranger handle them. He won't mind and he might get through to them. He won't let it bother him the same, either, and in fact being able to do something might make him feel better. He's pretty angry, and he's an action guy. Sitting back and watching you deal with it is hard on him."
"What about this other person – Heather?"
"Do what you do best. Look into her life, find out about her, see if you can charge her with fraud. Become proactive – but become proactive tomorrow. I'd like to see you sleeping tonight."
I snorted. "What about the nausea?"
"Probably a side effect of stress. Stress can cause a number of symptoms, and I think the nausea is part of it."
I sighed.
"Steph, you are exhausted, still fighting pneumonia, still recovering from major surgery, have a number of upsetting stresses in your life, and a good friend has just died. It's a lot."
"I know. I feel like I am about to break."
"I'm not surprised. How did you like Lindsay and Angus?"
I smiled. "I really liked them. They seem like warm and loving people. What did you think?"
"I liked them as well. They were very excited to meet everybody."
"It was nice and, selfishly, it was gratifying after having to deal with my sister and mother."
"How are you doing with handling Heather?"
"Heather is a pain in the ass. However, because she isn't actually related to me, there is less of a personal involvement or upset."
"That's right, so make sure that you don't take it personally. Taking it personally will add a whole lot of stress that you don't deserve." He put his tools back in his bag. "Good thing I brought my bag, isn't it?"
I laughed. "You are always prepared."
"I was a Boy Scout."
"Hunh. I dated a Boy Scout once. He said he was always prepared, too. I told him too bad, I wasn't. He pushed me out of the car and drove away. I ended up walking all the way home. I got in late and was grounded, but I didn't mind as, when I told my mother what happened, she lifted the punishment and made me pineapple upside-down cake. I may have developed a bad blister, but pineapple upside-down cake was so worth it."
"Did it have whipped cream?"
"Of course."
"Then you are right. It was worth it."
I laughed.
He helped me lie down. "Do I have your permission to tell everyone what is going on?"
"Yeah, sure", I said. "They'll be concerned."
"That's because they're your true family." He turned the light down low. "Have a good sleep."
