After Kai examined me and assured me that there was less blood than there had been the night before, and after he had given me some more pain relievers, I went to sleep and didn't wake up again until Ranger and the girls walked into the room. They were proud of the breakfast that they had made. Ranger had put out food dye, mixed it with a tablespoon of milk for each color, and gave the kids cotton swabs as paint brushes. He gave each of the children a slice of French bread and let them 'paint' the bread with the dyed milk and the cotton swabs. When they finished painting the bread, Ranger toasted it. What resulted were some beautiful pictures that the children had painted. I didn't know how I was going to eat three slices of bread, but Ranger had been trying to fatten me up since I had been sick, and I rather thought the three pieces of bread had been done on purpose. He knew that I wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by not eating their piece of toast.

I glared at him as he smiled, and I turned back to the children and exclaimed at how pretty their pictures were.

I ate the three pictures slowly, in alphabetical order of their names. That was a good system, as it stopped any arguing from happening and it got the kids practicing their letters. The kids liked it too.

Ranger and the kids had also made me a banana smoothie and had brought me up a large cup of coffee. I ate slowly to make sure it all stayed down – my stomach was still upset from not eating food the night before when I took the version of acetaminophen with codeine. It took me half an hour to get the food into me, but the children were pleased when I was finished. "Was it good, Mommy?" said Grace.

"It was incredibly good. My stomach is upset, and I didn't think that I would get it all in. However, it was so good that I kept finding more and more room for the toast. You three are very good chefs."

"Is the smoothie no good?" said Tia.

I smiled. "The smoothie is excellent and is one of my favorite things to drink. However, my tummy is full of toast and I am going to have to wait a while before I have room for my smoothie."

Ranger looked at the girls. "Why don't you go down to the playroom and find some games and things to play with for a while", he said. The children cheered, and Ranger sent them on their way. He turned to me. "How is that sitting?"

"Not well, but I didn't want to tell the kids that. They were so proud of their pictures."

Ranger sighed. "You're a good mom", he said. "Remember, though, that you count."

"I know."

He kissed me, helped me into the washroom, steadied me when I washed my hands and brushed my teeth, and carried me back to the bed. He plumped up the pillows, arranged me so that I was comfortable, and dug into my luggage to find my tablet. He brought it over and smiled. "I thought this would be less heavy than your computer", he said. "This way you can write emails to Miguel and Dirk and Nick to your heart's content."

I grinned, and he smiled. He handed the tablet to me and kissed my nose. "Remember to sleep", he said.

"What are people doing today?"

"Joe and Tracy and Eli have driven into Inverness to explore. Kai and Julie are out for a run. Apparently, they were out exploring this morning and there is a cleared path through the property that they thought would be good to run along. The kids and I made you breakfast. We had the same thing, so it took us a bit of time to make breakfast. Lindsay has asked if she could come and either talk to you or play with the kids or both so that I could do some work for the office and, if you don't mind, I will ask her to look after the kids. I know that it is boring for you, but I hope that you sleep more. Besides, it will be really helpful if I get some time in the study."

"That's fine with me. To tell you the truth, I don't really feel up to entertaining anyone. It is hard enough with the kids, but they are easily diverted. Once you start talking about farts, they forget that you are sick." Ranger laughed. "Adults see through that though, and you have to try so much harder to hide your pain. And Lindsay is a lady. I don't think she's interested in talking about farts."

"Are you hiding it from me?"

"No. I'm not hiding it from Kai or Tracy either. They are too good at their jobs, anyway, and like you they would know without me saying anything. However, I am trying to hide it from everyone else. For one reason, I think that Lindsay and Angus blame themselves a bit."

"It is one of those fluky things that happened", said Ranger. "If you hadn't still been recovering from the hysterectomy, you would have had a bruise and some tenderness, but it wouldn't have grounded you the way that it has. She meant to hit you, but I don't think she meant to cause you the pain that she did."

"I know. Did you check my phone at all?"

"Three messages from your sister and four from your mother. I haven't listened to them yet."

"I'm going to ask for the ultimate favor. Would you mind listening to them and, if there is any urgency about the messages, deal with it? Otherwise, at some point today could you summarize the messages for me?"

Ranger smiled. "I would be happy to help. Perhaps unfortunately, they are my family too."

"Poor you. By marrying you, I got Julie and your parents and grandmother and your sisters and brother and their families. I got Rachel and Ron and Aunt Tia and Uncle Alejandro and a whole host of friends. You got Val and my grandmother and Vinnie. I just have to say that you must love me an awful lot."

Ranger laughed. "When we got married, we vowed 'in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse'. We've done the 'in sickness and in health' several times. We've done the richer or poorer several times as well. Now we are just doing the better or worse. It's okay, babe. Being able to manage your calls is making me feel like I am doing something, and I've always been a doer rather than a wallower. It is making me feel better."

I smiled. "I'm all for you feeling better."

Ranger laughed and kissed my nose. "I should go. There is only so long that I want to leave three little ones roaming the house. Even though they are well behaved, they are only three and four."

I smiled and told him that I loved him, then turned to my tablet and opened my email. There was an email from Miguel. "The Research Gurus came through. We found the baby, first try. The only problem was the kidnapper killed the baby and then herself, while the ERT watched and was unable to do anything to save the baby. The parents were traumatized, and so were we. All three of us were crying as we watched it go down, and we all felt helpless. It was an especially hard case for Dirk and I to do though, as it reminded us of Tia's kidnapping the day she was born. It also wasn't easy for Nick to go through, as it reminded him of his mother-in-law taking his kids and running with them. Hal has given all three of us a couple of days off. He has also required us to go for a therapy appointment during those two days. Same with the members of the ERT. All of us are glad about both things. We need the break from the emotional aspects of the case. In the meantime, the managers are taking the department over. As Hal said, they are a talented group of people and our respite is important.

"Ranger sent a message out last night saying that you got a little banged up – again. Hal is thinking that he'd like to make you an honorary SEAL since you get more banged up than he ever did in all the time of serving. However, I think he also wants to make you an honorary SEAL to bug the hell out of Ranger. With Ranger being part of the Army, Hal always enjoys seeing Ranger's face when you say 'hooyah'. How are you feeling now? What exactly happened? Ranger said it didn't count for the pool. It sounds like a good thing though, that you took Kai with you. You're kind of like the British Queen, and you take a doctor with you wherever you go. Of course, that isn't why we call you the Capture Queen, but it is just another reason that it is apt.

"Tell me about the castle. Is it big? Is it nice? What is the property like? I was thinking that perhaps we should hold a teambuilding exercise there. Och, lassie, I could handle going to Scotland.

"Tell me stories. I am still kind of stuck in the kidnapping, and I need a break and something else to think about. I don't know how the other guys fared this evening, but I've been up since two, and I cannot escape the horror of what happened."

I smiled and wrote him a reply. "Hey, Miguel and Dirk and Nick. Congrats on finding the baby. You did your job and you did it well, and there was nothing you could have done about the woman being mentally ill. I know from personal experience how devastating the kidnapping of a baby can be, and I can understand the feeling of horror that the parents felt. At least you have ended it. They are not going to be tormented by the 'what ifs'. I'm glad that you are taking a couple of days off. You deserve giving yourself a break. People often forget how hard it is on the rescuers involved. They think about the parents and about the kidnapped victim. And so they should. But the people involved in the rescue deserve support as well, and I am grateful that Hal is giving that to you.

"We stumbled upon something here. Colin had a woman harassing him, someone who believed that he was her father – and she is angry that he 'abandoned' her. She wanted him to right the wrong by leaving her a sizable portion of his fortune. But I am nosy – believe it or not! – and did some research yesterday, and I found out that Colin was in London the year that Heather was conceived. Last night, we spent time with Colin's sister and nephew and when we left their house, Heather drove up and was quite hurt and angry that we'd had a family gathering without her. I explained to her what I had found and handed her my report. She responded by kicking me. I'm just pissed that I didn't move out of the way in time. However, luck would have it that she would hit me directly where my uterus was taken out. I started bleeding and was in agony and couldn't walk. Kai told me that he didn't mind carrying me because he was a he-man. I don't know whether I should be insulted or not. The kids were terrified. So was I. Between the re-injury and the fact that the pneumonia doesn't seem to be totally resolved, Kai wants me to spend the next two days in bed and, then over the next month, to gradually build up my strength. Even then he will only put me on half-days. So I guess what I am trying to say is that Julie and I might be gone more than two months. I'm sorry.

"As far as the castle, Lochimor is lovely. It is made of granite that has weathered over time, and because it is a newer castle there are lots of windows. It has fourteen large bedroom suites, all with queen beds and ensuites except for Ranger's and my bedroom. We have a king. Upstairs there are another twenty bedrooms with double beds and ensuites. Imagine, thirty-four bedrooms! Lindsay, Colin's sister, is an interior decorator, and she redid the castle a couple of years ago. The color scheme is neutrals with pops of color, much like our apartment. The place is enormous but still comfortable. There is only one suit of armor. Tia has already asked us if she could try it on. Although we said 'no', I have visions of her putting it on in the middle of the night and scaring the hell out of me by clanking her way down the hall.

"Lochimor was built in 1803. It's situated on three hundred acres of forest studded with granite outcroppings and overlooks a large lake. Julie and Kai discovered a path through the woods today, and they are running it now to see what is there. I'll be interested in hearing their report.

"The inside, as I said, is huge. There are multiple rooms and it would be a great place to play hide and seek as adults. There are too many places that little ones could hide though, and we'd have to send the search dogs in to find them. There is even a ballroom, which personally I thought would be good for a game of soccer when it is rainy. I certainly wouldn't use it for dancing. I am the least graceful person around and, when I dance, I look like Elaine on Seinfeld. I took ballet lessons as a kid and the ballet school paid my mom to not send me back. Apparently I looked like a hippo with a tutu flying through the air and, like a hippo, I didn't land gracefully. I took out that whole damn class of ballerinas like a stack of dominoes. There were two broken arms, one concussion and a chipped front tooth in my class. Parents were threatening to boycott. My mom bought me a Wonder Woman costume with the money from the ballet school, and didn't take me back. It was just as well. Class was at nine on Saturday mornings, and I preferred to sleep.

"Lindsay and her son Angus are quite aware of Colin's extra activities, which has been nice for us as there have been no conversational tripwires. In fact, Angus owns a media conglomerate, and he told us last night that Colin often used Angus's televised news channel to disseminate coded information to his spies. Angus was quite proud of the work that he had done and the part that he had played, and he told Ranger that he would be happy to continue using his news channel to disseminate information again. I hope they don't ask me to code the messages. I have enough trouble with English and, despite trying, have not been able to pick up any Spanish. I wonder if I could code it into Pig Latin? That I might have a chance at. Besides swear words, it is the only other language that I've been able to teach myself. Swearing however? I can speak in many, many languages. I've even got...I've especially got...sign language down pat. But then y'all saw a sample of my sign language brilliance when I was in the hospital wearing the face mask.

"I think that is about all the news here. Take it easy over the next couple of days. Talk lots, take time to relax and spend time with your loved ones, and remember that you did something good. It may not have ended well, but it ended and that too is a relief to the parents."

I flipped out of my email program and into Pinterest. I wondered if I could get a dress made of the Black Shadow fabric that Colin had designed. It would look fabulous with a dark black blazer to wear to court. I started searching for dress designs, but I didn't get far into it before my email flag popped up. I flipped into it.

"Hey, Steph", said Nick. "It's great to hear from you. I know you heard from Miguel that things are a little upsetting around here. Usually, only one of us is suffering from PTSD symptoms at a time. This time, all three of us are and we're all having a little trouble coping. I don't know about Miguel and Dirk, but I know that I had trouble sleeping last night. I've been up since three, and I only fell asleep around one. I'm planning on ripping wallpaper off the wall today. If nothing else, I hope to tire myself out for bedtime tonight. I also have an emergency appointment with my therapist today, and I am looking forward to that. Having said all that, it was gratifying hearing your comments. You made me feel better about what happened and my role in it and my resulting upset, so thank you for that.

"You know, the guys and I had been hoping that your visit to Scotland would be relaxing and would allow you to heal – not get reinjured. I hope you feel better soon. You don't deserve to be in pain. What was that other woman thinking, anyway? She can't force someone to be her biological parent. Has she done a paternity test?

"The castle sounds great, but large. I can't imagine how much time it would take to clean. Just remember – the kids are short. They can dust the legs of the tables and chairs and things while you do the surfaces. That would let you get through the cleaning a lot faster.

"Take care, sleep lots, and we'll see you when we see you."

I hit reply. "Hey, Nick. The castle is beautiful but in truth is too large for me. I was thinking that I'd suggest it to Ranger to run training exercises though. There is room for sixty-eight people to sleep, assuming that we don't have staff and, to be honest, I'm not a staff sort of person. We have one lady that is a caretaker/housekeeper/steward that lives on the property, and I don't think she knows what to make of us. She keeps offering to do things for us, and we keep thanking her but telling her we can do them ourselves. I'm thankful that we have a team of cleaners to come in to keep the castle in tiptop shape. Personally, I'm still finding my way around in it. It would take me a week just to find the dusters and the mop. Knowing Ranger, he would move them after I finally found them just to fuck with me, and then I'd have to start searching again. It would be like a sad Easter egg hunt – sad because there wouldn't be chocolate.

"Colin arranged to have the girls' rooms and Eli's room redone to suit the kids' personalities. He also went shopping for toys and books and, judging by how much he bought, he had a good time. The kids are very spoiled. They have no clue as to the experience they are having. To them, it is just another house, a large house that makes it hard to find the other people in the family when you are looking for them. They have suggested that the halls would be good for riding bikes in. Hey! It just occurred to me as to why this house is so big! It's to give the kids a place to ride their bikes when it is gray and mucky out – which seems to be all the time. It has rained every day since we got here for a portion of the day but, since it has only rained for an hour or two each day, Lindsay and Angus have informed us that the weather is 'bonny'.

"Lindsay and Angus, Colin's sister and nephew, are good people. They said that Colin adopted me as his daughter, which makes them an aunt and cousin. I think they are just lonely. They are the last in their family line and have embraced us with open arms. They love kids and just about glow when the kids give them hugs. With me being beddridden for a while, Lindsay has offered to come over and look after the kids for part of the day so that Ranger can do some work for the office and I can rest. It takes a huge pressure off me, as without Lindsay someone else would have to look after the kids and I don't want to have to rely on Tracy and Joe when this is their holiday. While they would do it without question, I'd rather see them exploring the area. Same with Kai and Julie. Kai is going to be put to work looking after the kids when Julie and I go into the office to work with the research department.

However, I am looking forward to being able to move around more. Ranger told me that there is a nice path down near the water to walk along, and just like everyone else I am looking forward to investigating. When it is really bonny.

"That's about it. All I've done today is sleep, so I'm actually a pretty boring person to talk to. Go back to bed and try to get another hour or two before the kids get up. Take it easy, Steph. P.S. What happens if you fall asleep on your smartphone? You download a nap. Groan.

Seconds later, Dirk sent an email. "Hey Steph. Your email was timely. It is five in the morning, and I haven't been able to sleep a wink. I have been playing on the computer so that I don't wake the baby, and I've been interspersing playing on the computer with checking on the kids to make sure they are alright. I hope this hyperawareness doesn't last long. It reminds me of when I just got back from overseas, and I don't really want to have to go on medication again. I am grateful that Ranger allowed us to talk to our spouses. I don't know how Nick is doing – I will give him a call today in case he wants to talk. I know that I don't think that I'd be able to get through this without Cindy. We talked – and cried – for a long time last night.

"You know, I was just thinking. Wouldn't it be great to get the regular gang together and go to Scotland for July fourth or something like that? We'd have a blast, and maybe the weather would be better at that time of year. I've never stayed in a castle, and I think it would be fun. Don't worry about us playing hide and seek. We have a number of former Special Forces in our group of friends. We'll be able to find those kids wherever they hide. It might take us a week or two, but we'll find them. Think about it.

"Damn, I hear the baby. Gotta go. Have a good day."

I hit reply. "Hey, Dirk. I'm not happy that you are wondering if you are going to have to go on medication again. Remember, if you need to take more down time, take it. Your health is what is important. I know that it's hard, but you also have to remember that you found the baby. Although it ended badly, you stopped the parents from tormenting themselves with the 'what ifs' and you allowed them to instead get on a path of healing. You found her, Dirk. Just like you found Tia. Just like you found Nick's mother-in-law. Just like you found countless other Amber Alert victims. You are a stopper, Dirk, and you did your job well. You stop bad things from happening. I know that it is hard to see that when you are in the middle of a case, but because of you Nick's kids are happy and living with Nick, no longer being abused or lied to. Because of you, Tia is living with Ranger and me. She is happy and healthy and is growing like a weed. You did that. It didn't work out as well this time, but that was not your fault. That was because the woman was much sicker and more unbalanced than the ERTs had understood. For them, too, there was nothing they could do. It happened before they had even got into place. It was no one's fault. You did your job and did it well. You do amazing work that impacts people's lives, that makes people's lives better. I know it is hard, but you should be proud of yourselves. I know that I am.

"So, with everybody having trouble sleeping – I must admit that it is nice for me to be up at the same time as you! – I looked up a few sleeping jokes. Nick just got a real groaner. In the interests of fairness, here is yours: What happens to a man who runs behind a car? He gets exhausted. Ha! Tell that one to your kids. The baby might think it's funny. Your older kids? Not so much.

"Take it easy today. Put the baby in her stroller and take her out for a run. Don't torment yourself with what happened. I know it is hard, but you have to accept that she was mentally ill, the mentally ill often are illogical and erratic, and you cannot predict what they are going to do. Remember that you have worked Amber Alerts many times with success – and that this time was not a reflection of what you did but how sick the kidnapper was."